Identity

This book is dedicated to my greatest inspiration, my children: Athena Katherina Carmazzi And

Arturo Antonio Carmazzi II I would like to acknowledge the following people whose support and inspiration inspiration has directed this work and helped me discover the life I dreamed. My Mother and Father (god rest their souls) David Rogers Bob Mittelsdorf  Laurence Wong Dr Gurinder Shahi Patrick Lieu Richard and Veronica Tan Ravi Madasamy Clifford and Frances Ess Ching Hon Sion Ertah Tandjong Michelle Teo Ng Wee Keong Stuart Tan Park Sung Hwan Edgar Tham Mario Pottero Jacquie Pottero Winston Loh Wai Wai Ti Roy Fareina Nasser Khan Celine Tan Malcom Nerva Jacquie Tan Adelia Lardizabal Selva and Thila Cae Hiew

Special thanks to my friend Cho Hyun su, who through divorcing me, helped me to realize my own Identity Intelligence and set me on my way to becoming a better man.

Table of Contents (Chapter 1)

What is Identity intelligence? Intelligence – The difference between “Thinking” and “Reasoning” Identity – Who are you really? Identity Intelligence – using our Identity Intelligently Identity Evolution

(Chapter 2)

The instructions – Part 1 –

The ingredients

The connection between Identity and Truth Rules of Engagement Mental Ingredients Writing software for your brain The Colored Brain Processors Improve your flexibility and mental capacity Developing your colored brain – cultivating more of your Intelligence What do you do with a Hammer? The Technical Stuff  Emotional ingredients Emotional Drivers The Eight basic needs Validity of emotions Physical Ingredients The Warrior The Child The Lover The Emperor The Angel Body Identity

(Chapter 3)

The instructions – Part 2 –

The Recipe

Recognizing the contrast between what you do and who you really are Step #1 Your definition Step #2 Defining your Values.

(Chapter 4)

The instructions – Part 3 Identifying your Identity Intelligence Using Identity Intelligently to make powerful Decisions Decision making model

(Chapter 5)

Creating an environment that supports your true Identity Rules of engagement – operating in and replicating your environment Taking your environment with you Using the radar in your Brain to influence your environment and make things happen The 5 pillars of a transformational environmental cells Lessons from the monkey king Glossary of terms

 Identity Intelligence future titles

The force for making the right decisions  for personal and professional Success

By: Arthur F. Carmazzi

Chapter 1

WHAT IS IDENTITY INTELLIGENCE?

The Recipe for harnessing the force of human excellence starts with decisions we make daily. We often base these decisions on what happens around us, our Environment, an Environment that  is constantly changing. To reach greater levels of fulfillment, we must base our decisions on the “End Result” of who we intend to be as human beings. And while the discovery of this “Identity” is not an easy task, it is the only constant to our world and what we make of it. When we use it Intelligently, our world changes and  we attract more success, better relationships, greater health and  a more fulfilled life.

Introduction to this book Our identity is the essence of why we can be completely unstoppable in some instances and totally unmotivated in others. The decisions we make, the rules we create through those decisions, the way that our brain processes those decisions, the way we fulfill our needs, and the values that we live by reflect on our performance in our jobs, our relationships and our contribution to others. Our direction in life, who we are at our core and who we want to become seems to be guided by an internal influence. Yet we often unknowingly fight against it and cause unnecessary dissatisfaction in our lives. Few of us have discovered how to direct these driving forces and use them in our decision making process, few of us have gone inside to realize true potential of our “Identity Intelligence”. This book will demonstrate how to uncover this essence and effectively use it. By cultivating your Identity Intelligence, you find the tools you need to make the decisions that will create the results you seek. You may even find that you will find new fulfillment in areas that you were not even aware of. It will allow you to use this hidden potential to meet your own standards of  excellence and live up to your own expectations. It is an exercise in the awareness of your core driving force that will guide you to capitalize on your power to make directions. Decisions that will transform your personal and professional relationships, your finances, your ability to learn and create, and, get more gratification and success from everything you do. You will learn how to combine the skills and experiences that you have gained in life and magnify the results through a systematic process for becoming your ideal self, the person you deeply aspire to be, your true identity. Many of the tools in this book are the same I use to transform Multinational Organizations so that employees can find fulfillment at work. You will learn strategies that will not only help you to excel in relationships and career, but to be more aware of the real possibilities of how to lead a life of greatness in everything you touch.

