The Chair Prediction The Kicks All Other Chair Predictions In The Seat By Lance Norris Four chairs sit alone on the stage. On each is affixed a number -- 1,2,3,4 -- from left to right. Just like we read English. It is no coincidence. We are all speaking English. Next to the chairs sits a large drawing pad with a bold prediction written on the top sheet. The performer asks a spectator to come up and assist. You show the prediction to the crowd that your little helper can not see. It reads, “She Will Sit In Chair Number Three”. She walk to the center of the stage and sit in, wait for it….
Chair Number Three! A gasp come from the crowd, as villagers gather to burn you as a witch. So how is it done? The same way Dunninger used to do it. You cheat. The drawing pad is made up into an index. Not one of those complicated, Pat Page style index things, but let’s give him credit anyway. Under the blank top sheets are four pages each stating a chair number 1 through 4. You place a tab one each numbered page which allows you to locate the correct prediction by touch. Put the tab for 1 on the far left of the page, two a little into the right, but not in the center, three further past center to the fight and four to the far right. You‘re going to want to make the tabs the same color as the pad so they don‘t stick out. Now all you have to do is divine which chair the lady will sit in. There are two ways to do this: One)
Become a real psychic, but that could be very time consuming, expensive and quite frankly, impossible; or you could try an easier method, cheat. You ask everyone in the audience to think of one of the numbered chairs. Really focus on it, but do not to say anything out loud. Don’t share with your neighbor. In fact, don’t even look at the chair anymore. Then you walk into the house and grab a hot chick near the back. You ask for her for name then ask for a round of applause for the babe, just because she got her name right. Under the cover of the applause you ask her, “Which number chair did you pick?” When she tells you, (in this case Chair Three) you say, “Yeah, most people pick that one”. Walk her back up to the stage. As soon as you get there you say, “Young lady, you now have a chair number in mind. Please go sit”. As she starts walking to the chairs you pick up your
drawing pad reveal your "prediction" by locating the right tab for the Chair Three prediction and hold it up for the audience. Make sure you have the prediction pad placed well down stage and to the side, so she doesn‘t get a chance to see what you’re a holding. The crowd will applaud your mad skills and she will just think they are clapping for her beauty, the vain little beast. Move you move onto the next phase of the routine quick like a bunny, so she doesn’t bother to look at your prediction. Trust me. It worked for Dunninger for years. And you though Kenton Kreeper, Luke Jermay and them were the guys that thought of that duel reality junk. It’s older than the Pope’s nose, my friend.
WHAT THE HECK DECK Phase two is an Invisible Deck trick for those of you who can’t afford an invisible deck.
Now that your chippy is comfortable in Chair Number Three, you ask her if she has a really good imagination, because she is going to have to really, really see the invisible cards if this trick is going to work. Hand her an invisible deck of cards and tell her deal the deck into two separate piles, and then again, and then again. Encourage her to really get into the actions, a lot like a hypnotist milking the humor out of a ‘hypnotized’ woman doing a pantomime. You get her to eliminate cards, with no equivocation or magician’s choice, until she is down to just one invisible card, which only she
knows. You then hand her the drawing pad and a marker and ask her write the name of her card down as you turn away and walk down stage. When she’s done, you concentrate and then announce the name of the card, which she confirms by turning the pad towards the audience. The Method: Tell her she’s really got to use her imagination and then ask her to deal the deck into two piles, red and black. Tell her to really visualize as she deals. When she starts to deal the cards into red and black you will see from her actions, which pile is red and which is black. Every time you say ’Red and Black’ you say it in that order, ’Red and Black’. When she starts to deal, she will deal her imaginary red cards down first. They you tell her to pick up one of the invisible piles. Because you know which one she visualized at red and which one is her black, you will be able to see which color she picked up. So now you know what color the chosen card will
be. You then ask her to deal the cards into hearts and diamond if she had picked up the red or clubs and spades if she had picked up the black. This may very well throw her for a loop because she’ll have no idea how you knew that she picked up either the red or black pile. Same as before, use the same order every time, hearts or diamonds, clubs and spades, and if she is really visualizing she will either deal hearts or clubs into the first pile, respectively. Once she is done tell her to pick up one of the pack and brush the other off the table. Again, you will know which pile she picks up, so know you know what suit she picked. Now tell her to toss the King, Queen and Jack out of her pile and deal the cards into odd and even piles. Again, only use the order odd and even, and she’ll follow along. Tell her to pick up one of the piles and brush the other away and again you’ll know now if she holds the odd or even cards in her mind.
