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Reading great books in the original should be the culmination of language study, but reading Japanese literature unassisted is a daunting task that can defeat even the most able of students.…Full description
free to contact us personally, we would feel honored and happy to answer them as best as we can do by putting Mark’s more than 20 years of experience in training, hypnosis, and NLP to use. To be crystal clear: the authors, contributors, distributors, and publishers of this e-book disclaim any responsibility for how you chose to use this material. Do you get that? It’s on you. Don’t go out do something tasteless, classless, and illegal, and then claim the book made you do it. At the very least, you’ll get slapped, at most you’ll find yourself in for a nice stay at Sunnyside Farm for the Emotionally Challenged Citizen or you’ll share a cellblock with a heavily tattooed guy named Sweetie. It’s always your responsibility to make sure that the actions you take with women are legal and consensual.
Table of Contents DISCLAIMER........................................................................................................2 A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR ............................................................................8 WELCOME!........................................................................................................13 THE VERY FIRST STEP...........................................................................................13 THE EARLY LESSONS ..................................................................................................15
CREATING AN OPEN SPACE...........................................................................23 OLD THINKING #1: YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD LOOKING TO DATE W OMEN .........................23 OLD THINKING #2: YOU NEED LOTS OF MONEY IN ORDER TO SEDUCE WOMEN .................24 OLD THINKING #3: GOOD LOOKING W OMEN W ILL WANT NOTHING TO DO W ITH YOU ......24 OLD THINKING #4: IF YOU ARE NICE, SENSITIVE, AND SHOW YOUR EMOTIONS, W OMEN WILL W ANT YOU. ........................................................................................................25 OLD THINKING #5: SOLVE HER PROBLEMS AND SHE’LL SLEEP WITH YOU ......................26 OLD THINKING #6: THERE ARE A LIMITED NUMBER OF WOMEN AVAILABLE AND MOST OF THEM ARE BUSY. .........................................................................................................26
OLD THINKING #7: GETTING A HOT WOMAN TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU IS TOO TIME CONSUMING. ...............................................................................................................27
OLD THINKING #8: IF YOU WAIT LONG ENOUGH, THE COURAGE WILL COME TO APPROACH WOMEN.
OLD THINKING #9: W OMEN KNOW WHAT THEY WANT, AND THEY WILL TELL YOU. .............28 OLD THINKING #10 – DATING IS FAIR, AND YOU WILL GET YOUR TURN ............................29
THE TRUTH ABOUT SEDUCING WOMEN.......................................................31 ALL W OMEN W ANT TO BE SEDUCED ............................................................................31 WOMEN YEARN FOR ROMANCE ...................................................................................32 A MARRIED MAN MIGHT STAND A BETTER CHANCE AT SEDUCING A W OMAN .................33 WHAT CAN YOU LEARN FROM THIS?............................................................................34
THE GAME OF SEDUCTION .............................................................................35 THE LOOK OF SEDUCTION ...........................................................................................35
THE FEEL OF SEDUCTION ............................................................................................37 THE W AY A W OMAN HEARS SEDUCTION .......................................................................38 THE SEDUCTION ROADMAP: INWARD TO OUTWARD .......................................................40
THE POWER OF SCENTS AND ENERGY........................................................46 HOW A W OMAN W ORKS ..............................................................................................48 RAS-RETICULAR ACTIVATING SYSTEM .........................................................................51
BELIEF SYSTEM AND PERCEPTION ..............................................................53 SMART VS. LUCKY .......................................................................................................54 SHE W ANTS W HAT ONLY YOU CAN GIVE HER ..............................................................56 THE POWER OF BEING YOURSELF ................................................................................58 AND HE’LL HAVE FUN, FUN, FUN! ................................................................................59 A TRUE STORY ...........................................................................................................61 THE EXTERNAL POWER ...............................................................................................62 THE EXTERNAL DRAWBACK .........................................................................................65 HOW TO TRAIN A FLEA................................................................................................67
TAKING DOWN THE WALLS ............................................................................71 FEAR OF SEXUAL DISCLOSURE ....................................................................................71 DIRTY YOUNG MEN .....................................................................................................72 THE POWER OF ADJUSTMENT AND ACCEPTANCE ..........................................................75 THE POWER OF HAPPY ................................................................................................76 GROUNDHOG DAY .......................................................................................................76 REWRITE YOUR MOVIE ................................................................................................78
FEAR AND HESITATION...................................................................................79 STARS AND GODS .......................................................................................................79 WHEN REALITY SMASHES INTO YOUR ILLUSIONS ..........................................................82 ...................................................................................87 ........................................................................................90 ..............................................................................................92 .....................................................................94
GOLD PANNING TECHNIQUE.........................................................................................96 .............................................................................................................101 ........................104 USING SAMENESS TO GET RID OF THE ELEPHANT .......................................................107 USING DIFFERENCES TO GET RID OF THE ELEPHANT ..................................................110 ...........................................................................114
DICHOTOMY OF WIN AND LOSE...................................................................116 THE NATURE OF SECOND GUESSING..........................................................................116 AN EMPOWERING EXAMPLE .......................................................................................119 MILLIONAIRES AND MASTER SEDUCERS AREN’T AFRAID TO BURN BRIDGES ..................121 GETTING W HAT YOU W ANT FROM THE GET GO ..........................................................122 THE GAME OF SEDUCTION – ARE YOU “ALL IN”?.........................................................124 BECOME A LASER BEAM INSTEAD OF A LIGHT BULB .....................................................128 DEFINING THE PERFECT WOMAN................................................................................131
THE FANTASY OF A WOMAN’S MIND ..........................................................135 THE REALITY OF DON JUAN .......................................................................................135 YOUR “CHARACTER” IN HER FANTASY ........................................................................136 LET THEM TRY ON YOUR ROLE!.................................................................................140 USE THE ENERGY OF CONTRAST ...............................................................................142 CHANGING YOUR CHARACTER AND W HY YOU’D W ANT TO...........................................145 WORDS OF LOVE GET YOU LAID! ...............................................................................147
AND LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST ..................................................................149 SOAP OPERAS ..........................................................................................................149 MEN SAY AND W OMEN IMPLY.....................................................................................153 .....................................................158 ..........................................................................................160 TIME FACTOR ...........................................................................................................163 INTERACTION OF SEDUCTION .....................................................................................164 ESSENCE OF THE MOVIE “SWEPT AWAY” ....................................................................166
I have been doing hypnosis for so long, I have a tendency to speak in process language and form - a lot. Process language is language at a deep unconscious level and is very hypnotic. This may sound a bit confusing at first, but don’t let that worry you. It isn’t nearly as difficult as it sounds. I’m explaining this up front so that with time and practice, you will begin to see that the techniques I teach you to become a master seducer, the techniques that crack the code, are actually hypnotic techniques. This doesn’t mean that you will be waving a watch in front of women and saying, “You are getting sleepy.” But it does mean that you will have some of the skills necessary to break down the defenses of women and have them begging to be by your side. The difference between content language and process language is the difference between the instructions for baking a cake and the ingredients in a cake. The ingredients in a cake would be considered content language. The instructions for baking the cake would be process language. The unconscious mind – the part that is working without our control - is much more adept at process language - how things work, how things go together, how things flow, and pattern recognition. So when I talk to people in process language, many times people say to me, "What you said was crystal clear, but I didn’t understand a word you just said.” What they're telling me is that their unconscious mind picked up the information just fine, but they're conscious mind has not yet grasped the information.
cake into the bowl and expecting them to mix themselves and put themselves into the oven until done. It's not going to happen. Let me give you another analogy. Imagine a time before people understood radio waves. But you not only had the information, you had the equipment to send and receive radio signals. Kind of like a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's court. You would be considered a magician. We'll just imagine that women have no idea about this level of communication. And if they don't have any idea about what you're doing, then they have not developed any defenses over the years to put up against what you're doing. So process information slips right through. It's like finding a backdoor in a computer program that lets you in without the access code. By using this information in the Seduction Code you will be able to get into both the front door and the backdoor simultaneously. Another analogy: One of my teachers, who I believe is enlightened, has been doing this to me for years. Many times I get that ah-ha experience and then all of a sudden, I remember that he told me this awhile back, and I find my mind processing automatically the useful tools that he gave me. It is like they were hidden files waiting to be used. They just needed the right process to be used. Imagine women having many hidden files. All you have to do is find the right process so you can have access to all of them! When I do therapy with people, I explain to them that it is like an engineer who is trying to build an aqueduct, and trying to get the water to the city that needs it. He
must first plan the routing system and then build the system before he releases the water from the dam. Otherwise the water will flow wherever it flows. What we’re doing is creating channeled viaducts to let the water flow where we want it to flow after we open up the dam. We understand the dynamics of water so we can build according to how water acts and flows. What I am attempting to do is to build the systems at a deep level so when a guy gets into a pinch with a lady, he has some already-installed overflow ducts ready. I want to give him many options. These processes are not just for seducing; they are for making better human beings, and may even open some higher doors for them. If you understand behavior you can prepare for that behavior. If you know someone is going to act a certain way almost every time, it gives you an advantage to prepare yourself for what to say or do. So if we know that men and women's biology are hardwired a certain way, we can begin to plan a journey for them. Just consider yourself a tour guide for women. And if you’re a tour guide, you already know the territory. Your job is to make the journey fun and exciting for them so they will want to come back over and over again.
You are about to embark on an adventure and like a captain leading his men off to unknown waters gives a speech, we’re going to start off with a poem. OK, it doesn’t sound like the same thing, but this poem is by Colin Fisher and he is a friend of Mark’s as well as a master seducer with no problems with women and sometimes you take your advice in whatever form you can get it.
A connection that was made. Before she even knew. She’s feeling those wonderful feelings. And it’s all because of you. The depth that you have traveled to. Can surprise the most beautiful women. It cuts through the intellectual too. It’s almost like a state of Zen. So make sure you appreciate, What it is that you’ve got. Be ready to quantumly change you. Be willing to shift your lot. Ready to acknowledge, this added extra pep. The secret is in the doing, as always in THE VERY FIRST STEP Copyright Colin Fisher November 2003
There’s also another friend you’ll be hearing from throughout the book. Teri is a researcher, editor, and writer lending a hand with this project. She unabashedly admits to thinking men are the greatest creatures God ever made. We don’t always agree philosophically, but at the end of the day, we both want the same thing: for men to be men and women to love them. We’ve asked her to make comments from time to time, just to affirm, or contradict something we’ve said.
spending money for shopping sprees that would turn Rodeo Drive into a strip mall, but most women aren’t looking for that. Most women have basic needs that go to the very core of their being. They often try and fight it by spouting feminists’ terms, but deep down inside a woman wants a man to be a man. Give her that and she will inscribe your name on her heart forever. If you’re familiar with Maslow’s needs hierarchy, then you know food, shelter, and clothing are the primal needs of every human being – including women. The next need for both men and women is sex. Humans crave closeness and intimacy and sex is one of the ways to achieve it. We’re going to show you to convince her you’re the man to give it to her.
All we’re asking is that you try these new behaviors and ideas, wear them for a few days, and then determine if you want to keep them or not. There’s a wardrobe to be mixed and matched, and you could come up with a combination that’s news to all of us, and you could learn something you could teach us! We going to repeat this again since repetition is key to learning: You cannot determine if it will work before you work it. You can’t tell if what we’re saying to you is valid based upon your old thinking and your old fears. You have to step out of the comfort zone and try them in order to determine how useful or relevant it is for you. Don’t dismiss it out of hand - that’s your past talking and your past hasn’t done much for you lately. Create an open space in yourself that’s willing to unlearn all you thought you knew and replace it with a new challenge. Don’t let old disempowering beliefs ground you before you have a chance to take off. We’re making the assumption you know where to find women, and can even approach them. We are also assuming that it is too fearful for you to really go for it and that in all likelihood, your technique may need some reworking. Once you know where to find them and see someone you think fits the description of “the perfect woman”, you have to know how to approach a woman. You have to be able to assess the situation to see how long you have to put your plan into action. Generally speaking, you don’t have many options: 1. You have days or weeks to seduce her 2. You have a few hours to seduce her 3. You have a few minutes to seduce her.
A master seducer knows how to take advantage of a few minutes as well as a few weeks. For some men, it takes more guts to ask a woman out after two minutes than one you’ve been eyeing for two months. For other men, it may be the other way around. Having more than 20 years experience behind me, I can safely tell you to start your seduction process very quickly, within the first few minutes of your first encounter, or you are bound to find the process more difficult in the future. There may be more than one reason why you should start your process immediately: •
To keep you from freezing
To keep from reverting back to your old ways
To sharpen and hone your skills
But there’s one primary reason for starting the seduction process right away and making sure your intentions are clear from the very beginning: Because she will decide very quickly whether you’re a potential lover, a potential friend, or a potential nothing to her at all. And when we say quickly, we mean within the first few minutes – like less than five. It’s like an employer looking over resumes - you have to have a hook right at the very beginning or they will gloss over your resume in search of the one that hits them right away. Women are no different and you are interviewing to be her lover. It may be for long term employment, it may be a temp gig, but she’s got to see the potential in you right away or she will decide for herself what category you belong in. And if
she decides to place you in the friends category, it’s almost a lock you’ll be sentenced there forever with little chance of parole. You must enter into any interaction with a woman you are attracted to as a master seducer. If you enter her mind and emotions as a friend in the beginning, it is extremely difficult to cross back over to lover. So, start off on the right foot, and save yourself some future disappointments. Start immediately as a master seducer. Make it a part of who you are. Both woman and men respect a person confident in their abilities. And you will find that men begin to treat you better because of how you generate interest from women, and your confidence with them. This is why it is important to get your game plan going right away. We do, however, understand how frightening this can be, especially if you aren’t used to talking to women or approaching them. Luckily for you, we are here to teach you! We are here to give you the foundation you can stand on that makes speaking to women easier and more productive all at the same time. And once you make talking to women easier, it becomes easier for you to put your plan into action. We know there’s a glut of information out there. We’ve seen the hardcopy books, the ezines, and the ebooks that tell you how to land women and get laid. And we know that some of those books are filled with just enough information and useful techniques to get you to spend money, but not enough to really make it real. We have filtered through all that information and the stuff that bears repeating is here. AND you get all the stuff the other books don’t tell you. We bring you information and knowledge on how to apply the principles of NLP, hypnosis, and self-treatment.
