BoB Workbook

Purchased by [email protected]

TITLE PAGE TO COME




The Brain over Binge Workbook: 5 Steps to Quit Binge Eating is a tool to help you gain control of binge eating. It is not intended to replace the services of trained health professionals or be a substitute for medical advice. Binge eating (and purging) can have serious health consequences. If you suspect you have a medical problem, please seek medical attention from a qualied healthcare provider. Notice:

This book is for those who feel capable and stable enough for self-recovery. If there are severe, complicating mental health issues, or if you have suicidal thoughts, plea se get professional help immediately. The author and publisher disclaim any liability arising directly or indirectly indirectly from the use of this workbook.

Copyright © 2014 by Kathryn Hansen

Camellia Publishing, LLC PO Box 554 New Smyrna Beach, FL 32170

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the publisher.

ISBN: 978-0-9844817-3-6


Contents Introduction

i

Preparing to Quit Binge Eating

1

I.

Describe Your Binges

1

II. Rening Your Binge

3

III. Your Personal Binge Denition

5

IV. Putting Aside Other Less-than-Ideal Eating Habits

6

V. Focusing on Why You Want to Quit

7

VI. Zero in on the Real Cause of Binge Eating

10

VII.You Don’t Binge to Cope (or for True Pleasure)

13

Step 1: View Urges to Binge As Neurological Junk

16

Exercise A: Realize that Your Urges Are Neurological Junk from the Lo wer Brain

17

Exercise B: What Is Meaningless, Powerless, and Harmless to You?

19

Exercise C: Use Your Own Insights to Shift Your Perspective

21

Step 2: Separate the Highest Human Brain from Urges to Binge

22

Exercise D: Describe Your True Self as Separate from the Urges

23

Exercise E: Stop Blaming Your Flaws and Problems, and Focus on Your Strengths

24

Exercise F: Practice Being a Compassionate Observer of a ll of Your Thoughts

25

Exercise G: Look for Pronouns When Learning to Separate from the Binge Urges

26

Exercise H: You Have Power over the Urges

28

Exercise I: View Binge Eating as “Not an Option”

29

Step 3: Stop Reacting to Urges to Binge

31

Exercise J: How Do You Typically React to Binge Urges?

31

Exercise K: How to Stop Reacting to Urges (Detachment)

32

Exercise L: When It Doesn’t Affect You, You Don’t React

34

Exercise M: Practice Not Reacting to Binge Thoughts

35


Step 4: Stop Acting on Urges to Binge

36

Exercise N: Avoiding Acting on the Urge Using Inaction, Alternative Action, or Still Observation

36

Exercise O: Keeping Track of and Learning from Your Success

38

Exercise P: Setting the Proper Expectations (Will Not Acting on Urges Be Easy?)

43

Exercise Q: Dispelling Discomfort

44

Step 5: Get Excited (About Resisting Binge Urges and Recovery Itself)

47

Exercise R: Celebrate to Strengthen Your Higher Brain

47

Exercise S: Focus on (and Get Excited About!) Other Aspects of Your Life

48

Exercise T: Get Excited about the Positive Aspects of Your Recovery Reality

49

Maintaining Your Progress I:

“Don’t Act” Fast

50 50

II: Dismiss Thoughts that Try to Pull You Back to the Habit

51

III: Common Tempting Thoughts

52

IV: Take One Urge at a Time

54

V: Accept that You Won’t Always Feel Happy about Resisting Urges

55

VI: Be Patient as Your Urges Go Away

56

Troubleshooting I:

Feeling Like You Truly Want to Binge

58 58

II: The Urges Feel Too Powerful to Resist

61

III: Fearing Quitting

65

Final Thoughts

67

Acknowledgements

68

Notes

69

Purchased by [email protected] Introduction

Inroducion Welcome to The Brain over Binge Workbook: 5 Steps to Quit Binge Eating . I’m Kathryn Hansen, and I wrote this workbook as a companion to my book: Bra in ove r Binge: Why I Was Bulimic, Why Conventional Therapy Didn’t Work, and How I Recovered for Good. The purpose of this workbook is to explain in more detail the five steps that gave me freedom from binge eating. Since writing Bra in over Binge, I’ve had many readers ask me for extra advice and tools to help them better understand and utilize the five steps in their own recovery. I hope this workbook will pro vide a dditional guidance in a practical way. It contains a review of important concepts from Brain over Binge, so that you can use the workbook whether or not you’ve read the book. The pages that follow are designed to help you discover the nature of your binge urges, and begin viewing them in a way that allows you to resist. To resist binge urges, there is nothing you actively have to do; so the exercises you’ll nd throughout this workbook are aimed at creating insight and altering your mindset. You will work on changing your perspective when urges arise, so that you can nd your own power to overcome them. As you go through this workbook, it’s important to trust your own observations, discoveries, and intuition; and build upon what works for you. Bra in over Binge was my personal story of recovery, and this workbook can help you create your own path to freedom from binge eating.

Wha You’ll Find Inside This workbook is divided into eight sections. The first section —Preparing to Quit Binge Eating— will help you define your binges and their cause, and help you focus on the goal of recovery. Next, there will be one section for each of the 5 Steps to Quit Binge Eating— c omplete with written exercises to help you grasp new ideas as they apply to you. In the last two sections of the workbook— Maintaining Your Progress, and Troubleshooting —yo u will lea rn how to stay on track until your binge urges fade completely, and also how to deal with common problems such as a fear of quitting. It’s important to keep your recovery as simple as possible. You should only use the pages that you feel will be helpful, and skip what doesn’t resonate with you. Work at a pace that you are comfortable with, remembering that your goal is to transform the way you think about and respond to your binge urges. You may have success resisting urges right away, or it may take some patience to work through and incorporate the concepts from this workbook into your life.

Ea Adequaely While Resising Urges I believe recovery from bulimia, binge eating disorder, and any form of binge eating comes down to two basic goals: 1.) Resist the Urges to Binge, and 2.) Eat Adequately. That’s it. You don’t need anything else, as far as recovery is concerned. If you nd that doing something else helps you resist the urges to binge, or helps you eat adequately, then by all meansdo it. But if it doesn’t lead you closer to accomplishing those two goals, throw it out.

vi

Purchased by [email protected] Introduction

This workbook will focus primarily on resisting binge urges, because often this is all that is necessary to achieve freedom from binge eating. Many people who binge don’t need much guidance in the “eat adequately” part of recovery, because they already have a sense of how to do that, or they relearn it rather quickly once binge eating stops. Alternately, some people do struggle greatly with figuring out how to nourish their body in a normal way, and therefore need more help in that area. Eating is highly individual, and there are many resources out there to help you determine what is right for your body. Know that you don’t have to eat perfectly, but you need to try to feed yourself sufficiently, and stay awa y from starvation diets. This is because trying to resist urges to binge while depriving yourself of enough food would be nearly impossible. When you are starving, your urges will likely overpower you, and they will not get weaker over time. Eating enough, coupled with knowing how to resist binge urges, gives you the best chance to succeed.

vii



Preparing o Qui Binge Eaing You do not need a lengthy preparation process before you can quit, nor do you need to solve any of your other problems. You have the power in you right now to stop binge eating. The preparation worksheets are simply to help you zero in on your problem behavior and understand its cause, and set your focus on the goal of recovery.

I: Describe Your Binges Binge eating is subjective; so before you set out to quit, it’s important to know which behavior(s) you will be tackling. For some people, binges are unmistakable; but for others, it may require some thought and observation to define binges. If you already have a clear picture of what you consider a binge, and what you don’t, you can move on to page 6. Answer the following questions to the best of your ability right now. You will use these answers and information from pages 3 and 4 to create your personal binge definition on page 5. Your personal bin ge definition will help y ou target the behavior you wan t to stop. What are the specic behaviors that you personally classify as binge eating?

You can write your comments here

What do you think and feel before you begin a binge?


1



I: Describe Your Binges What do you think and feel during a binge? Describe the experience.


How much, and what type of food do you typically eat during a binge?


What do you think and feel after a binge?


Your answers above give you a general picture of your binge eating. Do not analyze your answers or try to figure out why you binge, and don’t be ashamed of what you’ve written about. You are simply describing what is, without judging it.

2



II: Refining Your Binge Definiion Keep your answers from the previous worksheet in mind as you read through the following information about binge eating. Underline, highlight, or put a check by the descriptions that apply to you. This will help you get a clear picture of your binge eating, as it presents itself in your life. The more specific you can be about your problematic binge behavior, the better you can focus on stopping it. (Remember to keep all judgment out.)