What is Identity Intelligence? Identity Intelligence is the result of a cross between cultivating a greater awareness of how and why we react to our environment, and a consciousness of who we are at our core. When we know the causes of our reactivity, we are able to process the events around us more Intelligently by using the part of our brain that reasons instead of that which instinctively reacts. We then have the ability to make decisions based on the source of our greater self, and align ourselves with the ideal person we would like to become. When this happens, everything else in life falls into place.

Intelligence – The difference between “Thinking” and “Reasoning” Some decisions, as simple as they may be, determine the direction of our entire life. The things we do as well as the things we don’t do affect our environment and the way that people will act and react around us. And that environment will in turn affect our continued actions and reactions. The foundation for changing our direction and the results we get in our lives lies in the way we make our decisions. While each action or inaction has its foundations in “thinking”, not all originate from “reasoning”. “Thinking” is the process that interprets events and surroundings. “Reasoning” takes those interpretations and determines if they are true. Many times we stop at thinking. We combine emotions that we have associated with the events and “decide” that it is true without reasoning. This is because by the time we get to the thinking part, we have already started acting, or more fittingly “reacting” to a situation. Studies have shown that our brain feels 30,000 times faster than it acts, and acts 30,000 times faster than it thinks. To Reason we use the more evolved part of our brain. When our brain is more relaxed or composed (in alpha state) it operates at its peak. The problem is that we usually operate in a state that is much less efficient and more prone to “Reaction”. When we are using our Intelligence there is no internal conflict so our brain can operate in a more natural relaxed state. We can therefore make better decisions without the obstacles of “reactive” perceptions. There are 3 parts of our brain that we must understand. The first is the cognitive brain (sometimes referred to as the “thinking cap”). This part engages in higher-order cognitive processes, such as reasoning, analyzing and conceptualizing; it is the part that makes us mentally “Intelligent”. The second is the limbic part of the brain; this is the control center, the part that controls our voluntary bodily functions, such as our motor skills and our dexterity in doing things. It is the “action brain” and it is also where emotions come from. And finally, the primitive reptilian brain.

Cognitive Brain

 Reptilian Brain  Limbic Brain

Lizards and Identity Intelligence

The “reptilian” brain or the reactive center, deals with our primal need to survive. It is the part of us that repeats patterns of behavior that we usually do not like, patterns that often prevent us from taking action on opportunities or keep us procrastinating, patterns of fear and sometimes stupidity. It reacts to emotional triggers that are outside the boundaries of  our “Circle of Tolerance”. This primitive part of our brain breeds lizard-like reactions to our surroundings, and I might add that lizards are not very intelligent. Think of the last time you were in a conversation with someone you were trying to make a point to when they did not agree. You finally left, perhaps without resolving the point and felt a bit frustrated. 20 minutes later though, you thought to yourself “OH! #@&! I should have said…” This is because during the encounter you began to “React” to the situation thus using your reactive brain instead of your reasoning brain, and for all practical purposes, you became a lizard. It then took you 20 minutes to get back to being a human being where you could “Reason” again. When you are in the reactive center of the brain you have Lizard-like Intelligence. To elevate ourselves to the greater level of being a human being and sidestep our primal reptilian instincts, we need to respond, not react. We need to reason, not just think. To start, this requires increasing our “Circle of  Tolerance”. While this book will guide you to cultivate an awareness that can change your life, no tool will make a difference if you react to your environment without the ability to think intelligently and act on what you have learned. This action will require us to Let Go of many of the rules we have created about the way that “Things Should Be” these are known as “Rules of  Engagement” and set the boundaries of our circle. The greater the number of  rules, the smaller the circle.