How to interpret women’s behavior and use that knowledge to your advantage.
How to develop a better self image which is a self-fulfilling prophesy in the dating arena.
After reading this book, and putting the techniques in action, you will be able to approach a woman, make her smile, and gain and sustain her interest. You will be such good company that she won’t want you to leave her. Keep it up and she’ll think it was her idea to want you – because it will be. Not only that, she’ll want to be intimate with you! Isn’t that scary? Isn’t it wonderful? Isn’t it about time to learn? Let’s get started and congratulations in advance!
Previously we stated you needed to be willing to create an open space in your mind and that was best accomplished by dismissing some of the myths about women and dating commonly held as the truth. It’s gotten to be a habit among men to believe certain things about women and how to get them to date us. We pass this information on to each other, affirm our own fears, and hold them as the truth. The only way to change a habit is to take one behavior or belief and replace it with another one we can use until we believe it as easily as we believed what we thought was true before. We would like to help you get rid of some of the most common beliefs regarding women and dating and give you the reasons why you should replace that old thinking with new thoughts.
we are, who are with beautiful women. We’ve all seen men with a beautiful woman and we can’t even imagine what she’s doing with him. We’ve come to the conclusion that attractiveness for women means something different than it does for men, and that’s good news for us. It’s not your hair, or how big your…feet are; your best feature is confidence.
Old Thinking #2: You need lots of money in order to seduce women New Thinking: We shouldn’t even have to talk about this. You’ve seen hot women with the mailman, the guy at the hardware store, and with people you work with. They don’t make a great deal of money. Are there women who want men with lots of money and have that as a criterion for whom they’ll date? Yes. We call them gold diggers and we don’t want them anyway. But for the rest of us who make average bank, we can still get beautiful women because that’s not what most of them are after. Sure, they want us to pick up the tab, but admit it; we want to pick it up most of the time because it makes us feel like a man. That doesn’t mean you have to go the expensive restaurants or get courtside seats. It may mean you have to be creative, but creative will get you points. We guarantee there are some minimum wage guys with maximum sex lives.
fulfilled, they are going to look for the best person to fulfill them. Since they are not as visual as men, they may appreciate a man’s physical beauty, but he better bring something else to the table if he wants to take a seat. This is where a guy who isn’t at the top of the handsome chain can make his move. She will appreciate the confidence of a man willing to approach her and make it clear he can deliver to her needs. She’s not likely to throw that guy in the friendship category during those first few critical minutes. If she is a woman all the guys in the room consider hot, you know there will be men there who will look at her but don’t touch because they buy into the myth that she won’t go for them. That leaves room for you and your approach.
Old Thinking #4: If You Are Nice, Sensitive, and Show Your Emotions, Women Will Want You. New Thinking: This is tricky because it’s more of a half myth. Women do want someone nice – they don’t want someone wimpy. They do want someone sensitive – they don’t want who is so sensitive they’re scary. They want someone emotional, but no more emotional than they are. They want somebody kind, but not somebody who reminds them first of a friend. If the encounter becomes a relationship, and the relationship becomes a commitment, you can add being a friend later on. At the beginning, you don’t want her to see you as a friend. You want her to see you as a potential lover. This means your approach should be ‘friendly’ but not friendship. That doesn’t mean you walk up to her and say: “I’d like to do you right now.” It means your approach and your demeanor should let her know you’re not just making idle talk and looking for someone to hang out with.
Old Thinking #5: Solve Her Problems and She’ll Sleep With You New Thinking: Try this and women will punish you in more ways than one; the first being she won’t sleep with you. The second is, she will stick you hard into the friendship category and will actually call you for advice about the guy she is sleeping with who does her wrong. Third, eventually, you will be direct and tell her you want to be her lover and she’ll tell you that would akin to doing her brother. Women already have outlets for that kind of stuff; they’re called other women or girlfriends. Let them be therapists for each other - at least at this juncture. Like we said, you can add that part later. It will still be a tricky situation because women don’t like it when they tell you something and you tell them how to handle it. At this point, that’s not the drama and tension you want to create. Best leave girlfriend behavior to girlfriends.
about your approach that needs to be changed so they will feel like being more accessible to you.
Old Thinking #7: Getting a hot woman to have sex with you is too time consuming. New Thinking: As opposed to the woman just sitting around with nothing to do? Who are you kidding? It’s work no matter which way you go – but it’s work that’s worth it when you consider you’re getting the sex you want. This is a complaint made by guys who haven’t used their time wisely in learning how to seduce women or maintain a woman’s attention and thus aren’t as successful as they’d like to be. It’s time to stop whining and using tired excuses instead of reaching higher. After you’ve applied what you’ll learn here, you won’t even recognize that old complainer you used to be.
Old Thinking #8: If you wait long enough, the courage will come to approach women. New Thinking: And if you click your heels three times, the man behind the curtain will help you find that courage. Courage is a verb. It needs action to make itself work. You find it along the way when you’re headed to doing something that isn’t the most comfortable thing for you to do. While you’re waiting for the courage to magically appear, there’s someone out there making the moves on your girl, and she won’t know she’s supposed to turn him down, because you haven’t given her the option. Step up to the plate, dude.
Old Thinking #9: Women know what they want, and they will tell you. New Thinking: No, they won’t - at least not directly - at least not at first. Women communicate differently than men and a lot of that has to do with wanting you to learn how to read their minds and know instinctively what it is they need. Well, unless you’re a mind reader, and you aren’t or else you wouldn’t need this book, or unless you’re really good at reading a woman, and you will be after reading this book, you need a woman to be more forthright than she’ll probably be. The truth is, women don’t always know what they want because they have their own unique fears and hang-ups, and then they have their individual ones and both sets collide to keep a brother from taking a quick path to their bedrooms. Guys, believe me - nobody wants someone who is oblivious to their (biological) needs - especially a woman. They want someone very special, with the qualities they’ve spent a good deal of time fantasizing about, and who has the qualities that can meet their deepest sexual needs. Most women are not attracted to supplicants, begging for the easy keys to melt their heart. It’s your independent nature and courage that gets them going, not your dependency on being told how to act. What women say they want and what they actually respond to are often totally different. Women can’t tell you what they want in a man; they can only tell you what they think they want in a man. There is a big difference. If you want to be successful in this game, then take initiative to break the barrier.
Teri Tells: I know, it’s amazing I’ve stayed quiet this long, but this is the first thing I take true issue with. What I say I want is exactly what I want. If it seems like she’s changing her mind, you’ve probably fulfilled some of what she wants and she’s seeing if you’ve got the rest, or she’s discovered something you have that she didn’t think you did. If all you want is sex and only sex, don’t get frustrated at us because we’re not one-dimensional. We know what you want, but you’re going to have to show us something saying you’re worth giving it to.
But my buddy said Frank keeps trying with his wife, but she keeps calling him a pervert and saying “Not now”. My buddy said Frank is a great guy and believes he should follow the rules of the game he started with. That’s the kind of result I hear ALL the time in my therapy business and at a lot of the trade shows I do where men are the primary customers. Their situations may not be as severe as Frank’s, but it sure feels the same to any man to get treated that way. I offered free therapy to Frank. Lets see if I can get him “some” before the poor guy dies. Dating is a game. It’s a competition and an arena that can be navigated with success by those willing to get into it and mix it up. One year from now you will either be better, the same, or worse off than you are right now. If you’re going to be here anyway, why not be here with a woman who finds you attractive and wants to sleep with you?
Teri Tells: I’ve offered to fly out to wherever Frank is and let him go crazy with me. He’s a bit older than me, but I figure he’d be so grateful it would be worth my while.
Here’s the funny thing about the universe: it was built so men and women would say yes to each other. Think about it a second. We all have base, animal instincts and animals mate using their own rituals, but they mate. They may preen and prance, and shake some feathers, but the bottom line is they end up locked together. They say yes to what their natures call them to do. Man is the only animal that places layers over our basic instincts and makes it a frustrating game built with rights and wrongs, and moral codes. That doesn’t mean we should all shed our clothes and go after each other like banshees – though that might have some merit, but we’ve gotten ourselves wrapped into our own rules so that the meaning of being a man or being a woman has moved far away from what it meant when we were first created. We want to teach you to get through those layers and back to the basics. That starts with understanding that, deep down, a woman is searching for a way to say yes to you. We understand you’ve run into a group of women who are adept at saying no, but we believe we can change that around. We believe:
you give her a chance to experience the proper kind of seduction her body and mind really desire. You give her a chance to compete in a game she wants to lose. Not a game that is given to her on a silver platter by a wimp. What fun is it to go out and play and be given the trophy before you get to the playing field? There is no fun in that for women. No, friend, this is a game women want to play. They want a man who knows how to play it with her in a way that brings out the seductress in her. You have heard it said many times by women, “We want a CHALLENGE.” They want you to compete for their virtue. We will show you how throughout this book.
Women Yearn For Romance It’s part of the ritual that helps them get back to the basics. For all the outcry of equal rights (and there should be) and women who can take care of themselves (and they should), romance novels sell billions of dollars in revenue every year. Whatever else they yearn for; they yearn for romance. There are male animals who have to display for females in order to gain their attention. Wild peacocks, for example, only show that magnificent display of feathers when they want to mate. They use their gifts to try and convince a peahen to mate with him. There are gifts you can give a woman that will lead her to thinking she could do worse than be with you: •
Show up on time
Open the door
Be obvious but not leering when you check out her body
When you’re out, don’t be obvious when you check out other women
Don’t be rude to the wait staff
Make sure you shower before hand.
Do just those few things and you would have smoked half your competition.
A Married Man Might Stand A Better Chance at Seducing a Woman We all know of men who have their flings on the side and a wife at home. A married man doesn’t have to go through the same rituals as a single guy. He already has a woman at home so he doesn’t have anything to prove. That means he can be out on the prowl and can take or leave women as they come along. If he’s a master communicator as well as a master seducer, he can use his married state to either make a women feel sorry for him and thus ignite her need to nurture and fix, or he can use it to make it a challenge and ignite her need to compete. Either way, he can focus more on the objective of the game. A married man looking for women who knows how to get them is lethal. Don’t believe us? We have two words for you: Bill Clinton.
Teri Tells: I want to make it clear. We aren’t telling married men to do this. What we’re telling you single guys out there is that you can change your focus from yourself to what you’re after and you’ve moved a step ahead towards getting what you want.
What Can You Learn From This? One of the key things you’re going to learn is that you have a right to exist and a right to exist with a healthy sex life. You have to exude that right when dealing with the opposite sex. Walk like a man with confidence, and that’s what they’ll see. Act like a man’s who’s desperate or one who drools all over himself, and they’ll see that, too. If deep down inside you know you’re a man of humor, confidence, and attractiveness, allow those feelings to guide you inch by inch until you’re living who you are.
Men and women are wired differently. Thank God for that. But because of that, we have to learn how to navigate the waters of the other side; just as women have to learn how to steer through our stuff. It isn’t always easy; it isn’t always clear, but the good news is that though men and women view it differently – we both have the same goal that ends in the bedroom.
and soul—whatever you do, determine to present yourself in the best possible way. Men, do your best to look nice. There isn't a person alive who doesn't appreciate a lover who works hard to be attractive and inviting. If it means losing some weight, getting some new clothes, or even changing the brand of deodorant you use, do it. In simpler words, the person you want to seduce will need to "see" you as being desirable. Nothing less and nothing more! Next point is that seduction is appealing. Yes? Yes, of course. Let’s see how. The dance between the sexes is a wonderful thing when it comes to the subject of seduction. Making ourselves alluring and attractive to the one we desire is both fun and exciting. If that were not so, then there would not be as much need for glamorous lingerie shops, hairdressers, rows, and rows of cosmetic shelves in department stores, stores that sell sexy clothing, and hundreds of fragrances from name brand manufacturers. Women know how to be alluring. That’s one of the reasons they can be so frightening. The trouble they go through with the hair, and the makeup, and the clothes to make themselves look so good is intimidating to men who don’t have to bother with the ritual. Can that woman who is so good looking be real? Yes, with the help of Max Factor and Estee Lauder, but we don’t think of that at the time. We just see a stack of gorgeous woman and we freak.
The Feel of Seduction Seduction is romantic, and romance is all about feel - both the inner and outer feelings. The number one feeling a woman must have towards you is safety. If she’s looking for a short-term relationship, she needs to feel safe that you won’t turn into a stalker when the end of the term comes. If she’s looking for a longterm relationship, she needs to feel safe that you won’t do anything to harm her heart. If she’s looking for sex, she needs to feel safe enough to allow her body to do what it needs to do in order to gain satisfaction. Even if what she wants to do is take you for everything you have and empty your bank account and your personal wealth of confidence, she needs to feel safe enough to get away with it. That safety can take many different forms and is probably more of a collage of requirements than just one specific one. But there are things you can do that, like a well placed bowling ball can knock a few of them down in one throw. Getting someone to feel romantic towards you means doing those little things "in between.” It’s really great that you can last for hours in the bed, but it’s those hours when you’re vertical that can make the horizontal hours more fulfilling for her. Romance is the fine art of genuinely treating the object of your interest with an attitude that arouses the desire in her – creating a want to be with you
What are some of the ways to arouse those feelings?
Calling when you say you will. Touching her in a way that’s a secret between the two of you. Kissing her gently instead of always snaking your tongue down her throat. One of my friends and a master seducer shared how he seduced his new girl the first time while sharing a meal together. We won't be too descriptive here but to say only that he did certain things with food items while he was eating them in a way that she definitely got the point. He said that he had a wonderful time doing it and they look back and laugh about it now. He ate his meal very slowly and deliberately and then delayed eating the last little bite for about 10 minutes. Both the waitress and the woman were waiting in anticipation for him to finish, and he would just smile at them saying he was enjoying the anticipation of the last bite. He was sending an underlying message to them about his ability to delay gratification. He was showing them that he knew how to build up anticipation of something good. He was showing them what he was going to do with them. And he had lots of fun doing it. Imagine what he did with dessert. It’s amazing when you watch this kind of power in person.