Clinical Crieria or Defining Binges1 ● According to the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorde rs), a binge eating episode is characterized by:

●

-

Eating a larger amount of food than normal during a short period of time (e.g., within any 2-hour period)

-

Lack of control over eating during the binge episode (i.e. the feeling that one cannot stop eating)

The DSM also says that binge eating episodes are associated with three or more of the following: -

Eating until feeling uncomfortably full

-

Eating large amounts of food when not physically hungry

-

Eating much more rapidly than normal

-

Eating alone because you are embarrassed by how much you’re eating

-

Feeling disgusted, depressed, or guilty after overeating

Inuiion Is Usually More Accurae What is more important than the diagnostic criteria is how a binge feels to you. There is often an unmistakable mindset and way of eating, and you usually know on an intuitive level what you consider a binge. The feeling of a lack of control is almost always present, but there may be other feelings that accompany your binges. (On the next page, you will use intuition to describe your binge episodes.)

3



II: Refining Your Binge Definiion Take a moment to think about how your binges feel on an intuitive level, and write down a few adjectives or phrases to describe those feelings.


Don’ Overreach in Defining Binges Right now, only focus on the obvious binge eating behavior that is interfering with your life. There may be areas of your eating behavior that are not ideal, but also not what you would consider bin ge eating (examples: excessive gra zing, eating processed food for too many meals, having dessert too frequently, etc.). Connecting all of your less-than-ideal eating to your binge eating often complicates recovery; so remember, you are not tackling every food issue right now—just binge eating. Keep this in mind as you complete your personal binge definition on the next worksheet.

4



III: Your Personal Binge Definiion Now that you have: ●

Described your binge eating in detail (pages 1 and 2)

●

Read diagnostic criteria for binge eating, and marked what applies to you (page 3)

●

Analyzed your binges on an intuitive level (pages 3 and 4)

●

Learned that you should not include all of your less-than-ideal eating habits in your binge definition (page 4) …

It’s time to write your personal binge definition. You may want to go back and look at pages 1–4, and also spend a little time observing your own behavior (if you feel it’s necessary) before writing your definition. There is no right or wrong answer. Remember, this is the behavior you want to be free of, and no two answers will look exactly the same. Once you are ready, try to capture in one sentence (more if you need it) what a binge means and feels like to you. Your personal binge denition:


*This is the eating behavior you will be working on as you complete the 5 Steps to Quit Binge Eating worksheets (pages 16–49).*

5



IV: Puting Aside Oher Less-han-Ideal Eaing Habis On page 4, you learned not to overreach in defining your binges. You are not tackling every problematic eating issue right now—only binge eating. This doesn’t mean you will be ignoring the other eating habits you’d like to improve. It only means you’ll be stopping binge eating first . After you quit binge eating, you will be better able to tackle other eating challenges you may have, such as overeating, eating too much processed food, or grazing. Quitting binge eating frees up a lot of physical, mental, and emotional energy, which you can put to good use overcoming any eating issues you want. To help you put less-than-ideal eating habits aside for now, it helps to write them down. That way you are fully acknowledging them, but disconnecting them from your binge eating recovery.

What are some eating habits you aren’t completely satised with, that you might like to improve after binge eating stops? (Don’t feel like you have to nish your list right now. You can add to it over time as you encounter situations where you eat in a less-than-ideal way.)


Simply acknowledge that you may need to address some things on this list at some point after binge eating stops. Don’t overthink these eating habits; don’t dwell on them; don’t put yourself down because of them; and, most importantly, don’t think that less-than-ideal eating leads to binge eating. You may nd that some problems on this list go away on their own once binge eating stops!

6



V: Focusing on Why You Wan To Qui To recover from binge eating, you have to want to. This doesn’t mean you have to be unwaveringly certain of your desire to recover at all times, but you have to know that your current behavior is holding you back from living the life you want. Use the following chart to list the benefits and costs of quitting binge eating or continuing your behavior. Remember tha t these are your own personal reasons; do not list benefits and costs that you think you “should” have. Again, you are not passing judgment on yourself. You are simply observing that you have mixed feelings, but that you do in fact desire recovery. In the worksheets for Step 2 (pages 22–30), you’ll discover that many of the reasons you don’t want to quit binge eating aren’t valid. Benets of quitting binge eating

Benets of continuing to binge


Costs of quitting binge eating

Costs of continuing to binge

Based on the chart above, and your introspection and intuition, answer the two questions that follow on the next page.

7



V: Focusing on Why You Wan o Qui Why do you want to keep binge eating?


Why do you want to quit binge eating?


Keeping Your Atenion on Why You Wan o Qui You will inevitably have some hesitations about quitting. This is normal. Expect that you will sometimes feel you have good reasons for continuing your problematic behavior, but this doesn’t need to pre vent recovery. When you “want” to recover, the follow statements will hold true: ●

The costs of continuing to binge are greater than the benefits of continuing to binge.

●

The benefits of quitting binge eating are greater than the costs of quitting binge eating.

It’s fine to acknowledge your ambivalence at times, but the more you focus on the benefits of quitting, the less your brain will remind you of the benefits of continuing to binge. You will soon learn that what you see as the benefits of binge eating and the costs of quitting are only faulty brain messages that should be ignored; but for now … Simply try to keep your focus on why you want to recover.

8



V. Focusing on Why You Wan To Qui When you find yourself thinking about a benefit of binge eating or cost of quitting, don’t try to argue with it, and don’t try to make the thought go away. Instead, gently refocus your attention on one of the reasons you do want to quit.

Reminders o Reocus Rather than let your thoughts automatically remind you of the reasons you shouldn’t quit, take control of how you think about recovery. Posting reminders for yourself can help with this. A formula for writing these reminders can be as follows: When I nd myself thinking about: ( insert a benet of continuing to binge, or a cost of quitting ), I will gently refocus my attention on : ( insert a benet of quitting binge eating, or a cost of continuing to binge ).

You can write a reminder for each of the items you listed on the cost/benefit chart on page 7, and pos t these reminders whe rever you will notice the m. When I nd myself thinking about I will gently refocus my attention on When I nd myself thinking about

____________________________________________ , You can write your comments here ___________________________________________ . ____________________________________________ ,

I will gently refocus my attention on ____________________________________________ . When I nd myself thinking about

____________________________________________ ,


____________________________________________ ,


____________________________________________ ,

I will gently refocus my attention on ____________________________________________ .

9



VI: Zero in on he Real Cause o Binge Eaing Now tha t you’ve written your personal binge definition (pa ge 5), put aside other problematic eating habits (page 6), and examined some of the costs and benefits of recovery (page 7–9), it’s time to zero in on the real cause of your binge eating. To complete the rest of the worksheets, you will need to remember this important concept: The only direct cause of binge eating is: urges to binge.

If you didn’t have binge urges, you would not binge, no matter what else is going on in your life, no matter what emotions you are feeling, no matter what problems you are facing. There is nothing inherent about strong emotions or life’s problems that make you binge. It’s the urges that drive your behavior, regardless of when, where, how, or why they surface. Your urges encompass all of the thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and cravings that make you feel compelled to binge. Take a moment to think about your urges and how they get you to binge. In answering these questions, you are not trying to solve anything; you are only getting to know your urges a little better. (You can add to these answers over the next few days as you observe your urges.)

What do binge urges feel like to you?


Do the urges have a “voice” that encourages you to binge? What does that voice sound like? What does it tell you?


10



VI: Zero in on he Real Cause o Binge Eaing Does the voice of the urge use “logical” reasons to get you to binge? List as many of those reasons as you can.


What does the voice of the urge promise you? What payoff or rewards does it say you’ll get if you follow through and binge?


What physical symptoms do your binge urges create?


11



VI: Zero in on he Real Cause o Binge Eaing When do your urges arise? How often? Are there any patterns to when your urges surface?


Write down anything else you notice about your urges.


Why You Have Urges It is not usually helpful to try to find a complex or deep underlying emotional/psychological reason why you have these urges. Most of the time, urges are present because of two very simple factors: 1.)

Survival Instincts (dieting). Binge eating is an adaptive response to dieting. Calorie restriction puts your body and brain in survival mode, causing you to crave and seek out large amounts of food. This is a normal reaction; a symptom of a healthy brain.3

2.)

Habit (conditioning). Once you binge eat many times, your body and brain become conditioned to expect and demand the binges, so your brain automatically sends out strong urges, as if binge eating is necessary for your survival. This is a normal reaction; there is nothing wrong with you.4

How do you think survival instincts and/or habit play into the development and maintenance of your binge eating?


12



VII: You Don’ Binge o Cope (or or True Pleasure) Mainstream ideas tell us binge eating is a coping mechanism (for difcult emotions or life’s problems). If you’ve been led to believe that theory in the past, you may need to let go of it before you move forward.5 The following three questions can help you realize that binge eating is not a coping mechanism, and that whatever pleasure it brings you isn’t worth it. If you didn’t have urges to binge, would you binge anyway, just to cope with feelings/problems in your life? Why or why not?


If you had no urges to binge, would you binge anyway, just for pleasure? Why or why not?


