NEWS EXCLUSIVE! THERE’S EXCLUSIVE! THERE’S AN EARTHQUAKE FAULT RIGHT THROUGH YOUR HOME P. 72
TRENDS:
XPLAINER
UBER, #HASHTAGS, FIXED GEAR, A T R PU B AL L T H AT
HOW TO SCORE ON
INDER OkCupid SNAPCHAT
BABES IN BUSINESS
THEY MAKE MORE MONEY THAN WE DO
C I N DY M I R A N D A
MAN-FEARS EROTIC LIT NISSAN GT ACADEMY AERIAL DRONES ANTIFRIENDZONE TIPS
DA N I EL L E C A STAÑ O
QUEENIE REHMAN
BOMB SQUAD
T HE HE N
. 1 MA MA
A ZI ZI NE NE IN IN
HE PHILIPPINES
18+ I
CONTE NTS ARE NO T A B LE F R MIN R
A BEAUTY QUEEN EXPLOSION!
TESTING THE MANHOOD OF WALLY BAYOLA
INSPIRING
ENGAGING
IGNITING
W W W. S U M M I T M E D I A . C O M . P H
CONTENTS 10/15
40 S A N E R A S I U O L , N A N A D I H A I M E R E J : S N O I T A R T S U L L I ; E D N E U Q A I D I E H , O J C E P N O L R A M C O D : Y H P A R G O T O H P
THREE QUEENS Cindy Miranda, Dani Castaño and Queenie Rehman ditch the sash and don our version of ‘evening wear’
62 #INTERNETHISTORY
76 FIRST TIMERS
Know your memes from your emojis
GUIDE
66 BABETREPRENEURS
Good-looking business prospects from goodlooking babes 72 THE WEST
How to make losing your V-card an enjoyable experience 80 WALLY BAYOLA
How manly can a man who dresses up as a lola onscreen be? Hint: Very...
VALLEY FAULT
And why it’s giving the PHIVOLCS atlas team a sinking feeling...
82 PRINCESS LEGASPI
She ain’t prissy despite the name 88 MIRTLE GIMENO
Well-spoken hotties are hard to find, so here's one for you
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OCTOBER 2015
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CONTENTS 10/15
STARTER 12 MELISSA PAULO
She's the kind of girl we all wish to meet on vacation
24 KINK LITERATURE
36 BEA VALERO
Porny reading you can get away with even while at work
No B.V. with this super leggy EDM artist
26 HOW TO SCORE
What kind of angry bearded man are you?
38 HUGH JACKMAN
16 SEGWAY
E-HOOKUPS
If you don't know how to ride a bike, here’s a geekier option for selftransportation
Step 1: Swipe right on our handy guide
18 SUM 18 SUM OF ALL MANFEARS
As Heneral Luna would say: “Mga duwaaaaag !” !”
How one man steered his way into an actual racecar thanks to mad gaming skills
STYLE
110 GET SHINY
28 LADIES’
93 O’NEILL
CONFESSIONS
Steal the post-surfing look if you’re afraid of wiping out
Turn your teeth into pearly whites
The fairer sex talk dirty deeds once again
GNASHERS
112 HOW I DID IT 94 FASHIONABLE 94 FASHIONABLE
ACCESS
HALLOWEEN IDEAS
Your next business plan: Mi casa, su casa !
20 BAR ROOM JOKES
32 GAME JAM
Guaranteed to work, even in non-bar settings
The triumphant return of Rock Band and Band and Guitar Hero
Pretend that your skinny black pants are a costume and not a fashion experiment
LOUNGE
34 THE NOTEBOOK
100 SLEEPOVER 100 SLEEPOVER SWAG
116 TRUE STORIES
Don’t underestimate how much chicks dig stationery
Nights with the boys need not look like a caveman club
Have you ever heard about an unfortunate motorboating mishap–on land?
22 WINGWOMAN 22 WINGWOMAN
Divine guides you out the dreaded quagmire known as the friendzone
GIRLFRIEND
34 GOOSEBUMPS THE MOVIE
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114DRONE 114DRONE ARMY
Spy on your neighbors with these aerial scouts
102 CRISTINE ELLE
Jack Black helps us relive childhood terrors
4
UPGRADE 104 VIRTUAL 104 VIRTUAL REALITY
Tough love from this Brooklyn girl
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w w w. f h m . c o m . p h
T H E T E A M : W H A T F H M e r s H A V E B E E N U P T O T H I S M O N T H
I S B R O U G H T T O Y O U B Y. . . Team Editor Allan A. Madrilejos Managing Editor Allan P. Hernandez Art Director Paul C. Villariba Associate Editor Alex C. Paita Associate Art Director John Laurence O. Patulan Senior Features Editor Khyne L. Palumar Assistant Style Editor Mikey Ashlie L. Mahinay Editorial Assistants, Pong M. Castillo, Chise A. Alcantara Celebrity Coordinator Allan Altera A N D F U T U R E - P R O O F E D B Y. . . Managing Editor BA Borleo Associate Section Editor Gelo G. Gonzales Senior Staff Writer Ron Jay B. Eduvas Staff Writer Neps N. Firmalan, John Paulo Aguilera,
Mary Rose A. Hogaza Video Production Specialist Engelheart V. Jarilla WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM... Words Divine Maitland-Smith, Anthony Teasdale, Jim Butler, Mikey Agulto, Wayne Tulio, Toni Antiporda Illustrations Louis Arenas, Mikke Gallardo, Mady Marcelino, Jeremiah Idanan, Gilbert Daroy, Juno Abreu Pictures
Rey Trajano, Mike Dee, Ejay Leung, Mark Jesalva, Heidi Aquende, Weng Barleta, Artu Nepumuceno, Ria Regino, Kurt Alvares, Jonathan Baldonado Styling/Makeup/Hair Krystal Rence, Emmanuel Hernandez II, Lei Ponce, Anne Castaño, Tina Luong, Janina Dizon, Amanda Padilla, Jessica Fang, Bela Vitug, Debra Bernales, Badj Genato, Genie Babista F H M I N T E R N A T I ON A L N E T W O R K International Director Simon Greves International Digital Director Gary Broughton International General Manager Mark Beard International Digital Manager Graham Kirk International Content Executive Ryan Chambers International Digital & Content Executive Erin Viljoen International Technical Administrator John Goodchild International Editors (Australia) Guy Mosel, (China) Jacky Jin, (Czech
Three beauty queens in one shoot–Illuminati confirmed? The FHM crew makes use of some selective lighting to look presentable next to these leggy ladies.
Associate Editor Alex rides off into the sunset in style at the Nissan GT Academy finals. It’s been a long day, without you my friend...
Ash and JL put their card game addiction to good use by sweating it out as extras for this month’s fashion editorial.
FHM ’s
International Publisher Gareth Cherriman visits our part of the globe, and snaps a pic at our office’s super dependable brick wall. 6
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Editorial Assistant Chise ensures his regularization gets signed by treating the team to dinner. Thanks! We eagerly await your birthday!
Republic) Dalibor Demel, (France) Laurent Giraud, (Germany) Hans Fuchs, (Holland) Sander Kersten, (India) Kabeer Sharma, (Indonesia) Richard Sam Bera, (Latvia) Sandris Metuzals, (Malaysia) Rajesh Taluar, (Norway) Martin Thronsen, (Philippines) Allan Madrilejos, (Romania) Paul Breazu, (Russia) Slava Rovner, (Singapore) David Fuhrmann Lim, (Slovenia) Uros Majcenovic, (South Africa) Hagen Engler, (Spain) Rafael Benitez, (Taiwan) Saffron Lee, (Thailand) Jakaphatchara Buranabutr, (Turkey) Berk Iybar, (UK) Joe Barnes SUMMIT MEDIA President Lisa Gokongwei-Cheng Publisher Edna T. Belleza VP for Operations Hansel dela Cruz Junior Associate Publisher Aeus Kevin Reyes Digital Publisher Adel De Jesus Deputy Group Digital Publisher Amina Rillo Web Business Operations Manager Dennison Ko Web Programmer Christopher Porto Production Director Elizabeth Rellis Assistant Production Manager Jane M. Puno Production Coordinator Arnel Laigo Production Graphic Artist Louis Arenas Administrative Services Manager Whilma M. Lopez Admin Assistants Michiel Lumabi, Marlyn Miguel A D V E R T I S I N G Group Advertising Director Florence Bienvenido Adv. Director-Key Accounts Group Regie Uy Adv. Mangers Maiza G. Mueco Key Account Specialists Joey Anciano, Junn de las Alas, Alex Revelar, Annie Santos, Suzette Tolentino Senior Account Manager (Print) Ginger Taduran, Bem Caharian, JJ Dinglasan Senior Account Manager (Digital) Lucas Reyes Junior Account Managers (Print) Melinda Kitane-San Diego, Junior Account Managers (Digital) Onnie Del Mundo, Dianne Suegay, Angela Lagahid, Adv. Executive Assistant Rita Barbacena Key Accounts Assistants Maricel Adaniel, Ashley Balla, Chinggay M. Cabit Adv. Assistants Lorena Santiago Adv. Traffic Supervisors Eliziel del Rio, Myra Gorospe EVENTS DEPARTMENT Assistant Marketing Manager: Leah H. Basco Jr. Marketing Associates: Sirius Langkay, Gladys Lapitan, Siena Mirano,
Kieffer Albert Nonato, Abigail Pinili MEDIA RELATIONS Media Relations Manager Grace Enriquez Media Relations Associate Nicole David TRADE MARKETING Trade Marketing Officer Candace Lobendino Sr. Trade Marketing Associates Caz Marino Trade Marketing Associate Kamille Guirnalda Trade Marketing Ass. Jamie Islo, Angelica Anne Casacop, Daryl Lincod Jr. Trade Marketing Project Coordinator Patric Malicdem C R E A T I VE S O L U T I O N S Team Art Director Jaykee Evangelista Copywriter Miguel Escobar Digital Art Director Rey Etable Associate Art Director Jerome de Dios Carlo Maala Senior Web Designer Teddy Gar cia Producer Tara Llavore CIRCULATION Circulation Manager Alma M. Madelo Deputy National Circulation Manager Glenda Gil Circulation Manager-GMA Alaine Mae Lozada Provincial Sales Manager Alexis Martinez International Distribution Specialist Ulyssis Javier Distributors Group Head Caroline Herrera Key Accounts Group Head Malou Rubinos Subscriptions Group Head Hanna Montecer Circulation Supervisor Mary Fatima Flores Systems Administrator - Interactive Editions Rico Cruz, Ron Silang Key Accounts SpecialistVivian Manahan, Charlotte Barlis, Noreen
EA Chise striking a robotic pose during an outdoor event, if only he was as mechanically efficient at working...
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Hardest working dad, BA, celebrated the baptism of baby Clarisse this month.
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Sescon-Peligro, Jinky Rose Calugtong, Jennifer Tolentino, Jenny Reparep, Lhon Bituin, Nathaniel Embiado, Felix Tong II Distributor SpecialistNorth Luzon Mark Elliot Villola Distributor Specialist-Central Luzon Gian Carlo Peralta Distributor Specialist-Central Visayas Robert Revilla Distributor Specialist-Western Visayas Ivan Dela Pena Distributor Specialist-Central Mindanao Eric Ferdinand Gasatan Newsstands Supervisor Joel Valdez Sales Representative-GMA John Lakhi Celso, Edward Caringal, Anjelyn Joy Carino Subscription Coordinator Jofet Abad-Legaspi, Joyce Ann Ramos, Raquel Lorenzo Distribution Account Analyst May Ann Ayuste Circulation Administrative Assistant Marjorie Abueme Circulation Administrative Assistant Elnie Marie Santos Export Sales Assistant Legui Brylle Gonzales Telemarketer Michelle Jayin, Ruby Rose Frias
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LETTERS 10/15
Get in touch!
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INSTAGRAM@ FHMPHILOFFICIAL
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6F & 7F ROBINSONS CYBERGATE CENTER TOWER 3 PIONEER COMPLEX, PIONEER ST., MANDALUYONG CITY 1550
GOTTA CATCH ’E M ALL! I am a late collector of your magazine and I always make it a point to collect all the back issues whenever I see them on the stands, especially the old and classic ones. I recently bought seven issues, the ones with Angelu De Leon, Sheree, Asia Agcaoili, Maureene Larrazabal, Rufa Mae Quinto, Andrea Del Rosario, and Belinda Bright and Michelle Estevez as their covers. I noticed that my copy of March 2003 came with a free poster then it hit me, why not bring back giving out free posters of your cover girls every month? Plus do another wild fiction story (maybe the new generation of El Gimikero?) and more freebies we can win! I know this will be a hit. P.S. Your September issue with Yam on the cover is just the right amount of sexy, even though I enjoyed her first cover more. Keep up the good work FHM ! Keneth Dave Fajilan, Batangas, via email
GALLERY
Finally I have a copy! #FHMYamWildAndFree Autograph na lang ni @yamconcepcion ang kulang ! Kailan kaya ako magkakaroon? Merlyn Macalanda via Twitter
SORRY! I’ve been an avid fan of your magazine for a while now, but your September issue was top notch! It gave me multiple eye-gasms by featuring my favorite babes Yam Concepcion and Ann B. Mateo! The cherry on top of everything was seeing my favorite band Queso being featured as well (Although, you mixed certain band members name on your magazine)! Your September issue is definitely for keeps! Ann Fernandez via email
8 FH M OCTOBER 2015
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Date night with @yam_concepcion #fhmyamwildandfree #fhmphilippines #fhmph #fhm #instapic thethorlanes via Instagram www.fhm.com.ph
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
WE L OVE YO U TO O! Hey, FHM team! I will celebrate my birthday this October 1 and I hope that you can save some room for my letter in your great magazine. By the way, your September issue is a bam. Hindi talaga kayo nauubusan ng surpresa para as aming mga readers. Job well done po! Naka-attach po yung picture ng tropa ko . Mga adik din sila sa FHM kagaya ko . I love you guys! Jay Ulibas, via Facebook
NOT EVEN MAD! We would appreciate it if you could publish this picture taken in Amsterdam with the most gorgeous photo bomber ever. Capt. Jo-Plaz, via email
SMALL AND DE FIN ITELY NOT TERRIBLE I’m an avid fan of FHM , and those sexy girls featured in your mag are my inspiration. I am now 24 years old and it will be my first time to show off my abs. I’m a Libra, 4’8” in height, and I have the same vital stats as Debbie Garcia and Sheric Ranning (32-23-33)—the ladies featured your FHM Gravure No. 2. I am hoping to see my photo on one of your issues. It’s my birthday on October 3; and seeing my photo on your mag again will be a great gift. Keep it up FHM , I really learn a lot from your mag. Thank you! Georgina Lalaine Antang, via email
#FHMYAMWILDANDFREE
tweets Isolation is not your concern, being simple is your beauty #yamsimpleandsexy #FHMYamWildAndFree pogi222
@carlajenina @carlajenina Salamat at nahanap ko na ang official Twitter account mo. #CarlaOnFhm @FHMPhil #fhmyamwildandfree alvin_balisacan
birthday gift please tong september issue #FHMYamWildAndFree #FHM #YamConcepcion yam_concepcion… akosikeenkong
10 FH M OCTOBER 2015
SOM EONE’S LYING My lovely wife and I are celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary this year and I would love to surprise her with this photo. We’re big fans of your magazine. You can even ask Pinocchio. The manager via email
FIVE MONTHS COMING My wife and I celebrated our anniversary last June 19 and it has been our tradition of sending you a photo hoping it would get published in your magazine. I guess you haven’t noticed, but we’ve been making it for at least four years in a row now! Sadly, the streak ended this year when we didn’t get our photo posted last July. Better late than never, right? Arvin via email
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W I S D O M YO U SHOULDN’T LEAVE
HOME
WITHOUT
T PHOTOGRAPHY: R EY TRAJANO I N T E R V I E W : A S H M A H I N AY STYLING: JESS ICA FANG H A I R A N D M A K E U P : K R Y S TA L R E N E E
They say movies can take you places, but what do you do when it’s always the same cities getting blown up or invaded onscreen again and again? Well, you can take the lead from actress and model Melissa Paulo–she loves to pack her bags and explore. Sometimes solo. Yes men, girls as hot as her do actually travel without an impenetrable pack of wing women–but don’t think for a second that you are the draw of the destination…
Take me out Feeling wanderlust-y with Melissa Paulo
The first thing that popped up when we stalked–erm, Googled you is that you were in Star Trek Into Darkness! I had a small cameo in the film opposite Chris Pine. I had auditioned for another project. They called and asked if I would come in and shoot a bar scene in Star Trek. It was a very last minute, fun, and easy shoot. We wish last minute stuff like that happened to us! Do you happen to be a Trekkie or sci-fi nerd? I am not a Trekkie, and not classically nerdy either. I do love to read! Mostly
books on spirituality–anything that helps bring me closer to my soul. Paulo Coehlo, Osho, Thich Nhat Hahn, Eckhart Tolle, the list goes on! Is acting your full-time occupation? Acting is my main career focus. Aside from work, I love to travel–we are only on this planet once, it’s important to me that I see as much of the world as I can! I just went to Tulum, Mexico for the first time and it was heavenly. When I am home, I love to be outdoors, to garden, go to the beach, hike, anything that brings me closer to nature.
Is your last name a sign of Filipino heritage by any chance? I am Filipino, Japanese, Danish, German, Swedish, and Irish! My dad is from Hawaii and my mother is from Nebraska. When on the move, do you always keep a travel buddy? I’ve traveled solo a few times. But for my last trip to Mexico, I went with a good friend who spoke Spanish! That made it a lot easier to get around. I like to travel with friends who are adventurous and up to try new things.