Teri Tells: Guys – here’s a hint for seduction. Take her to an ice cream parlor and just lick your ice cream cone. No chomping. No slurping. Just licking. Be sure to look her in the eyes while doing so. It’s a sure thing!
There’s a way a woman hears seduction. It’s the difference between a bad pick up line and telling her what she wants to hear. Ask a woman the best way to approach her and she will tell you to just say hello and leave all the cheesy pickup lines at home. There are certain things she wants to hear and she doesn’t want it to sound as if it’s something you say to every woman you meet. She wants to know that you’ve learned enough about her or want to learn enough about her to make her feel different than the other women you’ve talked to or will talk to again. She won’t help but notice the way you look, but it’s what you say that will determine whether or not you’re dismissed right away or never. Likewise, how you speak to a woman in bed, or when you want to get her there, can make or break an evening. There’s naughty talk, there’s dirty talk, and there’s gross talk. There’s a woman out there that likes each of those and you better make a determination which woman you’re with before you open your mouth.
Teri Tells: A guy I was with called me a bitch while we were in bed. He never called me a bitch outside of bed or anywhere else and I hadn’t been in bitch mode with him. We weren’t having hardcore sex, either. It broke the mood because I didn’t understand where it came from and took me from feeling safe to feeling uncomfortable.
themes all women have. Our job is teaching you how to travel on the main highway that will take you to her private road. We’re going to show you the techniques you can use that all master seducers have used. They’re common to the men who know how to please women, and they can become common to you.
The Seduction Roadmap: Inward to Outward We look at the whole process of seduction as a mental map. You can see where you are, where you want to be, and the best route to take. Where you are now is a place where women are not responding to you in the manner you would like. Where you want to be is a place where you can be comfortable knowing your sex life is going exactly as planned. How you get there is by using the tools we provide to be able to focus on those things that will work for you as opposed to those things that hold you back. You will move forward in strength instead of in fear. You will learn how to make a woman feel special. Knowing how to handle each woman on an individual level is the difference between the standard approach to every woman, and the specialized approach you’ll be able to make. When you focus on your fears, your barriers, and your anxieties, you’re looking inward and staying there. You surround yourself with all types of negative thinking, which translates into negative actions and negative responses. When you recognize what you’re doing, and you make a conscious effort to change, and when you also begin to focus on how you interact with women, the process moves from inward to outward and the results are much more positive. Why? Because you take into consideration there’s someone else besides you. A woman will know if you’re
paying attention to her. Your chance of success with her depends on making it clear she’s the object of your attention, and not what she can do for you.
Here’s a chart that explains the difference between inward and outward thinking:
) Women like the seduction game. We know they tell you they don’t like game playing and that’s a different thing. We as humans know the hunt and catch game but what we don’t like is when someone plays the game outside the norms. Men are no different than women. Men don’t appreciate women who tease, or women who try to change who they are. Men don’t like it when a woman acts too forward. Women have their own code of behaviors they don’t like in men during the seduction game.
thing could happen and the universe could decide to bless you with a wonderful sex life without you having to do anything to earn it. But do you think you have that kind of connection with the universe? We are blessed with great imagination and that imagination will allow us to create buildings, high tech equipment, and excuses for not going after what we want. I’m shy. I don’t have time. All the stuff we went through at the beginning of the book. Stop it right now. It’s time to grow up and be a man and have all the things a man has a right to have - including the companionship of sexy women. Jerks have sexy women around them. I’m sure you know one. Guys who you know don’t deserve the women who fawn over them. Well, you’re the only one who doesn’t know they shouldn’t have them, and your opinion doesn’t count. Instead of thinking badly about them, start thinking better about yourself and take the steps you need to take to get what you want.
My point is that there’s a lot more going on in our world that our five senses cannot register consciously. But what if we are picking up things on an unconscious and/or a super conscious level? Here’s another way to put it: have you met someone with whom you felt an instant connection? You saw them, or shook their hand, and for whatever reason, you could feel your body reacting to them in a positive and charged way? If someone were to ask you what it was, you wouldn’t be able to tell them, at least not at the moment, but it’s there all the same. That feeling, that sense of having that automatic connection – that’s energy! The master seducer has learned how to discharge energy from himself to a woman that will make her feel as if she’s known him and liked him her whole life. She won’t be able to put her finger on it, but she won’t be able to deny it either. Sweet. Great, you say. If you can’t really explain it, how can I channel it? By realizing it’s there and by knowing how a woman operates, you can figure out how to tap into it.
The woman, on the other hand, uses the visual and then transfers her awareness to her feelings. She may initially be attracted to you because of your looks, but, ultimately, she will determine if she will go home with you by how she feels.
Teri Tells: I want to clarify something here. Women may start initially with “looks” but the definition of “good looks” varies widely among women. We don’t all like jocks and we don’t all like jerks. We don’t all find the same kind of men sexy! And Mark is absolutely correct when he says that we don’t stick on the looks for long. You’d better be bringing something else to the table or you may as well just stay home!
The seducer knows this and uses this information to his advantage. You remember the story about the dog that could find the boy’s scent after a few days? We know animals have an acute sense of smell, so much so, that we say an animal can ‘smell’ fear. Now we know it’s not an actual scent, but it is an actual ‘sense’ And it’s nothing compared to that of a woman. A woman will be able to smell fear and a lack of confidence the moment you begin to approach her. And like the gazelle that can sense the lion, she’ll put herself out of your reach. The weak-minded man puts out a smell or energy of submission. Submission is an automatic turn off to most women. And most women, if not all, lose respect with submissive men. Since we, as men, desire respect from a women, we are really sabotaging ourselves in the process.
They might find your nervousness an endearing quality of your sincerity. But you can bet if you don’t get over it enough to make the move or initiate contact, she will quickly dispense of the notion that you’re charming. She’s going to wonder why you’re scared and what that means for her if she has to deal with you. She will begin to think of reasons to say no to you, and she will use the first one she finds to exit your field of play.
him, all the while knowing the impetus for her decision is his skill to make her want to feel that way.
RAS-Reticular Activating System If I place a woman under a trance using hypnosis and instruct her to remove her shoes and socks and then bring her out of the trance and ask her why she’s barefoot, she will begin to create reasons why she is. She may say her foot hurt or itched, or her shoe was tight. Now, any of those could be true, but she has no idea that the real reason she did it was
RAS – The mechanism in our brain that allows us to create reasons for doing unexplainable things
being can use it when dealing with any other human being. That’s good news for those of you who don’t think you’re particularly good looking, or don’t possess the big car, or the high paying job. If you master the craft of stirring those feelings inside of a woman, she will reason for herself that those things don’t even matter.
The same thing can happen to a woman in the presence of a master seducer. When he first approaches, she may not think he’s the type of guy she would be interested in, but she let’s him approach for her own reasons. He does, and he applies his craft and skill, and soon her mind is seeing him in a way that makes her feel good, comfortable, and safe. Now you know why you need a plan.
Smart vs. Lucky The man, who has not yet attained master status, thinks of getting a woman like a Bingo game - someone draws out numbers and if he gets lucky, he’ll find them on his card. Or he thinks that just because he shows up, that’s enough. He’ll find someone somehow. He doesn’t know the details. He just thinks it will happen. These two men, though on opposite sides of the confidence spectrum, don’t get it. They both leave things up to chance with putting in the effort that will make the endeavor so much easier on them. When things don’t work out, they waste time in accessing their RAS, rationalizing why their method didn’t work. The master seducer does the same thing, but his rationalization keeps him moving forward while the non-masters use theirs to stand still or go backward. We’re going to give you techniques that will help you with your plan and will allow you to change your belief systems from one lined with fear to one lined with faith: the assurance you will have a much improved sex life. And then a magical thing will happen. You will begin to catch on to the process, and the positive experiences are the reinforcement you need to continue.
He probably didn’t. His belief system was such that he knew he was what women wanted and he was willing to deliver himself up to them just as accurately as he delivered the ball down the field. Women, or girls, were secondary to his first love – that piece of pig. And those girls loved him for it.
She Wants What Only You Can Give Her Women are still looking for quarterbacks. They are looking for men who have a passion in their lives and are not afraid of expressing it and living it. A man involved in his own life with passion and vigor speaks to a woman on a dimension that she may not even realize, but cannot help but react to.
Teri Tells: Women find this kind of confidence exhilarating! Don’t get me wrong – we want to feel like we are the main focus of your life, but not the ONLY focus of your life! If you are confident enough to have other interests, you will be more sought after.
That’s a master seducer. That’s the guy who knows how to awaken those feelings in a woman prompting her to want to be with him and making it seem like it was her idea all along. She can only get that feeling from a man. She cannot recreate that feeling for herself because it’s the genetic code inside of her that’s meant to be matched by someone outside of her with the equal but opposite genetic code. As a man, you have that same thing. There’s something inside of you, part of your genetic makeup, that’s meant to be matched by someone else; you’re unable to create it for yourself. Think about a woman who has those soft, amazing, feminine qualities, and what it feels like to be around them. Think about her soft skin, her soft voice, and all the seductive features of a very feminine woman.
The Power of Being Yourself We talked earlier about the fear of failure. That’s one that’s easy to understand: none of us wants to admit defeat. Even as we realize we don’t always get what we want when we want it – we still want it nonetheless and would rather not have to deal with the inevitable circumstance of not being able to obtain it. That’s the base fear men have when they consider approaching a woman they want: they may not be able to obtain her. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad if it was a private thing. But the interaction of men and women are often held in public meeting places. He can hear his friends razzing him in his mind’s ear: “Man, she didn’t even give up the digits! She stopped you cold!” Men don’t like losing under the best of circumstances, but when we have our ego and public personas on the line, it’s enough to create fear. The higher the stakes, the more fearful we can become. Unless you’re a master seducer. Then, the higher the stakes, the more you have to get excited about. He already embraces the idea of who he is and the power he has within him and he knows there is no better road to success than the one that lets him be himself. He can have fun because he understands the magnetic pull of his passion for life, his willingness to explore possibilities, and the energy that radiates from him to the women he wants to meet.
If there are any women reading this book, they may be gearing up to protest, but those who are in touch with their feelings know this to be true. And there’s nothing ‘submissive’ in the giving in. it’s not as if they lose their power. On the contrary, their power increases as they submit to the true feelings they have that are unencumbered by what society says she should feel, do, or believe. It’s the reason why submissiveness in a man is a turn-off to most women. A submissive man is taking over the role she wants to have. She doesn’t want to be the one who decides everything or does everything. She also may not want to wear pearls and vacuum the floor like June Cleaver or Donna Reed, but she wants to know that her man is a man. Her submission is in the form of her willingness to do what it takes to keep him happy. Women are better nurturers. Because they are the ones with the ability to have children, they have a natural and strong sense of caring. Fathers are important in society, but nothing has ever beat a mother’s love and the love of a good woman is something all men want to some degree and it’s because of that innate sense of how well a good woman will take care of your needs, both in bed and out. When a woman is willing to submit to making you happy, it’s a repayment for the woman you’ve awakened in her. It doesn’t matter if she’s the queen of the corporate world from nine to five; from five to nine, she’s the woman you’ve opened her up to being. I find that intoxicating. I understand the power I have to release that power in her. And I understand the power she has to make me feel grateful she’s giving it to me. To me, we are answering the call of the universe, of nature, and of God.
A True Story I met three women from Great Britain at a seminar I was attending and made the mistake of sharing with them my ideas on energy and how it could be used in seduction. They didn’t buy it and insisted I prove it. One day during the seminar, I sat in the back of the room with the three of them all sitting in front of me. I took them one by one, and channeled my energy towards them. Every single time, they would sense it, turn and look at me, and I would wink at them so they would know I was working my magic. I sent different messages to them, and they were able to tell me exactly what I was thinking for each message I was sending. It was a great deal of fun. It was also a case of turnabout being fair play because they did the same thing to me, including one of them, whom I wasn’t interested in, using it to seduce me. Three girls, at one time, under any circumstance, is a fantasy for almost every man, and a certain distraction for me that day. The exercise taught me several things. First, women are far more sensitive and intuitive to a man’s energy than I previously thought. Perhaps it shouldn’t have been so surprising that they can pick up on a seductive message since they can read fear and nervousness so easily. The second thing is they don’t let you know when they can read it when you’re sending them those messages. They will definitely pick up on your nervous cues and let you know that they know – they aren’t, however, as quick to let you know that they have read your seduction cues!
WARNING: I told those three women the secret to the power of seduction and they used it against me. I am advising you never give this secret to the women in your life, because they will find a way to use it to their advantage and they have enough power as it is. Samson should have never mentioned his hair to Delilah – he would have been a happier man.
The External Power You aren’t going to have a real discussion on seduction and the power men possess unless you have discussion on the external power: appearance and dress. Personally, I don’t embrace the theories, but there’s no denying that it works for some men. For whatever reason, women like shopping. There are some who don’t, of course, but we know a great many of them do, and they like to do it together. They get as excited about that as men do gathering around the engine of a car and figuring out how it works. Women love it and it’s not just about buying. They can be gone for hours and walk back in the house with no bags and still claim they’ve been shopping because they looked in all the stores. Whatever. If you can learn to tap into their love of shopping or looking, then you discovered another avenue to getting them in your bed. If she likes looking, and if she likes buying, then presenting yourself as something good to look at and as something she can take home, may be a pathway to her seduction.
If women get that excited about looking at clothing, then if you are wearing some decent threads, it’s bound to trigger a feeling in them that adds to their desire for you. It sure can’t hurt. It is about aligning all these qualities in yourself and giving yourself the highest odds of achieving the stimulation of her attraction.
Teri Tells: Like Mark, I don’t agree with a lot of the “exterior quality” theories that are out there. However, I do have to admit that nice clothes may catch my eye. I want to see more than fine clothes, however, if I plan to take you home. Remember, we are window shoppers and can come home feeling like we’ve been shopping without buying a thing. Only those things worth our money come home with us!