If you didn’t have urges to binge, would you binge anyway, just to (insert any reason you think you may binge, such as ‘deal with stress,’ ‘avoid intimacy,’ ‘be emotionally numb’) ? (This question can be used to test any reason why you think you binge, and show you that binge eating is not a coping mechanism.)


13



VII: You Don’ Binge o Cope (or or True Pleasure) The voice of your urge may promise relief from stress, distraction from boredom, or reprieve from sadness, but the actual payoff is the opposite. Instead of pleasure or emotional stability, you are left with shame, pain, guilt, regret, and even more problems and difcult emotions in the long run. In other words … The urge promises you a way to cope and true pleasure, but doesn’t deliver. The intense “wanting” of the pleasure of a binge, or the false desire for some sort of emotional benef it is only pre sent temporarily while the urge is working. After you give in and binge, you realize that it was not worth it: the promised reward never comes. Use the following two questions to focus on the disconnect between pre-binge expectations and po st-bin ge real ity. Prior to a binge, what do your urges promise a binge will do for you?


After a binge, what is your actual “payoff”? In the long run, do the binges provide what the urges promise?


Even if binges bring some temporary distraction from problems or emotions, that doesn’t mean binge eating gives you a way to cope, or true pleasure. The point here is to recognize that—without the urges making you feel so compelled to binge—yo u would never choose binge eating as a way to cope or for pleasure.

14



VII: You Don’ Binge o Cope (or or True Pleasure) Zeroing in on the real cause of binge eating (the urges to binge) does not mean you will be indifferent to your other problems and difficult emotions. The problems in your life are real and deserve your attention; however, to recover, it is best to keep those challenges separate from binge eating.

Separae Oher Problems rom Binge Eaing Below, list the problems and difficult emotions in your life that you will keep separated from binge eating. These could be emotional issues from your past, daily stressors, relationship problems, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, etc. Your other problems that you want to avoid linking to binge eating recovery are:


If you ever begin to connect any of the above challenges to binge eating, tell yourself: That is a separate problem with a separate cure. The only cause of binge eating is an urge to binge.2 It is certainly worthwhile to learn to cope well with your other problems and difficult emotions, but how well you cope has no bearing on whe ther or not you binge. The good news is that when you stop binge eating, many of your other challenges will naturally go away, or improve significantly, and you’ll have an easier time coping with the ones that remain.

You are now ready o move on o The 5 Seps o Qui Binge Eaing

15


The 5 Steps to Quit Binge Eating

Sep 1: View Urges o Binge As Neurological Junk Now that you’ve completed the preparation w orksheets (pages 1–15), you a re ready for Ste p 1. Remember, as you progress through Steps 1–5, to use your personal binge definition from page 5 to focus on the specific behavior you want to stop. Recovery can become unnecessarily complicated if you try to change every less-than-ideal eating habit right now. The most important information you need to remember while completing the five steps is that your bin ge urges are not you.

Your “Lower” Brain The voice that encourages binge eating sounds very much like your own voice, but it is not. The urges arise automatically from the more primitive, animalistic part of your brain (which we’ll refer to as the lower brain). 6 The urges are a product of survival instincts and/or habit, and do not indicate what you truly want or need. Your urges are faulty brain messages. You cannot make these urges go away; you only need to learn to experience the urges in a new way so you can avoid acting on them. Then they will go away on their own. In this step, you will learn to experience any thought or feeling that encourages binge eating as neurological junk.

Wha Does i Mean o View Urges as Neurological Junk? ●

You will view the urges as worthless, faulty brain messages.

●

You will not give the urges any consideration, attention, or value.

●

You will view the urges as not coming from your true self.

●

You will not fight or argue with the urges.

●

You will not try to decipher the hidden emotional meaning of the urges.

●

You will not try to make the urges go away.

You will complete three exercises in this step that will help you learn to view urges as neurological junk.

16



Sep 1: View Urges o Binge As Neurological Junk The ultimate goal of Step 1 is to deprive the urges of ANY attention (neurological junk doesn’t deserve attention). However, before doing that, you will reexamine your urges briefly (you can refer to pages 10–12, where you described your urges).

Exercise A: Realize ha Your Urges Are Neurological Junk rom he Lower Brain The goal of Exercise A is to see that the thoughts, feelings, and physical symptoms that comprise the urges are temporary, faulty messages that are out of line with your true self. You may find yourself believing the faulty messages when you are in the midst of an urge, but when y ou are not experiencing an urge, you realize that those thoughts, feelings, and physical symptoms do not indicate your true wants and needs.

Urge Thoughts: Name one thought or logical reason the “voice” of your urge tells you to get you to binge.


When you are between binges and feeling rational (and not experiencing an urge), do you truly believe that the above thought warrants binge eating? Explain.


Urge Feelings: Name a feeling that you have prior to binge eating (anxiety, excitement, sadness, fear, etc.) and why it makes you feel compelled to binge.


*Exercise A continued on next page 17



Sep 1: View Urges o Binge As Neurological Junk Exercise A (con.): Realize ha Your Urges Are Neurological Junk rom he Lower Brain When you are between binges and feeling rational (and not experiencing an urge), do you truly believe the above feeling warrants binge eating? Explain.


Physical Symptoms of Urges: How does a binge urge make you feel physically? Name one or more physical symptoms that encourage you to binge.


When you are between binges and feeling rational (and not experiencing an urge), do you truly believe the above physical symptoms warrant binge eating? Explain. (It helps to think about whether or not a doctor would recommend binge eating as a remedy for the physical symptoms.)


*If binge eating temporarily makes the physical symptom go away, this is not a cure for that physical symptom. Binge eating only ensures that the symptom will keep coming back.* Between binge urges, your rational self can see that the urges aren’t truly valid; however, when the urges are present, it’s easy to believe them. You will learn to change your perspective so you can experience the urges as neurological junk, without being swayed into binge eating.

18



Sep 1: View Urges o Binge As Neurological Junk In Exercise A, you saw that the thoughts, feelings, and phy sical symptoms which encourage you to bin ge are n’t truly valid. Now y ou are going to expand your understanding o f neurological junk a nd refine your a bility to view urges with a new perspective. The following three words best describe neurological junk: ● Mea ningle ss (the urges have no significance to your true self) ● Powerless (the urges have no ability to make you binge) ● Har mless (the urges cannot possibly hurt you; they aren’t your enemy)

Exercise B: Wha Is Meaningless, Powerless, and Harmless o You? To get the hang of viewing you r urges as neurological junk, yo u will be thinking and writing ab out other things in your life that you view as meaningless, powerless, and harmless. What is something that is meaningless to you? When you think about it, how do you feel? (Do not choose something you dislike; choose something you have absolutely no interest in.) Exa mples: A trivial political issue that doesn’t affect you, or a sport you don’t care about.


If you felt the urge to (insert something you would NEVER consider doing) , would you give this urge any consideration? Why is this urge powerless to make you act? Is it difcult to avoid acting on it? Exa mpl es: Dan ce on a table at a restaurant, drive on the interstate without a seatbelt, smoke.


* Exercise B co ntinued on next pa ge 19



Sep 1: View Urges o Binge As Neurological Junk Exercise B (con.): Wha Is Meaningless, Powerless, and Harmless o You? Think of something or someone who is harmless to you, and describe what it feels like to think about him/her/it. Does it bring you any anxiety or fear? Exa mples: A brush, a cat in a yard in another city.


What would it feel like if you could view your urges to binge as meaningless, powerless, and harmless? Would you still feel compelled to act on them?


One important thing to consider is: If you can view urges as meaningless, powerless, and harmless, they will no longer be urges. The word urge signals intense wanting and feeling strongly compelled to do something. If you view the urge as just junk, then it ceases to be an urge. For simplicity and continuity, you will continue to see the word urge in the worksheets that follow, but you may want to choose a new word to replace urge, to diffuse its power in your mind. How might you refer to your urges to underscore that you will now be viewing them as meaningless, powerless, and harmless? Example: I could call my urges “suggestions.”


20



Sep 1: View Urges o Binge As Neurological Junk To view the urges as neurological junk, there isn’t anything you actively do . You only need to change your perspective so that you can let the urges come and go without feeling compelled to turn attention to them. The following are some tips for changing your perspective when an urge arises: ●

Gently remind yourself that the urge is meaningless, powerless, and harmless junk from the lower brain

●

Don’t try to analyze the urge (that only turns attention toward it and amplifies it)

●

Don’t try to figure out why you are having an urge (the urge is automatic)

●

Don’t argue with the urge (this only makes it stronger)

Exercise C: Use Your Own Insighs o Shif Your Perspecive Below, keep track of anything you learn or experience that helps you view your urges as meaningless, powerless, and harmless neurologica l junk. Your personal insights are extremely important a s you le arn to experience urges in a new way. Insights that help me view the urges as junk

Exa mpl e: If I relax my fac e w hen I’m experiencing a binge urge , it helps the urge fee l more harmless.