Ask her to deal the cards in her hand face up to the table. Human nature will cause her to deal them in numerical order 3, 5, 7, 9 if they are odd. It’s an odds on bet that she won’t think of the Ace, but if she does, you’ll know because she’ll deal down five cards. Now tell her to brush away the card from each end and choose from the cards in front of her. Just watch which invisible card she picks up. If it’ the one on her left, it’s the 3 (working with the odd cards. 4 if she’s working with the even). If she takes the invisible card from the middle, it’s the 5 (or 6) and if she takes it from the far right, it’s the 7 (or 8). Ask her to write the name of her card down as you walk away and it’s all over but the crying.
BAR BET TIME
How to cut an orange with a cigarette You bet the sap sitting next to you that you can cut and orange without using a knife, but a cigarette. Because of a life long fear of scurvy, of course, you never travel without at least on orange on you at all times. In case you don’t share this fear, it will also work with a lemon that you get from the bartender. Once you get them to take the bet, take the filter tip off the cigarette. Hold it over the flame from your lighter. After a couple of seconds, remove it from the flame and press it flat with your thumb and index fingers. Don’t use a thumb tip, that’s a different trick. The slightly melted filter tip will turn hard as it cool, only a matter of seconds. Now you can easily cut the orange or lemon or your wrist with this impromptu knife, you friggin MacGyver, you.
CANADIAN BAKING (A Two Person Code For The Fried)
Perhaps you are familiar with my penultimate work on the two person code, Code and Flu Season? If not, get it soon. It is going fast.
While Code and Flu is dirt simple to learn, some of you might still have problems with it (and you know who you are) so here’s what’s gotta be the easiest two person code ever. I think I first learned it from an episode of Scooby Doo, or maybe Gilligan’s Island. Or maybe it was that episode where the Mystery Inc. gang went to Gilligan’s Island, or did I just dream that? Anyways, I had to resort to using it once when I was working with a Canadian. Hey, we all have our crosses to bare. Just scotch tape the end of some invisible thread to the dolt you’re working with’s ear. It doesn’t even need to be one of those expensive thread reel evil
internet magic shops will sell you for a 800% markup. Just go to the fabric store and ask for a spool of invisible thread. I think it cost less that three bucks. You hold the other end of the thread and you literally have a direct line to your partner, One gentle tug and you send a clear message to your partner. You’re attaching the thread to his ear, because the human ear is very sensitive and a tug on the ear is very noticeable. If you use enough thread, you partner can even leave the room and you can still pass messages to them with a simple system of tugs. Come up with your own system that works for you, but one idea is tug once for the item on the left, twice for the item in the middle and thrice for the item on right. Thrice is how poets say three times. So if you have three items on the table and your partner leaves the room, you can still tell him which item was selected by the sap you are working. Of course, I realize that this is a pretty lame system, but it works in a pitch. My suggestion is just go out
and find yourself a smarter partner and use my really simple Code and Flu Season system.
Vu Do You Love Two? Further thoughts on the trick I tried to get David Blaine to buy, but he refused to touch the bar of soap required. I told him he could also do it with wax, but he was already too scared. Effect: A name of a person they secretly lust after is written on a piece of paper on a notepad by the spectator, the paper is torn off unseen by the magician, crumpled up and placed in an ashtray. It is then set on fire. The ashes are then rubbed on the magicians arm and the name of the person written on the paper mysteriously appears. Preparation : You will need a small notepad, pen, ashtray, lighter, gasoline, a rag and a small piece of soap or, yes David, wax. Method: The spectator is asked to write the name of a person they have a crush on down on a notepad.