Most of the master seducers I know love to buy clothing for themselves that improves their appearance. It’s a simple concept voiced by Billy Crystal when he played his Fernando character: “Darling, when you look good, you feel good!” When you feel better about how you’re dressed, it becomes another tool that can be used to attract the attention of those you wish to bring into your life. Some women will make the correlation that a man who knows how to dress himself with style will also be able to pick out clothing or jewelry that will look good on her. I know one master seducer who picks out his women’s clothing, and they love it. He actually does a better job picking out what they are wearing than they do themselves. Not only that, but he loves to take them shopping. He uses shopping with women to give the implied message and direct message that he is a man of taste. And just like the old ZZ Top song says, “every woman loves a sharp dressed man.”
When I go out with my friend and I see the reactions he gets from women who know the quality of clothing is wearing, it is incredible. And he uses the feelings from how excited women get about what he’s wearing, and adds that to his confidence about how well he is able to make them feel. Now, this guy spends real money on his clothes; not something we can all afford to do. If your budget doesn’t allow you to go to a designer, there are some very nice affordable stores that can make you look good for very little money. In the meantime, until you can afford a completely designer closet, have at least one or two items you can work with. Men have the expectation that a woman who takes care of her appearance is more worthy of our attention, and they are the women who scare us the most when we see them in public. It follows that a woman appreciates it when she sees a man who takes care of himself and dresses well. It’s an indication of how well he would take care of her and his ability to give her beautiful children should they mate. It’s answering another buried call of nature. I know one master seducer from Florida who goes to Las Vegas once a year and spends about 13 to $15,000 every time he goes. He buys things that not only look good on him, but he makes sure that they are unique to him. He buys things, he told me, that women won’t see on any other man. The clothing is unique to him. He says there might be a few other men out there wearing it, but the chances of her seeing it on other man are very slim. He does the same thing with the shoes, watches, rings, sunglasses etc. etc. I went out with him one night after he had gotten back with some new clothing that he was really excited about. It was amazing to see how the women
All around him, people were taken away to be killed and he said they had come to a place in their mind that it was their fate and there was nothing be done about it. But Frankel felt differently. He decided he would hold onto what was his internally and not give it over to his captors. He did not accept his destruction as his destiny and therefore did not wait on it. He lived to write his book. You should read it.
How To Train A Flea It’s not hard to determine factors that cause us, as men, to be afraid of women and go into submissive mode. Remember, women are the nurturers. Our first intimate contact is with a woman, and that woman, after a nurse, is our mother. She takes us in her arms at birth and from that moment on, her influence runs steadily in our lives. Have you heard the story about how to train a flea? I heard different people tell the story, and the common denominator is how to train a flea to jump a certain height. They say if you put a flea in a Mason jar without the lid on it, the flea can easily jump out. But if you put a flea in a Mason jar and then put the lid on it, the flea will bounce off the lid. Then a funny thing happens after awhile. When you look in the Mason jar, you can see the flea jumping to a height just below the lid of the jar. When you take the lid off the jar, you don’t ever have to put it back on because the flea has now been trained and will never try to jump again to the level it was created to jump. The flea now believes and has been conditioned to a new level, BELOW, its abilities.
I think there are women who do this. There are women who work to define men within certain boundaries. It makes no difference if you have more abilities, or gifts, she wants to maintain you at a certain level and will work to do so. It starts at an early age and if there’s not a strong man around to counter that conditioning, then I believe men will be inclined to accept this conditioning as truth.
Teri Tells: I wanted to jump in here and let you know that men know how to train fleas, too! Women don’t like it any more than men when they are defined within certain boundaries and not allowed to grow or be themselves!! I believe over the last 30 or 40 years, all the single mothers raising young men, have not been able to give the men what they need to complete their manhood. You add on top of that the feminist movements, male bashing on television and media, and the feminist judges, both male and female, and you will see that they have also contributed to this mess. There’s another way women condition men. It goes in the opposite direction but has the same effect. There is a theory that mothers raise their daughters and love their sons. So when a boy becomes a man, he has an unrealistic idea that he is entitled to care from and by a woman simply because he exists. Because his mother and possibly, grandmother and sisters, have nurtured and taken care of him from birth without effort on his part, he believes all women will and should do the same. He never learns the maleness of pursuit and gaining a woman’s respect, trust, and love. He’s also the guy that never learns how to fully take care of himself. He may not fear women, but he makes women fearful of him because
women don’t look to sleep with children unless they, too, are just a child. Women want men, and men are not “Mama’s boys.” Don’t mistake that for being a man who cares about his mother. Most women love a man who takes good care of his mama. In fact, she knows how to spot a guy like that from twenty paces. If you’re a guy who knows how to take care of the first lady in your life when that lady is your mother, she figures you know how to take care of the first lady in your life when it’s her. And as a man, you should take care of your woman. This isn’t a book about putting women in their place; it’s a book that allows you to let a woman place herself where she wants, with you. You should also take care of yourself. You should know how to rely upon yourself. How to be alone as opposed to being lonely. You should know how to work a washing machine and a toaster. That’s why this book is being written; to show you that where I was, is where you are, and where I am, is where you can be. My experience from watching master seducers; my years doing therapy and training, continues to shape my life and I am able to leave breadcrumbs for you to follow. I could spend all day, or the rest of my life, trying to figure out the whys and reasons for the way we got to where we are but I’m but not going to. Or I could spend an enormous amount of time, like I have in the past, blaming the women that contributed to me being that way. I could take the attitude that what they did controls my behavior, but that doesn’t put me in charge of my choices. I have forgiven them and moved on.
And the control goes to my past. My past memories and thoughts will maintain control over my present behavior. Frankel believed it was the power of his will that contributed to his survival of the concentration camp. It would require a powerful spirit to overcome the atrocity that surrounded him. But he maintained control over his fears, anxieties, and the realities that people around him were being executed every day. It seems silly to compare what he went through with the subject of his book, but remember we told you there was more than one way to apply what you would learn. The point is being able to control your own power after you’ve claimed it. Don’t act like a victim. If you think the power to choose and to change is not within you, it’s isn’t because someone took it away. They may have tried, but you allowed it to happen. And all you have to do is decide to take it back. The power is, as it always has been, yours. Now that you know this: it’s time to choose. You can choose to go back to sleep again, and blame it all on your external circumstances, or you can choose to put a different, positive meaning on your choices.
So, what’s it gonna be? Choose now, to be a master seducer!
We do a remarkable job in this country making sex confusing. The women in my family, the Catholic Church, and teachers at school were telling me in one form or another that sex was bad. But that was countered with televisions, movies, and MTV who all said sex was…well…sexy. But the home training won out, so there I was with all the sexual feelings that made me a man and a human being, and I would get near a woman and the fear would ooze out of my pores like sweat on an August day.
Dirty Young Men I actually used to think, that if I was able to keep those thoughts suppressed, and be a nice boy, or a nice man, that women would be attracted to me. I actually believed that I would be rewarded with sex by not thinking about it. Because sex was the most taboo subject there could be and because adults treated it with such disgust and reverence, I was totally confused about how I was supposed to think about it.
Teri Tells: Just an FYI – women don’t know how to think or talk about this subject either! They have many of the same feelings and thoughts as men and have just as much confusion about it!
And then I discovered I was neither unique nor alone. There were other men who were having the same conflict. Some had resolved it and some were still dealing with the remnants of how they were raised.
I bet you’re thinking a master seducer revels in those thoughts and lets them run free and unchained in his mind. No. He doesn’t. I’ve modeled and talked with many master seducers and those thoughts do enter his mind - he is human after all - but they aren’t unfettered. They are acknowledged and then put away. That’s right. He makes the decision not to let those sexual thoughts rule his head, body, or behavior. He doesn’t fight them. He doesn’t struggle with the right or wrong of them. They are what they are. He knows they are there, and he decides to push them aside to concentrate on getting to know the woman he’s with. He has the confidence to do this because he knows they don’t have to go very far. After all, if he’s successful in seducing the woman, those thoughts are going to come in handy in creative and pleasurable ways. He just understands the need of putting first things first. When the seducers would sense that the woman was feeling an attraction towards them, they would increase their feeling of sexuality inside their body, a little bit, and at the same time start to play ‘hard to get’ with the woman. Now think about that. When have you seen that kind of thing happen before? That is exactly what women do when they start to feel sexual attraction. When the feelings in their body increase, the playing “hard to get’ pattern emerges. Now, if the man is playing that part, which a woman normally plays, the woman, who loves to role play, gets to play the role of a man and become aggressive. Read this again until you get it.
The master seducer is creating an environment, a context, for the woman to be the aggressor, like a man, with her sexual feelings. She doesn’t have to back down. He gives her plenty of room to play. It is a new and exciting roller coaster ride for the woman and she takes the bait. Women absolutely love to be aggressive with their attraction toward the master seducer knowing that at the peak of the experience she can submit to the master seducer when he is ready. If you think that is far out, then go read some romance novels. You will find this to be a common theme in those books and in women’s fantasies. I will talk more about this later.
at that woman you find interesting and see her at first base with someone who’s not you. Your error. But your choice.
The Power of Adjustment and Acceptance The master seducer also knows how to live his own life – and dating is a part of it, but he understands it’s not the “be all end all.” Don’t misunderstand what we’re saying. He wants women. He wants to sleep with them, and he wants to be with them – but there are terms and limits he imposes on himself that those who are no so fortunate in the romance department fail to do. For one thing, non-seducers try to impress women by being who and what they are not. We’ve said this before: one of the quickest ways to turn off a woman is to pretend to be someone else, instead of pretending in a way that makes you more of who you really are. A real jerk has a better chance of getting a sexy woman to sleep with him than the nice guy trying to be a jerk because he heard women are attracted to ‘bad’ boys. The master seducer accepts who he is and he can make adjustments to meet the needs of women while staying true to himself. That means if he is a man without a lot of money, he doesn’t spend the rent money taking a woman out to dinner – instead he accepts his financial limitations and adjusts by finding a less expensive, but romantic, way to make a nice evening for his lady.
The Power of Happy Because the master seducer knows how to accept who he is, he is free to pursue happiness right along with pursuing women, and because he holds no preoccupation with the fairer sex, they are free to like him for who he is. That doesn’t mean if he’s in a low paying job that he will stay there for the rest of his life. It doesn’t mean if the car he’s driving is more than two years old, he‘s destined to drive it until it’s a clunker. The master seducer doesn’t settle. He understands change is around the corner because he creates change. He knows things can change at any minute, and he knows he can handle it. He is in love with life and he makes it work for him. I suspect you would like to see a good example right about now. Well, one of the best examples of how a man makes the changes that allows him to embrace his life can be found in the movie Groundhog Day.
A funny thing happens when he wakes up the next day; it is Groundhog Day all over again, but no one else can remember. He has to live the day all over again. So he lives the day out and when he wakes up the next day, it is Groundhog Day again. Well it continues to be Groundhog Day many times, and he begins to remember the events of the day and its happenings perfectly. So he starts to use the information he learns to try to pick up and seduce the woman on his news team, Rita, played by Andie MacDowell. He tries to impress her with his psychic abilities. He finds out little bits and pieces about her - what she likes, what she doesn’t like, and then repeats it back to her; using her own knowledge against her, trying to seduce her. He gets pretty close many times, but she senses something’s not right, and she doesn’t give in. After a while, he stops trying, and gets depressed, tries to kill himself, or just stays in bed realizing that no matter what, it’s always Groundhog Day. He’s stuck there. Finally, he changes his attitude from pity to acceptance. He decides, little by little, to make the best of it. He takes advantage of all the opportunities before him to see a silver lining and make the days better for him. He begins to take joy in waking up everyday and finding new and improved ways to help other people and to make himself a better person. When he takes up that mentality, that he can add value to people’s lives, he begins to feel better.
When he starts to develop new skills, like playing the piano, and learning how to be nice to people, and he sees the response that he gets, he starts to become happy. He starts to look at life as an opportunity to give of himself. And the byproduct is that his confidence, humor, and goodwill all are taking an active part. He starts to exemplify the traits of a master seducer. He is alive and full of life, and he is giving life. It extends from his very being and people want to be around his outgoing energy - including Rita. He is having so much fun living life that she begins to be attracted to him. In the end, he gets the girl, but more importantly he gets himself. Even if you saw this movie yesterday, watch it again knowing what you know now.
Rewrite Your Movie That’s the lesson I want you to take away from the movie and from this book. Yes, the techniques you’ll learn here can help you get women, but they can also help you get so much more. And everything you gain in your life, each mountain you climb, and challenge you conquer, is enhanced by your ability to share it with a woman who wants nothing more than to be with you. It’s worth the effort to rewrite the script of your life to reflect whatever type of movie you enjoy: adventure, western, hi-tech. No matter how you imagine yourself when you’re dreaming about the ultimate you, you can make it happen. Believe!
We know fear is the biggest block to your success with women. That fear causes you to hesitate, and he who hesitates is lost. I want to spend some time talking about fear and hesitation so we can help alleviate it as an option for you.
83 and are not, the part of you that creates Emotional Discordance:
illusions gets really busy putting together another illusion so that you can be happy. The
The state or an instance of
truth of the matter is that this “illusion making”
disagreement between illusion
is really just setting you up for more discordant
emotions when reality once again meets illusion. I used to sell cars and this is something used-car sales people take advantage of all the time. That is the main reason that they implemented the “lemon law” where you can take a bad car back to dealer for a new one in a designated period of time if it has too many problems. They knew most people were too lazy to take the time to find out about the mechanics, and real qualities of that specific vehicle before they bought it. It is the exact same way that men deal with women – as though they were buying a car. Most men look at beautiful women and think to themselves that the external quality alone is good enough - without knowing any of her real attributes. That kind of mentality has cost me tens of thousands of dollars, much heartbreak, much anger etc. etc. And the thing about women – there are no lemon laws to protect you! My problem used to be that I would give women complete trust based on their beauty alone. I would build an illusion for them, without any help from them, and that put me at a huge disadvantage. I granted them Goddess status and with Goddess status came the following beliefs: •
Boy was I in for a big wake up call!!! A “Goddess” created by me in my own little fantasy world can do all of those things because she is not really a Goddess at all. I realize that any lying or cheating or stealing that fell my way due to illusionary Goddesses was my own damn fault. Instead of granting a woman Goddess status, I should have checked into who she really was, what her belief systems were, and what her values were. If I had spent more time on that part of the equation, I would have saved myself a lot of headaches. Hopefully you are going to benefit from my and others learning curves on seduction, and you can save much trouble for yourself.