*Refer to your insights often as you move forward through Steps 2–5.* 21



Sep 2: Separae he Highes Human Brain rom Urges o Binge You already know that your urges are neurological junk from the lower brain (a result of dieting and/ or habit). Now you need to know that you— y our true self—is completely separate from your urges and fully capable of resisting them. That is what you will focus on in this step. Start by answering these two questions: What are the goals you have for yourself that are inconsistent with your eating disorder?


Do you feel like you freely choose for binge eating to be part of your life? If you could push a button and make the binge urges go away, would you? Why?


In the preparation worksheets, you learned that you have mixed feelings about recovery. Part of you wants to hold on to the habit, but a greater part of you wants to quit. Mixed feelings about recovery are a result of the two brains that are at work in binge eating: your lower and higher brain. You’ve already learned that the part of you that produces the binge urges is the lower brain. Now we’ll be focusing on the higher brain, which is the part of you that wants to quit, and the part that is truly you. Your true self is located in your higher brain (also called your human brain, and, more specifically, your prefrontal cortex, which we can call the highest human brain).7 You have goals for yourself that are inconsistent with the eating disorder, and you want the binge eating and the urges out of your life. 22



Sep 2: Separae he Highes Human Brain rom Urges o Binge You don’t need to become your ideal self to be able to separate your higher brain from your urges. All you need to see is that your urges are not consistent with your true self, and your true self has the power to resist, which is what the next two exercises will help you do.

Exercise D: Describe Your True Sel as Separae rom he Urges Use the following chart to write words or phrases to describe your urges, and also to describe you (your sense of who you are apart from the urges). Your list can include personality traits, hobbies, interests, beliefs, as well as problems and flaws. This is not a good-self vs. bad-self exercise; it’s an attempt to determine how you see yourself without the binge eating. You (who you are apart from urges)

Your urges


*Any flaws you listed above are not the problem, which is what the next exercise will explain.*

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Sep 2: Separae he Highes Human Brain rom Urges o Binge Do not try to analyze what is wrong with you in an attempt to determine why you are binge eating. This is ineffective and time-wasting, because your urges aren’t from you at all.

Exercise E: Sop Blaming Your Flaws and Problems, and Focus on Your Srenghs If you’ve been taught that your flaws and problems are the reasons you binge, this exercise will help you shift your focus. When you realize that your imperfections don’t cause binge eating, it’s much easier to separate yourself from the urges. When you know the urges aren’t a reflection of your negative attributes and experiences, it’s easier to see them as just a function of your lower brain. Write down some of your aws and negative life experiences that you’ve previously blamed for your binge eating.


Everyone has aws and problems. You had problems before you began binge eating and you’ll have problems after you quit. Remind yourself daily not to connect the above problems to your binge eating. In recovering from binge eating, you aren’t brushing aside your aws and negative experiences, but you are going to stop analyzing the darkness. Instead you will focus on the light. This means you will look to your inner strengths. Write down all of your strengths you can focus on and use to your advantage while recovering. In other words, what is right about you that you can clearly see as distinct from the urges?


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Sep 2: Separae he Highes Human Brain rom Urges o Binge Our brains run on auto-pilot much of the time, and produce most of our thoughts beyond our conscious awareness. But you don’t have to accept your thoughts as truth or obey them.

Exercise F: Pracice Being a Compassionate Observer o All o Your Thoughs In any given moment, you (your true self/higher brain) can choose which thoughts to focus on and which thoughts to kindly dismiss. To do this, you need to become a compassionate observer of your thoughts—listening to them with curiosity and without judgment—and realize that you don’t have to identify with the harmful ones. Learning to observe even your non-eating-related thoughts will give you practice for when the harmful binge thoughts arise. The more comfortable you can become with the idea that you are more than your thoughts, the better you will be at separating from the binge urges. To train yourself to become a compassionate observer of your thoughts, keep a running list of any thoughts that feel intrusive and harmful in your life (remember, you aren’t trying to solve all of your other problems right now; you are just practicing observing thoughts).


When you have any of the above thoughts, practice kindly ignoring them. It’s as if you are telling your bra in “no tha nk you,” and moving on with your day. Wh en you do this, you will gain valuable insight for when binge urges arise. Keep track of your insights on the next page.

* Exercise F co ntinued on next pa ge

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Sep 2: Separae he Highes Human Brain rom Urges o Binge Exercise F (con.): Pracice Being a Compassionate Observer o All o Your Thoughs What insights have I gained from being a compassionate observer of my thoughts?


As you get more comfortable with being a compassionate observer of your thoughts, you may notice clues about what thoughts deserve your attention, and which ones you should detach from. Often, an important clue is the pronouns you hear.

Exercise G: Look or Pronouns When Learning o Separae rom he Binge Urges Since the urges aren’t you, they have to talk to you, to plead the case for a binge. So, the voice of the urge will often address you as “ you” or “we.” 8 You may hear “ you should,” or “ you want,” or “we need,” or “let’s get some.” Commonly, the tempting thoughts don’t start with “I,” because the voice of “I” is your true voice. That being said, the primitive brain is resourceful and will attempt to appeal to your reasoning, and it doesn’t always follow this pattern. Remember that you want to separate from any thought that encourages binge eating, regardless of the pronouns. Neverthele ss, it is helpful to notice how t he urges addre ss you, so you can recognize the voice and separate from it. This is what you will write about on the next page.

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Sep 2: Separae he Highes Human Brain rom Urges o Binge Exercise G (con.): Look or Pronouns When Learning o Separae rom he Binge Urges As you observe your binge urges, notice the pronouns you hear in your head. Are the urges addressing you as “you” or “we”? Write down anything you notice about how your urges “talk to” your true self.


An important thing to remember when you are observing the urges is that your primitive/lower brain isn’t the enemy of your higher brain. The lower brain is absolutely vital to your existence. However, when a destructive habit develops, the primitive brain becomes wired in a harmful way. Your goal is not to banish the primitive brain completely; your goal is to simply ignore its faulty messages (the urges to binge) so it can resume its normal function in your life. Keep this in mind as you proceed through the last two exercises of Step 2.

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Sep 2: Separae he Highes Human Brain rom Urges o Binge Once you stop identifying with your urges, you gain the ability to resist them. This is because you — residing in your higher brain—can veto any urge from the primitive brain, and only you have control of your voluntary muscles. The lower brain cannot make you pick up the food.

Exercise H: You Have Power over he Urges The higher brain gives you identity, reason, and, most importantly for binge eating recovery, your selfcontrol functions. There are areas of your life where you use those self-control functions very effectively. There are countless times each day when you are tempted by something inconsistent with your long-term goals, but you don’t give in to that temptation. The self-control functions in the prefrontal cortex (highest human brain) are like a muscle, and focusing on the times when your self-control is working well helps strengthen it even more. As you go through your day, write down all the times when you don’t follow a desire to do something harmful (no matter how insignicant it may seem). Examples: Ignoring a desire to text while driving, ignoring an urge to check Facebook when you should be working.


Write down any insights you have when resisting other desires. What does it feel like? How do you avoid acting? How could your insights help you when you experience binge urges?


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Sep 2: Separae he Highes Human Brain rom Urges o Binge There are certain things you would never consider doing, because of a strong moral conviction or simply because the actions would be absurd or too dangerous. These actions are simply not an option in your mind. When the action is not an option for you, it’s effortless to resist.

Exercise I: View Binge Eaing as “No an Opion” The more you can move binge eating into the category of behaviors you would never dream of performing, the easier it will be to feel separate from the urg es. Complete this sentence: If I ever had an urge to (insert any action that is simply not an option in your mind), I would never act on it.

Now really try to create—in your mind—a desire to do that thing. Try to think of all the benefits of doing it; try to create feelings of wanting. You’ll find that you simply can’t take those feelings seriously. You’ll also see that no thought in your brain can make your body take action. What you’ve just experienced is the feeling of you being separate and more powerful than your harmful thoughts. Your goal is to begin treating binge urges in the same way. When you think about binge eating as “not an option,” how do you feel? (Right now this may create some fear or resistance, and that’s okay.)


The resistance you feel when you view binge eating as not an option is from your lower brain. When you feel this resistance, tell yourself: My lower brain wants to hold on to the habit, but binge eating is not an option for me. I always feel bad afterward, and I do not want to do things that make me feel bad. *Exercise I continued on next page

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Sep 2: Separae he Highes Human Brain rom Urges o Binge Exercise I (con.): View Binge Eaing as “No an Opion” Know that, if it weren’t for the urges, you would naturally view binge eating in the same way that you view the absurd or dangerous action you listed in the beginning of this exercise. Before you developed binge urges, did you ever consider binge eating? Likewise, when your urges go away, would you ever entertain binge eating as an option?