‘I am Filipino, Japanese, Danish, German, Swedish, and Irish! My dad is from Hawaii and my mother is from Nebraska’ 14
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Local guys often want to talk to the hot chick from out of town, especially if she’s not with another dude. What is your opinion on this? I think it’s always nice to be complimented when it’s done tastefully; but when you are an out-of-towner, I think it’s an assumption that you are just looking for a good time so guys can be a little more aggressive. It’s attractive if a guy is more elusive, if he is too eager, it can be a turn off.
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Personally, I am not usually looking for love when I travel or go out but I think my best advice for guys when hitting on a girl is if you catch her looking at you more than twice, it’s a universal invitation to say hi! You mentioned being close to nature as well, does that mean you aren’t afraid to get dirty? I am definitely not afraid to get a little dirt under my nails! My mom always says, “A little dirt don’t hurt.” I recently jumped off a cliff and ziplined. It was amazing! Are you the type to travel spontaneously without a set plan? I prefer to be more spontaneous than to overly plan. Plans create too many expectations; I’d rather go with the flow. Fortunately, I’ve never had anything go horribly wrong traveling. I am quite the nap taker though, so once I did fall asleep at the airport and totally missed my flight, but it wasn’t a big deal I just laughed at myself and caught the next flight out, ha ha! On the flipside, what’s a good reason for you to stay put? What tempts you to stay indoors for a while? I love relaxing days/nights in. I love to
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light candles, burn incense, order Thai takeout, and watch Netflix. I’d take that over a night on the town any day, ha ha! And if its raining, that makes it all the better. A cuddle buddy and fire going would be icing on the cake. For fun, let’s say you’re on a trip, and all your bags are about to fall off a boat and into the water! You can only save one item, what would it be and why? This actually happened to me, ha ha! I was in Thailand with some friends taking a dingy from a yacht to an island and someone jumped off. It put the boat off balance and it completely tipped over and we all fell off! I had my purse on me and I tried to keep it above water but everything got soaked. I lost my phone, my camera, and my wallet was drenched–I wasn’t able to save anything! If I could have a do over, I would have definitely saved my phone, there were so many pictures on it and I was out of conta ct with the world for the rest of the trip. As much as I enjoyed being off the grid, I know my mom–who I talk to everyday–was worried when she didn’t hear from me! FH M
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starterr ide
Ridin’ nerdy
WORDS:
CHISE ALCA NTARA ILLUSTRATIONS:
LOUIS ARENAS
How to keep your swag intact while riding a Segway
The not-so-wide open road, the wind blowing through your hair, and the slight whizzing of the engine–that’s the Segway life. Let’s be honest here, cruisin’ down the street on a Segway probably isn’t going to be the swaggiest thing ever because, really, you’re just standing on a step with wheels on it while wearing a dorky helmet. A lot of people say that it’s impossible to look good on a Segway, so we decided to take on that challenge by making up our own stylish tricks to pimp out even the wimpiest rider. Let’s ride!
G e t s w e r v i n g !
C lub Int ra mur os Golf C our se act uall y of fe r s t he fir st 3-in -1 Segw a y T our a v ailable in t he P hilippines–T h e Nav igat or . Y ou can ear n y our w heels b y pr act icing on t h eir Segw a y t ra ck , t hen y ou can t a k e a t our ar oun d Int ra mur os t o lear n mor e about it s hist or y . Y ou can ev en put y our golf bag on a S egw a y lik e a min i golf car t , so y o u can r ide acr o ss t he f air wa y in st y le.
No hands titanic
If it’s your first time riding a Segway, it’s guaranteed you’ll try this move once that you feel like you’ve gotten t he hang of the basics. Channel your inner Rose and let go of that handle bar. Lean forward as far as you can (this will speed up the Segway) and feel like you’re flying. Just make sure you keep your mouth shut if you don’t want any bugs flying in there. 16 FH M OCTOBER 2015
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Donuts
Relive your childhood of spinning on those cool office chairs with this really easy (you just lean in the direction you want to rotate to) and useful maneuver. Perfect for perfect 360-panoramic shots or just taking a while to take in the scenery because, damn, these things turn slowly.
Safety first The guy s from Segway Philippines and Clu b Intramuros Golf Course s h o w e d t he F H M team Segway basics s o w e w o u l dn ’ t topple each other down like bowling pins
Drunk driving (snaking)
While we really don’t advise swerving on any other vehicle, it’s just so much fun to do on the Segway (and this is probably the coolest looking thing to watch on video). Just while leaning forward, shift your weight from left to right to left to right…you get the idea. You’ll create a cool optical illusion making your body look more “bendy” than it is.
Don’t mess with other segways
Platforming
Whenever you want to do some off-trail riding, you’ll have to transfer to an either lower or higher surface. To do this, you have to make sure both of the Segway’s wheels transfer at the same time, so your Segway has less chance of tipping over. You can actually ride downstairs on it if you have enough stability and leg strength; going up, though, we still think the elevator is the better option.
They have a safety feature installed that causes them to vibrate whenever they are too close together. No bump-Segways, boo…
Just relax The Segway can smell your fear. Don’t panic if you lose your balance a bit, it will just make things worse.
Getting off Find a wall or something sturdy, then lean the wheels on it so you can have a sturdier dismount. One foot at a time, guys!
The lean back
While this move requires some balance and confidence (not advised for people who have trust iss ues) it’s probably one of the smoothest moves you can pull off on this machine. Slowly tip your weight behind you until you feel the Segway start going in reverse—now just pull up your pants and do the rockaway…lean back, lean back, lean back.
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OCTOBER 2015 FH M 17
Flying ipis
Spiders
s t a r t e r l i s t
The sum of all man-fears You can’t scare u s with all that horror bullshit. But many of th e toughest among us w i l l scream like girls when f aced with tru e evil
WORDS:
ALLA N HERNANDEZ MODEL PHOTOGRAPHY:
MIKE DEE
It’s not the tarantulas or any of the hairy, poisonous ones— they’re house pets. We mean the hideous gagambang bahay , the one that lurks in a dark corner wall of, say, your dingy toilet, and as you sit on the throne, you look up and there it is... aaaahhhhhhh!!!
We know we can just step on them and crush them to a pulp—but they’re on the wall! And when you creep up to them, they fly right into your face so that you have to jump around and brush it off you...like a girl.
S e x u a l c on f u s i o n late in the game
What do we mean by this? You’re in your mid-30s, you’re made, probably about to get married to the girl you’ve been with for 12 years, and then one day—you find out it’s men you like. We feel the fear creeping up to you now...
Frogs
Again, not really the evil-looking kind—they are, in fact, exciting. It’s the wet, corpulent palakang bato that’s out in the streets on rainy days that is kadiri . Dude, as in!
Hypodermic needle
We can live with gangrene, or losing a limbs, just don’t let us sit beside a nurse with a needle. We lose all sense of shame.
Rats
Have you seen sewer rats the size of cats? We have. And they were not in the sewer—they were on our kitchen sink. Sorry, we lived in a literal mancave then. Or maybe you're more afraid of the little ones that you have to shriek and jump up a chair...again, like a girl.
Your G F is pregnant
Test says yes. You say NOOOO!
Dogs (the nanghahabol kind)
Look, man, just don’t let us near an askal that looks you in the eyes, and with that slow growl that rises in pitch as you get near. Tatakbo talaga kami!
starter
DIRTIEST JOKE
SK NH E OWS
O D R A L L A G E K K I
Girl: Condom ka ba? Boy: Bakit ? Girl: Kasi, I don’t feel
safe without you. Jean, videographer
M : N O I T A R T S U L L I
Send us your funniest jokes at Facebook.com/ fhm.ph
BAR R O O M JOKES Who you calling corny?
Bad blood A young man finds the perfect girl in his village he wants to marry. He asks his father for his blessings, but the father tells him that he was screwing around in his youth, and that the girl he wants to marry is, in fact, his sister. The young man, devastated but still wanting to get married, asks his father if he could marry his next-door neighbor’s daughter instead. The father tells him with an apologetic tone that she is also his sister. The young man storms out crying and finds his mother outside. She asks him what’s up and he tells her the story. She tells him with a motherly soft voice: “Son, go marry any girl you want. That man is not your father.” BuddWiser, v ia Facebook
20 FH M OCTOBER 2015
A punch in the gut A man and his wife arrive at a class reunion after a grueling fourhour drive. They’re given nametags and head to the gymnasium. They just started to talking with some friends when the wife gets thirsty. She asks her husband to go get in line to get her some punch. He returns after 10 minutes with one empty cup. The wife asks about her drink and the husband replies, “Sorry, honey, the punch line was too long and it wasn’t even that good.” Metapod, via Facebook
“Maglaro tayo ng kahit ano, wag lang taguan. ’Cause a girl like you is impossible to find.”
EddieWow, via Facebook
SouthSide, via Facebook
Trippy puns I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with but I have been tripping all day. Kabitsera, via Facebook twitter.com/fhmphil
BinayLover, via Facebook
PutaheSaAlak, via Facebook
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall down a cliff… Ba-dum-tss!
“Sana naka-off ang ilaw, para tayo na lang ang mag-on.” “Para kang holdaper. Lahat ibibigay ko sa ’yo, wag mo lang akong saktan.”
Death sounds
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BARRIO JOKES
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“Nakalunok ka ba ng kuwitis? Kasi pag ngumiti ka…may spark!” Kalabit, via Facebook
“Pag wala ka, ang buhay ko parang lapis na hindi pa natatasahan: pointless.” MisterImpossible, via Facebook
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PREMIERE DOTTED
Condoms with raised pleasure dots for a more intense experience.
L O U N G E PHOTOGRAPHY:
EJAY LEUNG OF MIDNIGHT BONKERS STYLING: BELA VITUG HAIR AND MAKEUP:
ANNE CASTAÑO WINGWOMAN LOGO:
AUGGI E FONTANILLA
‘NICE GUY’ THINGS YOU’RE DOING WRONG AKA how not to get friendzoned. Our wingwoman gets you out of a tricky slump
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TO BE CLEAR, THIS ISN’T ABOU T BEING ANTI-NICE GUY It’s anti-being friendzoned. Nice guys are cool, and for me any ideal relationship starts out with friendship. It’s easier to transition from being friends to being more-than-friends from there. Being “friendzoned,” on the other hand, is different. You can be “nice” and women can confuse that niceness for friendship that won’t see the light of romance or naughtiness in your cards. Women and dating are complicated, I know. So let’s get to “un-complicating” things…
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N ’T YO U D ID S G IN H T B O UT K N OW A
A ITLAND DI VI NE M S M ITH
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WINGWOMAN
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DON’T “FR IEND” YOUR FRIENDS’ FRIENDS
Complicated, I know. But I always say, date girls outside of your close circle of friends. This way close friends and both parties’ mutual friends can’t get involved or affected in any way. This means less drama in the long run if things don’t work out. If it does, though…well, good on you both.
QUALITIES THAT KEEP YOU IN THE FRIENDZONE Lack of both physical touch and childish flirting
America culture shocks her
Touching her hair or shoulders (appropriately) is like sending out an advance party. It cues her that you’re on to something else.
Now that I think of it, this is such a strange answer, but I find that in all of my travels, it’s in the US where I’ve been most shocked, culturally. For instance, they serve insanely huge amounts of food there—and that’s just for a single serving! One time, it took my sister and my mother to help me finish a dish.
No sexual attraction
This is a hard one. I would suggest you gym up and be physically fit. You’re doing this for yourself. You have to be confident in your own attractiveness, and someone else will think the same. Not going for it
A girl can only think of you “as a friend” if you stay in her comfort zone. Don’t be scared to move past it. And if you really like her, don’t be scared to ask her out. Do it. Being forward without taking cues
On the other hand, don’t be too forward. Making her feel awkward and uncomfortable won’t be good for you both. Wait until you start feeling the right vibes—a smile, a laugh, a date proposal cleverly wrapped in a joke—before you go out swinging.
4 STRIKE THE PERFECT BALANCE! You’re either: 1. A perfect gentleman she can potentially flirt with; 2. Someone too nice and “just a friend;” 3. The guy who mixes it up and catches her attention N A M E L T N E G T C E F R E P
Opens doors, pulls out chairs, offers to foot the bill
Old school and simple, but necessary to score you brownie points.
Listens and is easy to talk with
A gentleman will rarely brag about himself, make good conversation; listen; get personal. Be a little silly; laughing puts people at ease.
Makes an effort
Stays cool
Basic grooming and hygiene apply. Also, there are always plus points if you know how to dress yourself. What I mean by this is, know what you like and know how to wear it to fit your body type.
If you had a terrible day or had a rough time heading to your date, don’t bother passing on the bad vibes to her with all the details. Talk light.
Sends out zero feelers
Flirting doesn’t make you a bad guy. Acting on your physical urges will make you (and her) feel more confident and curious to see what can possibly come next.
Too persist ent
Sometimes being persistent is considered a “good guy” quality because long pursuits are taken to mean lo yalty. But nobody wants to be pressured to do something they don’t want.
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SEX
Lessons from
PROPER EROTICA Sex-tinged books have gotten a bad rap in pop culture, no thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey . But there are useful tips from reads like these… WORDS: C HISE ALCANTARA PHOTOGRAPHY: MARK JESALVA
INDULGE HER WEIRD FOOD FANTASIES Reference: “Foreskin Crackling” by Nick Carbo from Eros PINOY Taken from the book: “She had this wild thought to dip my penis in a pot of Swiss chocolate…” Two things to consider: 1. The chocolate must not be hot; 2. If she’s going to swallow, what’s stopping you from getting a little beverage spilled over it?
DON’T JUDGE THEM BY THEIR COVERS
WHEN IN DOUBT, DON’T USE MARGARINE Reference: “Ang Tikbalang” from Cubao Pagkagat ng Dilim by Tony Perez
“Ang Tikbalang” is about a sexually insatiable “man” who goes through life having sex with countless women until they get sick of it—not the sex, but his different fetishes, one of which includes rubbing margarine all over their bodies.
GET H ER COMFORTABLE AND INTERESTED BEFORE GOING FULL BASTUSAN Reference: Little Birds by Anais Nin
About a man who feeds birds to attract schoolgirls— he earns enough of their trust to convince them to sleep with him. This is, of course, a criminal move, but replace “schoolgirl” with the actual woman you’re into (not a minor) and you’re set.
‘YOLO’ CAN BE A SEXUAL MOTTO, TOO Reference: Rough and Ready by Sandra Hill
Take it from Hill’s Rough and Ready —a book about time-traveling Navy SEALs turned Vikings who get it down with “women in distress.” The band of TNL protagonists in the book show what it truly means to be virile. Hey, You only live once.
Y O U R N E C K I S ALSO A MUSCLE— USE IT DO AS THE TREES Reference: “Pulotgata” by Danton Remoto from Pulotgata
Your environment has a lot to do with her mood. To quote from Remoto’s Pulotgata : “Sa labas, dinidilaan/ ng ulan ang mga puno./Ang hangin ay bumubulong/ Sa tainga ng mga dahon/Habang/ nakaupo ka sa akin…” Partake, then, in some nature-loving PDA.
Reference: KuBoRi KIKIAM : We heart short shorts In this episode of the online comic series, Dondon asks Edward how to lick carpets.
SINGLE WOMEN WHO LIVE ALONE ARE HORNY Reference: “Halinghing sa Hatinggabi ” by Mayette Bayuga in Tapat Journal If there’s anything that Mayette Bayuga’s “Halinghing sa Hatinggabi” can teach us, it’s that women like Laura can get hot and bothered by men in her apartment building just because she heard strange sexual moans in the middle of the night. And while in heat, she takes it upon herself to, erm, douse her urges with the landlord’s son. Do things like this happen in real life? We can’t say it won’t.
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DATE HACKS
How to score E-hookups
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To up your online dateability chances, do as follows…
S T E P 1 Pick a virtual dating pool
Generic-texting chumps Smoke them by: Referencing
something she said on her bio, instead of opening with “hey,” “what’s up?” or “hello poh!”
Tinder Biggest selling points: Filters off
unlikables and initiates kilig by only allowing contact between “matched” users (people whose profiles you’ve liked, who incidentally, also liked yours). Syncs with Facebook to reveal common friends, making your dates more “human.”
OkCupid
Abs-snapping and muscled selfie-taking schmucks Smoke them by: Using cleverly
Chatty men who maximize the 500-word bio Smoke them by: Doing the
taken profile photos that bank on your humor or other physicallyconveyable assets, instead of focusing on your tubby tiyan.
opposite. Cut back to: what you’re like, and what kind of ladies you like to hook up with. Ease up on the lewd— that comes later.
Biggest selling points: Basic,
and encourages everyone to try their hand at suavely sending feelers to everybody else. Free prowling, if you will. Includes gimmicky features that calculate your best matches via member-created quizzes and multiple choice questions.
S T E P 3 Get the app and log a profile. While you’re at it—some
firsthand tips and stories from Tinder users via Reddit
Snapchat Biggest selling points: Not an
actual dating service, but a way to share photos— which disappear seconds after you’ve viewed them. Nifty trick that encourages snaps of… well, you already know what. Best place for you to be if you’re playing for tease.