Teri Tells: Goddess status isn’t all it’s cracked up to be for the women either. We feel like we have way too much expected of us based on our looks or the Goddess status you men have given us.
85 who created the illusion in the first place is likely to be very hurt, very angry or both. Either way they don’t want to deal with it so they avoid it from the beginning. Remember guys, women have been through this behavior from men many, many times and even talk about this aspect of guys with other women all the time. They know what’s down the line when dealing with the “nice guy” mentality. This is when the women pull out the “lets just be friends routine” or any other routine to get away from you romantically. It is big red flag territory for them. Now there are many women out there that might be called gold-diggers and willingly take advantage of this “glitch” in a man’s thinking. They know that if they play this part – Goddess - very well that they can bleed you out of about everything you have – money, cars, diamonds, and even your self-esteem. If you don’t create the illusion, the gold-digger will have nothing to use against you. When you are asking women questions about who they really are, the ones that are planning to “dig for gold” will soon figure out that you are onto their game, and they will usually get out of the picture, or better yet, YOU will get them out of YOUR picture. Most women will appreciate it if you don’t create the Goddess illusion. They will like it even more if you really try to get to know them by asking questions. That happens so rarely, that just the questioning process alone will keep the door open for you. They will be intrigued and interested by your interest in them.
86 It’s a different kind of ATTENTION for them. It’s new. And women like new things. It also shows them that you have CONTROL about what you want in your life, and that you were willing to be selective about the process. That turns women on! Besides showing attention in a way that is different from the other guys, you also stir up a desire in them to show you some of their other qualities – the ones that go far beyond looks. You bring them into a COMPETITIVE frame of mind and women love to compete in that arena - the arena of SEDUCTION!
Challenge: A test of one's abilities or resources in a
You also bring up in them the idea of the challenge.
All of their lives they have believed in a challenge
as something that is exciting. If you think about it, it causes them to bring out the best qualities in themselves. When they “rest on their laurels” of beauty only, they don’t have to do anything. There is no challenge in that; they are just sitting around being beautiful. Sitting around looking good does not challenge them to bring out any finer qualities that they may have. And if they have spent any amount of time developing or practicing other qualities, other than their looks, and they grew up believing that they would need them to sway the man of their dreams, and you don’t give them a chance to use it, you are not challenge. They have been waiting since they were a little girl to be challenged by a man, and they want to test their skills. The more women are challenged the better they become at being multidimensional. It is the same for men in the arena of sports. We need competition to get better at what we do.
87 If I am around somebody that brings out my finer qualities, I want to be around them more. It is the same thing for women when they are around you. You want to create an arena that challenges them to bring out their best qualities so that they want to be near you. And if you recognize those qualities, especially while she is in the process of doing them, you score many bonus points. You also create another desire in them to practice more and more, on you. This can be a very good thing! In a sense you are waking her up, from her sleep, and giving her a reason to feel ALIVE again.
My 21-year-old nephew has learned this lesson very well. He is a great-looking kid, with an athletic figure. So he gets many beautiful women naturally. He has shown me some of the pictures of the women he has dated at college. It looked like a portfolio from a modeling agency. He said to me that they were all a pain in his ass. And that he dumped every one of them. He said the funny thing is, the more women he dumps, the more they (and other women) get interested in him because they think they can do better than the last girl (competition again!). His filtering process has served him well because now he finally has a steady girl, who is not only beautiful, and a sweetheart, she has the whole package.
89 what does he really see in them. And how did he see that in them. He said he thinks that most women know they’re full of B.S., and are dying for a man to tell them that he can see her illusion. Kevin says he thinks that most women hate being that way, (phony and fake), that they really can’t stand being that way, but because of society and the media and men, they think they have to be that way. He said he notices that the more men kiss a woman’s ass, the more likely she is to leave in the end, so why would he engage in behavior that goes against what he’s trying to do. He said, believe it or not, women want to know how much of their mask people really see. He says he gives them a little bit of information and then makes them beg for more. He said it makes them want me more. He is increasing their response potential and building the desire mechanism in them. So as I thought about that a little bit, I realized he was bursting the bubble (illusion) that they didn’t want anyway. And if the women who still had a vested interest in the illusion still wanted to play the game, he dropped them like a hot potato. He would not play. But, if they wanted to be real and acknowledged the game, he was then willing to play a different game with them. It was his game now. And he wanted to know if they wanted to play. He said he really didn’t treat them much differently than he would treat a guy. He said that if the woman was going to be around me for a while, I might as well
90 have one that I can be friends with and joke around with, without getting too serious. He said many of the girls that he had dumped; he dumped because they kept trying to play the other game. And he was not going to play; he was not going to take their bait. He also said that most of his friends were having the exact opposite happening to them. He said the women were dumping most of his good-looking friends. He said most of them were being led around on a leash, like a dog. He said he thought that the women got bored playing the same old game that they play with every other man. Kevin makes them pull their own weight. He lets them know right away that he is not going to carry them like most other men will. Kevin also makes fun of the men that do kiss women’s asses. He separates himself from the other men, in her mind, immediately. He creates a contrast between himself and other men that stand out. Kevin is way further ahead in this game than I was at 21. Of course, I didn’t have the sheer volume of women knocking at my door like he does to be able to learn all these lessons so quickly.
But they change their behavior. They were not afraid, and they learned the lessons that can now be passed on to you. So what Kevin really did was to burst that star quality right at the beginning. Not only did he burst it in his mind, but in women’s as well. He put the women in unfamiliar territory. They never had to play any other game before. And it put him in total control of himself and the new game. It was his game or no game at all. Deep down inside, women really do want to be themselves. It takes a lot of energy to put on a mask and play a part all the time. So the new game Kevin creates gives women a chance to be who they are around him.
Teri Tells: I don’t know about you but I am sure like being around people who let me be more of myself.
We want to get closer to recognizing how they see themselves, and how their friends see them. And even the range of comfort for them.
Just imagine if you are wearing a professional baseball suit and based on that reason alone, you got drafted to the major leagues and everybody treated you like you were really a pro ball player, but you really knew you couldn’t even play baseball.
93 but I’m sure that there would be a release and a relief of knowing that you wouldn’t have to play that part, at least in front of that person. What you are effectively doing is taking the burden of the illusion off of them. Some women will get pissed off when you reveal that you know, But most women will be relieved. Either way, chances are whatever response you get, they will want to get to know more about you, and why you think that way. But let’s not believe that you are stopping the Goddess illusion just for women. You are also doing it for yourself! Do you really want to keep up the maintenance of the woman that wants to keep playing that role? That is what is meant by a highmaintenance woman. She requires a lot of attention to keep her illusion going. And you better be doing a good job, or she may find someone else who will do the job for you. Another interesting thing happens in the process that is good for you. When you tell it like it is and let them know you can see right through them, they begin to put that “star quality” or “God quality” onto you. Because you saw through them, you must have some pretty amazing qualities yourself. So you start to become the star. Any man who can expose them must be pretty God-like if they were a Goddess.
94 Once you burst that bubble, they are in very unfamiliar territory. At that point you can say they are in a kind of trance (hypnosis). And the place in their mind that they are closest to at this point is where they were mentally and emotionally before they began to build their bubble. What I’m saying is that sitting right below the surface is the little girl they were before they built the bubble. When we pull out the roots of something, we are exposing the ground that the Illusion was built on. She can be very vulnerable. If you begin to talk to them and reveal to them that you know about this, that you know about this little girl, and talk to the little girl in her, and let their little girl inside them know that it is safe for them to come out, then they are in a state of mind like clay is to a potter. Be very careful at this point because you could do her some real damage, and cause her to build even higher walls, and bigger defenses, and you will not get to experience that wonderful part of herself. If you can begin to coax that little girl out of her, you will have much more fun, and a lot less trouble.
Think about what attitude you want to deal with. Do you want to deal with the high maintenance bitch or the little girl in her that likes fun and adventure and is much more trusting?
95 Can you begin to see how your self-esteem and your self-image goes way up when you know that you have the ability to give to women something that most other men do not understand? Just knowing that you have exclusive and secret information about women can boost your confidence. And if you notice, most of the qualities of the master seducer are about giving - in one way or another. When you give, it requires action, doing, and taking charge. It is an outwards motion. It is output, like electricity. It’s not about waiting for things to happen. It’s about making things happen. The universe blesses those that make things happen by giving. And you will also notice in the story of my nephew, Kevin, that he wasn’t afraid and didn’t care if they left him or if they didn’t like it. To him, it wasn’t a big loss because he looked at it as something that they were losing or missing. He knew he had something powerful to give them. Himself! Most men are so afraid that this one woman may be his only shot. They don’t look at this one woman as just one out of 3 BILLION. Therefore, they are so fearful that they become wimps. Have you ever considered what you didn’t lose by letting her go? What you gained by letting her go? What you won by letting her go? What you gained in your self-esteem by letting her go?
96 Consider those angles to become a master seducer. Most master seducers find reasons that boost their self-esteem when they let a woman go. Their self-talk may go something like this: •
“Wow, I am glad I got out of that one before it got any worse.”
“I sure am proud of myself for dealing with her the way I did.”
“I really feel badly for her. She didn’t get to experience the incredible feelings she would have gotten from being around me.”
Any thing that puts it as her loss and his gain! The master seducers of the world and the successful people of the world make every situation into one that benefits them and moves them closer to their goals.
Our minds work in a similar fashion. When we have a thought that is too big, like the big rock, we cannot get it through certain parts of our mind because certain parts of our mind can only allow a smaller chunk to go through. You probably have heard the saying, “How do you eat an elephant?” and the answer is, “One bite” at a time.” There’s no way we are able to consume the elephant in just one bite. In this same way there is no way you’re going to be able to become a master seducer all at one time. You must take little pieces and work on them to break them down to make it understandable to you. And not only understandable, but in a way that is compatible with your belief systems. When you try to put too big of a piece of information through a smaller hole, it creates stress, fear, and anger. In that format, it is not very manageable. What we need to do is break it down into smaller pieces. In NLP (Neuro-Linguistc Programming), we call it chunking down. When we chunk down, we lighten the load of every piece of information. If you had a big boulder you were trying to carry across a bridge, wouldn’t it be much easier to smash it down into pieces that you could carry? Yes, of course it would! Just like eating an elephant is easier one bite at a time! The brain looks at some of your concepts about women like a big boulder. When you give a beautiful woman
99 Goddess quality, you are creating a huge boulder. Your brain says, “No way!” And it comes up with all kinds of emotions and blocks to keep you from doing anything. However if you break it down into smaller chunks, it creates less resistance and you’ll find a way to get it done. It is the same way with seduction; most men put it all into one big container and expect to carry it all at once. Get it all done, NOW. If you are carrying the whole seduction process in one container and any piece of the seduction fails to work, then the whole thing fails. Men who do not chunk down the seduction process in this way believe that if one part doesn’t make it through the filter then nothing can make it. They then feel that they may as well give up and will find all kinds of reasons why it didn’t work for them. If you do this, you are putting all your apples in one cart. You’ve told your brain that unless the whole seduction works perfectly, you have failed. That is too much of an expectation to put on anybody! Think about it - most professional baseball players fail to hit the baseball 7 out of 10 times and they are still considered successes. The key here is to break the boulder down into pieces that will go through your filter. When we change the size of the chunk, it has a different name and a different meaning to it. You would not call a pebble a boulder. You would not call a stone a boulder. They are classified by size. Each different size has a different quality and meaning to us. When we change the size of thoughts, we also automatically change the meaning in our minds.
100 Each of us has different meanings for different sizes of information and what is just the right size for one person may still be too big for another. That’s ok. What you will find is that if you continue to break it down into smaller pieces, you will reach a magical point where there is no resistance. And because there is no resistance, it will flow through those filters in your mind that will let you proceed in the seduction process. It will be a point that will not only change in your visual field (like seeing a 32 year old after believing his was 45), you will also feel a huge difference in your body. Your body will feel lighter because the weight of the “TOO BIG concept” has been taken off of you. Let’s look at this in terms of something other than seduction so that you can see that it really works and HAS probably already worked for you in other arenas. Have you ever been assigned a job that you thought was impossible? Something your boss wanted you to do, but perhaps a job you had never really done before? It scared the hell out of you! However, you soon discovered that even though you had never done that particular job before, you had done most of the pieces involved in the job. You knew how to do those pieces, so you realized how easy the job was after all. It wasn’t a change of the job required. It was just a change in your mind. The same thing is true about the seduction process. What we are going to do is systematically begin to break down the boulder that you call seduction or dating until there is no, or very little, resistance. A little resistance can be a good thing. But you have to decide what level of resistance is comfortable for you to begin to take action, now.
101 I will tell you about my friend Paul and you’ll see how I had him break the pieces down. And then you will see the amazing results!!
$ Paul had been in a relationship for eight years and was in his late 40’s. He was a nice guy, but his girlfriend got tired of him, and let him know that she was tired of him - all the time. So they finally broke up and Paul was on his own. He had been out of the game for so long that he didn’t know what to do anymore. He was afraid and didn’t want to even think about getting rejected by another woman so quickly. I don’t blame Paul for not wanting to be rejected! But, I wanted to help him, so we did some reframing of his thinking. Then I gave him some assignments to do as I began to coach him. Paul didn’t know where to begin in the seduction process. He had put everything that he thought about dating and seduction into one big pile. And when he looked at that pile (boulder), it petrified him. So my first assignment with Paul was to get him to go out and to do just one thing. That one thing was to smile at every woman he saw - beautiful or ugly. Paul said, “Oh that is easy. I already do that now”. So I said, “OK” let’s go to the next step. What I want you to do now is to begin to say hello to all women that you consider good-looking or beautiful.” He had a little bit of resistance, but said he thought he should be able do this with no problem.