Your urges only temporarily convince you that you want to binge, but yo but you u naturally view binge eating as not an option. No w y ou kn Now know ow yo you u don don’t ’t ha have ve to ide identi ntify fy wit with h you yourr urge u rgess a ny nymor more. e. You are sep separa arate te an and d c ap apab able le of choosing another path. Step 3 on the next page will help you avoid reacting to the urges when they arise.

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Sep 3: Sop Reacing o Urges Urges o Binge The goal of this step is to minimize or eliminate the uncomfortable feelings that the urges create, because those feelings can be what leads you to give in to the urge. To begin Step 3, take a few minutes to think about feelings that your urges elicit in you, and write those feelings here (common feelings are frustration, anxiety, depression, excitement).


Often, you may binge just to make those uncomfortable feelings go away. Without those feelings (or by ref refram raming ing ho how w you thi think nk ab about out tho those se fee feelin lings) gs),, yo you u wil willl be b e bet better ter ab able le to let the urg urges es co come me an and d go without giving them attention. The most common reason for uncomfortable feelings during binge urges is your reaction to the urges. urges.

Exercise J: How Do You Typically Reac o Binge Urges? Take a few minutes to think about how you typically react to your urges (besides giving in). ●

Do you get angry that the urges won’t go away?

●

Do you begin to feel sorry for yourself that you can’t just binge without all the consequences?

●

Do you begin to create plans to binge and get excited?

●

Do you try to analyze why you are having the urge and become frustrated that you can’t find a reason?

●

Do you argue with the urges, making yourself anxious?

Write about some of the ways you react to your urges.


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Sep 3: Sop Reacing o Urges Urges o Binge When you are experiencing an urge to binge, some of your reactions are automatic and come without your conscious control, but some reactions are of your own creation. The next exercise will help you stop the counterproductive reactions. Some counterproductive reactions are: ●

Talking back to the urges

●

Engaging in any mental dialogue with the urge

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Turning attention to the urge

●

Judging the urge instead of simply observing

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Trying to figure out why you are having the urge

Exercise K: How o Sop Reacing o Urges (Deachmen) A good example of non-reaction is thinking about being in a heated argument with someone, and then mentally checking out of the argument. Imagine listening to someone argue a point that you disagree with. At first you are becoming upset, anxiously calculating your responses in your head, and getting angry. angry. What (that you can can control) control) is creating your negative feelings in this example? You You cannot control the other person, so it’ it’ss your own reaction to that person’s words that is creating your negative feelings. No w ima Now i magin ginee that t hat yo you u rea liz lizee the arg argume ument nt is fut futile ile,, so s o yo you u just j ust qu quit it let lettin ting g the pe perso rson’s n’s words affect you. You stop reacting in any way, meaning you stop arguing back, stop thinking of counterarguments in your mind, stop thinking how wrong the person is, and stop getting upset. You may still hear the person’s words, but you are no longer paying attention. When you stop reacting, the experience dramatically chan ges. This is called detachment. Detachment is when yo you u aren’t involved in what you are experiencing. Even though the internal and external factors are still there, you are no longer personally invested.

*Exercise K continued on next page 32



Sep 3: Sop Reacing o Urges o Binge Exercise K (con.): How o Sop Reacing o Urges (Deachmen) Imagine the heated-argument scenario on the previous page, and write about how it feels to detach from the argument. (You can also reect on an actual experience where you have detached from a conict.)


What you’ve described above is how you want to be able to experience your binge urges. Imagine what it would look and feel like to detach from your binge urges and experience them without reacting, and write about that here:


It’s important to remember that you aren’t ignoring all of your inner experience and external circumstances. When you are operating from your rational, human brain, it can be helpful to analyze thoughts and feelings, or even change your circumstances to affect your behavior. It can be good to think constructively about your thoughts and even dispute them. However … When reasoning and analyzing don’t work (as is the case with binge urges), non-reaction is a very effective strategy. In fact, detachment is useful for all reason-resistant, automatic/habitual thoughts.

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Sep 3: Sop Reacing o Urges o Binge Now you are going to think a little d eeper ab out wh at i t me ans to stop re acting to your bi nge urges, and what gives you the capacity to do that.

Exercise L: When I Doesn’ Affec You , You Don’ Reac Complete the following chart with your own examples of reaction and non-reaction in real life. Try to list your examples along with the typical reactions you have, and in the cases of non-reaction, write about why you don’t react. Experiences that cause a reaction

Things you experience with non-reaction

Watching my own kids misbehave (reaction: I get upse t, calculate how to respond, judge my parenting skills)

Watching kids I don’t know misbehave (why I don’t react : they aren’t my responsibility so I don’t pay attention)

Listening to a political debate that I care about deeply (reaction: I judge who is right, I think of how this issue affects me, and feel anger at the other side)

Listening to a politician talk about an issue I care nothing about (why I don’t react: it doesn’t affect me directly or indirectly, so I ignore the debate)


What you will see from the chart above is that the experiences that cause no reaction are the ones that you aren’t personally invested in.

*Exercise L continued on next page

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Step 3: Stop Reacting to Urges to Binge Exercise L (cont.): When It Doesn’t Affect You, You Don’t React You can remain unaffected by binge urges, just like you remain detached from issues that don’t matter to you. This is because your urges truly don’t matter to you . In Step 2, you learned that you are separate from your urges. By treating the urges as something completely apart from your true self, your reactions will naturally cease.

Exercise M: Practice Not Reacting to Binge Thoughts Knowing what non-reaction looks like in other situations is very helpful, but now we need to address the binge urges themselves. In this exercise, your job will be to actively think thoughts that encourage bin ge eating, and feel your a bility to avoid a reaction. You can’t force yourself to have a binge urge (nor would you want to), because a real binge urge arises automatically from the lower brain. This exercise is just to help you realize your thoughts will not cause negative and uncomfortable feelings if you don’t react to them. Write down two thoughts that typically encourage you to binge (Examples: “No one is home tonight, this is your only chance,” “Just this one last time, then you can start over.”)

1.


2.


Now close your eye s a nd think the first thought you wrote … Don’t offer any counterarguments to the thought. Don’t engage in any mental dialogue with it (if other thoughts come up automatically, that’s fne; simply observe them). Notice that when you don’t react, no strong or uncomfortable fe elings surfac e. Repeat this exercise with the second thought. The more you repeat this exercise, the more you will realize this: Just because you hear something in your head, or feel a physical sensation in your body, it doesn’t mean you have to let it affect you.

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Sep 4: Sop Acing on Urges o Binge This step is the cure for binge eating. You have a binge eating habit because you’ve acted on urges many times. The only way to reverse the habit is to stop acting on those urges. In this way, recovery is simplified. Repeatedly following your urges to binge has created strong, organized neural pathways in your lower brain that support your behavior. The only way to weaken those neural pathways is to stop following the urges. When you stop binge eating, the neural connections that supported the destructive behavior will fade, and the urges will go away. Each time you don’t act on an urge, you are actually utilizing neuroplasticity to rewire your brain. 9

In this step, you will use the concepts you’ve learned in Steps 1–3 to resist binge urges. You’ll learn how you best avoid acting on the urges; you’ll keep track of and learn from your successes; and you’ll learn to manage any discomfort you may have with this step.

Exercise N: Avoiding Acing on he Urge Using Inacion, Alernaive Acion, or Sill Observaion To avoid acting on the urges, there is nothing you have to do. When the urges arise, your only goal is to not act on them; however, there are three strategies you can try while you are experiencing an urge: ●

Inaction – Just go about your day as if you were not experiencing an urge to binge. (Exam ple : You are unloading groceries and you begin to feel an urge to binge. You simply continue unloading groceries and then do whatever you had planned next.)

●

Alternative Action – P ick any a lternative a ctivity to perfor m while you are experiencing an urge. It can be the same one each time or you can pick from a variety of activities. (Example: Every time you h ave an urge to binge, go for a short walk or choose from a list of: walk, gardening, art, phone calls, or even less enjoyable things like laundry or dusting.)

●

Still Observation – Sit or lie down, and observe your urges with detachment. (Example: Since this strategy is best used at home, pick your favorite spot to relax.)

*Remember, these strategies are not going to shut off the urge; your job is simply to avoid acting until the urge fades on its own.* Try all three options and write about your experiences on the next page.

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Sep 4: Sop Acing on Urges o Binge Exercise N (con.): Avoiding Acing on he Urge Using Inacion, Alernaive Acion, or Sill Observaion What did it feel like to use Inaction when experiencing an urge to binge? Were you able to avoid acting on your urge? About how long was the urge present?


What did it feel like to use Alternative Action while experiencing an urge to binge? Were you able to avoid acting on your urge? About how long was the urge present?


What did it feel like to use Still Observation to experience an urge to binge? Were you able to avoid acting on your urge? About how long was the urge present?


After you’ve tried all three strategies for experiencing urges, write about which option, or combination of options, you think may be best for you and why. (There is no right or wrong; you are trying to nd what feels most comfortable and is most successful for you.)