R e al al m o f   Lizardom Things that generate reactions or negative feelings

Ci r c l e o f   Tolerance Things we can deal with without reactions or negative feelings

Created by Rules of Engagement

When you increase your Circle of Tolerance, you increase the potential to become more of the person you wish to become because you use more of  your brain’s capacity to deal with situations and surroundings. When you are able to consciously make decisions without reaction, you produce intelligent results. Instead of reacting to events and people around you, the ability to use your greater Intelligence allows you the sight to see beyond the apparent. It allows you to combine the mental, emotional, and physical processing of your brain into a powerful and directive influence for making positive progress your life that will allow you to affect your environment.

Identity – Who are you really? Identity is the person we really are outside of any of the effects from our environment. The reasons we have the desire to be something more is because of incongruence with our ideal self, our core identity. When we strive to change, we are striving to take off the layers of unhealthy habits that we have accumulated through our environment over the years. Incongruent actions and characteristics are created by experiences, culture and circumstances from our surroundings. Through the discovery of our Identity, we find the keys to congruency. Through congruency we are able to free ourselves of the habits and characteristics that are preventing us from being all that we can be. And from this freedom arises the ability to use more of our brain to notice more opportunities in our environment that will help us get more of what we want. To make decisions based on Identity, instead of on misguided perceptions of  how we need to “BE” in order to fill our short term needs, we have a greater ability to make intelligent decisions that will make the difference in our achievements and the person we ultimately become.

Identity Intelligence – using our Identity Intelligently Understanding our Identity Intelligence is like having the insight to see in the dark. If we can see clearly, we will make decisions to move about without crashing into walls and furniture. We can progress in a direction to get to where we are going with much greater ease and less pain. With a greater circle of tolerance, we are able to avoid the influences that keep us from achieving our greatest desires Identity Influences

Environment

Learned Rules

Core Core IIddeennttiitt y

Layers of Incongruence Temporary Need Satisfaction

Different Brain Communication

The emotional, physical, and mental Ingredients of our Identity

Your ability as well as your inability stems from your center of emotion, mental capacity, and physical postures and energy. In the recipe for the manifestation of great relationships, financial success, and a truly fulfilled life, each of these are the main “Identity” ingredients that will help you to rule your destiny. Identity Intelligence supports the management of these main ingredients and the processes that expands your awareness and your power to use your Identity Intelligently. How is this achieved? 

Awareness  Mental  Emotional Physical

Action  Establish your genetic brain processing pattern with Directive Communication Colored Brain (how you process information)  Manage your 8 human needs (the foundations that drive you to act  and feel anything)  Manage your emotional/physical postures (reaching different parts of  the brain through physical postures)  Identify your core values and their rules ru les (what you stand for a person and how you are fulfilled) The Identity Process (the final exercise that enlightens you to your  core identity)

Achievement Use your Identity Intelligently (making the best decisions to create the life you wish)  Apply this intelligence when dealing with other people and how to bring out the best in them. Cultivate your personal and professional environments to suppor t you continuous success.

Identity Evolution We are constantly evolving as people; while our genetic foundations and natural gifts may stay the same, our values change, our needs change, our perceptions and beliefs change based on our past experience, our perceptions of our future and our immediate environment. Yet, we seem to be reacting to what happens around us instead of evolving from our being. This being is the greater part of us that our evolution stems from, it is our “core identity”. As we develop greater awareness, we increase our consciousness, and this consciousness lets us see past the layers that hide this core self. We then become more empowered to assess our values and our needs in order to direct them for a more robust life. This offers great

flexibility in the direction of our life and the direction of who we want to be. The power to be everything we have ever wanted, and to make the decisions to achieve that, is in the discovery of our core identity. Once the layers have been striped away, the evolution of our identity becomes our choice. Guidance from within