102 When I talked to Paul the next week he was all upset, and said that he couldn’t do this, and that he was not cut out for seduction. So I asked him what happened. He said he started to say hi to all the good-looking women that he met, and the next thing he knew he was in a conversation with them, and after while he didn’t know what to say, and was afraid to get their number. I said, “Hold on a minute. Stop! What was your assignment? Was it to talk to women? Was it to get their number?” He said no but that he felt obligated to do it and thought that’s what he should do, and that he failed in doing that. I told him to stop again and told him that I thought he had succeeded marvelously. He didn’t get it. I told him that the chunk size of the assignment for that week was to smile and say hi. That’s all. And that’s what he did. Whatever he did beyond hello had NOTHING to do with his success or failure of the assignment. The chunk size that we were determining to complete his assignment had been completed. Once he got what I was saying, he lightened up quite a bit, and said, “Oh, I get it now.” So each week we added a little chunk that was manageable for him. He was now building on his successes. He was getting the Boulder from one side of the river to the other by breaking it into smaller, more manageable SIZE chunks. He was
103 achieving that one piece at a time. He was taking one bite of the elephant at a time. And then he began to see that as completed each assignment, it went into the plus column on his accounting system. He was building confidence one piece at a time, instead of a boulder at a time, which was impossible for him to achieve. This process became very funny because he kept saying he was having problems. Now his problems were that the WOMEN wanted to keep doing more than his assignment called for. It is interesting and funny that his problems were now reversed! There was a time that I didn’t hear from Paul for a few months. Then he called me one day, complaining that he didn’t think the seduction stuff was worth doing. I asked him why. He said that now he had too many women that were calling him. He was dating, but his new problem was that he could not tell the women no! He felt bad turning them down. PLUS, he was afraid that all the women would find out about each other! He was getting tired and confused trying to juggle all of the women. I said first you call me complaining that you’re not getting laid, and now you’re calling me because you have too many women. What’s the problem? Do you know how many men wish they were in your position right now, and had your problem?
104 So the big Boulder for Paul was the initial steps. Once he was able to get past that hurdle, he had no problem talking to women. In fact, he was such a good talker and good seducer he had more than he could handle. What happened with Paul is not uncommon. Most of the men I’ve coached in this area have very similar results. Another point on Paul: He kept getting results from his behavior but his beliefs had not caught up to his results in the seduction arena. Remember, sometimes it takes your beliefs a while to catch up to your reality! Our beliefs sometimes need multiple experiences over time to finally let go of the doubt.
Now what I just told you works for most of your fears around women. What I am about to tell you and explain to you about this next technique, if used properly, will take care of any fear of beautiful women that you may have.
105 What this does is give you the ability to turn down the resistance, or the fear, to a level inside you that lets you talk to women without the fear. You can then decide, as a master seducer, how you want to be around her without the fear in the way. Just think about fear as if somebody took the roof off your house and dropped an elephant into your living room. You would have to learn to live around that elephant. You would have to design your life around the elephant in the room. You would have to change all the furniture in the room. Fear is like that elephant. You have changed so many things about how you act around women based on your internal fear. This technique that you’re about to learn is like taking the elephant out of the room. Think about how much easier it’s got to be in your living room without the elephant. Think about how much more pleasant it will be to be around beautiful women without the fear. Let me build a little bit of a foundation for this technique as well. There is something called Meta programs in NLP. Meta-programs are a way to determine HOW you classify certain types of information. With the last technique we determined the parameters of classification by size. How BIG or how SMALL was the chunk. There is another very useful way to classify information that is extremely important in seduction. The meta-program that we are talking about is called sameness / difference.
108 between the ends of the spectrum, there is a mixture of a little or a lot of both going on. And if you play with that mixture, you will find your own personal magic point of the comfort you want when personally dealing with beautiful women. Now let’s put a rating on your scale with Butch Lesbian as a one and the Lipstick Lesbian as a 10. After looking at the scale, you determine that your comfort level is about a 6. At the 6 level, you are still turned on and still comfortable with the woman you see. The fear is not taking over at a 6. The next step is to be able to have you feel like you are talking to a level 6 when, in fact, you are talking to a beautiful level 10! We want your emotions and your state of mind to come from a level 6 while you’re interacting and seducing a level-10 beauty. And just how do you do that? You have to look for the manly qualities, no matter how small, to turn the volume switch down enough to talk to her with the comfort of a seducer. You don’t have to do it forever, just until you get the swing of being comfortable in front of 10’s. Now remember I said to be CAREFUL with this, because if you screw the scale up and look at a level 10 from the point of view of a level 1, you could really hurt her feelings and not be attracted to beautiful women anymore. Read that again. Unless of course you begin to focus heavily again on the differences Also when you practice going up and down on the scale you will find another magical thing happening that I will let you discover on your own. It’s an awesome thing and you will never know what I am talking about, unless you try.
109 Now here’s what you do, it’s very simple. The next time you look at a beautiful woman, begin to ask yourself these questions. What features on her face are the same that I have on my face? Nose, nose hairs, eyes, ears, earwax, dirty fingernails etc. Just play with your own ideas that turn it down a notch. What features on her face look the same as a man’s face? If she were a man, who would she remind me of? With this one, you want to compare the two faces in your mind’s eye, while looking for similarities in their features and look. What other features on her body are similar to a man’s body? She has hands, she has knees, she has feet, etc. etc. Normally, just by focusing on the similarities in the face is enough to change it. It really lessens the fear inside of you. I think about some of the Butch Lesbians that I know that have kick ass bodies, but they are so manly in their looks, and the way they talk, I just can’t seem to get past that and feel any attraction towards them. And when I take that principal and apply it towards beautiful women, the same thing begins to happen. The effect of her beauty is no longer as powerful over me. And I am now more in control of what I think and how I act around beautiful women. I think if you play with this technique and the elements that make it work for you personally, you will get huge benefit from it.
111 differences. This way, we won’t lump all beautiful women together! So what we are going to do now is classify women, not by their beauty, but by their differences in personality, values, and beliefs. What this process does is that it gives you a kind of a buffer zone, a safe zone, from your own feelings that can get you carried away. It creates an area inside of you to begin to find out things about her. Now when you look at her start to ask yourself these questions: Would I trust this girl with my bank account? Would I trust this girl in my apartment alone for a week, or a month? Would I introduce her to someone that I look up to, or care about? Would I introduce her to my parents, grandparents, family, or friends? If you go to church, would you take her to church, and introduce her to your pastor or priests, or the congregation? Or maybe even the nuns? Would you trust her to take care of your pets? (If you have any) And if none of those work, try this one. Imagine the person you most love in the world has been magically turned into a newborn baby. You have the responsibility of that baby, knowing who that baby really is. Would you leave that baby in this woman’s hands for any period of time? If used properly, you begin to see how foolish you really are to give any woman those “Star or Goddess” qualities based on beauty alone.
112 When you use either the sameness technique or the difference technique, or both, you are creating a gap for yourself. The kind of gap that takes you out of the stimulus/response loop that you have been caught up in for so many years. When you are in the stimulus response loop, you really are no better than any animal. Because when you are in stimulus / response loop, you don’t have any choice. The presupposition of stimulus response is that when the stimulus is activated, the response is automatic. When you have enough of this stimulus / response mechanisms working inside you, you become more of a machine than a human. You lose your ability to choose because it is chosen for you by your unconscious mind, before you can even think about it. These techniques I just gave you open up a gap between the stimulus and the response. You become an active participant in determining what you will put in between stimulus and response. Please read again! These techniques don’t just work with women; they also work with all relationships, anywhere. They are excellent to use in business, in sales, and they work wonderfully for setting and attaining your goals. I will give you a little warning. Unless you begin to take action and use these techniques, your mind will have a tendency to make you forget what you just read, because the techniques can have such a profound impact on your old beliefs.
But remember the process works in reverse, too. The more times you commit to the 21 to 28 days, and don’t do it, the harder it gets each time in the future. Just ask some old people!
Now, let me say a few words about the positive nature of resistance. Earlier, I talked with you about breaking the elephant up into smaller chunks – and that would help you avoid the resistance. However, not all resistance is bad. It is designed by Nature to protect us from things we really need to fear. For instance, if you see a tiger, you do not want to get rid of the resistance that makes you run! Sometimes it is good to have real fear in place. I don’t know about you, but I am happy with the level of fear that I have when I see a tiger. I WANT that fear, and I want it to kick in right away. I don’t want to have to think about it too much. I just want it to get my ass out of there. PRONTO! What you have been doing with woman is classifying them in the same category as you would a tiger or a crocodile. It’s not that you shouldn’t have any fear or any resistance, it is just that you have misclassified the information. You put two things together into one place, and they shouldn’t be put together. It is like mixing your whites and colors when doing laundry, you should do them separately so the colors don’t affect the whites. Otherwise you end up with pink jockey shorts!
115 Of course, I am talking to men, and they may not see that mixing of laundry as being a problem (myself included!), but do you get my point? That part of your brain that uses fear is working perfectly in the way it should. It is your classification system that is all messed up! The way you classified women was decided along time ago, when you were a child. And believe it or not, it is still working the same way it did as a child. And from a little boy’s perspective, some of the women in your life may have been on the same level of fear as a tiger. I certainly know it was true with the nuns!!! Back then you didn’t know the difference. Now you do. And it is time to reclassify women or you will get the same results as you have been getting in the past. I once heard Tony Robbins say, “Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” As Shiv Khera, motivation coach and author of "You Can Win" puts it, "Winners don' t do different things. They do things differently.” So anytime in the future that you feel a fear that you know is out of place, you can thank the fear mechanism for working. And at the same time begin to reclassify the information, by chunking down and/or using the sameness or difference techniques. I am sure it will work as it worked for me and other master seducers.
118 conquest. He would be thinking about how to improve on his judgments the next time. I wondered what the master seducer would think about the woman he just left. And then a thought came to my mind about setting boundaries for what I will and will not accept in my life. I began to think about what she would have to do for me to let her back in my life.
119 about all the things that she would need to do for me to accept her back, the more empowered I became. I am telling you, YOU must go back to the women, in your mind’s eye, that have rejected you, or broken it off with you, and try this. Try it with the women that you broke up with but still have some lingering doubt about your decision. This is a way to explore a part of yourself that will give you rewards beyond your wildest imagination. When you actually apply this in your mind and in your motions, you will know exactly what I’m talking about.
120 she would have to compete with many, many women in order to be with me – to be in MY WORLD! This exercise was not about whether she did those things or not. It was about me taking back my power, my world, and my reality. I had just learned that I didn’t need anybody to complete my world. Sure, it would be nice to have a beautiful woman to accompany me in this life. What I no longer was willing to accept was the fact that I would have to put up with any crap.
Hey, look; if you are going to be alone at any time in your life, would you rather walk around feeling empowered and strong and the master of your own destiny? Or would you rather go around sulking, and feeling sorry for yourself? Would you rather be walking around in life wondering when that perfect woman might come into your life? Think about it, it puts you at their mercy. When you think like that you are not in charge of your world. Everything ‘outside of you’ controls your reality. But when you are in the mindset of a master seducer, whether you are with a woman or not, you decide and you choose what to believe about your reality. But there is even more to it than your own feelings of power. Imagine that there are two men standing side by side. One believes that the control is in the outer things. The other has confidence and believes that he controls his own reality. Which one do you think a woman would pick? Which one would you want to have as a friend?
Millionaires and Master Seducers Aren’t Afraid to Burn Bridges Another element for me was the fact that I was afraid to feel any loss. Part of why I came up with all these excuses about going back for this girl that I had just broken up with was because I felt like I was losing something. That concept of loss kept me from making a clean break. It kept me from making a solid decision. Essentially what I was doing was “not burning my bridges.” I had always been taught to never burn my bridges because I may have to use them again at some time in the future. Well to be honest with you, I have changed that belief system. I now believe that success determines that we must burn some bridges, and never go back the way we came. I
122 lack. One friend asked me this simple but profound questions: “Is it possible that you can find someone better able to give you what you need than the person you should’ve burned your bridges with?” It was an awesome question. I had never considered that there were others, many others, out there that had the positive traits I needed and without all the negative qualities. Additionally, my friends told me that by keeping the bridges intact, I was putting the other person in a higher place in my mind then I put myself. It puts them in control of certain things. It means that I’m willing to put up with their crap at a future date to get something from them. I am saying, on an unconscious level, that I have to deal with negative things to get positive things. Successful people and master seducers know differently. They are not afraid to burn a bridge. They’re not afraid of the loss because they know that they will create something better. They cut off all those negative qualities from their reality by cutting out the people that have them. They have an “abundance mentality” and believe that the universe will provide them with something better.
Getting What You Want From the Get Go We have just been concentrating on people in our past and how to let go.
123 could stop the people who have the negative values and qualities from entering into our life right at the beginning? How much easier would your life be if you had stopped the negative influence from coming into your life in the first place? That’s what successful people do. They don’t weigh themselves down with something they don’t want in their lives. Successful people figure that they can use the energy they would’ve consumed dealing with negative people in much more beneficial ways. In the same sense, you must determine what qualities you want in a woman and what qualities you simply will not put up with. This let’s you deal with that “internal loss” feeling immediately. You can “give up” those women that don’t fit the criteria with the confident knowledge that you will get something better. Successful people from all walks of life have told me that if you expect more from the universe you will get it. If you expect mediocrity you will get it. If you expect trouble you will get it. In the process of changing what you want from the universe, the universe will test you. Once you determine what you do want and what you don’t want, you can bet your bottom dollar that you will be tested. What do I mean? If you say to yourself, no matter how beautiful a woman is, if she has this quality or that quality, I’m not letting her in, it probably won’t be a few days before she is knocking at your door - testing you! You must stay firm in your commitment. If you do, you can be assured that what you want will also come knocking at your door.