The only Internet speak that matters 26 FH M OCTOBER 2015
DTF Down to fuck
“Sabi nga nila, the more entries you send, the more chances of winning. Swipe right lang ako lagi .” Bordado
“Some of my matches post nudes. Tinder is now my new source of porn. I guess that's a success?” Asdadsadsa
“I moved here to the Philippines about three weeks ago and I've already met a gorgeous woman off Tinder. 5'9", light-skinned Pinay who makes people not instinctively stare at me first. Highly intelligent financial analyst from well to do family. Yup, I fucking love Tinder.” Kraken9911
“I got a match last night and we were having a great conversation when all of a sudden she's gone and I can't find her anymore. Hate the app now.” Not4hookups
“The good thing about dating sites is ang dami talaga. Grabe !” Cheatycat
NSA
LT GL
MSN UW
TD TM
LF
No strings attached
Looking to get laid
Miniskirt no underwear
Talk dirty to me
Let’s fuck
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R A M U L A P E N Y H K : S D R O W
MODEL: NIKKI HOWARD PHOTOGRAPHY: REY TRAJANO MAKE UP AND HAIR: TINA LUONG MODEL APPEARS FOR ILLUSTRATION PURPOSE ONLY
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, LADIES CONFESSIONS Absolutely true stories of women in lust Cutting edge I was dating this guy a while back and agreed to his plan of doing it after his shift—but I would never have guessed the kind of kinkiness I was in-stored for. Before meeting him, he texted me, asking me to wear my old clothes without saying why. I went through my wardrobe and changed. When I came back, he was already naked, smiling, and sitting in the bed with ropes and a pair of scissors. I asked him what
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was he going to do with them. “Basta ,” he replied with a naughty grin on his face. He laid me down lightly on the bed and started kissing my neck, while his hands caressed my boobs. He then licked my ears, and I started moaning. He took the pair of scissors and toyed with my top. He cut two small holes out of my blouse, exposing my nipples. He traced his mouth over each of them, licking them round and round... He then cut a hole at the
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ALWAYS HE RE TO LISTEN, LADIES!
Keep sending your escapades to fhmladiesconfessions @gmail.com or Facebook.com/fhm.ph
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center of my panties to show off my pussy. I got kinda nervous when he did that but I could feel how careful he was so I just let him do it. He gently touched my pussy and slowly inserted two fingers inside me, slowly moving them in and out. He played with my clit by moving his thumb in circles. He removed my shirt and sucked my nipples again. He had one hand on my boobs and the other on my pussy. He took the rope and tied it around me. He spread my legs and entered me with his hard dick. When I moaned, he softly said, “Ano? Gusto mo pa ?” I smiled, nodded, and he fucked me harder. I could feel his dick almost touching my cervix, so deep. He did me doggy style—I buried my face into a pillow and moaned into it, before feeling his cum burst inside
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CONFESSIONS
me. I can’t forget how he reacts when he cums– parang kinilig siya . After that, he smiled and kissed me. We’re currently thinking up other kinky things we can try out. Joyce, via Facebook
Karaoke night There’s this guy from work that I’ve always had a thing for. Thanks to some common friends, he got invited to one of the karaoke nights my group arranged regularly. That night, I sat next to him and teased him while the others sang to their hearts’ content. When I felt like everyone was drunk enough, I tried to touch his bulge, and felt that his member was already stiff because of all the teasing I gave him earlier. We locked lips while everyone else was busy. Things got heated up pretty quickly so he whispered, “Let’s go somewhere more private.” And I, being so desperately horny, obliged. We sneaked out and found a vacant karaoke room beside the one we rented. We left the lights off so the staff wouldn’t know we were inside. I took his throbbing bulge out of his pants and gave him the best blowjob I have ever given anyone—even my boyfriend. I felt his member stiffen but got surprised he didn’t unload his stuff in my mouth. He lifted my skirt up and started licking my flooded pussy. I came so much and had a hard time containing
‘He cut two small holes into my blouse, exposing my nipples. He traced his mouth over each of them, licking them round and round…’
then whispered, “Want me to go harder?” His horny query made me blow up with lust and drove me to climax. He did not stop banging me for a good five minutes after I came–five minutes of intense butt plopping, ass grabbing, and ear biting until he finally came inside me. We were so sweaty when we came back wondering if anyone noticed our absence. The others were still enjoying their merrymaking, clueless of the fact that we just had great fun for ourselves. Ynah Inari, via email
It’s just... a little gush My boyfriend recently learned how to stimulate my G-spot and it feels amazing. One of our more fun experiments happened just last week. We were in bed and he was playing with my G-spot. He kept teasing me, and I got closer and closer to orgasm. I begged him to make me cum, and that’s when he started to vigorously fap my pussy. I felt my whole body gyrate; I came so hard that it looked like a sprinkler got installed in our room, and I made the weirdest sound you could possibly imagine while I was squirting. I sounded like a teapot letting out steam, and I’m really sure I freaked out my boyfriend. But still, I wouldn’t trade orgasms like that for something as silly as getting embarrassed, ha ha! Elsa, via email
Disco magic my moans. Good thing the room was soundproof and our friends were singing on top of their lungs. I was going insane with his licking skills, flicking his tongue masterfully on my clit. He then took me from behind, forcing his dick inside me. I felt my walls expand as my pussy embraced his tool. I got teary-eyed both with pain and in ecstasy. He pounded me harder on the leather sofa, tugging my hair
MEANWHILE, IN LADY PARTS I.Q.
1 Take a tape measure
Calculating her cup size The difference (in inches) Her cup size
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
AA
A
B
C
D
DD
DDD, F
F
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and circle it across her breasts and back. Keep a mental note (i.e. 40). 2 Take the same tape measure and circle it above both boobs, underneath her
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armpits (i.e. 36). 3 Take her bust
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measurement, and minus off her band measurement (40 – 36 = 3). Consult chart below to affix letter—and you’ve got: 40D!
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My husband is a real avid fan of the ‘70s. He loves everything about it, from the fashion, to the music. I wanted to give him something unique for his birthday so we got a disco ball installed in our bedroom. Let’s just say we got a little groovier with our sex life. We would put on some disco fever and dance the night away. Making love with all the colors around you makes sex so much more… psychedelic. He rammed his dick to me while grooving to the beat. He says the lights make the sweat on my breasts glisten like gems. When I was finally at the throes of orgasm, it felt like I climaxed multiple times, spinning around the room with the lights twirling. This is probably one of the best investments I’ve bought in a while. Can’t wait to try out more stuff with my hubby. DoraDispatch, via Facebook www.fhm.com.ph
Y O U R M O N T H L Y A S S V I P P A
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Guitar Hero Live
GAMES
GAME JAM! THE SOUND OF FUR IOUSLY IOUSLY CLACKING PLASTIC BITS RETURNS TO YOUR LIVING ROOM THIS MONTH WITH ROCK BAND 4 AND GUITAR HERO LIVE
In case you aren’t quite sure when you last picked up a rhythm game, let us help you out: the last entry in the following franchises came out way back in 2010. Since then, we’ve swapped the novelty of tapping away on fake instruments for tapping away on our smartphones—and smartphones— and now it’s time to go back to the more social fun these games offer!
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The clue about what’s new is in the name. The experience of Guitar Hero Live is is as close to playing before a live audience as you can get—that’s because they recorded an actual live audience and festival setup for the entire game. When you’re done living the rock star dream, you can then play —which lets over music videos online with Guitar Hero TV —which you discover new tunes as well with its Spotify-esque playlists. The cons? You You can sing, but there are no drums and bass for the rest of the gang. Highlight track guitars pala yun? yun? “Feel So Close,” Calvin Harris May guitars
’S FH M ’S DRUNKEN REQUEST LIST
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“Narda”
“Luha”
“Stay”
Kamikazee
Aegis
Cueshé
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ALSO OUT!
Halo 5: Guardians In the latest installment of the Halo franchise, franchise, a new playable character, Spartan Locke, is on the hunt for the missing Master Chief while mysterious events are blowing up colony worlds. A biggie is four-player coop campaign, but sadly it’s not playable splitscreen (a major boo). Round up your friends with Xbox Ones ASAP!
Rock Band 4 The big deal here is that Rock Band 4 lets you break out your dusty old instruments and still use them. But chances are, they’re already laspag , so you might as well grab a new set and split the cost with your mates–and promptly fight over who gets the guitar and freedom to rip it out during the new “freestyle” solo segments. Need more tracks? Old Rock Band downloads downloads are available as long as you match platforms with what you used before–say, you had a PS3? Make sure to pick up the PS4 version then!
02 FILM
PRESENTING: GOTHIC GO THIC KIN K
Y A N I H A M H S A : S D R O W
MEXICAN FILMMAKER GUI LLERMO DEL TORO’S COMEBACK FILM IS READY TO FILL YOUR NIGHTMARES WITH BLOOD, VIOLENCE, AND SEX
There’s a lot of buzz about Guillermo del Toro’s latest, Crimson Peak —and —and it’s not even all about Tom Hiddleston signing up for the lead role 72 hours after Benedict Cumberbatch Cumberbatch dropped out. What the world’s going loco for rather is that this marks del Toro’s homecoming to the horror genre. Crimson Peak ’s ’s sinister mood is set in a sprawling mansion in 19th-century Cumbria, a mountainous region in north England. Any horror flick fan will be thrilled to see shades of Robert Wise’s and Stanley Kubrick’s The The Haunting and Shining here. But the main lure of Crimson Peak is is in del Toro’s heavy tribute to gothic literature. With its elaborate costumes and backdrop, a gripping score, and fine roundup of actors, this film has got us raring to go all black.
Highlight track “Uptown Funk,” Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars
Also known as the ultimate AVP song of 2015
“Balong Malalim”
Juan dela Cruz Band
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“Broken Sonnet”
Hale
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WORDS: ASH M AHINAY PHOTOGRAPHY: MARK J ESALVA; ESALVA; ILLUSTRATION: MADY MARCELINO
BOOKS... SORT OF
WRITE WR ITE THE HEMING-WAY! …OR DRAW LIKE P ICASSO WITH A MOLESKI MOLESKI NE
If you “date a girl who reads” or are close to a chick who is even one percent interested in reading, writing, or drawing, then you should totally get her a Moleskine notebook when you can’t think of anything else to gift. Besides the fact that stationery is something that tickles the reptilian part of female brains, it’s got a super premium feel that looks so good just sitting there as a bauble on her desk. And if she actually plans to defile it with bad handwriting, its pleasant ivory-hued pages are acid-free, so archaeologists archaeologists a hundred years from now can try to figure out her musings about you–and maybe find some crucial artifact in its integral carry pocket.
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Moleskine Classic Notebook, P820 to P1,390 depending on size, available at Fully Booked, National Bookstore, Office Warehouse, Pormada, and Zalora Philippines
HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN FLICK FORM F ORM ULA = FU NNY + SCARY SCARY JACK BLACK STARS IN TH E MOVIE ADAPTA ADAPTATION OF R.L. STINE’S HORR-COM PAPERBACK G O O S E B U M P S. S. BUT WHAT REALLY REALLY GOT YOU YOU HOOKED I N THIS SE RIE S
FILM
AS A KID WERE THESE CHARACTERS…
Clarissa Appeared in: “Be Careful
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Lord High Executioner Appeared in: “A Night in
(Voice) Sl appy The Dummy
Jonathan Chiller Appeared in: “Horrorland:
What You You Wish For…”
Terror Tower”
Appeared in: “Night of
Spooky look: Old woman
Spooky look: Cruel, big,
with a crystal ball Scare tactic: She makes wishes come true in a really erratic, er, unfair way (e.g. wish to be the strongest and she’ll make everybody ill except you).
and completely bald man in black cape and a wide brim hat Scare tactic: He time warps to the future (our present) to kidnap siblings who might be reincarnations of British monarchs he was assigned to execute.
the Living Dummy” Spooky look: A doll made out of a cursed wood coffin Scare tactic: He makes his ventriloquist his servant.
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When the Ghost Dog Howls” Spooky look: Imagine a more sinister-looking Benjamin Franklin Scare tactic: He's the owner of Chiller House—a gaming and amusement park of horror and everything evil aka “the scariest place on earth.”
SCAR E M ETER
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SCARE M ETE R
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Swamp Monster Appeared in: “How to Kill
a Monster” Spooky look: Green-
furred, with the body of a gorilla, and the head of an alligator Scare tactic: It’s a pancake-eating pancake-eating monster. He might as well be you.
SCAR E M ETE R
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Z E D N A N R E F S U I L U J : S D R O W
ADVERTISING FEATURE
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THE GYM RAT
There’s nothing wrong with taking a little fitspiration from a hot girl at the gym. But be careful, since the gym’s also a place to get sweaty; and where there’s sweat, th ere’s bound to be stink. Make sure that when you make your move, you’re fresh and clean. It won’t matter to her if you can bench a hundred if you walk up to her smelling like a sock. Use a two-in-one body spray to keep you smelling handsome.
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FROM THE SHADOWS
When you’re taking photos with friends, you can’t al ways expect the lighting to agree with you. And if you aren’t blessed with mestizo good looks, it’s easy to fade into a dark background. Put yourself on a whitening regimen with a face wash that keeps your skin light and bright, so you don’t always have to use the camera’s flash options to be seen! SHEA BUTTER
An extract of the nut of the African shea tree, used as a moisturizer or a salve. It dates as far back as Ancient Egypt as protection against the sun.
PEA EXTRACT
A botanical extract from the seeds of peas. It keeps enzymes from degrading collagen and elastin, ultimately keeping skin firm, stretchy, and supple.
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05 BABE
IT’S ALWAYS A GOOD TIM E EDM S INGER-SONGWRITER BEA “BV” VALERA IS NOTHING BUT GOOD VIBES
Seeing BV for the first time— standing a few inches shy of six feet, her hair dyed in the brightest of colors, tattooed, style, a sexy kind of laidback— you’d think you got her all figured out. A punk-rock chick? Nope. A self-proclaimed skater girl? Nah. We must admit it’s easy to pass judgment on someone who seems to be flashing her personality out there for everyone to see. But if we can point out one thing better than seeing all of her obvious assets in the flesh, it’s getting to know her on another level. Hint: her natural hair color is dark brown and, no, she’s not into screamo… You’ve collaborated with quite a few hip-hop artists, including your boyfriend Ron Henley’s band Stick Figgas. Were they your main influence?
I used to be in UP Theater. I got into hiphop because I started in the industry doing choruses for hip-hop artists. Then my brother organized Summer Siren, and I did the theme song for the music festival. I’d say that opened up a lot of opportunities for me. Right now I am into EDM. Does EDM mean a partying habit?
It’s really not my lifestyle, to be honest. Ha ha! Trabaho siya para sa akin, pero masaya ako to be doing it. I like lounging at home. I am neither a drinker nor a party person. Your tattoos pop nicely on your fair skin. Any interesting stories behind them?
I have trouble remembering, so I had t he things I want to remember inked on my skin. My most memorable one is the “C’est la vie” across my chest, which means “That’s life” in French. It’s a reminder of the note my mother gave me the night before she passed away. What is the biggest misconception about girls with out-of-the-box style?
That we’re shallow, and all we care about is looking flashy. It’s not about trying so hard to be different, it’s just how I really am. I do what I do because I want to, and not because I want some guy or anyone to want me. This is really me. You stand about 5’9”. Did you ever consider being a model or some athlete?
I wanted to model, but I don’t think my body type is really for that. I am tall, but I am not really stick-skinny. Sinubukan ko ring mag- volleyball , pero di ko talaga kaya eh, ha ha! I believe I’m meant to be a singer. We did some stalking and saw that you have over 21,000 followers on Instagram. Do you utilize that to invite people to listen to your music?
Mas napapansin pa rin yung selfies and OOTD’s kaysa dun sa actual work I produce. Right now, I’m trying to shift the attention of my followers to my music and craft. Sana mas makita nila ako as a singer and a performer more than anything else. PHOTOGRAPHY: EJAY LEUNG OF MIDNIGHT BONKERS INTERVIEW: PONG CASTILLO STYLING: DEBRA BERNALES MAKEUP: JANINA DIZON HAIR: EMMANUEL HERNANDEZ II
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Would you say that technology is a challenge to millennial artists?
Dati , nagkakakila-kilala ang mga artists kasi nagkikita talaga sila sa gigs. Mas organic yung interaction before. Ngayon pwede ka nang magkaroon ng libu-libong virtual followers kahit hindi ka mag-gig . Mas challenging ngayon maging legit. FH M OCTOBER 2015
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06 MOVIES
BE HU G(H)E THI S HALLOWE EN! IF YOU’RE LOOKING TO UP YOUR COSTUM E GAME THI S SEASON, TAKE CUE S FROM HUG H JACKMAN—WHO, THIS MONTH, CHAMELEONS INTO BLACK BEARD FROM PAN … WORDS: PONG CASTILLO ILLUSTRATIONS: LOUIS ARENAS
OUT
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Black Beard in Pan Make sure to don:
A fur-trimmed leather jacket, a red sash, a fake sword, and strong facial hair game. The challenge is if you’re not bald—either go for a clean shave or glove your noggin with, uh, a skin tone swimming cap? Your convincing one-liner: “Have you come to kill me, Peter?”
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Jean Valjean in Les Mi serables Make sure to don: Layers of polo, scarves, and coats. Don’t overdo it, just enough to make people stare and say, “Ang init ng suot mo !” Also, grow an old school stubble that borders on scruffy. Your convincing one-liner: “Who am I?” Sung in a very low, dramatic voice.
Charlie Kenton i n Real Steel Make sure to don:
A slim-fit roundneck T-shirt. This will work only if you get rid of the muffin top and manboobs. Charlie was an ex-boxer, so if you can’t pull off that look, maybe you can move on to the next choice? Your convincing one-liner: “Now give me the main event!”
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Van H el s i ng in Van Helsing
Make sure to don: A black trench coat over an all-black ensemble. The key props here are the cowboy hat and a fake crossbow. Grow your hair mid-length. Let’s just hope you won’t get mistaken for Ka Freddie. Your convincing one-liner: “Vampires, gargoyles, warlocks, they’re all the same—best when cooked well.”
fhmphilofficial
Wolverine in the X-Men series
Make sure to don: A white sando , a dog tag, a pair of your best maong ,
and a pair of foil-wrapped claws. Don’t forget to put on a chock-full of hair products to achieve that untameable look. Also do some good rounds at the gym…para batak ! Your convincing one-liner: None. Just give ‘em a side stare with a raised eyebrow—they’ll get it.