Managers from the world’s best organizations often will guide their decisions by referring to the company’s mission statement. If you think of  your Identity as your own mission statement, Identity Intelligence is in essence the ability to make decisions that will effortlessly allow you to accomplish that mission. The problem lies in that most of us do not really know what that mission is. We often link it to doing or achieving, but seldom to “being”. Your Identity goes beyond the basics of goals or accomplishments and touches on the core of your spiritual being combined with the mental, emotional, and physical purposes that make up the way you interpret and react to the world around you. Through decisions in your past, you have created rules about how to be, and some of these rules contrast the foundational person you are as well as the person you want to become. When you contradict your core self, you develop layers of camouflage with the intention of meeting your short term needs. When you make decisions while reacting to events, it affects the congruence of achieving your ideal relationships, career, finances and even your body. As you go into your past and discover some of your decisions of  how to be in certain circumstances, you may find that you “Labeled” many contradictions, or layers, as “necessary” in order to prevent emotional pain. By the time you finish reading this book, you will find that many of the labels you have chosen are actually keeping you from achieving an extraordinarily productive and fulfilling life. You will see your core with objectivity and willingly take the sometimes painful steps to remove these layers and bare your pure and ideal self to live a truly fulfilled life.

Decisions that fill short term needs Decisions that affect Relationships Decisions about Financial Directions

Identity Physical Mental Emotional Decisions that affect Peace and Fulfillment

Decisions about Career Directions

Decisions your body

Chapter 2

The Instructions: Part 1 – The Ingredients

Rules and labels The connection between Identity and Truth

In the context of Identity Intelligence, truth is about being truthful to yourself. It’s the opposite of manipulating or justifying away the truth as a way of dealing with your unwanted emotions. We have a way of deceiving ourselves to keep from feeling bad. This is our way of controlling or subduing uncomfortable emotions. It is as if we are in an ocean of decisions, and each wave will take us in one direction or another. If we ride the wave that looks like it will take us away from a bad place, we may end up unable to stay afloat, and we begin to sink, the lifeboat is in what we call our conscience, the voice that tells us that we should or should not. The question is whether we listen to the voice or follow superficial appearances. Survival depends on our ability to see what it is that is really happening. If we chose to ignore our core identity for the sake of a temporary good feeling, we will drown in the layers of our own deceit, spiraling downwards into an abyss and leading a life that is not congruent with our true self and therefore breeding dissatisfaction. Catching the right wave is what this is all about. Even if you’ve been riding the wrong one or even drowning, it is never too late to catch the lifeboat and get back  on your wave to greatness. Rules of Engagement

Perception of any situation is based on the boundaries we have set based on our experiences. Some experiences are often interpreted by your brain as an attack to your well being and cause you to react. The reactions are the beginning of patterns that become ingrained in your reptilian (reactive) brain. When we react to a situation, we often make subconscious decisions about how we should be or act in order to prevent hurt feelings. Because these decisions are “reactive”, they usually account for what you are trying to avoid and seldom consider what you are actually trying to achieve. Therefore we create our “Rules of Engagement”. The rules that we believe will get the result we are looking for without reasoning what we really want. Our patterns of acting and decision making have become based on those rules. While some of these rules are very positive, some stem from compensations for what we may have perceived as failure or loss. We have become so used to applying these Rules of Engagement that we may have forgotten why we created them in the first place. We sometimes overlook  what it is that we represent as a person, and we mistake rules created for specific situations as rules for life. And, in the course of following rules that may not be in line with who we really are, we often make decisions that lead us to the road of being unfulfilled.