Then they’re told tear of the sheet of notepaper, crumple it up and place it in the ashtray, where you then sets the paper ablaze. Because you rubbed the inside of the ash tray with a gasoline soaked rag earlier in the day, the paper will create a large ball of fire that will give you just the misdirection you will need to pull this off. Take the notepad off the spectator as they battle the flame and you should be able to see the imprint of the name written on the paper above in the next sheet of the notepad. If you can’t make it out, there’s an old Columbo trick where you rub a pencil on the second sheet and the imprint should be visable, but you may not have enough cover time to pull this off. Also, the looking at the pad should not be made obvious. If the light is good, it should only take a quick glance. Then carefully take the small piece of wax or soap and write the name on the imprint on your inner arm ( this action should not be visible to anyone ).
Once the fire is contained, you can then take some ash from the ashtray and rub it over the wax where it will stick and create an impression of the spectators word to their amazement.
You may also burn down the bar, so please, don’t use too much gasoline! You can also pull this off without the fire by writing the name of a playing card on your inner arm with soap earlier in the night. Forcing that same card on the sap. Giving them a pencil and telling them to write the name of their card down. Take the pencil back and tell they you are going to shave the name of their card off the pencil. Stick the pencil in a pencil sharpener and twist away. Take some of the wood and lead shavings and rub
them over the soap/wax and reveal the card’s name. Sugar and salt don’t work too well, but Sweet & Low or pepper could be used in a pinch. You can also use coffee grounds if you don’t mind walking around smelling like Juan Valdez all day.
CASEY AT THE BAT The big story in the news the other day, once you got past all the who-struck-Johnny over Katrina, was that a paparazzo was arrested for hiding on the set of the movie THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD in order to get a picture of one of the stars, Brad Pitt. This story begs two questions: do we really need more pictures of Brad Pitt and do we really need a western staring Casey Affleck? I guess it’s rare to find a photo op of Pitt without Angelina Jolie and her accessory kids, but who need a new Casey Affleck movie, western or otherwise? The key word being “new”, when Casey has such a rich history to re-explore (and if Hollywood does
anything well, it is re-exploring) Honestly, shouldn’t Ben’s little brother be working on SOUL SURVIVORS II or DROWNING MONA AGAIN? The least he could do is dust off the tights one more time and treat us to HAMLET RELOADED: THIS TIME IT’S PERSONAL. Or couldn’t he pick up pen again and write. Who didn’t love GERRY? Unfortunately it seems an Affleck family trait is to set the world ablaze with your mad screen-playerism and then walk away. Brother Ben did it after winning the Oscar for his debut, GOOD WILL HUNTING, why shouldn’t Casey? The Affleck’s are the pride of Massachusetts, because outside of the sports world, we have very little to be proud about on a national level, but Casey would do well to remind himself that he’s not the only actor to be born in Falmouth, MA. The great Gretel Twombly also hails from the bunghole of Cape Cod. Perhaps you remember her as The Fluffer in the Farrelly Brother’s STUCK ON YOU. Sadly, she gave up acting for the bright lights of production coordinating. Maybe Casey might do the
same while we‘re still proud. I don’t mean to be too cruel to Casey Affleck, but it dovetails nicely into my real point. Casey’s (and Ben’s) long time companion, Matt Damon has turned up in the Terry Gilliam film THE BROTHER’S GRIMM. I love Terry Gilliam and hate Damon; needless to say, I was excited on so many levels to see this movie. How often do you get to stride that thin line between love and hate in one film? Just as I was warming up to rip into Damon and his high school drama department English accent, I went and read this quote: “I sort of took my career and destroyed it. I had to destroy my career because I just didn't like it. I didn't like the movies I was making. People weren't giving me a chance to do anything other than be the blond-haired bimbo, and it was starting to bore me. I couldn't have spent the rest of my life following the paths that were being presented to me, so I had to start creating some for myself. It's taken a while, but it looks like doors are opening again.” Sadly, that didn’t come from the Oscar winning