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LONG LIVE THESE THREE LADIES HAVE GOT THE BEAUTY QUEEN THING ALL FIGURED OUT. THIS IS OUR WAY OF ACKNOWLEDGING THEIR REIGN SHALL NEVER CEASE PHOTOGRAPHY
DOC MARLON PECJO INTERVIEW
CHISE ALCANTARA, PONG CASTILLO, ALEX C. PAITA
STYLING
JANNO NOVENARIO
SPECIAL THANKS TO
MHIT PIMENTEL OF VIVA ARTIST AGENCY AND JONAS GAFFUD OF MERCATOR MODELS
r a e w h c a e B d n a s t i u s m i w S . D E T L A S y b t i u s m i w s e c e i
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e n O
NOTHING’S SEXIER THAN A WOMAN WHO KNOWS WHAT SHE’S DOING. TH E BINIBINING PILIPINAS-WORLD 2008 AND RETURNING COVER GIRL IS ALL THAT AND MORE
Dani makes doing anything seem so easy, just like keeping that exquisite physique of hers with her triathletelevel reservoir of energy. We could just imagine her running circles around us while making us weak-kneed with her irresistible smile—she just isn’t playing fair. Oh well, sometimes a man should just know when to let a woman do her thing.
O Ñ A T S A C E L L E I N A D
M A K E U P HERNAN MANUNTAG
SORIANO H A I R KYLA MARIE SANDOVAL
You last appeared in the magazine in February 2012. That’s a long time to not be doing a cover with FHM , don’t you think? I know! I think I’m a lot more mature now, ha ha! Mature in what way? Well, my parents are super strict. Now I think I’m more independent and open to things. I have enough maturity to decide on important matters like this. We’re that important? Yeah, I think FHM isn’t isn’t just stripping off your clothes in front of a camera. The photos and the styling, it’s art. I really trust the talent of Doc Marlon [Pecjo]. He’s such a good photographer. It’s always a pleasure working with a model as talented as you, and now it seems you’ve gotten even better with the way you project on camera. When I first did a cover for FHM , I felt like I wasn’t ready physically. I was more “chubby cheeks” pa cheeks” pa . Now, I feel like I’ve grown as a woman, and my features have changed. siyempre my I first worked with you guys when I was 19! I’m 25 now, ha ha! You’re making us feel old. Did you have any surprises planned for this shoot? Um, oh yeah! I just had my hair cut—it was down to my waist before! They say shorter hair makes you look younger. I’m open to a lot of changes now. Is it true girls tend to cut their hair after a breakup? Oh my gosh! Ha ha! No. I mean, I’m single now. But you know what? I’m really happy with my life right now. I’ll be able to work on my career and how to better myself as a person. To try out different roles and projects, you know. How does it feel shooting with other beauty queens? I’m really excited to work with Cindy
[Miranda] and Queenie [Rehman] since they’re also from Aces and Queens [a training camp for beauty queens]. I joined them when I was training for Miss World, which was held in Africa. Since you really seem comfortable working with other women, would you have tips for us guys to feel more comfortable around gorgeous women like you? Just be yourself, you don’t have to do so much. You don’t have to flash expensive stuff at us. A guy should just show us who they really are, dahil doon siya mamahalin talaga ng babae. You’ve been competing all your life in pageants, business, and even in Amazing Race Asia . Are you really that competitive? Well, yeah, I think I was born competitive. I’ve been an athlete since I was young. I’ve been doing track and field since high school. I believe if you want something in life to happen, you should work hard for it. If may may contest or beauty sasalihan akong contest pageant, I don’t join just for the sake of joining. I’m in it to win it! Why track and field, by the way? I really like it. For me, it isn’t exercise as much as it’s therapy. I just feel so relaxed and free. I’m training for a triathlon soon. I’m happy being competitive and sweating my ass off, ha ha! How careful are you with your diet and fitness routine? Do you ever have cheat days? I wake up at 5 a.m. every day to train because the gym is really far from where I live. I usually eat fish, egg whites, and yogurt before I train. I want to have a cheat day every day, but I know I can’t, ha ha! I like cheese a lot—it’s my favorite thing in the world. If I had to eat just one thing for the rest of my life, cheese would be it. If a guy wanted to date you, would he have to keep up with your active lifestyle? Yes, most definitely! I’m so hyper. I have too much energy. He definitely has to run with me, and go hiking or shoot guns. I’m very adventurous. Does being so energetic intimidate men in bed? I wouldn’t know. Maybe you should ask my exes…just kidding! Ha ha! FHM
DANIELLE CASTAÑO
DANIELLE CASTAÑO
WE CAN’T WAIT FOR THE SOFT-SPOKEN PINOY BIG BROTHER ALUMNA AND BINIBINING PILIPINAS-TOURISM OF 2013 TO COME OUT OF HER SHELL
Filipinos would drop everything they’re doing to catch a beauty pageant air live on television. We say this because we are a proud nation when it comes to beauty pageants, and we take our bets ser iously. In FHM ’s case, we take the swimsuit competition very, very seriously. On a rare occasion that we rub elbows with—not one, not two, but three!—beauty queens, we tried to dissect the elements that draw us into them. Is it because they have the power to take on their social duties in at least four-inch heels? Is it because they embody the words “beauty” and “queen” so effortlessly? Is it their graceful wave and permanent smile that seems to beam ’round the clock? It could be all of these. But Binibinang Pilipinas-Tourism 2013 Cindy Miranda says that the true value of a woman is seen “sans the crown, the sash, and the applauding audience.” And true to her words, we might just see her rawest and trues t version in these pages.
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R I M Y D N I C
M A K E U P F R A N C I S G U I N T U F O R
CYNOS INSIDE HAIR CARE H A I R J I M R O S F O R I N G L O T
COSMETICS
Is FHM any different from what you do in beauty pageants? When you’re a beauty queen kasi, people train you to be even more refined. You can’t really project sexy kasi laging big smiles lang . Ngayon naipakita ko yung isa pang side ng beauty queen na hindi masyadong nakikita ng ibang tao . We’d say you did a pretty good job. Was the pursuit to becoming crowned a childhood dream? Yes, it was. Ako yung first beauty queen in the family. When I was a teenager, I’d sneak in pageants. Alam kong madalas hindi ako papayagan kaya tumatakas ako , ha ha! Was that the most disobedient you’ve been? Ha ha! I would say so. But don’t get me wrong, kahit may katigasan ang ulo ko , I always see to it that I give my 100 percent in the decisions I make. I was also very serious with my studies. What can we expect from you next? A “teleserye queen” title maybe? Hindi naman! I’m still learning. There’s this certain behavior expected of beauty queens. Bawal maging masyadong kengkoy . Limited yung roles mo in some projects, kasi bawal kang pumangit or magmukhang kawawa on-screen. I hope that changes, para mas makita yung full potential namin as artists.
But we’ve seen you on TV before… I was actually a co-host in Wil Time, Big Time before I joined Binibining Pilipinas. That’s another big stint I had to give up for a bigger dream. What really happens backstage in beauty pageants? It must be intense to be with a pool of competitive women. It’s more a mind game, really. Imagine competing with women who are sexier, smarter, more beautiful, and more competitive than you. Let’s just say mas marami akong naging kaibigan after the competition, ha ha! Do you have any special requirement for boyfriend hopefuls? I want someone with an equally strong personality. I had a boyfriend before who would always just let me decide on everything. It came to a point that it got boring, and it eventually didn’t work out. A guy has to have the guts to raise a point instead of just giving in to his girl. So you wouldn’t mind if we tag you along rough man-activities then? Sure! I go to the gym and I run outdoors regularly. I played volleyball and track and field when I was younger. I don’t go to bars; wala akong bisyo kasi I think long-term. Can we ask you a few beauty pageant questions? Ha ha! Bring it on. It’s been a while! First question: What do you think is our biggest problem in tourism at the moment? We really have to do something about our traffic situation. Kung tayong mga Pinoy mismo ay gustong takasan yung matinding trapiko , paano pa kaya yung mga turista ? They wouldn’t want to come back after experiencing, say, three hours on the road from the airport to their hotel. Three hours! Nasa’n ang hustisya ? Agree! Second: Where in the Philippines would you bring a tourist on his first time in the country? Wow, pang-beauty pageant nga ang tanong , ha ha! Siguro sa Baguio. I lived there for a couple of years. I like that it’s a city that’s grounded to its cultural roots. Simple ang buhay, malamig ang hangin. Lastly, if you could travel to another country, where would it be and why? I’m booked to fly to Japan by the end of the year. I’m so excited for it! Hopefully I can invite Japanese tourists to come to the Philippines naman. Also, I would pick up positive points on their tourism situation. Ha ha, on-duty pa rin ako kahit naka-bakasyon! FHM
CINDY MIRANDA
CINDY MIRANDA
THE BEATBOXING, BASKETBALL-LOVING BINIBINING PILIPINAS-WORLD 2012 PROVES THAT BEAUTY QUEENS DON’T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE PRIM AND PROPER
Here’s Queenie Rehman, 27 years old. Binibining Pilipinas candidate of 2011, and Miss World Philippines titleholder of 2012. She is known to do extraordinary stuff—the kind that makes you open your eyes wide, blurt out an expletive, click on the share button, and win new online friends. In 2012, she won the hearts of the crowd and the host during the talent portion of Miss World in China. The Pakistani-Filipina (we can’t think of a nice-sounding abbreviation for this) stunner started singing the first few lines from Far East Movement’s “Rocketeer,” then broke out into beatboxing her own medley of Top 40 hits like Usher’s “Yeah” and Cali Swag District’s “Teach Me How to Dougie.” She sang and danced as she mimicked scratch, echo, beat slicer, and flanger effects, plus percussion in between—all using her mouth and probably buckets of dribble. The crowd roared. The host and the judges applauded her in amazement. What made it all the more endearing was that she did it in a long, glittery gown, and looked even more stunning in it. She didn’t win the Miss Talent award—Miss China took it by singing a native song in their dialect—but within the next 24 hours, Queenie was all over international news. Three years later, she makes it to the cover of FHM —but that’s more of our achievement than hers, isn’t it?
M H E R I N E E U Q
M A K E U P F R A N C I S
GUINTU FOR CYNOS INSIDE HAIR CARE H A I R J I M R O S F O R I N G L O T COSMETICS
So, beatboxing. Long gown. Miss World. What was up with that? Ha ha! My main talent is singing, but I know how to beatbox as well. So I thought, instead of singing, which is too common, I chose to do something different and unique during the talent portion. How long have you been doing this? Ever since high school. I started by watching tutorials on YouTube and learned the basics. Then after a few months, I mastered different techniques. Even Huffington Post and Time were impressed by your Miss World stunt. How did you feel about that? That was my intention—to make it to the news, ha ha! Well played! What keeps you busy these days? I do ramp modeling, hosting, and judging for beauty pageants. I’m also studying Baking and Pastry Arts at
Enderun. I want to have my own café and restaurant someday. You’ve worked with a lot of models and beauty queens. Can you tell us how to approach a beautiful woman like you without pissing in our pants? Think of her as a normal woman. Beauty queen or not, we’re all actually the same—in that we always look for good character and a striking personality in men. You did a lot of difficult-looking poses earlier. How prepared were you for those? Ha ha! They’re not easy but I’ve done my research. I studied different magazine covers and learned these poses through observation. Ganun kasi yung personality ko . I learn how to do a lot of things just by looking at them. What other DIY tricks do you have up your sleeve? I know how to do my own makeup, my own hair—even different hairstyles— and a number of life hacks. For example, I can do my own bleach for my hair using baking soda, vinegar, and honey. Can we assume you have the perfect answer to every beauty pageant question out there? Although I always come prepared at pinag-aaralan ko talaga yung common questions, there’s always that question that I’m not prepared for. Dun ako natatakot . How competitive are you? I’m very competitive. I also play basketball, so dun pa lang I’ve developed a competitive instinct na no matter what it takes, I’ll do my best to win. Can you dunk? Nope, but I do a lot of lay-ups, rebounds, and boxing out. Malakas ka mang-balya ? Ha ha, sakto lang ! Now on to life in general: how do you get down and dirty? By not taking a bath in a day, ha ha! How do we make you comfortable? What are the signs that you’re opening up? When you see that I’m laughing, and when I’m extra talkative, it means I’m starting to get comfortable with you. When I punch you in the gut, that means you’re doing great. At pag nangbabalya na ako, take that as a good sign, ha ha! FHM
QUEENIE REHMAN
QUEENIE REHMAN
WORDS ANTHONY
TEASDALE, JIM BUTLER, FHM PHILIPPINES
ILLUSTRATION JEREMIAH
IDANAN
The sharing economy has enabled people to make money from assets like condos and apartments (Airbnb), general unwanted stuff (OLX), and cars (Uber). Uber’s idea came to Garrett Camp and Travis Kalanick when they were trying—and failing—to get a cab in snowy Paris in 2008. Starting life as UberCab in 2010 in San Francisco, the company was immediately successful for two reasons: first, as an app, its mobile nature meant hailing a cab was painless and immediate; second, the responsive “surge” pricing meant drivers could charge more at busy times, bringing more of them on the road. Every journey made brings a cut of the fare to Uber, which means with operations all over the world, the company is now valued at $18.2 billion.
Q WHY ARE ONLINE BULLIES CALLED TROLLS? Dealing with trolls is the price we pay for the Internet—but why are they called “trolls?” Rather than being related to ugly dwarves under bridges, the word is related to “trawling,” a fishing term that in this context means writing deliberately offensive comments to attract “bites.” The term was first used on pre-Internet network Usenet in the early 1980s. It was recorded with its present meaning in the Oxford English Dictionary in 1992.
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Q WHO INVENTED THE HASHTAG, AND WHY ISN’T IT GOING AWAY? The hash symbol—or the “pound,” as our brothers from the UK like to call it—is an integral part of how we find topics that interest us online. But it’s only been around since 2007, when web whiz kid Chris Messina used it on Twitter to organize groups for tech conference network BarCamp. In 2007, a friend of Messina’s used the hashtag #sandiegofire during the fire there, and effectively became the news anchor for the blazes in his area—but Twitter didn’t officially adopt it until 2009. “Its primary purpose is content discovery,” says Dan Spicer, head of community at social media tool Hootsuite. “It allows people to find relevant content from other people, businesses, and brands. And while platforms, especially social networks, will always look at developing new ways of putting content in front of people, they’ll find it difficult to find a more effective way of linking common themes and topics than a hashtag.”
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Q WHY DO PEOPLE RIDE FIXED-GEAR BIKES? “Fixies” became popular among cycle couriers in the ’90s because of their simplicity and practicality. These bikes don’t need brakes and can’t freewheel, stripping cycling back to the basics. Not long after, the young urban middle class adopted it as part of their identity.
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Q WHERE DO EMOJIS COME FROM? The first emojis date back to 1999 when Japanese designer Shigetaka Kurita devised a set of illustrations for the first mobile Internet network. Influenced by both manga comics and street signs, they were only used in Japan for years. Then smartphones enabled the “language” to spread all over the world. In 2010, the Unicode Consortium approved a set of globally recognized standardized emojis. When Apple included emojis on iOS, the global takeover was complete.
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Q WHAT THE HELL ARE GASTROPUBS? Too many of these fine-food-with-liquor pairing places are creeping up in BGC and Makati, but the term “gastropub” was first coined to describe a dive in London called The Eagle in 1991. Combining the traditional elements of booze with food elevated above tokwa’t baboy and sisig (not that there’s anything wrong with that). The Eagle soon became popular with the wordsmiths that worked at nearby British n ewspaper, The Guardian . And as those journos wrote about it, (and traditional English food came back into fashion) the idea of paying 15 quid for sausage and mash (read: pricey food at an inuman joint) was born.
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Q WHEN DID ‘LOL’ BECOME ‘LAUGH OUT LOUD’? LOL! ROTFL! LELZZZZ. When it comes to expressing joy online, there’s one route everyone follows: But why? It goes back to 1980s Canada when Wayne Pearson, a member of pre-Internet bulletin board called Viewline, coined the term. After being on a list of web acronyms in the 1989 newsletter, its use spread. Today, Pearson sa ys, “A friend of mine who went by the name Sprout had said something so funny in the teleconference room that I found myself truly laughing out loud, echoing off the walls. That’s when ‘LOL’ was first used. I always emphasized that it’s meant to be used only if you truly laugh out loud…a smirk, smile, or giggle just won’t cut it.”
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Q HOW DID BEATS BY DRE BECOME A POP CU LTURE THING? If the iPod was 2000’s musical accessory, then this decade is defined by Beats headphones (BBD controls nearly 70 percent of the premium headphone market worldwide). Record label boss Jimmy Iovine and hip-hop producer Dr. Dre’s brand is the perfect synthesis of tech and pop culture—so successful that Apple paid $3 billion for it in 2014. According to Neil Boorman, author of Bonfire of the Brands: pre-iPod , only DJs and snobs spent money on headphones. But Apple’s cheapo ear buds led to an everyman demand for quality cans. “The problem was that major hi-fi brands looked stuffy,” says Boorman. “But Beats headphones are branded like lollipops—bright and accessible.” The key was using credible artists like Pharrell Williams in the research stage, before recruiting celebs in the marketing campaign. “If you send a celebrity down the red carpet holding a product that’s in normal people’s price ranges, they’ll snap it up like it’s the last product on Earth,” says Boorman. FHM
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LE T TH ES E T O P N O T C H F H M BABES TE ACH YO U A THING OR T WO ABO UT BUI LDING YO UR OW N BUSINESS EMPIRE
W O R D S
PONG CASTILLO PHOTOGRAPHY
HEIDI PASCUAL-AQUENDE
HAIR APPARENT
z s alon V al ee n M o nt en eg r o , J ul y 2 0 1 5 co ve r gi r l
Long before she finally said yes to do this rag’s July cover, Valeen caught our attention for two reasons, apart from her #hotdamn appeal: one, her wit and humor on- and off-cam break the whole coño vibe she has (but could not care less for); and two, her versatile hairstyle t hat changes every single time we see her on TV. This is because she commands a team of elite salon professionals taking quarters in her own Z Salon. “I promise you, a visit here is worth your money,” she tells our buhaghag -haired female editorial assistant. “It will change not just your appearance, but the level of your confidence as well.” To this, our EA, who’ve so long wanted to possess a beauty like Valeen’s, has a snappy reply: Shut up and take my money!
no rags-to-riches tale Together with A-list hairstylist Ziggy Hermosura, Valeen opened Z salon last year to cater to women and men ready to “invest” in themselves. “With high-end salons and spas popping out here and t here, you know people are more willing to pay for such services,” Valeen says. “The challenge is to provide a different experience that will set us apart from the others.” Valeen’s Salon is located in one of the more upscale neighborhoods in the South, and she will not sugarcoat anything about the money that went into it. “Capital was never an issue,” she says. “We even went over-budget, but the extra costs went to meeting details and ensuring that we meet the standards we set, which are vital in sustaining the trust of your customers.”