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Sep 4: Sop Acing on Urges o Binge Our brains learn better from success than failure, so you are going to keep track of your successes only. Whenever you avoid acting on urges, keep track of it in the table below (table is duplicated on the next four pages), and write about what you learn from resisting. If there are times that you do act on an urge, don’t dwell on it. Come back to this page and read about how you succeeded in the past, so you can move forward with renewed focus on what works. As you focus on your success, you’ll learn what thought processes and insights help you the most, and success will build on itself.

Exercise O: Keeping Track o and Learning rom Your Success Date/time

Urge description (physical sensations, thoughts, feelings)

What I did while the urge was present


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What I learned (insights/what worked)



Sep 4: Sop Acing on Urges o Binge Exercise O (con.): Keeping Track o and Learning rom Your Success Date/time




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40








41








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Sep 4: Sop Acing on Urges o Binge When you change your perspective surrounding urges (view urges as neurological junk and separate yourself from them), resisting urges may be nearly effortless. You may have instant success that snowballs quickly into complete recovery. Alternatively, it may prove to be uncomfortable at rst, and take some time before you can consistently not act on urges. The next two exercises will help if you are nding resisting urges difcult.

Exercise P: Seting he Proper Expecaions (Will No Acing on Urges Be Easy?) Everyone experiences binge eating recovery in a different way. What is extremely simple for one person may be very difficult for another. Setting proper expec tations and being rea listic with yourself is important. You of course want to be hopeful, but if you expect it to be too easy to quit for good, you may be tempted to give in whe n the urges fee l strong. O n the other hand, if you think quitting w ill be too hard, you may be too intimidated to get started or to continue. Take a minute to evaluate your expectations. Do you expect not acting on urges to be easy, extremely difcult, or somewhere in between?


Does your experience resisting urges so far line up with your expectations? Do you nd resisting urges easy, extremely difcult, or somewhere in between?


*Exercise P continued on the next page 43



Sep 4: Sop Acing on Urges o Binge Exercise P (con.): Seting he Proper Expecaions (Will No Acing on Urges Be Easy?) Accept that you may find not acting on urges simple and easy (and that’s great), or you may not find it so easy (and that’s fine too, because you can work through it). In other words … If you don’t nd “not acting” to be easy, it doesn’t mean you are a failure or that this is not the right approach for you. It on ly means you may need more time, information, insights, and practice. It’s important to accept that resisting urges might not always be comfortable. It shouldn’t be pa in ful , but knowing that you may not feel great while binge urges are present goes a long way to help you set the proper expectations.

Exercise Q: Dispelling Discomor If not acting on your urges feels uncomfortable, here are some suggestions: ●

Go back through Steps 1–3 and make sure you understand how to separate yourself from the urges and not react to them. (Often the reason for feeling uncomfortable is that you are still trying to fight the urges.)

●

Realize that any discomfort you feel is a product of the habit and only temporary. (Your lower bra in’s job is to make you feel uncomfortable so you’ll give in.)

The lower brain is good at producing feelings of discomfort, especially when you first quit binge eating and the neural connections supporting the habit are still strong. In fact, often the sole reason you act on urges is to get rid of temporary discomfort. The way to overcome this is to view the discomfort in a new way. To gain a new perspective on discomfort, answer the following questions: What discomfort do you have during a binge urge, when you are not acting on it? Describe in detail what exactly is uncomfortable.


* Exercise Q co ntinued on next pa ge 44



Sep 4: Sop Acing on Urges o Binge Exercise Q (con.): Dispelling Discomor Now write about the discomfort you have after a binge. Describe in detail all of the uncomfortable physical and emotional symptoms you have post binge.


Look at your answers to the two previous questions and ask yourself: Which discomfort would you rather? The temporary discomfort you have while not acting on an urge or the post-binge discomfort? Consider which lasts longer and which is more painful.


The discomfort of an unsatisfied binge craving goes away quickly, but the post-binge discomfort lingers and grows and affects all parts of your life. It’s important to recognize that you do have a choice, but for the vast majority of people, the binge eating causes much more discomfort than any unmet cravings. Remember that discomfort is part of most beneficial changes in life; it only signals that you are growing into the person you want to be. Furthermore … The discomfort you feel when not acting on an urge isn’t your discomfort; it’s the lower brain’s. When you feel uncomfortable not acting on an urge, remind yourself of this: The lower brain prefers comfort (it’s a normal survival mechanism), but its comfort (binge eating) causes you much more discomfort and pain that you aren’t willing to live with anymore.

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Sep 4: Sop Acing on Urges o Binge Exercise Q (con.): Dispelling Discomor Try to disassociate from any uncomfortable feelings you have when not acting on urges, realizing that you are actually much more comfortable resisting urges. Use the space below to write down any insights you have that help you remember that you are on your way to becoming free of an extremely uncomfortable habit, and any discomfort you feel when not acting on urges is just a product of your lower brain.


*Some discomfort while your brain is rewiring itself is normal, but it shouldn’t feel so incredibly difcult that you can’t manage it. If not acting on urges to binge seems too hard, there will be more help and tools for you in the “Troubleshooting” worksheets (pages 58 – 66).*

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Sep 5: Ge Excied (Abou Resising Binge Urges and Recovery Isel) Step 5 is a bonus, and for most people it’s a very natural pro duct of Step 4. When you don’t act on binge urges, you are excited! This excitement isn’t just about feeling good; it actually has a useful neurological function. It speeds along brain changes that erase your binge eating habit. Praise (including praise from within), and excitement for learning something new, cements that learning on a physical level in the brain. In other words … Celebrating a new discovery or skill increases the likelihood that it will be remembered and repeated.10 So in this step, your job is to learn to CELEBRATE your own success!

Exercise R: Celebrae o Srenghen Your Higher Brain Brain functions that are given attention and significance strengthen; therefore, it only makes sense to find ways to focus positive attention on your higher brain’s accomplishments. Congratulating yourself actually serves to strengthen connections in the prefrontal parts of your bra in, and wea ken the old ones that supported your habit. How can you turn attention toward your higher brain’s success in resisting urges? (Examples: Verbally congratulate yourself; reward yourself in non-food ways; announc e it to a trusted friend or mentor.)


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Sep 5: Ge Excied (Abou Resising Binge Urges and Recovery Isel) As you have more and more success resisting binge urges, you’ll notice other things in your life that are worth celebrating as well.

Exercise S: Focus on (and Ge Excied Abou!) Oher Aspecs o Your Lie Without binge eating, you have the wonderful opportunity to do other things. Although doing other things won’t magically take your urges away, focusing attention elsewhere can actually help the faulty bra in pathwa ys cha nge faster. Try to get on with your life as if binge eating is no longer a part of it, and seek other things to focus attention on besides food. Of course your life won’t be perfect and you’ll have problems just like everyone else, but turning your mental energy away from binge eating helps weaken the habit. What is already in your life that you can focus attention on (especially those things you can get excited about)?


Is there anything positive you want to add to your life to focus on, now that you’ll no longer be binge eating (activities, hobbies, volunteer opportunities, personal projects, etc.)?


*Remember, you don’t need to change your life to stop binge eating; the point here is simply that focusing elsewhere helps speed along brain changes so the urges go away more quickly.*

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Sep 5: Ge Excied (Abou Resising Binge Urges and Recovery Isel) In the preparation worksheets, you accepted that you would have mixed feelings about recovery. Prior to quitting binge eating, envisioning the unknown might have been worrisome. You had some reasons you didn’t want to stop binge eating (many of which were actually from the lower brain), but you practiced staying focused on the reasons you do want to recover (pages 7–9). The next exercise is about focusing on the positive aspects of your recovery reality. Everything won’t suddenly be wonderful of course (and it never will be, because that’s life), but you will certainly discover many benefits of being binge-free.

Exercise T: Ge Excied abou he Posiive Aspecs o Your Recovery Reality Bringing the benefits of recovery to the front of your mind, and revisiting them often, can help keep you on the path to complete freedom from binge eating. As you go about each day, take note of the positive results of recovery (below). These results may be what you expected when you envisioned the benets of recovery—or they may completely surprise you.

Positive results of recovery (every time you add something to this list, get excited about it!):


*This is the end of the worksheets for the 5 Steps to Quit Binge Eating. Next, you’ll work on maintaining your progress, and troubleshooting if necessary.*

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Maintaining Your Progress

Mainaining Your Progress Each time you resist an urge, your brain learns, and over time it will become more and more effortless to avoid binge eating. This is because your brain is physically changing to erase your habit. However, it’s not always a linear process, and even as your urges gradually fade, you may have times when you are tempted to follow them. You may even give in to some urges. If this happens, it doesn’t mean you are not making progress. The Maintaining Your P rogress worksheets (pages 50–57) will help you keep moving toward complete freedom from binge eating, and help you stay motivated to recover, especially during the first few weeks, when you may be experiencing frequent and possibly strong urges.