pen of Matt Damon. It was his co-star, Heath Ledger, talking, and God forbid Heath Ledger should grow bored! I still haven’t figured out if THE BROTHERS GRIMM was part of his destroying his career or his attempt at rebirth. Ledger brings very little to the table, other than aping some moves he learned off a Johnny Depp retrospective. The movie itself has problems, but I don’t want to get into that here. I want to mock Ledger. To look at his massive folio of work, you would have to guess that 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU was the movie where Heath started getting type cast as ‘the blond-haired bimbo’. It would have to be, since he had only done Australian TV and Indy films before that. He followed that up with THE PATRIOT, and, I though, did a fine job. Next came A KNIGHT’S TALE, the movie that launched the whole David Manning debacle. Remember that one? Sony-TriStar does. They had to pay out a 1.5 million dollar settlement because the made up a film critic, David Manning, so that he could fawn over sub-par pictures in commercials. They really didn’t need to, as there are plenty of
movie critics that will fall all over themselves to say something nice just so their blurb gets attached to a movie poster or newspaper ad. Apparently Sony could find anyone to say anything nice about A KNIGHT’S TALE, so Manning swing into action. As a matter of fact, David Manning was so taken with Heath he declared the Aussie "this year's hottest new star". The hot new star went on to have a small role in MONSTERS BALL, but far more important parts in FOUR FEATHERS, NED KELLEY, THE ORDER, and CANDY. It’s good for his fans to know that he only took those part to ruin his career and he’s sorry for any money you may have lost buying tickets or renting the DVDs. He was back to playing the himbo in LORDS OF DOGTOWN, and then there’s THE BROTHERS GRIMM. Like the Phoenix, however, Heath Ledger will rise from the ashes of this mockery of a shame with his new movie, THE BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, about (I’m guessing from the trailer) a couple of gay cowboys. Playing gay is nothing new for Ledger. He played a gay bike rider on an Australian TV show before he became a star. He did, however,
shy away from playing the gay Alexander the Great in Oliver Stone’s folly. I’m guessing that it was then girlfriend Naomi Watts that walked Heath into taking THE BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, and the risk of playing a gay lead character. The question is, did she want him to stretch as an actor, or was this her pay back for all the times he cheated on her with Scarlett Johansson and all the times he got her little pet doggy, Bob, stoned. I vaguely remember that a couple years ago they had to rush the dog to a pet hospital in Vancouver because the pooch was too stoned to stand-up. Anyhow, I’m guessing she talked him to taking the role as payback. Ang Lee is directing BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. This is right in Ang’s wheelhouse, after all he is the guy that turned the Hulk into a fag on the big screen. But the word on the set is that Heath go so ‘in to’ one of his kissing scenes with co-star Jake Gyllenhaal, things go so hot and heavy, he broke Jake’s nose. Talk about tough love. Speaking of gossip: the word is things got so ugly during filming that writer/producer Larry McMurtry
was banned from the set and film editor Geraldine Peroni (who did a lot of Robert Altman’s films so she is no stranger to difficult shoots) killed herself rather than begin cutting the movie. It could be the Curse of Heath Ledger. Ted Demme had a cocaine-fueled heart attack while playing basketball, as he was getting ready to direct Heath and Ewan McGregor in NAUTICA. The movie will now be directed by the guy that did LOST IN SPACE and if Heath stays attached to the film I’m sure it will be added to his ‘I was ruining my career on purpose’ pile. At least, unlike Brad Pitt, when Heath is confronted by the paparazzi he takes matter into his own hands. He claims to pelt the photogs with eggs whenever they get too close. Of course, I’m not buying it because that would be assault, and paparazzi is going to walk away from the Tabloid equivalent to an Oscar; a large out of court cash settlement from a movie star gone wild? If it is true, the paparazzi had the last laugh. See, there is a nude scene in BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN where Heath has to jump in a lake, but Ang will edit out all the frontal shots from the
finished film. Of course if you do a quick Google search you’ll find plenty of shot snapped by the press from a safe, egg throwing proof distance.