BIG MONEY BLOWOUT P120,000 Average monthly rent for a spac e along a prime commercial spot in Metro Manila P200,000 Average i nterior designer’s fee designer for a 35- to 40 -square meter property
maki ng the c ut An average hair salon would take two to three years to hit a return of i nvestment (ROI). For Z Salon, they hit their target in less than two years. “It’s really an advantage that Z Salon’s head stylist, Ziggy, is a topnotch hairstylist, so he got to bring his clients in,” Valeen says. In a month, about 50 to 60 clients come in to have different services done. Now that might sound like offquota for a business—only a customer in Z Salon would have to shell out at least P5,000 per visit for a haircut, hair coloring, and basic hair treatments. “But don’t get intimidated by that,” Ziggy says. “We charge high because
P350,000 to P400,000 Fees for an initial package of profes sional hair and salo n products
the treatments we provide should last you a little over two months. And given that you come to us regularly, you would really get the bang for your buck.”
f u s i o n i n n o v a t i o n As with other salons that offer VIP-level pampering, uses top-of-the-line products, and hires professional hairstylists and technicians, Valeen and Ziggy had to think of their unique selling point. “We have an in-store surprise for customers who come to our salon. We have partnered with Selu Lounge, the gentleman bar just adjacent to us, to attract a wide range of clientele,” Valeen says. They aimed —and succeeded—at making their business a go-to wellness spot for both men and women. So while the missus is having her hair done at Z Salon, you can go grab a drink at the classy gentleman’s bar just beside it. Or, to be fair, you can have your hair done and the wife gets to drink. Everybody wins.
THREAD SETTER
f r e n c h d o l l s Jacq Yu, Girls of FHM 2008, 2009, 2013
In the pursuit of producing the best and tastiest babe photos for your viewing pleasure, the FHM styling team scours for good finds in clothes. It’s not a simple thing because, really, how hard is it to find clothing that, well, will not “clothe” but should flatter a woman’s body in the right spots, and not distract? Confusing. Model and entrepreneur Jacq Yu knows this all too well. “I’ve posed for the magazine and FHM.com.ph a couple of times so I know how you’re very particular when it comes to styling,” she says. “I’m glad that I get to share my creativity in fashion design when you let me provide clothes and lingerie at FHM shoots.” It’s always a pleasure collaborating with you, Jacq!
THE COST OF A MAN ’S WEAR-ABOUTS P30,000 to P100,000 Range of renting a space in a mall, depending on how upscale the mall i s. If you go the Divi soria route, it s hould cost you a measly P10, 000 to P15,000.
The following year, she put up a pizza stand–believe it!— with some help from family and friends. “It’s the ‘Yu’ in me… the Chinese in me,” she says. “We’re really into business and making money. It’s something we value and we do with passion. I’m pretty good at sales talk.” French Dolls was previously owned by one of Jacq’s friends, and Jacq was just the brand’s face. But the original owner bailed out on the investment after four years, giving Jacq a chance to take ownership. “I took over without fear and hesitation because aside from my interest in business, I am very much into fashion,” she says. “I design clothes, so this is work and play for me. Passion is the fuel to keep up in this kind of industry.” She’s now on her second year as the sole owner of the clothing brand.
P150,000 Average capital for supplying a pop-up clothing store
‘the yu in me’ At the young age of six, Jacq opened her first store ever— nothing grand, but she sold quality stuff. “I sold iced candy!,” she shares.
P850 Average labor cost for a tailored barong, which can be sold from P1, 000 to P5,000 , depending on the intricacy of detai ls and materials used
a one-stop shop Jacq ran the store using her personal savings on the first year. She says she has already hit ROI a year in advance. “It’s really an accomplishment because, as you can see, here in Greenhills, I’m li terally swamped with other competing brands,” she says. “ Mataas yung renta, at meron talagang mga araw na walang tao .” To keep up with competition and manage costs, Jacq keeps her designs limited and sources from different countries. “My goal is to expand abroad, so it’s important that I keep my own style while making sure my taste is up to current international trends.” Jacq also slowly extends her market to male customers. “I now sell neckties and accessories for men, which surprisingly sells,” Jacq says. French Dolls earns up to P65,000 on a good week. “We get over a hundred customers spending P250 to P3,500 in our store,” she says. “I’ve also recently launched a perfume line called Good Vibes. The oil is imported from France. It’s good quality for a good price.” Considering the monthly overhead of P85,000 for rent, manpower, and restocking, the store is able to produce a respectable profit. Jacq limits the store personnel to two, but makes sure to supervise every week when she’s not abroad sourcing for products. “I think I’ve succ eeded in making French Dolls a one-stop style shop.”
GOLD STANDARD
aubrey miles pawnshop
I I Z E D N A N R E H L E U N A M M E : R I A H ; N O Z I D A N I N A J : P U E K A M
Au br ey Mi le s, FH M 20 02 , 20 04 , 20 09 co ve rg ir l
Aubrey reveals that in the early 2000s, she earned roughly half a million pesos a week as a noontime show co-host for Masayang Tanghali Bayan . That’s on top of what she got from endorsement deals and films. The noontime show lasted a year. This means that if Aubrey did it without fail, she would’ve banked a whopping P48 million. “The income in show business is really overwhelming,” Aubrey says. “Mabilis ang pasok ng pera, pero that also pushed me to have a carefree lifestyle. I traveled. I bought designer stuff. I enjoyed it.” But good thing about our girl, she never lost sight of the fact that she needed to put the money into something more sustainable. “I got into showbiz packed with a bigger plan: to eventually put up my own business.” Nearly two decades in as an actress, Aubrey now has the enterprise she had planned for and is set for even bigger things...
golds to gadgets Coming from a family of alaheras , Aubrey knew early on the ins and outs of the pawning trade. “I pawned a Polaroid camera when I was a teenager,” she shares. “Although my reason was unacceptable—peer pressure!—I could say that engaging in business never intimidated me. I got P500 for that!” To make sure she would have the right tools to set up her own pawnshop, Aubrey attended business management classes where she learned proper appraising. The first Aubrey Miles (A-Miles) Pawnshop opened 10 years ago in Cubao, which initially accepted just pieces of jewelry. “But you have to understand that the pawning industry now also caters to a younger market,” Aubrey explains. “They’re the ones who have a lot of gadgets— extra gadgets. Ang bilis na kasing mag-upgrade ng tao ng electronics ngayon, kaya more than needing money, they just ‘dispose’ stuff to earn them money to buy a new one. That’s why I think my business is doing well. You need smart phones? Cameras? Designer bags? We have it... all for good deals!”
game of pawns Pawnshops earn from the interest put in pawned items and the sale of unredeemed collaterals. At A-Miles Pawnshop, the interest rate for an item starts at four percent a month. If not repayed in a span of five months, the pawnshop puts the item up for sale. “We get customers by the day,” Aubrey says. While more female customers pawn jewelry, “a bulk of these gadgets [points to the display cabinet] were pawned by males. Business peaks during Christmas time and school enrollment periods.” A pawnshop located in an area with good foot traffic and a steady stream of customers should meet ROI on its fifth year. Fortunately, Aubrey’s first branch in Cubao did just that. “But I wanted to make sure I could manage the projected expenses when I branched out,” she says. “So I built up capital for another two years before I opened my second branch at Makati Cinema Square.”
What was the most challenging part in branching out? “Meeting the monthly overhead. There’s the monthly rent, and fixing this space alone cost me roughly P300,000. Mabigat talaga sa bulsa because you have to wait a few more years before you get your money back.” In the decade she’s been in the pawning business, she applies the 40:60 rule: “Forty percent of your money you use as capital, sixty percent you use for maintenance.”
sure r eturn s
MONEY MATTERS P350,000 to P500,000 Average cost of renovating a spac e in a mall, not including professional f ees for an interior designer P400,000 Minimum cost of constructing a B-grade security sys tem, excluding the actual money vault P150,000 to P200,000 Minimum monthly overhead e xpenses
Aubrey plans to open another branch in three years. Would she ever consider going into co-ownership? She says that that’s one thing she can’t do: “I would never go into business with a family member or a friend. Eighty percent of the people I know who have done it either bailed out of their investment or are now single and homeless!” But don’t get her wrong; it’s just her being street-smart. Co-ownership demands not only a split in profit, but also in decision-making, something Aubrey is not keen to get into. “When I risk my money, gusto ko at least 90 to 95 percent of the time, I get the returns,” she explains. “Hindi ako mag-i-invest sa kahit anong alam kong hindi malaki ang balik.” She’s got beauty, brains, and money, all right. Now we
treasure her even more.
WELL ENDOWED
danielle castaño beauty and w e l l n e s s Danielle Castaño, CNP, FHM February 2012 covergirl
Colonics hydrotherapy. Iridology. Live blood analysis—some of the trivial things we talked about with FHM covergirl and Bb. Pilipinas-World 2008 Dani Castaño when we visited her posh beauty and wellness spa in Libis. Certified naturopath Dani was ready to do some of the procedures on us herself. “I can actually do a therapy on you, if you guys would like to try,” she excitedly tells us. “I do it to clients myself.” The colonics hydrotherapy? Maybe some other time. Naturopaths employ natural, non-invasive treatments and other forms of alternative medicine for holistic wellness, as well as lifestyle counseling. “It’s something I believe in, and am proud to share with others,” Dani says. She claims to be a former patron of other slimming and wellness spas—a routine that slashed a significant chunk off her monthly earnings. “I was spending so much money, so I thought of a way to have the procedures done on myself at a more affordable cost while earning from clients as well.” Aside from training as a triathlete, Dani now maintains a good figure and healthy body in the comforts of her own spa-clinic.
risky business Joining beauty pageants right after high school bought Dani more time to rethink what she wanted to take up in college. She admits that her mother initially didn’t want her to join
THE PRICE OF BEAUTY P5 million to P10 million I N I T I A L C O S T O F BUYING AND SHIPPING MEDICAL AND WELLNESS EQUIPMENT 20 TO 30 PERCENT USUAL RATES GIVEN TO WEBSITES THAT PROMOTE VOUCHERS FOR ESTABLISHMENTS 40 percent of gro ss monthly income GOES TO UTILITIES (WATER, ELE CTRICITY) FOR A SPA
70 FH M OCTOBER 2015
Binibini, “because she wanted me to finish college…but I guess it turned out well because it led me to this.” While training for the pageant, Dani realized how feeling good inside affected your appearance. “I took up naturopathy a school for alternative medicine. My mom enrolled, too! That time, she owned a slimming spa, and I was already observing her market. I thought to myself, ‘This could use more help and services.’ Two years later, Dani l aunched her own spa, which doubled as a clinic for naturopathic procedures. “My mom helped me put up the business, but all of my savings and earnings went to financing this,” Dani says. “Danielle Castaño Beauty and Wellness is now on its second year and with a second branch—I must say business is good!”
stan ding o ut Danielle Castaño Beauty and Wellness In Libis competes with at least 15 other beauty and wellness spas in the area. That number excludes gyms and fitness studios. Dani says that the critical stage of a business like hers is always the first year, “because that’s when you’re establishing rapport and reputation.” Also, such services “sometimes intimidate men,” she says. “So befriending male celebrities and athletes helped me establish that beauty and wellness are signs of a good and proper man.” Her investment for the medical equipment alone c ost her millions of pesos, andr monthly rent for a space that could fit all of it went on the top end of the five digit range. What’s her plan to create customer traffic that can meet these expenses? “I combined slimming, which was available at my mom’s spa, with the wellness aspect I learned in school. It’s a way of attracting a bigger clientele, because we have more services to offer,” Dani says. A basic slimming treatment would roughly cost you a little over P20,000; the wellness part at almost P6,000. But to be able to cater to all classes, the spa offers discount vouchers for a bulk of sessions. “The trick is to get them to try for a very low price,” Dani says. “Then when they see the value of their money, babalik-balikan na nila. A business like this thrives on patronage. Public relations is key.” FHM
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W O R D S
CHISE ALCANTARA PHOTOS COUR TESY OF
PHIVOLCS A D D I T I O N A L P H O T O S B Y
WENG BARLETA
P R O J E C T :
SPECIAL THANKS TO
PHIVOLCS AND THEIR ATLAS MAPPERS: LYNN MELOSANTOS, MABEL ABIGANIA, MABEE CAHULOGAN, KAT PAPIONA, AND JEFF PEREZ.
MABELLINE “MABEE” CAHULOGAN Senior Science Research Specialist, Phivolcs
HO W NO TI CE
JEFFREY “JEFF” PEREZ
TA KI NG OF
SO ME
MA RK ER S O N T HE
Supervising Research Specialist, Phivolcs
TH E
PA VE ME NT
CO UL D
ME AN
TH E DI FF ER EN CE BE TW EE N
MA. ISABEL “MABEL” ABIGANIA
A ND
Senior Science Research Specialist, Phivolcs
MA. LYNN “JE D” MELOSANTOS Senior Science Research Specialist, Phivolcs
KATHLEEN “KAT” PAPIONA Senior Science Research Specialist, Phivolcs
LI FE
D E AT H
ight smack in the middle of a street in an upscale subdivision somewhere in Quezon City, you’ll find an awkwardly placed marker labeled “West Valley Fault” encircled and painted in bold blocky white letters. Another thing about this strangely placed marker is that it has two huge arrows protruding out of it, facing opposite directions, which just so happens to both directly point at two big houses, and by extension all the other bigger houses they transect. The doomsday preppers among us can only imagine that when the Big One comes—a possible magnitude 7.2—the ground will shake uncontrollably then split open, swallowing all the structures in the path of t he destructive arrows into an endless, bottomless abyss. Could it be possible for the ground to yaw from underfoot like a gaping mouth? Could it be possible for the whole of Metro Manila to be swallowed by a Pasig River Tsunami? (in fact, tsunamis only happen over seas and oceans, but you understand the panic). “Hindi naman talaga maghihiwalay yung lupa. Sa sine lang yun nangyayari ,” says Mabel Abigania, Senior Science Research Specialist and Coastal Land Formation Specialist at the Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology (Phivolcs). “At most aakyat lang siya, yung tipong hindi na magiging magka-level yung
street.” According to the Phivolcs Earthquake Hazards Presentation, a presentation the government agency gives concerned citizens who want to know more about hazard prevention, a magnitude 8 earthquake will cause structures to move and fall, as well as cause possible landslides, fire hazards, and liquefaction of water-saturated land. A quake’s intensity depends on the estimated effect it will have on people, structures, and the environment. Those of us who were alive t o experience the 1990 magnitude 7.8 Luzon Earthquake (it practically leveled Baguio) will say that it’s like balancing impossibly on a plank of wood with a single iron ball underneath—only that the plank of wood feels like the entire world and the iron ball is the earth’s core itself. It’s damn near apocalyptic. “Gusto ipakita ng mga LGUs sa kanilang mga constituents kung saan dumadaan yung fault kaya nilagay nila yung mga markers sa mga lugar na makikita kaagad ng public. Awareness and visibility yung purpose ng mga markers.” 74
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OCTOBER 2015
The five VFS Atlas mappers pos ing for a picture while taking a break fr om trenching the fault. From lef t to right: Jed Melosantos, Mabel Abigania, Mabee Cahulogan, Kat Papiona, Jeff Perez.
says Kat Papiona, Senior Science Research Specialist and Fault Specialist at Phivolcs. The marker at the QC subdivision is one of about hundreds of points dotting Metro Manila, says Phivolcs. Further eastward to Marikina, FHM pinpointed two more, one transecting a military camp and another going right t hrough a public school. Going Southwest towards the Pasig-Mandaluyong area there is another marker (it’s actually a sign) right smack in another exclusive subdivision. There is another one in lower Bicutan, one arrow pointing to government buildings and the other through a densely populated urban poor community. The West Valley Fault stretches 160 km, from Bulacan to Cavite and Laguna. (There is another fault on the East Valley side, but it only stretches 16 km from Rodriguez [Formerly Montalban] to San Mateo Rizal.) “The residents in areas that the fault transects will have to reinforce their houses so that when the earthquake hits, the structure won’t collapse instantaneously and the people inside can still get out. Pero kung informal settlers ang pag-uusapan dapat gawan ng government ng paraan para ma-relocate sila ,” says Papiona. It’s going to take a lot of work. The West Valley fault runs through 16 municipalities and cities. To even consider one of Phivolcs’ guidelines, that there should be no structures within five meters from the fault is next to impossible—it would mean removing schools, houses, a whole strip of bustling human life. But something needs to be done. In April 2015, Nepal was struck by a magnitude 7.8 earthquake which caused a reported estimate of 10,600 casualties and severely damaged the city of Kathmandu. “Tingnan ninyo yung nangyari
sa Nepal, kahit early pa ng 100 years yung estimated time ng malaki nilang earthquake, biglang tumama yung major event na yun,” says Abigania. “Papasok na tayo sa estimated 400year cycle ng major earthquake kaya dapat lagi tayong handa sa mga p’wedeng mangyari .