Ideal Self

Back to your Ideal Path

Event that creates a “Rule of Engagement” during teen years The Strait and Narrow Path

Greater  Awareness 

Event that creates a “Rule of Engagement” at an early age

Identity Intelligence Increasing your  Circle of Tolerance 

Event that creates a “Rule of Engagement” when you start work life

Sometimes these rules have been made to overcome a perceived weakness. A participant in one of my seminars came to the conclusion that she is and has always been a very feminine and playful woman. But, this is not how she has been acting. Because of her size (petite), years ago she came up with a “rule of engagement” that in order to be taken seriously, she had to be tough. This rule had most definitely worked for her in many cases during the early stage of her and her husbands business, but as it became a permanent layer over her identity, she found herself becoming less fulfilled in her relationship with her husband and, dissatisfied in the very business they built. It was not until she told herself this truth and started acting in line with her core Identity, that both these areas of her life started to dramatically improve. Others around her were a bit freaked out by the changes in the beginning, but soon welcomed the transformation with greater appreciation and respect. Some experiences create positive rules. For example when I was 11 years old, I was walking alone about 2 meters in front of my parents. We were walking toward a restaurant and there was and older man walking toward us. As the man came closer, he gestured to me with a smile and said “Good Morning!”, as he continued; I turned back and saw him do the same to my parents. I was amazed and impressed, he had made me feel great, and I adopted his rule/behavior as my own. From that day on when I met people, even strangers I would make the effort to greet them and smile. In the

context of identity, this rule represented something more than just saying hi or even the personal gratification I got from making people smile; it represented a core element of my identity that was about being generous. It was about contributing to the well being of others. It was pure. On the other hand, a rule with grave personal consequences was formed when I was 18 years old. I tended to be a somewhat fast driver in my early years and got a letter when I was away attending the university stating my driver’s license had been suspended because I had too many tickets. This was just before coming home for my summer break. Being the rebel that I was, I paid no attention to it and took my car out immediately on my return. After my driving fun I was on my way home, there I was at a stop light, minding my own business. Two girls drove up beside me, looked over, and revved their engine. Vroom! Vroom! Being the bundle of hormones and inexperience that I was, I followed suit. Vroom! Vroom! As the light turned green I stepped on the pedal and spun forward, the girls were still slowly leaving the stop light. For a moment I felt triumph, then I realized that I had been so focused on winning that I did not see the police car directly behind me. My moment of triumph was immediately deflated as soon as the red lights and siren came on. Being true to my core of “honesty and integrity”, I told the police officer that my driver’s license had been suspended while I was away at the University. He was not amused! In fact, he took me to jail, and had my car towed. Jail was no fun, they treated me like a criminal. I was scared, I was humiliated and I felt this was unfair. 5 hours later they let me go on bail posted by my mother, but I was required to appear in court 2 weeks later. The experience made me very careful the next day when I was driving my mother around town (she did not like to drive). As I was being careful and slow, another police car appeared behind me. I was scared, and became very scared when they followed me. Then, the lights came on and I pulled over. As it turned out the registration had just expired on the car and this was why they stopped me. I turned to my mother and told her to go along with anything I said, she agreed reluctantly. As the police officer came to my window, she said “May I see you drivers license and registration please.” I looked at her with a puzzled look and said “Ha-llo, how arr you today?”. She looked at me with a scowl and said “Fine, may I see you drivers license and registration please”. I looked at her again with a smile and said “English… No!” she smiled. Eventually in very broken English, I managed to express to her that my name was Francisco Rodriguez, and that I was an exchange student from El Salvador and that my mother (the lady sitting next to me) was my host parent in the U.S. I told her that I did not have a driver’s license but it was ok because I was a good driver. She gave me a ticket for driving with NO drivers license (a lesser offence) and sent me on my way with the requirement of appearing in court 2 weeks later. “This was easy” I remember thinking to myself.