I: “Don’ Ac” Fas You’ve gained a lot of new ideas and insights, which energizes you for change. You now realize you have the power over your urges, and you are excited about a future free of binge eating. The difference between moving forward to complete recovery and sliding back into old patterns often depends on how quickly you act upon these new ideas. In this case, it’s how quickly you put “not acting” on urges into practice. Often, all you have to do is resist one binge urge to see that it works, and success breeds more success and motivation soars. So, don’t wait. Use your new ideas to resist the next urge you experience. Do not fall into the trap of thinking you need to analyze the 5 Steps to Quit Binge Eating further, or sort out something else in your life before you begin. If you’ve come this far, you are ready. You have the capacity in you right now to resist urges. Write about what you will do when you experience your very next binge urge, and commit to not acting on it.


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II. Dismiss Thoughs ha Try o Pull You Back o he Habi As you experience urges with detachment, you are likely to hear some convincing arguments to go back to binge eating. This section will give you some perspective on this.

I’s Jus Your Brain Being Energy Efficien The prefrontal cortex uses more energy than other parts of your brain. The brain is an efficient organ and will try to rely on energy-saving neural pathways (which are our old habits) whenever possible. Know that feeling drawn toward old habits doesn’t mean you are weak or have a “bad” or malicious bra in; it’s simply being economical. Because the prefrontal cortex isn’t necessary for immediate survival, the brain naturally defers to other pathways (especially the automatic ha bits of the lower brain). This is why the brain will keep trying to pull you back to binge eating; that is, until brain changes take root and being binge free is the new normal. Your job is to stay the course, regardless of the messages your lower brain sends. Here, keep track of any thoughts that encourage you to go back to the habit.


When you have the thoughts you wrote above, remind yourself of three things: ●

The appeal of the old habit is FALSE. Your brain is simply being energy efficient.

●

The false appeal of the old habit is only temporary (you won’t always feel you want to binge).

●

If you don’t allow yourself to be swayed by the false appeal of old habits, your brain will change, and those habits will stop being appealing.

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III. Common Temping Thoughs There are three types of thoughts that are common in recovering binge eaters (all of which can hinder pro gre ss if you give the m attention): ●

“Just one last time”

●

“You deserve a break from resisting”

●

“Binge eating wasn’t a big deal anyway”

“Jus one las ime” As you begin resisting urges, the lower brain will often encourage you to binge “just one last time.” If you believe this thought and binge, the lower brain will use the “just one last time” thought again the next time, and the next … indefinitely. To prepare for this, ask yourself: Have you believed your lower brain’s “just one last time” thoughts in the past? Were those promised “last” binges ever truly your last? How many “last” binges have you had?


Anytime you hear “one last time,” you can be sure it’s neurological junk and you need not react to it or act on it.

“You deserve a break rom resising” Although success breeds success; your lower brain may try to use your success to justify a binge. You may hear thoughts telling you that “you’ve done so well that you deserve a break.” You may notice that after a certain number of days binge free, your lower brain starts producing those thoughts, telling you that you’ve done enough resisting for now. Remembe r that what y ou truly deserve is a break from binge eating—forever—and a life completely free from any desire to binge.

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III. Common Temping Thoughs Use this space to write about any insights you have about detaching from “you deserve a break” thoughts:


“Binge eaing wasn’ a big deal anyway” As you resist more urges, you may begin hearing thoughts like these: “Binge eating didn’t really interfere with your life too much,” or “When you compare binge eating to other habits, it’s mild,” or “Quitting isn’t really necessary because binge eating wasn’t a big deal.” Reminding yourself of all the ways it was a big deal isn’t necessary. Just remember to detach from this form of neurological junk and give it no value. Use this space to write about any insights you have about detaching from “binge eating wasn’t a big deal anyway” thoughts:


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IV: Take One Urge a a Time What’s important is that you don’t follow the current urge, not whether you followed the last one or whether you will follow an urge in the future. Some people can get overwhelmed thinking that they’ll have to resist so many urges to decondition the habit, but if you are experiencing the urges with true detachment, you can take each urge as it comes without it exhausting you. Try to experience the urges with such indifference that it wouldn’t matter whether they were pre sent every day f or the rest of your life. Certainly the y won ’t b e, but viewing them as harmless background noise allows the process of deconditioning to be much easier.

You Don’ Need o Coun Binge-Free Days It’s helpful to avoid counting the number of days you’ve been binge free (or at least avoid putting too much emphasis on that number). Set your focus on not following the very next urge, not on how many days you’ve been binge free. An important benefit of not counting binge-free days is: You don’t have to start again at day one if you do binge. That can feel discouraging. Acting on an urge doesn’t mean your habit has control again; it only means you acted on one urge, and quite possibly just failed to detach from one destructive thought. You can learn from it and keep moving forward, resisting the very next urge. You don’t have to start over! How has counting binge-free days affected you in the past? Does your lower brain use that number against you? (For example: “It’s been ten days, you deserve a binge.”) How can you remind yourself to only focus on the current/very next urge?


*If you personally find counting binge-free days helpful and motivating (and not detrimental), then you don’t have to stop.

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V: Accep ha You Won’ Always Feel Happy abou Resising Urges It’s easy in the beginning to be excited about recovery, but motivation can fade for some people over time. This is just the brain trying to be energy efficient and rely on well-worn neural pathways. Yes, it’s important to be excited about your success resisting binge urges, because being excited helps cement learning on a physical level in the brain (see Step 5); however, know that you aren’t always going to feel happy about quitting. When urges are present, you might nd yourself feeling grumpy, annoyed, or even feeling sorry for yourself that you can’t binge. It’s okay to feel that way. Even if you separate from your urges and don’t react to them, strong emotions may still arise. Emotions are generated in the more automatic/primitive brain centers, so you can’t always control them. The negative feelings you have are part of the habit too, and they will eventually pass and give way to pride and excitement that you didn’t act on the urge. To put your unhappy feelings into perspective, ask yourself: Have you ever followed a binge urge and felt happy about it afterward? How can you remember that putting up with some undesirable feelings temporarily (while an urge is present) is better than dealing with the unhappy feelings you will inevitably experience after a binge?


Some temporary grumpiness and even depressing thoughts while the lower brain is reconditioned is much better than the guilt and pain that comes after a binge. When the binge urge passes, you’ll never look back and wish you would have binged; you’ll always be glad you didn’t. Remember, there is no need to try to change your feelings. Your job is simply to remain as unaffected by them a s you can until the urge passes.

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VI: Be Paien as Your Urges Go Away Everyone’s urges will fade at a different rate. Commonly the urges take about three months to one year to go away completely. This doesn’t mean you will be struggling with powerful urges for one year. If you are detached from urges, it will soon become effortless to resist them. Within the first few weeks, urges can decrease significantly in intensity and frequency. Remember that it won’t always be a linear process; as the urges gradually fade, you may have days when the urges seem to temporarily gain strength. But, as the days and weeks go by, what were urges will simply become insignificant thoughts and feelings that pop up from time to time, and you won’t feel compelled to give them any attention. The urge remnants won’t bother you, and in fact they may serve to remind you of your success. You’ll feel proud when you hear that old urge voice and know you aren’t going to listen to it anymore.

Tracking Your Brain Changes (in Your Own Words) Below, you can keep track of the fact that your urges are fading. It can help to see the progress over time, and keep you motivated to know that your brain is changing. Remember, you are simply observing your success, not giving these urges any unnecessary focus. *It’s important not to write in this table too frequently, because of the non-linear nature of brain changes. Recording every 10–15 days would be a good time frame.* Date

Urge frequency

Urge intensity and description

Write here

Chart continued on next page. 56

Other notes about my urges



VI: Be Paien as Your Urges Go Away Tracking Your Brain Changes (in Your Own Words) *It’s important not to write in this table too frequently, because of the non-linear nature of brain changes. Recording every 10–15 days would be a good time frame.* Date

Urge frequency

Urge intensity and description

Other notes about my urges

Write here

Keep track of any insights that help you stay patient as your urges fade:


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Troubleshooting

Troubleshooing What if you’ve learned the 5 Steps to Quit Binge Eating, but you still nd yourself giving into the urges? Even if you understand everything in theory, you may have trouble putting it into pra ctice. The Troubleshooting section addresses four common challenges that you may have.

I: Feeling Like You Truly Want o Binge You may have a hard time viewing your desire to binge as just a product of the lower brain, and instead see it as your own desire.

When Do You Feel This Way? It’s important to loo k at when those feelings of wanting to binge are occurring (just before a binge when an urge is present, or afterward/between binges). Most of the time, you’ll only think you want to binge beforeha nd; a fter a binge you’ll remember tha t you truly don’t want to binge at all. When do you feel like you truly want to binge? Is it only when the urges are present, or is it after and between binges when you’re feeling rational and urge-free?