Mapping operations The marker is a palpable result of the Valley Fault System Atlas, a project began by the Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology (Phivolcs) two years ago to map the West Valley Fault. It’s a detailed atlas, pinpointing exact locations where the fault will transect populated areas, hence the need to put markers on the ground as a clear warning sign. The earliest data on the movements of what we now know as the West Valley Fault was recorded as early as 1658. The Philippine Weather Bureau, formed in American-era 1901, continued cataloguing the fault’s activity, and onwards until the establishment the Philippine Atmospheric Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration in 1972; in 1982, Phivolcs was formed as the seismological arm of Pagasa. The official name of West Valley Fault before was Marikina Valley Fault but it was changed to avoid confusion and take away the stigma from Marikina. The data shows that the fault has moved four times in the past 1,400 years, which has led to the approximation that it will move once again soon. In the early 2000s, Phivolcs produced a 1:10,000 (1cm = 100 meters) scale Valley Fault System (VFS) map, twice as accurate as the previous map they had been using (1:50,000; 1cm = 500 meters). While useful, the former maps were not as detailed as the Atlas is now. www.fhm.com.ph
Wha t can b e pre ven ted In response to the mappers’ efforts to spread awareness of the possible hazards of the Valley Fault System, several LGUs have engaged their own constituents to try and help them understand what they can accomplish on a community level. In Marikina, The Marikina City Disaster Risk Reduction & Management Office became one of the busiest units because of the extent their city is affected by the VFS. Dr. Val A. The process that had to be completed to place a Barcinal, Disaster fault line marker. From Risk Reduction & trenching to placing the Management Officer, marker to the final result– explained how they white paint on asphalt. engaged the various sectors of their city. “There is a forum that The Atlas contains more building footprints and is well-attended by the community where the names of streets, which could help the layman members of the community are encouraged to interpret the maps easier. The purpose of the prepare as homeowners and individuals. Since maps is to “help give awareness to the public by they have the means (financially) to validate giving them the tools they need to be informed,” their structures, they had their houses analyzed says Papiona. by structural engineers to see what damages In 2012, Phivolcs, with the Department they could expect when The Big One happens,” of Science and Technology (DOST), revisited says Barcinal. the VFS as one component of the project Dr. Barcinal explains the homeowners’ “Enhancing Greater Metro Manila Areas situation: “Once your house or establishment is (GMMA) Institutional Capacities for Effective found to be transected by the fault, you have Disaster/ Climate Risk Management towards only two courses of action: you either have Sustainable Development,” or the GMMAa structural engineer validate the integrity of READY Project. your property and do some retro-fitting for the The task of mapping fell on five young building or you can transfer to another l ocation. geologists: Kathleen Papiona, Ma. Lynn It’s not their fault that their houses were built on Melosantos, Jeffrey Perez, Mabelline Cahulogan, top of the fault, but now they have to accept this and Ma. Isabel Abigania. They reviewed the reality, and they have to act on it.” aerial photographs they inherited from the previous batch of fault specialists to figure out A resp ons e where to go to personally see the fault. After For a time, the geologists from Phivolcs were they pinpointed the location of the fault, they considered the worst real estate speculators. had to go out for field validation. They were “May time nung early ’90s na hindi usually sent in pairs (one handled the northern makapasok yung members namin sa mga region while the other handled the south) so subdivisions dahil hindi naniniwala yung mga that they would have more eyes on the field tao na great threat talaga yung fault sa kanila. while still upholding t heir standard of accuracy. Parang sinasabi ng mga tao, ‘Ah, ginagawa A series of peer reviews ensued after they lang yan ng Phivolcs para mag-devaluate yung drew the basic drafts of their findings. These property.’ Ngayon, ang ikinatutuwa namin, kahit peer reviews included not only the mappers but mga private subdivisions, proactive na with their several other members of Phivolcs including properties’ safety,” says Abigonia. their directors as well as other external persons “May event kami , yung Walk-thefrom government units such as the Geosciences Fault, sinasamahan namin yung mga LGU Bureau, the Office of the Civil Defense, mapping representatives para ituro yung mga tina- agency Namria, and also help from foreign transect ng fault. Phivolcs mappers walk with geologist. city and community representatives through The team spent two years mapping the their city, showing them where the fault line is entirety of 177 kilometers worth of landforms located and warning the owners of transected affected by the West and East Valley Faults. establishments and homes. The LGUs are the www.fhm.com.ph
ones responsible for placing their own markers once the mappers have shown them where the line transects their area,” says Abegonia. The University of the Philippines National Institute of Geological Sciences (UP-NIGS) recently launched their own version of the Atlas by plotting the fault line on the much easier to read Google Earth Maps. But the Phivolcs mappers themselves are hesitant to actually recommend the plotted Google Earth map to the public because “gumagalaw yung linya—sumasakabilang-bahay yung fault,” as Abegonio puts it. Phivolcs put five-meter buffer zones where, ideally, no structure should be built, along the points transected by the fault but the relative error of the plotted Google Earth Map reached up to 20 meters, which caused confusion. “Kasi kung kaya namin ilagay nang ganun kadali sa mobile apps accurately yung fault line, sana matagal na naming ginawa pero alam nga naming na-o-offset yung linya. Madugo kasi yung process ng review from our base drawings to the plotting—mga two years din yun,” Abigonia says. “Kailangan ding magturo ng basic map reading sa mga schools dito ,” says Papiona. “Maraming hindi nakaka-appreciate nung mismong map dahil hindi nila kayang basahin. Gusto nilang ilagay namin sa Google Earth Maps para raw kapag na-zoom-in nila para pati yung streets nakikita—hindi kasi nila mahanap kung nasaan yung mga bahay nila ,” adds Mabel. A PDF version of the Atlas is available for download after registering on the Phivolcs website. The people at Philvolcs encourages the people to ask them about how to properly read the map so they can prepare earthquake hazard prevention strategies that they might want to adopt. They also encourage them to ask questions so they can get informed answers to make them feel less anxious about the possible effects of a big earthquake.
In the face o f fear “Ang takot ng mga tao ay kung transected yung bahay o establishment nila pero sa totoo lang, lahat naman ng Metro Manila malulumpo kapag tumama ‘tong binansagan nilang The Big One.,” Abegonia says. While Dr. Barcinal believes that they have equipped the people of Marikina City with enough information to ready them for the worst, he also worries that “they might still be in a state of denial since there hasn’t been any reports of people who reinforced their houses or actually relocated,” says Barcinal. “They’re just hoping that the earthquake won’t happen during their lifetime. Mahal din naman kasing magpa- building analysis, kaya yung iba, prayers na lang daw .” It’s a noble and divine way to face fear. Unfortunately, an earthquake, like all forces of nature, could not care less. FHM OCTOBER 2015
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75
EVERY NOOB’S GUIDE TO
, Your first go at copulation won t be porn-grade , spectacular but that doesn t mean it has to be awkward , , and uncomfortable. Here s to all the diddling you ll get, mr. freshman...
WORDS
KHYNE L. PALUMAR ILLUSTRATIONs
juno abreu
WORST FEARS FIRST�TIME THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
Hurting her during insertion GUIDELINES/W HAT YOU’RE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT
Rule and middle finger): if she , of thumb (or forefinger , isn t wet yet, it isn t a good time to stick it in. To get her wet and keep her wet, sex therapists advise exercising whole body love making, meaning you touch and stimulate her ev erywhere else: hair , lips, neck , tits, ass-, not just before, but during entry, and as long as you re , in there. , Note: vaginas lose their lube when she s bored. So don t just concentrate on the thrusting bits. Keep it slow and steady on the first slide in.
FIRST�TIME THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
Early ejaculations GUIDELINES/WHA T YOU’RE GOI NG TO DO ABOUT IT
Every sex manual will already have told you to squeeze your penis or , think of unsexy thoughts (binay s bumbunan, for example) to delay ejaculation. The less stressful first-timer approach: have at least one ejaculation prior ,to sticking it in. That way there s what urologists call a refractory period, in which your penis is still recovering from a , previous orgasm, so it can t have another right away.
FIRST�TIME THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
Getting her pregnant on the first go GUIDELINES/W HAT YOU’RE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT
The smart thing to do is to wear rubber, of course, see: preventing condom conk-outs. On her end, the closer she is to her period (three days before and after, if her cycle , is regular) the likelier her ,eggs won ,, t be pairing with your sperm. She s safe when , she s havi ng , her period, too--although, well, that s up to you.
FIRST�TIME THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
Not pleasing her GUIDELINES/WHA T YOU’RE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT
FIRST�TIME THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
It varies, but according to Pfizer's Ideal Sex Survey of 2010--what's noted as across-the-board pleasurable for women is a harder schlong. Between erectile hardness scores of 1 to 4--1 being so ft as a tofu, 2 a banana without its peel, 3 banana with the peel, and 4 hard as a cucumber, almost all women respondents prefer the cucumber. Bottomline: if you're excited, she's excited.
Not sustaining your hardness GUIDELINES/WH AT YOU’RE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT
, Don t think about it. a briefly limp penis in your 20s and at your first go is normal and nothing to get worked up about. fondle her tits. Kiss her lips. Give totoy a few tugs and it should get back up.
FIRST�TIME THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
Going limp mid-thrust GUIDELINES/W HAT YOU’RE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT
Change up your rhythmic pace: if you're thrusting slow, go fast. If you're at it fast, give totoy the time by feeling through it and going slow. Or pull out, do as above hack (not sustaining hardness) and get back in.
STIFFING HOPES FIRS T TIME THIN GS Y O U H O P E H A P P E N S
REALITY CH ECK / WHAT WILL LIKELY HAPPEN INSTEAD
Simultaneous orgasms
The odds of “coming together,” are higher when you’re older and in longer-termed relationships. Younger couples will want it, but odds are low that they’d actually get them—at least that’s what the Kinsey Institute has gleaned from their partners’ orgasm reports so far.
Sticking it in her hole with the accuracy of a jumpboard-diver
Even if you managed to get it in without that awkward pause (“Is it in?”), it will occasionally slip out of her vagina between thrusts—it happens. Find your rhythm through practice.
Smoothly moving between and pulling off a position''
Pornos and sex manuals make it look like basic cut-and-dry poses. In real life, raising her legs a few inches higher, spreading her legs wider, the angles from which you’re entering her, and other nuisances, make it a different “position” each time.
RITES OF PASSAGE
POST-DIDDLING THINGS TO DO ON YOUR WAY OUT It’s a wrap!
WHAT TO DO IN GENTLEMEN'S CLUBS
MOVING PAST THESE CLASSICS, TURN TO P26, I.E. HOW TO SCORE E-HOOKUPS
F a n c i e r t h a n y o u r t i t o ’ s s e x y K T V s Gawk at the ladies’ creative “uniforms” Get lapdances from Russian women and assorted non-Pinay or half-Pinay “entertainers”
RECOLLECT used UNDERWEAR because you're past learning how to undo her bra and panties, the decent thing to do is not step on them on the floor after.
Wolf down food churned out by five-star hotel chefs Do a double take on the too-posh toilets Enjoy the show Slide your tips in bikini garters
Cleanup Wrap used rubber in tissue before pitching it in the trash Don't flush it down the toilet. Lay gunky sheets on the floor if at a hotel, or in the laundry if you're home.
Get thrown out by bouncers when you get piss-drunk grabby
-
Have another one and another. Being in your 20s is as good excuse as any.
MOT-MOT-ESE FOR BEGINNERS What those motel signs say
SHORT TIME One to three hours of room stay
TAXI ROOM / GARAGE ROOM Cab or your own oto are led to a garage, you enter your adjoining room stealthily from there
ROOMBOY Summoned for payments and at checkout, and at welcome lingering outside motel room premises, like an accommodations waiter asking which room you’d like to “order,” before he guides you to a garage.
CONSUmMABLES Food, and other things listed on room service menus
nap and/or cuddle it's the closest you'll get to a post-sex massage.
14/15 Wally almost aced the test—even Lola Nidora would be proud!
THE MA N TEST LEADERBOARD
Sef Cadayona Wally Bayola Dan Villegas Boy2 Quizon Jose Manalo Ranidel de Ocampo Chito Miranda A ld en Ri ch a r ds RA Rivera Gloc-9 Loonie Medwin Marfil Brandon Vera
15/15 14/15 14/15 13/15 13/15 13/15 13/15 1 2/ 15 12/15 12/15 12/15 12/15 11/15
The FHM man test This month’s challenger...
W A L L Y
B A Y O L A
The man behind Lola Nidora plays his roles so convincingly it’s confusing. So here we subject Eat Bulaga! ’s polarizing ‘Kalyeserye’ granny to the ultimate don test... Have you ever sniffed used underwear? Hindi. Pag alam ko kasing gamit na yung damit, tinatabi ko na yun sa marumihan… lalo kung underwear, ha ha! Man
Not man
Would you ever carry your girlfriend’s purse at the mall if she asked you to? Keri lang, wala namang problema. Hindi yun big deal sa akin, unless siguro matinee idol ako or action star, parang hindi bagay. Man
Not man
What’s the worst thing you were teased about as a kid? Hinambing ako dati sa tinapay na putok. Hawig daw kasi ng mga biyas ko yun—matataba, mabilog. Galit na galit ako kasi hindi ko pa maintindihan dati kung bakit yun yung point of comparison. Mas okay pa yata kung asarin mo akong pandak, kasi gets ko agad.
Have you ever farted openly in public? Oo, lalo sa barangay pag “Sugod Bahay” para hindi halata. Maingay kasi dun eh, hindi na mapapansin pag umutot ka. Man
Not man
If you could blow up one thing, what would it be? Naku, maraming tatamaan! Ha ha! Pero siguro, Customs. Man
Not man
If the world were to end tomorrow, what would your last meal be? Chocolate cake and donuts. Mahilig ako sa dessert eh.
What’s the best Dubsmash you’ve watched? Gusto ko yung kay Yaya Dub [Maine Mendoza], nung nagDubsmash siya ng lines ni Lola Nidora. Dun talaga ako napamangha. Kayangkaya niya pati facial expressions ko.
Man
Man
Man
Not man
Not man
Not man
What’s the name of the coolest pet you’ve ever had? Nagkaroon ako ng itim na Labrador dati. Nung una ko pa lang siya nakita, isa lang talaga yung pangalan na naisip kong bagay sa kanya—Brando. Mataba rin siya. Man
Not man
Have you ever taken secret selfies? Oo, pero binubura ko rin kasi napapangitan ako sa mukha ko, ha ha!
What’s the longest you’ve gone without wearing deodorant? Nung umakyat kami ng mga kaibigan ko sa Mt. Isarog sa Bicol, mga apat na araw siguro akong hindi nakapagdeodorant. Hindi na kasi kami nagdala pa ng mga pampabigat na ganun, ha ha!
Man
Man
Man
Not man
Not man
Have you ever worn your briefs outside your pants and pretended to be a superhero? Parang hindi pa. Siguro yung maglagay ng kapa sa may leeg ko, oo, pero yung sa briefs hindi pa. Mahirap lang kami noon eh, so hindi ko pa kilala nun yung iba’t ibang superheroes. Nagkaroon lang ako ng idea sa superheroes nung grade six na ako. Man
What fictional villain scares you the most? Hindi siya villain eh, pero takot na takot talaga ako kay Linda Blair sa The Exorcist . Hindi ako masyadong natatakot sa mga multo o monsters, pero pag may pagsanib nang nangyayari, kinikilabutan talaga ako. Nakakita na kasi ako ng sinaniban sa school, umangat yung estudyante tapos ang lakas-lakas talaga niya.
Not man
Can you name one highranking FHM woman you’ve had an unforgettable experience with? Marian Rivera. Nakakasama kasi namin siya sa “Sugod Bahay” dati. Gusto ko yung pagiging totoo niya kahit sa harap ng camera. ‘Pag may gusto siyang sabihin, hindi siya nagpapapigil. Mabait talaga siyang tao, lalo na sa mga nanay o lola. Makananay kasi si Marian. Man
Not man
Not man
Which romantic comedy makes you feel giddy inside? Sa totoo lang, kinikilig ako sa #AlDub ng “Kalyeserye.” Pinipigilan ko lang. Man
Not man
Have you ever had blood in your hands that was not yours? Oo. Dati kasi meron akong sinagip na kaibigan ko na nabugbog at nasaksak sa may tagiliran. Hindi naman siya napuruhan. Man
Not man
O L L I T S A C G N O P : W E I V R E T N I S A N E R A S I U O L : N O I T A R T S U L L I
I T ’ S
T O
PHOTOGRAPHY:
N O T
H A R D
P L E A S E
EJAY LEUNG OF MIDNIGHT BONKERS INTERVIEW:
ASH MAHINAY
STYLING: DEBRA BERNALES MAKEUP: AMANDA PADILLA OF AT EAST | JED ROOT HAIR: CATS DEL ROSARIO
Times are hard. Finding a nice girl is hard. Impressing a nice girl is hard. We can’t blame a guy if he just slithers back to his man cave after work and puts on some gorY and sextastic TV series rather than chase some action. Thankfully, not a small number of women find watching a certain show quite appealing—a show that if it was a video game would probably have them eye-rolling us nonstop—and specifically, a super fine woman named Princess Legaspi wouldn’t even mind if you invited her over to do just that.