The time came for me to appear in court for the first offence of driving on a suspended driver’s license as Arthur Carmazzi, I thought if I told the truth, the judge would be lenient. I was wrong! I was fined US$300, and my driver’s license was suspended for an additional year. This was a lot for a student. I had originally thought of paying for Francisco’s ticket too, but on the way out of the court room, I approached the payment counter and told them that Francisco had skipped the country and would not be coming to court or to pay his ticket. They said “OK” and went about their business. At this moment I realized that telling the truth was what got me in trouble (disapproval of others) and by making up stories, I overcame the fear of not being good enough in the eyes of others and triumphed over the immediate problem. This was the beginning of a rule that while having many short term benefits cost me far more than I ever expected in fulfillment and happiness. The rule of engagement I came up with was: “Made up stories will get me further than telling the truth.” I lived by this rule because it worked for me. It allowed me to escape my fear and also many situations that would have caused me difficulty. It became a part of my life whenever a problem would arise. I hadn’t noticed at the time, but the more I did this, the more problems that would arise that would need to be solved this way. 12 years later it eventually caught up with me with my relationships with friends, my finances, and my career. When I finally began to re-realize my identity and started to tell the truth to others and more importantly to myself, I became more responsible for my actions and got into fewer situations that would call for making up stories. I was freed of so much stress. My relationships with people I met were deeper and difficult situations became less frequent and easier to handle in the long term (even if the short term may not have been very comfortable). In my job where I previously had a tendency of exaggeration to impress clients, I found that client relationships and meeting client expectations improved a great deal. This led to more referrals. When I was true to me, everything started to work even better. The truth had set me free. Our Truth has its foundations in the way each of us experience our environment and take in and interpret information, will result in specific ways of perceiving and evaluating events and situations. This foundation is born in our genetic make-up. The way our brain functions is the base that everything else is filtered through and the following section will give you insights to the “color” of your brain.

Mental – the foundational ingredient Have you ever been talking to someone, explaining something so clearly to the extent you are absolutely sure that they Must understand; and, THEY JUST DON’T GET IT? You probably think  “This person is an idiot!” They on the other hand are thinking that you just didn’t know how to communicate? This is what is known in Directive Communication™ as the “Colored Glasses Syndrome”. Consider if you are wearing Green colored glasses, certain things would appear brighter and be very clear, while others may seem dull and some may not even be noticeable at all. When you see this you may assume that, because it is so clear, that it will be obvious to everyone else as well, or at least that it will be obvious when you explain it. The problem is that not everybody wears green glasses, some may wear Blue, Red or Purple, and each sees the same things from different perspectives. If the color of your glasses represents the way your brain works, each will have clarity in some areas and be oblivious to others, and they will not be the same. This product of how our brain communicates and processes can be translated to brain colors. This is not just a personality quark; in fact, studies have shown that the way the brain processes information or “communicates” is based on your genes. You are born with it. Directive Communication™ has categorized these genetic patterns of communication processes and needs into colors to make it easier. And consider that while you may get frustrated or even angry at someone for Not Getting It, you are Judging them by the color of their brain. You are being a brain “Racist”! When you begin to understand your brain color, it not only puts a new light on your own identity, but gives you a new perspective on how it affects others and how people with different brain colors are affecting you. This awareness alone will increase your circle of tolerance, reduce your stress, and create greater rapport with people whether you have known them for years, or you have met them for the first time. Some of the core research for the Colored Brain model came from a combination of “Human Dynamics” research done by Sandra Seagal and David Horne, as well as work done by Ned Herman on whole brain thinking. This is not about personality, but the unchangeable genetic processes that that dictate internal communication and processing. When you combine brain communication processes with your values and human needs (and more importantly how those needs are ranked and their rules), you have a better dimension of what is really driving your decisions. Imagine your brain as a computer processor, some may have a PC processor, others may have a Mac processor. Each of these processors can