124 The one common denominator between ALL - let me say that again – ALL successful people is persistence. They persist past their doubts, fears, and old beliefs. They persist into their new reality. After you have done it so many times, you begin to realize that it is just a matter of time. You no longer wonder if you WILL get what you want because you believe that you will. You know that it is just a matter of tests and time. So, my advice to you is to stick with it. Stick with this new reality that you want. Stay firm about what you do want and what you don’t want. But, be willing to refine the boundaries as you learn more about yourself and the world around you. Sometimes, when we think we are clear about what we want, we find out more information and realize our “reality” needs to be improved! Don’t be afraid to make changes!! Persistence and flexibility are the keys.
The Game of Seduction – Are You “All In”? Recently there has been a phenomenal growth in the interest of Texas Hold ’em Poker. People everywhere are playing it. It is on television – many channels and many times of the day! I find it to be extremely interesting and fun to watch. You get to see what separates the winners from the losers. It is psychology at its best. These people are under tremendous pressure and I find watching people under pressure to be quite interesting. It shows the true essence of who they really are. People can say I am this way or I am that way, but the proof is in the pudding.
125 Do you know what makes poker players successful? Their ability to throw in all their chips based on their belief that they have a winning hand. The excitement peaks in these games when a player says, “I am all in.” When everybody hears, “I am all in,” all the attention flows to the player who said it. These players are willing to put everything on the line without knowing the outcome. Let me say that again. The player that says, “I AM ALL IN” doesn’t know exactly how the hand is going to turn out. However, he is willing to risk everything to find out. He is willing to risk everything because there’s a possibility that he can double what he has – or maybe even more. His focus is not on what he can LOSE – it is on what he can WIN! The master poker player knows that there will always be another time to play and bet again. The cautious player just delays the inevitable – the ultimate loss. A cautious player never wins enough hands to ultimately win the tournament. Even when the cautious player has a winning hand, he loses because he did not bet enough to get anywhere. So the cautious player only gets to experience the field of play within a certain range and never gets to be in the exciting parts of the game. In the same sense, the cautious seducer never really gets the excitement of putting all his chips on the line. The master seducer is always putting himself “all in.” Women can tell that about a man. They want a man who is willing to put himself “all in” to a relationship with them. They don’t want caution to be a major part of your interaction with them. They want to see what you have. And the master seducer is not afraid to show them. He is so confident with himself that he puts all of himself out there for
126 everyone to see. The master seducer knows that there is much more to gain than there is to lose by putting “all in.” As a master seducer, the thing that will be first and foremost in your mind is your enjoyment of life. You will ask yourself, “Am I enjoying life to the fullest?” You will not be too concerned about what others think. You will know that the people that are attracted to who you are will be those that are best suited to be in your reality. You don’t consider what you might lose because you are already winning just by being “all in.” Women love a man that is independent. Women love the fact that a man has his own independence and loves life – even when they aren’t around. They love it because they know that the man is confident being who he is. The woman knows she is not responsible for getting him to be happy and independent. She knows it is not her energy that will be required to keep him there. She can see he has that quality within himself. That quality is extremely attractive to women.
Teri Tells: It is very refreshing to find a man that doesn’t NEED me to make him happy. In fact, if I don’t feel he NEEDS me to make him happy, I am more likely to do things for him that do make him happy. Needy is not a turn-on!
The cautious person usually has some kind of fear of success. He also has the same kind of fear of loss. Both of those fears keep him in the middle. The successful person and master seducer break through both the fear of success and the fear of failure and live an adventurous life. They say, “The biggest risk in life is not to take any RISK”! I once heard someone talking about the Beatles. He was talking about the fact that each album that the Beatles put out was the best they had at the time. Someone once asked John Lennon if he ever saved anything or held back something for the next album. John Lennon said something to this effect: We don’t know if we will be around for the next album so we give it everything that we have right now. We give it everything right now as if this is our last album and we are going to burn out after this album. Basically John Lennon was saying that while producing every one of their albums, they were “all in.” Think about that and think about how successful the Beatles were and are. It was because they didn’t hold back anything. They put everything they had into it as if it was going to be their last album. They wanted each album to be the best of who they were at the time. What a great concept.
Become a Laser Beam Instead of a Light Bulb With all this in mind, this may be the perfect time to talk about manifesting the woman or women that you want in your life. We all understand the concept of electrical outlets. If we need energy, we simply plug into an electrical outlet and energy is available for our use. We determine how were going to use that energy. We can plug-in a toaster or a television set. We can plug-in a computer or hairdryer. The same energy that flows in a light bulb can also flow in my stereo. In the same way, we have a certain amount of energy that is produced by our mind, body, and spirit everyday. We also must determine where that energy is going to be used. If we have scattered thoughts about something, it is wasting our energy. The thoughts are bouncing all over the place without any real purpose. If you are wanting to be a master seducer, you can’t afford to have your thoughts about women bouncing all over the place with no purpose! What a waste of energy!! I have found that most men do not have any idea about what they want in a woman besides beauty. A lot of men don’t even know how they define beauty; they just know it when they see it. This is not a very efficient way to use the energy. Think of scattered energy like the light of a high watt bulb. The light scatters all over the room and makes everything brighter but nothing is really in focus. Focused energy is more like a laser beam. No light is wasted on anything in the
131 own spin on it that is the most useful to you - a meaning that will serve you now and in the future! If I were in the situation of having a beautiful woman reject me, I would say these things: > I chose to have that happen to me to further my learning. > I chose to have these feelings to learn to deal with them, so the next time I will handle it better. When choosing what kind of woman you want in your life, it works the same way. You can live with the uncertainty of not knowing what kind of woman you will have in your life and always be wondering. Or you can determine the qualities and values and looks of the woman you want. I like the idea of having the frame of mind that I am in control and drawing her closer to me everyday. I am developing the qualities in me daily that are bringing the best possible match to me. Once you know what you want, you begin to send out a certain frequency that will attract the woman that most closely fits your description. Women that fit that description the best will begin to find you. PLUS, you begin to become more of the man that will draw that type and quality of woman. Read that again! It’s true!
Defining the Perfect Woman Here are a few basic questions that can help you define the kind of woman/women you want to bring into your life.
132 Do not limit yourself to how you answer these questions. Go deep inside to your heart of hearts and put down what you really want. Go “all in” with your answers. Leave nothing to chance. If you find out at a later time that you’ve left something out, feel free to go back and adjust it.
Don Juan says that he is seeing beyond what is beautiful to the eyes. He says he sees the glorious and wonderful in women. And then Don Juan says this most profound thing to his psychiatrist while explaining the seduction process. Don Juan says, “They sense that I search out the beauty that dwells within them until it overwhelms everything else and then they cannot avoid their desire to release that beauty and envelope me in it.” That about sums it all up! If we maintain our character, lose our fear of women, and see inside the woman like Don Juan does, you become a master seducer. While considering what I just said I want you to think about what it would be like if, number one, you thought about and looked at yourself like that. And, number two, if you’re perfect woman looked at you and saw you like that. Just considering those ideas will shift your reality!
Your “Character” in Her Fantasy In the movie, Depp was playing a particular character – that of a master seducer. His role affected all those around him.
So now that we have cleared away all the cobwebs of society’s values and beliefs about dating, we can create a reality that works for us without the fear that we might have experienced under the old rules of the game.
Why is it that women are so attracted to the adventurous and dangerous type of man? Why is it that women seem to be attracted towards some men that we might call jerks? After many years of studying the psychology of women and seduction and the theory of romance novels, I have come up with some ideas. These ideas may not be completely true or false because theories about people are simply not in black and white or totality. I only use them to help you gain understanding of what is going on inside the female fantasy mind. If you will begin to look at this fantasy mind as I do, I think you will get some benefit from it. We, as men, have a tendency to stay in one character. We like to experience who we are and don’t vary too much from it. We may have a tendency to identify with the sport star, or a movie star, but that’s about it. Our range of emotions is very small compared to a woman’s. Women have an extremely wide range of emotions available to them. Not only do they have a wide range of emotions available to them, they like to use them in real life. Women like to exercise and feel as many emotions as possible. Emotions equal life to women.
139 So if women have all these experiences and emotions that they can feel, and want to feel, then how do they do it? They are able to take the mental position and role of the person experiencing that emotion. So when they are reading a romance novel, they are experiencing the emotions from every character in the book. So let’s say one of the characters is a man, and he is the romantic hero of the novel or movie. If I were to read that same book I would identify with one character and stick to it. If it were a Western, I would find the strongest character and stick with it. I would have no empathy or feelings from the perspective of any other character. But women look at this differently. They not only identify with the heroine of the novel, they identify with the romantic hero. They actually pretend in their fantasy that they are also the hero. The women identify with both the male and female characters in the fantasy. They do this simultaneously. This means that when women read about the love scenes, they can go back and forth between being the one being made love to, and the one making love. Women aren’t just satisfied being made love to. They want the experience of making love, too. So in the context of a master seducer, you can bet your bottom dollar that the woman is going back and forth between her role and the role you are playing just as she does when she is reading a novel or watching a movie. The more powerful and meaningful you make your role, the more exciting it is for her, and the more she wants to play it with you.
140 She wants to seduce and be seduced at the same time. It doesn’t mean that her behavior will change, but in her mind she is acting out your role as well as hers. You will be seducing her in a way that she wants to be seduced. When we watch a movie that has a lot of adventure in it, we can identify with the character that is doing stunts that we would never do in our own lives. We can experience the emotion from our imagination and still be safe. We can pretend that we are the killer. We can pretend that we are the lover. We can pretend that we are the president. And still be safe in our seats. Well women look forward to that every chance they get. If you are somebody who has a sense of danger or risk, and she can experience that through you, without it affecting her directly, she will most likely take the opportunity to step into your character to experience it. She will get a sense of the power and the emotions that you feel from playing that character. So she gets some of the energy that you spill and project yourself, and she gets the experience and emotions from putting herself into your shoes. The juicier you make your role the better time she has! Now we can understand why women sometimes like to be around jerks. They get to experience what it would be like to be a jerk, without having to be one. And at the same time, they can be a victim in the eyes of the world because of how you treat them.
As a man you must know what the woman is up to. You must give her enough resistance to feel the challenge, and not too much resistance that she feels it’s impossible. Remember this is your game - this is your reality. You are letting her think that she is doing all the work. And you can give her a crumb now and then that lets her know its working. Don’t give her too much or you take her challenge away. Just keep her enough into the game to be an active participant. She gets a lot of value in believing that she has the ability to do this. If you don’t make the “game” exciting enough, she will make it exciting by causing problems elsewhere. If you don’t take control of the game and the roles that are being played, she will. And it may not be games that you will like. You must give her credit in direct and indirect ways, for playing both the male and female roles. The qualities that she has that come from the masculine side are her honor, her courage, her tenacity, her persistence. If she is taking on the role of a male in her mind, then we must acknowledge the qualities that she is developed from taking on that role. At the same time we must always acknowledge her feminine qualities of being kind and gentle and compassionate and forgiving.
Well that’s all it took. It wasn’t but a few days before she was thinking about going back with her husband who she had separated from six months earlier. She was so willing to let me go at that point, I think I could’ve gotten some money from her just to leave her alone. It was hilarious to me, how quickly she turned. I was once at a Barbara DeAngelus seminar. She is an expert on relationships. (Of course she has been married about six times. And one of those times to John Gray, the other famous relationship expert. Oh well!) I did get one profound piece of information from her. She said something to the effect that when women are in control of the relationship too much, and begin to act hostile towards the man, two things happen. The first is that the man starts to consider the woman in the mother role, and when a man considers a woman to be like his mother, he loses sexual attraction to her. What Barbara DeAngelus actually did was too put her finger straight up in the air, and then let it wilt or bend over, signifying a penis that has gone from hard to soft. There were over 1000 people in the room, mostly women, who started to laugh very loudly because they understood. The second thing that happens is that the woman being in the role of mother also loses sexual attraction towards the man. So if you consider the aspect of becoming a weak man and treating the woman like your mother, she will get turned off in a hurry and look for a way out - unless she never liked sex in the first place.
Words of Love Get You Laid! One of the other things that turn a woman off to a man is his inability to express his love to her verbally. Man basically likes to express it physically, and thinks that by the physical action she will get it. Wrong! I must say, absolutely wrong. Now the key is not to express this too much or too early in the relationship. Make her work for it. Give her little bits and pieces along the way, but make them small. One of the reasons women love to watch romantic movies and read romance novels is because they experience the romantic words from both sides. They not only get to hear the romantic hero tell them what they mean to him, from playing the heroine’s role, she also gets to experience what the man feels like telling her those things from his perspective. Words in the right way mean so much to women that it can’t be understated. Words are so much more powerful from a confident master seducer than a weak male. It is a need in most women that goes unfilled. I find that women will go to extraordinary lengths to hear words of praise or understanding or comfort or acknowledgment. Too much of a good thing will turn them off. Not enough words and they may leave. But just the right amount of words…….ah!
Teri Tells: The reason you should start small is because if you express your love in words too much in the beginning, she is going to think you are too nice or a needy wimp! Mark has already told you why this is not a good thing!
Action can express a caring and a certain meaning, but words, words can express the depth of meaning and emotion. Women want the words to be specific and persuasive; they want to know that your words carry weight also. They want to know that you specifically understand them and what they feel.
150 > And he keeps the tension, especially the sexual tension, at just the right heat. He knows the perfect temperature and timing for each woman. Even though most men do not like the drama that most women like, we must be able to create a sense of drama for them. We don’t necessarily have to feel it in our bodies, but we must be proficient at creating enough drama so that she sees us as a challenge and exciting. Enough of a challenge and exciting enough to tune in on Monday to see the cliffhanger resolved. On Monday she gets to see if her analysis is correct. And it doesn’t matter if it is her analysis of a soap opera or of YOU. The romance novel and the soap operas have an already made path in her mind and her emotions. You might as well use something that is a ready in existence instead of trying to form new pathways.