Whenever we meet a girl named Princess, we can’t help but subconsciously expect kaartehan. Tell us we’re wrong about you. Nah, I’m probably the most cowboy princess you’ll ever meet! I don’t need a castle or jewelry. All I need is ice cream and pizza. All right, maybe a cute bellboy to cater to my needs, ha ha! Would you rather be a modern royalty or the more Disney sort? Who wants to wear ball gowns in weather like this? Ha ha! I’d rather be Khaleesi of Game of Thrones . Guys don’t need girls who want to be treated like a princess, they need women in control! Speaking of taking charge, we hear you hosted a travel show before? I did! The show’s called Upload. It’s still on YouTube actually, but they’re at least a year old. I had a great time traveling—I mean, who wouldn’t? And all expenses paid too, ha ha! Aside from all the fun, I also learned a lot. Hosting is different from modeling and I'm thankful to have gotten a taste of both worlds. In hosting, you do your best to be awesome in how you look in front of the camera and with what you say. Every time people smile and commend our show, that’s how I know I did a great job. What else do you do apart from modeling and hosting? I’m working on my own digital marketing firm. Everything’s going digital nowadays and I think it’s the perfect time and opportunity. I’m learning as much as I can in order to fulfill that goal. Of course, modeling will always be there and I’m thankful for the opportunities the industry has given me. Is there anything you wish wasn't going digital yet? I wish all businesses would go digital so my business will flourish in no time, ha ha! But one thing I hate about everything going digital is the quality of relationships. You go to a resto and yung couples nag-i-Instagram… they take photos as if they’re having fun! After taking the photo, they go back to their phones and not speak to one another. What’s an hour or
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two of quality time with real, living creatures? You want to be interesting only on your IG or FB bio, but suck in real life conversations? Go ahead, count your followers! Going back to GoT , there are a lot of mature scenes there that we wonder how you feel about…are you a fan? I finished three seasons in a week, that's how addicted I am. The nudity and sex scenes give the show a lot of spice–I love it! I mean, the story is well written, the humor is on point and the actors are amazing, but it wouldn’t be Game of Thrones without the nudity, sex, and gore. Admit it, you guys like it, ha ha!
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Does it ever turn you on? Yes it does! And it’s not even porn-like nudity. Every episode is a turn-on for me—the kind of turn-on that makes me want a guy to watch with me and ask him, “Can you tame my dragon, my grace?” Ha ha! So how would you react to someone asking you out by saying “Come over and let’s watch some TV series and movies, and hang out”? Yeah, sure! I’d love to have a chilland- nothing-fancy date. I just want to make sure he’s decent enough to really make it “chill” as he proposed. If not, Khaleesi will surely be furious. Ha ha! FH M
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I’M PROBABLY THE MOST
s S e c in r P C o w b o y ever meet A CASTLE OR JEW ELRY.
all I need is AND
please
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OCTOBER 2015
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Talking Body MI RTLE GIM EN EZ HAS WAYS TO KEE P ALL EYES ON HE R
Photography:
Ejay Leung of Midnight Bonkers Interview:
Pong Castillo Styling:
Debra Bernales Makeup:
Janina Dizon Hair:
Emmanuel Hernandez II I
Myrtle Gimeno
A
side from having a pretty face and a stunning body to match it, model Mirtle Gimenez could intimidate a shy guy for a few more reasons: she stands tall at 5’7” (legs for days!) and is pretty smooth in presenting herself (thanks to her experience in beauty pageants). But thanks to this quick encounter, we learned a few tricks to get close with girls like her. “Never play safe,” she says. “It pays to be confident when grabbing opportunities that are out there.” Right now the best we can get our hands on is this rag with her photos in. A welcome opportunity…
You have the stance and body of a supermodel, we’re pretty sure we’ve seen you somewhere… I didn’t have any professional training as a model. I started in high school, but was not able to push through with it in college. When I joined Bb. Pilipinas in 2010, I was fortunate enough to qualify in the top 60. I tried again in 2015, but didn’t make it so far. I’m not sure if that’s for me, but I really enjoyed every moment of it. That opened up a lot of opportunities.
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We’re glad you took this one! I always say I’m not getting any younger, I’m past my mid 20s, and this is my way of immortalizing my youth. Grab the opportunity while it’s there! We like beauty pageants, and we won’t deny we’re just as curious as to what happens backstage… I was actually culture-shocked because I saw women who were really, really beautiful. I even got star-struck. What I did was make new friends. Was it your childhood dream? It was! Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always been kikay . I like dressing up and going to my mom’s dresser to put on makeup. Joining the pageant was a dream come true. What would you say was the toughest part of the competition? It’s more physically challenging before the big night because we’re always surrounded by the media. Smiling and having the right stance are tiring. Lagi pa kaming naka -heels. Also, kahit gano kami kapagod, we couldn’t just pig out kasi we’re trying to avoid unnecessary bulges, ha ha! Still no unneccesary bulges! What keeps you busy now? I’m actually a trainer for a BPO company. My shift is at 3 a.m., but the challenge of the job really is dealing with 25 different personalities, managing them, and training them. I enjoy it, though. They are like an extended family to me. You’re really outspoken and weren’t shy communicating with our photographer. Do you like a guy who is just as outspoken? I believe in communication. Of course I want decent communication with people. I have to admit na minsan jejemon din ako , but as long as a guy knows how to clearly express himself, I’m fine with that. Do you think the way you speak intimidates men? Kasi inglisera … Yeah, that’s a factor. Sometimes you have people just stare at you and not be able to say a word, ha ha! I suggest just being confident. Confidence goes a long way! What we’re really trying to ask is—what’s your type of guy? I like spontaneity. Let’s engage in good conversations. Does that mean height difference won’t be a deal breaker as long as the guy is a good talker? I went out with smaller guys, and I didn’t see anything wrong in that. Medyo awkward, but you both have to make sure hindi magiging factor yun sa kahit anong gagawin niyo . FH M
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’
Myrtle Gimeno
. y t i e n a t on p s e k i l I d o o g n i ge a g n e s ’ Le t n s o i t a s r e c on v
’
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ALL-YOU-CAN-READ Enjoy UNLIMITED access to your favorite
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NEWS WHAT TO BUY AND HOW TO WEAR IT WORDS ASH MAHINAY PRODUCT PHOTOGRAPHY MIKE DEE
Hoodie, P4,990
First in, last out Even surfers need jackets American surfwear brand O’Neill’s founder is credited for creating the first wetsuit, because it gets pretty damn cold when you go out to catch waves first thing in the morning. Legend says other surfers said he looked like a loser in his then space age getup, but old man Jack O’Neill had the last laugh as he could head in long after everyone else had frozen their balls off in the ocean. This is where the hoodies come in, to avoid the on-shore chills after you finally decide to quit beaching around when it’s already 6 p.m.
COSTUME QUEST!
Pretending to be someone you’re not, but looking cool anyway ARTU NEPOMUCENO ASSISTED BY IGNACIO GADOR ASH MAHINAY
F H ME S TY L
STYLING:
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DANIEL BRADBU RY OF MERCATOR
M
ost Halloween dressup parties involve lots of last-minute effort and imbento . Rather than seeing it as a headache, we recommend using this time to dress up to…actually dress up–in something you wouldn’t normally wear but are secretly dying to try out. If people think it’s cool, then you’re free to break it out for the rest of the year—otherwise you’ve succeeded in helping Halloween become a bit scarier in your own little way. Happy haunting!
Agent Smith
The biggest dresscode hurdle for a man: the full suit. Even if you're not a banker or a businessman, you may be curious if you'd look slick all buttoned up. But with no weddings on the horizon, you aren’t finding out anytime soon. Doing an Agent Smith is easy because his suit is basic and bland—but smooth. Blame the suit they think you came to the party to sell coffins. White long sleeve shirt, P1,490, Uniqlo; Bespoke suit and pants, P9,800, Badj ; Claude 5-eye shoes, P22,995, Dr. Martens ; Oakley Taper, P10,695, George Optical
style
LeBron James (MVP Edition)
You aren’t a baller and never will be, but the itch of the nation’s pastime is finally getting to you. Avoid the try-hard baller stage by debuting your flashy new NBA jersey at the party when everyone is drunk and more forgiving. Reduces subsequent on-court debut jeers by approximately fifty percent*! *except from Warriors fans.
Cleveland Swingman jersey, P3,495, adidas ; Cleveland shorts, P2,195, adidas ; Basketball shoes, P8,495, adidas ; NBA MVP Replica Trophy available from Raymundo’s Awards, #24-A East Capitol Drive, Kapitolyo, Pasig
HAN SOLO
Never worn slim jeans in your life? Sneak your way into your first pair of skinny black denims and boots in the guise of the galaxy’s smoothest smuggler. The old-school tsaleko will break the ice, and your newfound sexiness will hopefully follow up with swag. If it doesn’t work, go hide under the floor panels of your house just like Luke Skywalker on the Falcon. Long sleeve shirt, P1,080, Badj; Custom vest, P880, Badj; Skinny tapered jeans, P2,490, Uniqlo; Brooks jungle boots, P6,495, Dr. Martens
style STAR LORD
A leather jacket is impractical for 99 percent of the days in a Philippine year–Halloween night is not one of them. Try the James Dean look by riding off the goodwill everyone feels for Guardians of the Galaxy ’s Star Lord. Do not admit to buying the jacket unless you garner a favorable response. Shirt, P290, Uniqlo; Leather jacket, stylist’s own; Skinny tapered jeans, P2,490, Uniqlo; Reid boots, P7,995, Dr. Martens
TED MOSBY
How I Met Your Mother ’s
Ted isn’t accused of being a preppy douchebag because of his button down-andsweater combo, but you aren’t going to get away scot-free here. Test the good boy look during bad habits night and try to find your future baby mother as well with your schoolboy charms. Oxford long sleeve shirt, P1,290, Uniqlo; Extra fine wool sweater, P1,699, Uniqlo; Skinny tapered jeans, P2,490, Uniqlo; Superstars, P4,795, adidas
the
DILEMMAS of
MAN
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SLEEPOVER DRESSING How to look the part in another man’s cave
I
t’s an increasingly rare activity as we get older, but an all boys overnight gathering– often to catch a sporting final at an unholy hour–is still good fun. Now, rules aren’t fun, but there is a bare minimum of decorum to be expected when it comes to clothing at these events…
WORDS:
AS H M A H I NAY ILLUSTRATIONS:
M E LV I N C A L I N G O
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DON’T
DO
Go boxers only
Wear a jersey
This look provides peak comfort, and your co-conspirators probably won’t care, but imagine the potential horror of other non-man housemates as you both head to the kitchen for a late night glass of water.
Outside of office liga and late-night scrims, this is one of the rare times where you can rock your favorite kit with no judgment. Also, there is always the high chance of an impromptu basketball sesh the next morning.
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THE DILEMMAS OF MAN
DO
DON’T
DO
W e a r th at ‘s k wa m m y’ t e e
Forget a change of clothes
B r i n g sh o e s
Just in case harutan gets out of hand, you have a shirt that can be ripped–kidding. Just like how the entire night is holding on to your youth, hold on to a past favorite shirt by using it despite the threadbare nature. There are always at least two delightfully aged tees at any sleepover, and they always look comfy as fuck.
The worst guy at an all-nighter is the guy who stays in his work attire the entire time. Everyone experiences secondhand discomfort when you’ve got slacks and a shirt on all night. Also wearing your work socks to go home the next day feels gross.
Some of us have mothers who wouldn’t let us out of the house with only slippers on. Heed that advice because you don’t want your squad to look like a hold-up gang when restocking on supplies at the local 24/7 convenience store.
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OCTOBER 2014
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FHM OCTOBER
Cristine Elle Import model proves tha t Brooklyn girls are as tough as advertised
RIA REGINO OF FAT CAT STUDIO
MIKEY AGULTO
STYLING: DEBRA BERNALES MAKEUP: AMANDA PADILLA OF AT EAST | JED ROOT HAIR: LEI PONCE
Cristine’s life this month
Weekend, I love you!
Hollywood hills and suburban thrills.
Lazy Sunday. What’s everyone up to?
rooklyn-based hottie Christine Elle has a certain syrupy charm about her that can make any man giggle, but the last thing you want to do is mistake her sweetness for weakness. You’re looking at a girl who goes around in a red convertible, pilots a chopper, spends a lot of time in the great outdoors, and has strong ties to the gritty streets of Tondo, just to name a few. What can we say? Girl’s got balls. Most Filipinos would love to have a career in New York. Why fly all the way to Manila? I love New York, but I can’t forget about my roots. As a dual citizen, I would love to be able to do what I love in both countries. Are Brooklyn girls really as tough as advertised? New York will chew you up and spit
B
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you out if you let it. I’m no fighter, but I use other ways to get what I want, such as confidence and education. Think we’ll survive out there? People in Brooklyn are friendly. As Notorious B.I.G. put it, “We spread love the Brooklyn way.” There are all walks of life in the city, but if you find the right crowd, you’ll do just fine. Any Pinoy influences growing up? My parents always exposed me to the Filipino culture. They spoke in Tagalog and fed me Filipino food every day. My mom is from Capiz and my dad is from Tondo, so watch out! Any chance of you moving here? I actually come here very often, so you never know. I’m planning to find a place in Makati so I could stay longer. You’re a well-known car show model in the States. Do you walk, erm, drive the talk? I’ve been in the import industry for a
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while, but I’m still learning new things every day. It’s a scene that keeps evolving. I drive a red 1995 Mazda Miata MX-5 manual convertible. Do you let the guys drive, or do you like doing the driving yourself? Call me old-fashioned, but I love gentlemen. I like it when a man picks me up, drives me, opens the door for me, and offers a hand to help me out. Bonus points if he has a nice car! You strike us as somewhat of a tomboy, is that true in any way? I recently flew a helicopter—I was the actual pilot! I also like snowboarding, camping, diving, rock-climbing, biking, and longboarding. You’re messing with us. I’m not! I’m also learning how to ride a motorcycle and drift right now. Told you I’m as good as advertised, ha ha! FH M
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WIN AT LIFE
PHOTOGRAPHY: NISSAN PHILIPPINES INC. AND NISMO AND KURT ALVAREZ
S S SP P PE E EE E ED D D KING The Philippines has just found a new racing hero in Joward Policario, this year’s Nissan GT Academy Asia champion
Words: Alex C. Paita
F F
or someone who just finished driving at breakneck speeds, Jose Gerard “Joward” Policarpio is quite slow to react, particularly to the barrage of questions people are throwing at him. “How did you do it?” “What’s the feeling like?” “Has it sunk in yet?” Joward smiles faintly, shakes his head, and takes a deep breath. Seated on the side of the track he walked off from just a few minutes a go, he’s understandably caught between exhaustion and disbelief as the media, race organizers, and his teammates from the Philippines take turns at having a photo-op. In between shots, his eyes wander, as if he’s totally detached from the air of festivity going around him. As if it wasn’t at all about him. We are at the Silverstone track in Northamptonshire, UK—regarded all over the world as the Mecca of formula racing—where Joward has just been named the first-ever Nissan GT Academy Asian champion. He eclipsed 28 other racing protegés from Thailand, India, Japan, a nd Indonesia, including five fellow Pinoys, after a weeklong race camp that tested their mettle in both racing and physical challenges, capped off by a final 10-lap race he finished in gripping fashion. “I guess it hasn’t sunk in yet,” the 26-year-old champ tells FHM at trackside. “I still can’t believe I won—I can’t believe I even made it here.” It was a long, hard-fought battle after all. Nissan Philippines Inc. launched the Nissan GT Academy locally in April of this year, a first time for the country to take part in the seven-year-old tilt. Joward and the 28 other Asian finalists are actually just a few of the thousands of hopefuls from all over the region. Each country had to trim the contestants down to 20, and then to a final six, through a series of live time-trial events—not in actual racecars or on tracks, but on Nissan gaming pods. Yes. Gaming pods. Racecar simulators like the ones you see in amusement centers, except they’re built on a solid PlayStation platform. In order to make it to the GT Academy qualifiers, and eventually take a crack at becoming a full-fledged international racecar driver, one has to possess a very specific skill: Play Gran Turismo like a god.
HARD DRIVE GT Academy is a driver discovery program developed by Nissan and PlayStation in 2008 for grooming hardcore gamers for mainstream motorsport. The final winner of each region—in Asia’s case, Joward—is set to undergo an intensive, three-month long Driver Development Program by Nissan, and take part in the upcoming Dubai 24 Hour Race in January next year. It’s the stuff hardcore gamers’ wet dreams are made of, especially for people like Joward, who has been playing Gran Turismo ever since it first came out on the PlayStation 1 in 1998. “I didn’t know na magkakaroon ng GT Academy sa Pilipinas until it was already here,” Joward says. “A neighbor sent me a message saying, ‘Hey, maybe you’d like to try this out. After all, you’ve been playing for so long.’ So I gave it a shot.” Joward admits he sucked at it during the first stages of the national leg. “I didn’t do well at first kasi I’d never tried GT6 prior to the qualifiers,” he says. “It took me about a month bago ako nakapasok dun sa Top 20 best times. Everybody was fast. In fact I had to sort of copy how they did it just to get a good time. On the last day of the qualifiers, I ended up as the 20th guy. Sabit lang ako .” The road to the top six, however, found him taking on familiar territory. For this one, players were no longer glued to their seats tackling virtual tracks; they were made to endure physical challenges and a real autocross [the racing equivalent of an obstacle course] driving test on an actual track. “As for the physical challenges, where we had to do planking, push-ups, and the like, I wasn’t the best but I was in one of the top spots,” Joward, who does cycling on weekends, says. “But I got the fastest time in the autocross.”