Usually, it’s the lower brain that is tricking you into believing that you want to binge. The thoughts that tell you binge eating is worth it, and that it is really you that wants to binge, are neurological junk .

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Troubleshooting

I: Feeling Like You Truly Want o Binge If you truly wanted to binge, you would simply do it, enjoy it, and move on without being affected much at all. The fact that you are completing these worksheets means that you are certainly affected and suffer from the behavior. It’s helpful to accept that when urges are present, there will be times when binge eating seems very appealing. You may even feel like binge eating is your true desire, but that feeling will pass.

Give Yoursel Permission o Binge Aer he Urge Passes To diffuse the feeling of desire in the moment, it can help to giv e yourself permission to binge after the urge passes. When you feel like you truly want to binge, tell yourself: “Maybe I do want to binge, but I’m going to wait until the urge passes to decide. If I still feel like I want to binge once my urge subsides, then I will.” (Once the urge passes, you’ll most likely choose no t to.) If you try this, use the space below to write about any insights you gained from the experience. Did you choose to binge after the urge went away, or did you realize you didn’t truly want to binge after all?


If you choose not to binge after urges pass, you can be assured that binge eating isn’t your true desire, so you can skip the next page and move on to the next troubleshooting challenge on page 61. If you do choose to binge even after the feelings and cravings subside, or if you truly believe the desire to binge is your own, then go to the next page.

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Troubleshooting

I: Feeling Like You Truly Want o Binge I Really DO Wan o Binge If the following statement is true, then you likely do not desire recovery right now, and you do actually want to keep binge eating. ●

You do n’t regret your binges. (After a binge, you don’t wish you could go back and make a different choice. You feel it’s worth it to you.)

If this is the case for you, there are three options: 1.) Take a leap and quit even though you don’t want to. It takes courage and strength, and it can feel like a loss, but you will soon realize you are better off without the habit. 2.) Cultivate the desire to quit within yourself. Search for things you enjoy that are incompatible with binge eating; volunteer to help those less fortunate than you; reflect on your life and create goals for the future. 3.) Realize you have free choice . If you decide to continue to binge because you want to, own your choice. Don’t blame your decision on outside influences, a disease, or your other problems. Keep track of ideas for cultivating your desire to quit within yourself:


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Troubleshooting

II. The Urges Feel Too Powerul o Resis No matter how much you wan t to quit, at first there may be times whe n you fee l overwhelmed by the urges. It’s important to accept that sometimes you may feel inferior to the urges. This doesn’t mean you are destined to act on them.

Focus on Wha You Can Conrol During those times when it feels like your urges are too powerful to resist, and you seem to lose the ability to listen as a neutral observer, the best course of action is to focus only on what you can control: your motor movements. Look at your hands, and tell yourself that nothing can make them move to pick up food.11 You may find it helpful to do something else with your hands, just to prove to yourself that you have complete control of your voluntary muscles, regardless of the messages the lower brain is sending. You can’t always control your emotions or your body’s physical reaction to the binge urge, but you can control what you do. Remember that any discomfort is only temporary, and once it passes, you’ll be so glad you rode it out. Keep track of what you learn from focusing on motor movements during powerful binge urges.


Focusing on motor movements can help you get through some urges, but it becomes tiring as a long-term strategy. On the next page, you’ll learn what to do if your urges do not become more manageable over time.

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Troubleshooting

II. The Urges Feel Too Powerul o Resis If you are finding it extremely difficult to resist urges, it is usually because of one or more of the following three problems.

Problem 1: You are No Eaing Enough/Sill Dieing Resricively If you are not eating sufficiently, you’ll keep your body and brain in “survival” mode. Urges that arise because of food deprivation are much harder to detac h f rom than urges that arise due to habit. Furthermore, dieting compromises the prefrontal cortex. On page 51, you learned that the brain is energy efficient and will usually try to default to survival/habitual reactions. Since the prefrontal cortex isn’t necessary for immediate survival, energy is deferred away from it when food is scarce.12 The primitive brain, which is in charge of keeping you alive, stays in high gear. Eating an adequate quantity of food (good-quality food can be helpful, too) ensures that you will have a proper functioning prefrontal cortex, capable of resisting urges. Do you think restrictive eating might be a problem for you? If so, how can you add nourishment to your meals and snacks? What might you need to do to avoid calorie-restrictive dieting?


This workbook deals primarily with resisting the binge urges, not learning to eat normally or maintain an ideal weight. It is vital that you nourish your body, so please seek nutritional guidance if this is a problem for you. If you are worried about losing weight, know that calorie restriction is not an effective weight-loss strategy; it only slows metabolism and leads to stronger food cravings and more overeating.

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Troubleshooting

II. The Urges Feel Too Powerul o Resis Problem 2: You Have No Ye Truly Deached From Your Urges The thoughts that say: “The urges are too powerful” are neurological junk as well. Yes, there may be some uncomfortable symptoms as your habit is deconditioned, but it’s nothing you can’t manage. Your lower brain is conditioned to react as if binges are vital and necessary for your survival, but you know better than it does about what is best for you. Do you think lack of true detachment is a problem for you? If so, what do you think may help you detach from urges in the future?


Problem 3: Your Preronal Corex Needs a Workou (and Some Res) 13 Sometimes when temptation strikes, the lower brain takes over so quickly that it’s hard for some people to recognize it until after they’ve acted. In this case, you need to work on remaining present during urges—to stay in the gear of the higher brain and avoid switching into unconscious action. To do this, it can help to exercise the self-control muscle (the prefrontal cortex) during times when you aren’t having urges. There are many ways to exercise the prefrontal cortex: meditation exercises, yoga, avoiding other impulses like urges to check your phone/email, avoiding impulses to procrastinate, or detaching from other harmful thoughts. Like any muscle, the prefrontal cortex needs rest as well. Sleep deprivation drains it of energy, and so does overworking. You don’t need to take a vacation, but if you are having trouble resisting urges, try getting a little more sleep or taking a short break from work each day.

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Troubleshooting

II. The Urges Feel Too Powerul o Resis Problem 3: Your Preronal Corex Needs a Workou (and Some Res) Some ideas for exercising (and resting) my prefrontal cortex that I want to try:


As your prefrontal cortex is activated and also rejuvenated, you will become more self-aware, and be able to recognize the urges before they overpower you.

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Troubleshooting

III: Fearing Quiting You may feel that you truly want to quit, but you are scared of recovery. You may have anxiety over what you will be like without the eating disorder. This worksheet and the next will help you overcome that. The most important thing to remember is that “scared” is just a feeling and doesn’t have to affect how you act.

Recall Oher Times You’ve Aced in Spie o Fear There have been other times in your life when you’ve taken action despite being afraid, and it can help to reflect on that. Have you ever been scared of something, but done it anyway? What did you learn from that experience that could help you overcome your fear of recovery?


Remember Tha Some Fear is Normal Fear is not a unique problem that prevent s recovery. Whether you fear what life will be like afterward, fear failure, fear the unknown, fear giving up the pleasure, or fear weight loss/gain, these are feelings that can be faced. You don’t need to “fight the fear,” but instead, you can begin viewing fear as just another faulty bra in message and detac hing f rom it.

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Troubleshooting

III: Fearing Quiting What fearful thoughts can I treat as neurological junk and gently dismiss?


Realize Tha Coninuing o Binge is Much More Frighening The fear you’ll deal with when trying to quit is typically much easier to handle than your fear of continuing to binge. You know how much binge eating has taken from you, you know the dangerous health effects you may face, and you know there isn’t much hope for the future if you keep it up. If you think about your life and what you want it to be, what do you fear more, quitting binge eating or continuing to binge? Why?


The lower brain sends messages telling you that life without binge eating will be a scary thing, but you know that a life spent binge eating is a much greater thing to fear.

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Final Thoughs I hope this workbook has helped you learn to resist your binge urges, and set you on a path to freedom from all disordered eating. No two people approach recovery in exactly the same way, so trust yourself to apply the ideas from this workbook in a way that works for you. Even on days that seem difficult, keep moving forward— resisting binge urges and eating adequately, using the methods that best help you. If you stay focused only on those two necessary goals, you can achieve recovery sooner than you ever thought possible. Use this last page to write your own ideas about what will best help you overcome binge eating completely. What ideas from this workbook help me the most? How will I apply them in my life?


What are some of my own ideas that I believe will help me move forward in recovery?


*For more information about Kathryn Hansen or Brain over Binge , please visit www.brainoverbinge.com.

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Acknowledgemens I’d like to thank the women and men who took the time to contact me with comments and questions after reading my book, Brain o ver Binge. Your ideas and insights helped shape this workbook, and your courage continues to inspire me. I also want to thank Cookie Rosenblum of Real Weight Loss for Real Wome n who encouraged me to create these worksheets, and provided valuable feedback during the writing process.

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BoB Workbook

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