Teri Tells: I’m going to have to beg to differ. I love romance novels but I HATE soap operas. Soap operas move TOO slowly. I can begin watching one I haven’t seen in years and know what is going on in less than one show. Keep that in mind – some women don’t want things to move as slowly as a soap – some of us are more in tune with an adventurous romance movie!
I once asked a geologist about where to go to find gold. He told me that I should go where gold has already been found. He said, “You don’t go trying to find gold in new places. Use the maps that others have already plotted out - the maps where gold has been found.”
151 In the same sense, you want to use the methods of master seducers and how they get into the minds and hearts of women. They have discovered the routes already - the naturally occurring routes. Not only the naturally occurring routes in women, but they have discovered their own routes that are naturally occurring in themselves as men and master seducers. It is in all of us. We just have to find it. And it is much easier to use the maps of those who have found it before us. Why reinvent the wheel? Don’t have any master seducers around to ask? Another thing you can do is ask women what they find so appealing about romance novels and soap operas. Or you might want to get specific with them about certain shows or books that they really liked. When you find out that kind of information, you get pretty specific information about them. What that information does is identify major points of interest on her map. It is like looking at a map for a vacation where you have picked specific points interest that would be fun and exciting to visit. When you have plotted them out and planned your route, you don’t think about the points in between those places you want to visit. Your main energy and focus becomes where you’re going. And you begin to think about and fantasize what it’s going to be like. When you ask a woman questions about romance novels or soap operas or any drama for that matter, you begin to plot out her internal points of interest. Remember these points. They will become very useful to you if you decide to pursue any kind of relationship with her. Each of us has a different map and points of interest.
153 she begins to think about what those scenes mean to her, she can’t help but access the emotions. They will begin to rise in her. Once again, the more intense emotions you can have her access around you, the more chances are that her unconscious mind will figure out that you are the reason for those emotions. Then the unconscious mind finds ways of wanting you around to create more for her.
I have a friend who we will call John. John is a master at the implied message. He uses it very well to his advantage with women. You must realize that most women are not prepared for a man to be proficient with the implied message. Her defenses for seduction from a man are mainly prepared for the direct message. She doesn’t have defenses prepared for the implied seduction. Most of the people in her life that talk to her, or she talks to, in the implied way, are women or gay men. So John recently told me about an experience he had at work that demonstrates this process beautifully. He said that there was a hot receptionist that started to work where he does. He said he had gained some rapport from small talk and working with her. And he decided to begin a little bit of implied seduction. He said he had purchased some new cologne that day that he knew, from other women, was very sensual. So he brought the new bottle of cologne and a little tester strip to the new receptionist. He said he sprayed a little bit on the tester strip and then asked her if she would give him her opinion on when she thought he should wear it. He asked her, “Do you think this cologne is too strong to wear in an intimate setting with a woman or do you think it would be more appropriate to wear when I am taking her to a romantic dinner at such and such restaurant?” She tells him how wonderful it smells and that he should feel comfortable wearing it in any situation. During this interaction, he implies many things to the woman about who he is. He tells her through that question that:
155 > He cares about what she thinks > He will consider her opinions > he has an ability to choose quality things > He plans his intimacy > He likes to take women to romantic places > He is confident enough in his manhood to ask a woman her opinion about something personal > He is willing to adjust to please her, but not too much She implies back to him that she is interested in him in any situation. He then tells her that he feels some kind of connection with her and asks her if it is just him. She tells him is not just you. She tells him she feels it also. John said that she fanned her self as if she was hot and walked away. When a man talks around a subject instead of directly to a subject, it creates a tension between him and a woman that suggests intimacy. Plus, it shows that you are willing to dance with her in implied communication. Here is something you can try. If you are in an intimate setting with a woman, begin to talk about eating a piece of chocolate. First you want to tell her about what the chocolate looks like, then the smell of the chocolate, and how much you enjoy that smell. Then you want to tell her about the anticipation of the first bite. Then tell her about the feeling of the chocolate against your lips before you bite into it. Then you might want to tell her how the chocolate melts in your mouth and the texture of it when you swallow. Then the taste that is left in your mouth, and your anticipation of the next bite.
156 What do you think you would be implying to her about how you like to enjoy chocolate? A man might say, well that’s how I eat chocolate. But a master seducer knows that he is implying many things to her about his enjoyment of pleasure. The woman begins to put herself in the role of the chocolate. She imagines herself being enjoyed with that kind of passion. And the master seducer, while explaining how to eat chocolate, is really telling her how he is going to make love to her. I have used the chocolate metaphor along with others and have gotten amazing results. Many times the woman will ask the questions like; “Tell me how you will lick the icing off that cake again.” Or, “What will you be doing with your tongue while eating the chocolate?” She knows what she is asking me. And I know what she is asking me. But I continue to play the implied game because she is playing without any defenses. She does not have to take any social responsibility for talking about something like sex. But she can talk about sex all day long when she talks about things like chocolate or food. Or any process that parallels or mirrors pleasure. Another thing that John does intentionally is to always be the last one to finish his meals. He starts off eating at a regular pace, then he really gets into it, then he begins to slow down and take his time. Sometimes he will let the plate sit in front of him with a few morsels of food left on them. It is funny to watch the women around this.
157 At first they get curious about why he is taking so long. Then after the waitress has tried to take his plate several times and he tells the waitress, “No no, I am still enjoying this meal and savoring these last few bites,” the woman begins to feel the tension, and begins to wonder when he will finish it. I’ve heard women many times say to him, “Why you don’t just hurry up and finish it?” And John just looks at them directly and smiles with a smirk, and says, “Let me enjoy my meal, and I will finish what I am ready.” John has created a game that not only builds tension in women, but also it shows women the kind of lover he is in an implied way. That is his intent. And he keeps doing it until sure that the woman understands at an unconscious level. The whole time John never lets on directly what he is doing. As a matter of fact, I have seen women call him on that. And then I watch John deny it vehemently with a straight face. And then when the pressure and attention are at a peak, he gives them a boyish smile and looks straight at them. It is hard to translate the power of this kind of implication on paper. And it is amazing to watch in person. Another thing my friend John does to create tension in a woman is too tell her that he will be right back. He walks away from her and begins to talk to someone else in plain view of her. Woman or man or both. He stays a little bit longer than is comfortable, but not too long to upset her. Again another way to create sexual tension. If you think about the whole seduction process, it is really all implied.
158 Your confidence implies things about you. Your language implies things about you. The way you dress, the way you stand and hold yourself, the way you look at a woman, the way you smile, etc. etc., they all imply something about you to the woman. When you maintain your status as a strong man and at the same time learn to communicate in her language of implication, you become irresistible. I was brought up by a mother and grandmother that came from England. The English are well skilled and masters at implication. Watch any good English drama, and you will see and learn much about implication. Watch any James Bond movie and you will see the master of masters at implication. In fact, I highly recommend you watch any James Bond movie with Roger Moore. He exemplifies a master of implied seduction.
Men have a tendency to think big when it comes to love or seduction. They think that when they can buy the woman a new house or new furniture or a new car etc. etc., that then they can show the woman how much they care or love her. Sometimes a woman can get more meaning, and you’ll get more recognition, from a complement or a card, than you could get from a new set of furniture. The timeline for women is way too long when it comes to the big things. If you have a lot cash and can buy the big things all the time, that’s a different story. But women are very insecure and need some kind of smaller reassurance on a
We all have some kind of variance between in our behavior in different situations. It is the women who have a big variance, or a big shift, that we want to watch out for and have nothing to do with - unless you like to suffer. Always be on the look out for that hidden psycho. Try to smoke out that part of her before you have too much at stake.
161 moved her round made her look like she was floating on air. What I noticed was how all the other women were looking at him. Some of the women had tears in their eyes. That girl probably hadn’t been treated like that in a long time. Think about the implied message to all the other women in the room. He was sending a message that he was not blocked by their appearances. Many women know that when they get older they may not look as good as they do now. They may even gain some weight. And Collin showed them that they had nothing to fear if they were with him. When he got back to the table, the women were all over him. The heavy girl looked like a new person. She was changed after that. We all noticed her change in the seminar in the following days. But the other women had fallen for Collin much more. The best part of Colin’s seduction process is his poetry. Poetry is a beautiful way to get an implied message through directly to a woman’s heart. Poetry has no defenses in a woman. She will be wide open when you were reciting a poem. I have never seen a deeper trance, as a hypnosis therapist, than what some of the women experience when Collin was reading them poetry. Most of the poetry was his. He had memorized all of it. And because he had memorized it, he was able to look at them in the eye, and access his emotions while reciting it. He didn’t have to read it from paper and not
engages her with his eyes and his body when he recites poetry. She probably feels www.SeductionCode.com
like she is the only person in the room when he looks at her that way. I’ve never Contact Mark at [email protected]
met Collin, but just knowing he makes such intense eye contact while reading poetry makes me want to!
162 pay attention to them. He could fully put his attention on them because it was memorized. I am telling you the effects that this man had on women with his poetry is incredible. It reminded me of some of those dreamy eyed teenagers in the movies when they see a rock star or Brad Pitt. They really look like that. I watched their eyes glaze over and get glassy. Signs of a deep trance! They made different sounds like oohs and ahhs, and pleasurable moans. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. And I saw it happened many times in many different contexts with many different women. It worked every time. I remember being out at a restaurant with all the members from the seminar. It was funny watching different groups of women trying to get Collin’s attention at different tables. He was going from table to table telling poetry. They surrounded him like little girls would surround their father waiting to tell them a story. And the funny thing is, Collin would treat them like they were little girls, or little children, he was telling a story to.
164 looking at a woman like this will dramatically affect her. The women will notice right away what you are doing. They may not consciously get it, but trust me something deep inside of them will get it. Something deep inside of them will feel it. You don’t wanna hold onto the 25-year view for too long at first. You want to give her a taste of it, and then taken away. When you’re touching her with the 25-year view, imagine that you are touching her like a silk nightgown or lingerie might gently touch her body. You’ll need to determine how quickly and how often you hold that in your mind and body while looking at her. Each woman will be affected at a different level. This technique is very powerful.
WARNING: Do not do this too long to woman that you don’t consider as a long-term possibility. Interaction of Seduction One of the main things we accomplish with the play and interaction of seduction is the process of bringing out the most meaningful aspects of ourselves in the other person. Seduction creates a wonderful context for us to learn about our deepest identity as lovers. It is a way for us to keep being fulfilled. It is a context that works on the fulfillment of those deeper emotions simultaneously. It is the idea of sharing that depth with someone else in your presence.
And then think about how different and better the world looked afterwards. I think of how parents of a newborn see the world differently. When you go through those peak emotions simultaneously with a woman, it is like a contract between the two of you. You now both can view the world from the deep place you have both created. You both agree to explore your deepest identities together. You agree to make a safe fun and exciting place for the other one to explore that side of themselves, and they agree to do that for you. Now just imagine if we are able to do that with many emotions in many different contexts. We are giving a woman a chance to experience her world through her best possible emotional and physical eyes. We are adding immense value to her life. That is what we have to offer as master seducers. That’s what women ultimately buy. It’s not about the looks; it’s not about the money. It’s all about the quality of the emotional life we can offer her. She gets to experience it as she really is. We help her fulfill that longing she has. What we are doing in actuality is creating the emotions in her that we want to experience ourselves. We are not trying to create the emotions directly. But through indirect finesse, we trigger all the elements within her that create an end result we want to be around. It is the emotion that we want aimed at us. So, we not only benefit her, we create an emotional context that she is freely willing to give to us.
169 the man and tells him that she did not wave the ship down because she didn’t want to leave the situation that they had. He slaps her and tells her that he makes all decisions and that she better let him know and make the decision next time. She smiles at him, kisses his hand, and apologizes and says she will never do it again. At a later time, another boat begins to go by. She sees it and does nothing, but as she looks up on the top of the hill she sees him noticing the boat also. He immediately begins to start a fire to let the boat know where they are. She runs to where he is and begs him, while crying, not too do this. She vehemently defends them staying right where they are. She says she has never been happier in her life, and knows she will never be as happy again back in society. She says she knows the reason she was created to be a woman was to serve him and that she didn’t want to give that up. Now if you want to find out what happens at the end of this movie you’ll have to get it!!! This movie shows the dramatic change in the woman when the man decides he is going to be who he really is. His strength in that position caused her to have to adjust. Because she did not know what was in store for her, she fought it. But once she discovered what was waiting for her, she immersed herself in the role. Now here is the key. She received a biological reward for that behavior that was totally intoxicating to her - or any woman for that matter.
If you keep your attention on the underlying theme and adjust your behavior for the social culture you are in, you will find yourself triggering in yourself and in women the feelings nature has built into us to be drawn into procreation. In our terms it is about lust and love. It is about how we get to the ends.
What this does for you in the seduction process is twofold. The first thing it does is take your attention away from your fear. It has an amazing ability to do that, even though it sounds simple. The next thing that happens is that when you do a body scan, you begin to relax. That is why we use it in hypnosis. It creates a focus of attention on your body. And when you are in your body, and out of your head, you begin to relax. With some practice, the process will become automatic. And with this loss of fear, and gaining of relaxation, you can begin to decide to feel the feelings of a master seducer. Remember to take one step at a time. Too big of a bite or chunk will cause you to shut down. But if you practice these techniques one at a time, you will find that before you know what it will happen automatically, and you can think about other things. It is just like learning your ABCs, or tying your shoe, or driving a stick shift car. At first, it consumed all your senses and thoughts. But progressively, as you stuck with it and were persistent, it became unconscious. And now like some people on the highway, they can listen to the radio, they can talk on the cell phone, they can put on makeup, they can eat, and still drive. Just think about all the things you’ll be able to do while carrying on a conversation with the woman that you could never do in the past. Trust me it is worth a little bit of effort. The benefits of practicing these techniques and learning this process, far outweighs the cost. You will understand it better once you have succeeded a few times.
Take the risk of interacting with women, today. You can't get rid of the risk. So take it. Let the genie out of the bottle, and something unexpected and truly cool can happen in your life. Best of luck guys, keep going!!