‘On th e last d ay of the nationa l quali fiers, I ended up as th e 20th guy. Sabi t lang ako’
THE OTHER GUYS These topnotch Gran Turismo gamers also made it to Silverstone
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TERRENCE LLAVE
LOUIE CACHERO
JOEL AGOJO
RAFAEL LE SAGUIS
DARYL BRADY
Age: 29
Age: 25
Age: 40
Age: 20
Age: 27
What he does : Collections agent
What he does : Marketing student
What he does: Auto detailing shop owner
What he does: Pilot/ aviation student
What he does: Instructor, TRS
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TRACK RECORD
‘When I was running second, I knew the Indon esian guy, Andika, would falter sooner or later. So I j u s t w a i te d and tr ied to be as pat ient as I could’
Joward is the son of Boyet Policarpio. Presently the owner of an auto repair shop in Pasay City, he was a racecar driver from the ’70s to the ’90s, even racing for Nissan at local rally events. He shared the track with the likes of racing veterans Arthur Tuason and Pocholo Ramirez, and snagged a few Driver of the Year awards along the way. The older Policarpio taught his son, his only child, how to drive when he was only eight. Driving was purely a father-and-son R&R until the kid followed in his father’s footsteps and started competing at autocross and circuit races as a teen. “I guess it came naturally,” says Joward, who was awarded Ford Focus Cup champion in 2006. “Early on, napapaligiran na ako ng cars dahil sa shop ng dad ko . Day and night, puro kotse lang ang usapan. I looked up to him and wanted to do what he was doing. Racing was his passion and later on it became my passion as well.” Racing had to come to a full stop, however, when Joward finished school in 2010. He had to focus on finding a job. In fact, before the GT Academy, it had been seven years since he last raced on a track. Joward was working in a BPO company around the time Nissan GT Academy was announced here. He only took a leave of absence when he landed on the final six. “ Wala naman akong kasiguraduhan that I’d win,” he says. “I didn’t let go of the job so that if things didn’t go as planned, may babalikan pa rin ako .” Sorry, boss. Things went as planned.
Joward, whose yellow Nissan 370Z No. 5 was positioned at the third grid on the starting line. “But after passing t he Japanese guy, I decided to just wait and see. I knew neither of them was a professional. And sooner or later, one of them would make a mistake.” It didn’t take long before he overtook Takahashi and tailed the Indonesian. “When I was running second, I knew Andika would falter sooner or later. So I just waited and tried to be as patient as I could.” After carefully plotting his attack, Joward made his move on the fifth lap and incisively took the lead. “Andika made a mistake on a crucial corner,” he says. “So I decided to pass him and take the lead as fast as I could.” It was a close fight, with Joward and Andika in close proximity for the rest of the laps. On the last lap, the Indonesian tried to make a move into the final corner, but Joward cunningly defended his position and crossed the finish line just t wo-tenths clear of Andika. The race to the finish line was in fact so intense that both racers unknowingly went on for an 11th lap—providing a bit of comic relief for the audience at trackside and a much needed cool-down for both finishers. Joward acknowledges that Ricardo Sanchez, last year’s GT Academy winner from Mexico, who acted as Team Philippines’ mentor, played a big role in this victory. “He was a lot of help not just to me but the
THE FINAL LAP Pole-sitter Andika Rama from Indonesia started the race strong. He maintained the lead for four laps, tailed by Takuya Takahashi from Japan. “I did want to rush into it and try to get past the two guys in front of me,” says 106
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SURVIVAL TACTICS Essential man-knowledge to help you make the right choices this month
USE SOAP. The World Bank (www.worldbank.org) suggests that sanitation and hygiene don’t only make you feel pogi , but also keep you alive. Handwashing with soap alone prevents 1.4 million deaths worldwide. But don’t use just any soap.
FECES
FLUIDS
FINGERS
FLIES FOOD
FIELDS/ FLOORS
team,” Joward says. “He was very detailed and taught us everything we needed. He’s also a crazy guy. He’s very funny; he likes to joke a lot. His character made the experience more fun and memorable.” But someone back home in the Philippines couldn’t have been prouder of this feat.
S a n i t at i on
“When I got down from the plane in Manila, I immediately received a call from my dad,” Joward says. “There weren't any congratulations. His first question was, ‘ Bakit nung final lap natututukan ka na nung Indonesian?’” As a race driver himself, the older Policarpio knew that if the guy behind you is catching up, it only means one thing: you’re slower than him. “I explained to him that I was having problems with the car. There were fuel issues during the run,” Joward says. The congratulations came after that. “It’s only just now that I figured out how my life’s going to change,” Joward says. On the second week of his Driver Development Training in the UK, he tells FHM via Facebook: “It’s really hard, but it's also fun at the same time. I get to race every weekend and get to learn so much about race-craft. Training without my teammates in a different country, however, is quite lonely, but [GT Academy 2015 Global champion] Matt Simmons is with me and he's a really great guy to be with.” The Hankook Dubai 24 Hour Race is happening two months from now. Joward, his dad, and the whole Nissan and GT community have a lot to look forward to. As for GT gamers aspiring to follow in his footsteps—well, you’ve just found a legitimate excuse for mom and dad why you have to keep pressing those buttons.
‘When I go t down f rom th e plane i n Manil a, I imm ediatel y received a cal l from my dad. Hi s first questi on was, ‘Baki t nung final l ap natututukan ka na nung Indonesian?’
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Hygiene
EAT LOCAL. Pilmico, Aboitiz group’s food subsidiary, wants to bring regional staples closer to everyone, so they started an advocacy themed Mahalin Pagkaing Atin. The more local food you eat, the more you do your part in encouraging farmers to embrace backyard farming. So always choose longganiza over that Braunschweiger sausage, no matter how good the latter sounds. Visit facebook.com/MahalinPagkaingAtin
HERO’S WELCOME
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Cl e an wa t e r su p p l y
LIVE(R) FOREVER. People are talking so much about the heart (#puso) that we sometimes forget another vital organ (nope, that one’s too far down)—we’re talking about your liver. It's tasked with the dreadful job of flushing out toxins and cleansing out your blood. Dr. recommends taking LiverMarin, which contains Silymarin and sodium ascorbate. It’s an antioxidant, anti-cancer agent, and liver metabolite in one. Hooray for #atay.Visit www.facebook. com/ATCLiverMarin
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U P G R A D E
Get shiny gnashers Turn your teeth from coffee-stained terror fangs into the type of pearly whites usually reserved for red carpets
02 01 Words: Wayne Tulio Photography: Rowan Fee/FHM UK
Fight dry mouth
Keep your caffeine and alcohol consumption to a minimum. Drinking too much of these will dry out your mouth. “People with dry mouths lack saliva,” says Dr.
Mary Anne San Juan, DMD. “Without its cleansing effect, the bacterial count in your mouth goes up.” Not only do you make your teeth prone to cavities, you’ll have stinky breath, too. Drinks like coffee, tea, and red wine can also stain your teeth. If you can’t help drinking these beverages, make sure you have a glass of water in between rounds.
Keep it short Unlike sex, brushing your teeth longer won’t make it any better. According to a study published in the British Dental Journal ,
two minutes is enough. Researchers also say the best motion is going up and down the gum line. No fancy circles or complicated techniques to keep your teeth clean.
03 Thrice is nice
How many times should you give your teeth some TLC? “You should brush at least three times a day, usually after meals, to avoid the accumulation of cavity-causing bacteria,” advises Dr. San Juan. While you’re at it, don’t forget to floss, too. Doing so keeps your teeth white— exactly what you want to flash when your cute chinita crush passes by.
A
110 FH M OCTOBER 2015
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4 things that make you smile (but probably shouldn’t)
04 Brush before breakfast
Usual wisdom dictates brushing after meals. But in the mornings, do it before. “Flow of saliva during sleeping hours is low so it’s important that you brush your teeth first thing in order to cleanse your mouth of bacteria accumulated overnight,” explains Dr. San Juan. This prevents the sugars from your breakfast reacting with the bacteria that have settled in on your teeth during sleep, which can cause a number of dental problems in the long run.
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Keep ’em white Dentists offer a number of services to whiten your teeth, but they ain’t cheap. A good solution is to brush your teeth with good old baking soda prior to toothpaste. “It neutralizes the bacteria found in plaque in your teeth,” says Dr. San Juan. “It’s also a mild abrasive that can help scrub off strains but still gentle enough not to cause
05
damage.”
Go soft
When cleaning your sneakers, you usually want a hard brush and use some force to take the stains off. Don’t do the same for your teeth. Pick a soft bristle brush and do it lightly. “Hard bristles will abrade and wear off the area of your teeth near the gums, which can lead to tooth sensitivity,” says Dr. San Juan.
“Twerk It Like Miley” videos Yeah, some guys have so much time it’s funny.
07
Trying out different facial hair while you shave If you have enough of it, you’ve likely tried a contravida ’stache that will make Romy Diaz proud. If you haven’t, you’re lying.
Just chew it
Chewing gum is a usual go-to when you’re about to chat up a girl you’re eyeing to make sure your breath smells fresh. Turns out you’re doing your smile a favor, too. According to the American Dental Association, chewing on gum after a meal increases the flow of saliva. This helps neutralize acids that are produced when the bacteria in your teeth break down the food you eat. Over time, acids can cause tooth decay. Stick, though, to sugar-free varieties.
Campaign mudslinging Yes, we should take choosing our next leaders seriously. But how can you when these politicians turn it into a circus?
Anne Curtis singing She’ll always be hot no matter what. But damn, that voice…
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U P G R A D E
HOW I DID IT Casa San Pablo’s ‘innkeeper’ is your strange bed (and breakfast) fellow
CV BOOTS ALCANTARA,
I wasn’t able to use that sports car anyway 51
Currently:
Educated at:
I think I’m a great salesman.
I’ve been an innkeeper for 18 years.
There are mornings when I just walk around in my pajamas
When we started, we didn’t imagine that it would become this big.
I got enough money to renovate this place when I sold my sports car.
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Casa San Pablo is pretty much an extension of who I am.
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This property was just given to me, and I put it to good use.
Honestly, the food is what people remember the most.
I lower people’s expectations by not providing towels
It’s actually hard to classify Casa San Pablo.
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You can’t please everyone, and I don’t expect everyone to love Casa San Pablo.
Now that I’m older, I find it easier to listen and understand.
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NOW YOU CAN TAKE THE BABES EVERYWHERE YOU GO!
Get on your smartphone or tablet.
http://bit.ly/fhm-ios
http://bit.ly/fhm-android *Powered by
. You can access
using the
account you create for the Good Housekeeping App.
U P G R A D E
T H OT A L ME
THE PRO ROUTE
ATTACK OF THE D R O N E S Take your a erial photograph y hobby to whole new heights words:
Chise Alcantara
F450 If you’re picky with cameras, or just love your GoPro too much, drones can also be equipped with gimbals to house your own camera in. The F450 has ultra-strength material that allows it to somewhat withstand falls that would usually wreck a weaker drone. M A X F L I G H T T I M E : 7 to 10 minutes C O M M U N I C A T I O N R A N G E : 1.2km when paired with a Pro RC Tx. B E S T F O R : Small-scale events or outdoor coverage that calls for a more heavy-duty drone. The F450 is as sturdy as it looks, but it requires a skilled pilot to fully and safely utilize its potential. L I F T O F F F O R : P42,000 to P50,000
photography:
Jonathan Baldonado Special thanks to IDJ Philippines, Romson Velez, RC Victory World, James Mark Borgaily and T.J. Elmor AR Drones Philippines
GET THEM HERE RC Victory World
146 L.P. Leviste St., Salcedo Village 1127 Makati City
If you’re just starting out, it would be wise not to fly over bodies of water so you won’t lose your drone when you crash.
S1000
M A X F L I G H T T I M E : 15 minutes C O M M U N I C A T I O N R A N G E : 1.2km
Mount your DSLR on this bad boy and capture photo angles you could only dream of getting before. Equipped with flying spider legs—er, eight rotors so powerful, you can still stabilize if two of them give out!
when paired with a Pro RC Tx.; up to 10km when modified B E S T F O R : Large event coverage that require DSLR-mounting, like FHM ’s BroCon. Top-angled shots of your hottest FHM babes? Shots like those would send any man soaring to heaven! Just make sure whoever’s flying it is skilled. You wouldn’t want a drone this size to fall on your head. L I F T O F F F O R : P200,000 to P350,000
Pitshop RC
153-D Araneta Avenue, Quezon City LowDog Hobby Shop
G-40 Cityland Megaplaza, ADB Avenue Corner Garnet Road, Ortigas Center, 1605 Pasig City
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INSPIRE 1 WITH DUAL REMOTE
Make sure your drone is facing away from you during liftoff so you don’t confuse your orientation!
THESE ARE NOT REMOTE�CONTROLLED TOYS They’re equipment—and this means buying responsibly
IDJ's latest realease, the INSPIRE1, has all its predecessors’ bells and whistles and allows unparalleled camera control with its 360-degree panning capability. The dual control system provides for amazingly accurate camera movements. Did we mention that it looks like a bot from Transformers ? Way cool. M A X F L I G H T T I M E : 18 minutes C O M M U N I C A TI O N R A N G E : 2km B E S T F O R : Landscapes, structures, and other portfolioworthy scenic shots. Its dual-control allows you to have a co-pilot so one of you can concentrate on flying the drone, while the other can angle the camera properly, producing more creative and interactive videos and photographs.
HIT HOBBY SHO PS, NOT CAMERA SHOPS
Hobby shops are the best places you can build your knowledge about drones. Some camera shops sell ready-made drones but actually have no idea how to operate or maintain them. Some knowledge could be the difference between a damaged drone and one that’s ready for the recycling plant. PACK BATTERIES
have a sparse 5-minute fly time; pro fliers, up to 25 minutes. We know you aren’t thinking of using just one battery when heading out. MAKE SURE YOU CAN BUY REPLACE MENT PARTS BEFORE SPLURGING
Crashing one’s drone is inevitable, even for professional flyers. Taking into account the availability of spare parts should be cheaper than buying anew.
Most amateur RC fliers with 250mAh to 380mAh batteries
L I F T O F F F O R : P138,000 to
P154,000
PEW�PEW�PEW!
Wear shades to protect your eyes from the blades and not get blinded by the sun when you want to follow your drone. BABY STEPS
PHANTOM 3 READY TO FLY Phantom 3’s super smart AI chip allows it to use the latest function in drone tech: the Follow-me. It enables the drone to follow its pilot wherever he goes, taking awesome shots while avoiding obstacles along the way. M A X F L I G H T T I M E : 15 to 23 minutes C O M M U N I C A TI O N R A N G E : 2km B E S T F O R : Amateur video recording and photography, for weddings, outings, and other gatherings. L I F T O F F F O R : P59,000 to P65,000
UDI/RC DEMON LE AXIS MICRO�COPTER
HUBSAN FPV
Light bodied and equipped with a protective cage that allows it to sustain minimal damage. Perfect for playing bump drone with your apartment walls. M A X F L I G H T T I M E : 5 minutes per 250mAh battery stick COMMUNICATION RANGE: About 45 to 70 meters B E S T F O R : Practice runs—for balancing smaller ones pre-flying more expensive drones. Or annoy guests at social gatherings.
The Hubsan is the world’s smallest FPV quadcopter. Its 480p camera—maneuverable from a 4.3-inch LCD color screen live-feeds what your drone is seeing. M A X F L I G H T T I M E : 5 minutes per 380mAh battery stick C O M M U N I C A T I O N R A N G E : 50 to 100 meters B E S T F O R : Stalking, erm, making sure your hot neighbor is home safe. It’s light frame is perfect for aerial gymnastics. It can even fly upside down! L I F T O F F F O R : P7,000 to P8,000
L I F T O F F F O R : P1,500 to P1,700
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OCTOBER 2015
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noticed my shorts slowly move down. But instead of panicking like a noob, I just went with it. I ended the performance with my shorts around my ankles. I say it was definitely worth it. NothingButSwoosh, via Facebook
Mistakes have been made
TRUE STORIES Find the silver lining! Motorboat I was riding on a crowded jeep one day as per usual. Pissed when the driver said, “Kasya pa dalawa!” But then a beautiful lady got in and sat next to me, and all my anger flew away. Just when I thought my jeep ride home was all better, a very big bouncer-type person boarded and sat on my right side, opposite the pretty girl. I decided instead to focus my attention on the girl. The pretty girl’s eyes crossed with mine, cheesy telenovela-style. I smiled at her and savored the moment for as long as I could—but reality just had to kick in. The jeepney driver ran into a huge pothole and it caused the jeep to swerve to the left, which caused my head to land on the big guy’s masive chest. I fixed myself up and stayed silent the rest of the trip. Rata2E, via Facebook
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My friend’s lolo just died. Between watching my favorite TV series and browsing on Facebook, I messaged her to ask how she was holding up. She thanked me and we talked back and forth a little. A character from the TV show I was watching cracked a punchline just as I was typing in my condolences, so my fingers automatically typed, “ha ha ha!” In short, I unwittingly sent my friend: “Condolence, ha ha ha!” She hasn’t spoken to me since. SorryNa, via Facebook
TRUE
A lesson in humiliation It was a week before Valentine’s and I was planning to do something special for a girl I’d been dating for a while. I bought a cute balloon animal for her, and wrote, “Will you be my Valentine?” on it. I was waiting for her outside our classroom, ready to bare my heart. She didn’t arrive. She texted that she was sick so she would just attend her one class that night because she had a report to give—which wasn’t after nine hours! I staked it out inside the campus anyway, and spent the day holding the balloon animal with people staring and giggling at the message I wrote on it. Just a few minutes before her class, I rushed to her classroom. I saw the classroom door was open so I excitedly barged in. I staggered facebook.com/FHM.ph
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STORY
back a little halfway in when I saw the class was full—the professor furrowed his eyebrows at me, before saying. “Sige, ibigay mo na muna yan!” in front of the whole laughing class. The worst part was, she wasn’t there. Turns out she decided to text in sick and stayed home instead. DonQuihottie, via Facebook
Champion belter I have a knack for forgetting my belt at home. I almost always forget to remove it from my dirty jeans so I’d always forget about them and just find them when washing my laundry. One night without my belt, I went out to a KTV bar with some friends. It was my turn to sing so I stood up for better birit. I was tearing up the bars, bringing the fire up in there, when I started to feel a little breezy. I fhmphilofficial
Ann Mateo Whenever I really need to pee, I get really flustered and I always enter the men’s room by accident. One time I went to an amusement park and I got really worked up by the rides. Again, I went inside the wrong CR and I saw a guy peeing. It was so disgusting, I saw his tutut and he even smiled at me with his manong face. Tuwang-tuwa pero maliit lang naman, ha ha!
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R O Y A M E T N O M O C I R E J : O T O H P S ’ N N A ; Y O R A D T R E B L I G : N O I T A R T S U L L I