run similar applications such as Microsoft Excel or Adobe Photoshop, and while these have the same function and similar appearance, each requires different software to do so and each runs them differently. For example, a PC will run Excel in a very direct and speedy manner, but will run Photoshop in a slower and roundabout way. The Mac on the other hand is  just the opposite. But, if you try to run Excel for Mac on your PC, it won’t work and vise versa. Our brains act in a similar way. If you are a green brain (random, interactive processing) trying to do a red brain (linear objective processing) function, you will have a great deal of difficulty doing it in the same way that a red brain person does. It then becomes essential for getting your red brain outcome to do it in a green brain way. Traditionally, the problem has been those red brain outcomes (for example) have been taught by red brained people. So green, blue and purple brained people usually have to work harder to achieve the same results, and then the results are often not as good as those red brained people that hardly worked at it at all. But, if a green brained person has awareness of a being green brained, this allows him the ability to use his natural green talent.

Red  Brained  Person 

Red Brained Outcome

 Red brain Structure

 Red Brained   Instruction

 Needs  Interpretation

Blue  Brained  Person 

 Needs  Interpretation Purple   Needs  Interpretation

Green  Brained  Person 

Brained  Person 

Writing software for your brain

Brain Flexibility helps you to communicate and build better rapport with others. The main genetic foundation of our brains communication does not change, but as we develop through our environment, we acquire flexibility in how we are able to use our genetic processor. Just like writing software for a PC or a Mac processor to accomplish a specific task, you can write software for your genetic brain processor. Throughout your life you may have naturally found ways to do this through trial and error. This has developed your brain flexibility. Yet you may still be struggling with being more creative or being more analytical or more systematic or more sensitive to others… etc. Here is where awareness sets precedent to effortlessly accelerate the process. For example if you are processing as a green brain, it is unnatural to analyze something without taking action toward it, yet many situations require a red brained linear and

more analytical process. Rather than sitting down and impatiently attempt analysis (like a red brain says you should), you would take a hands on active approach to analysis like talking to others that may have similar experience and doing small scale tests of a larger project, by trying different outcomes to possible actions. This approach would be much easier to interpret by a green brain and your analysis would be more accurate than trying to do it in a red brain way. Sometimes our environment (whether it be culture, parents, social class, etc.) encourages a certain way to “BE”. If this way of being is a color other than your original biological color, you would be having an internal conflict that may hinder your ability to truly maximize your potential. For example if  you are dominantly green brained, but you grew up in an environment that emphasizes structure and detail (dominant purple brain characteristics), you may do things in a purple brain way and not fully develop your primary nature to be more creative in your approach. You therefore may rob yourself of an even greater potential of Being a green brain with the additional flexibility of your purple brain. If you know your brain color and understand your basic abilities, you can visit the other colors and “Exercise” your brain to become better rounded in your own way of processing, and an even better ability to understand and work with other people. Imagine working out in a gym, if you concentrate on your arms and don’t exercise your legs, you will have big arms and little tiny, thin legs (this looks funny). The same with your brain, by exercising those parts of your brain you do not often use, you become more balanced, more flexible in your understanding and in working with other views and approaches. To get more information on the colored brain processing characteristics, email to: [email protected] The Colored Brain Processors

Each area interprets processes and communicates information like this: The Green Brain:

People with a green brain are forward moving. They process their surroundings as a summary of the overall situation and can see the “Big Picture” of things they get involved in. Thinking is in non-linier random chunks so they can usually only fully concentrate on one situation at a time. The initiation sequence collects information, acts on the information, processes information and actions, collects more information, acts on it again, processes and shapes it some more, gets more information and acts on it again… This random processing style aides in the flow of ideas since one concept does not have to be connected to the other. Interaction with others in an exchange of ideas is natural. When there is a project, they will easily

work with others to come up with creative approaches to it, and will have a big picture outcome in mind when they start. If there is a problem, they will set out to resolve it immediately. Green brain people usually ask a lot of  questions to try to understand things from an objective point of view. In relationships or projects, green brained individuals are usually very focused, driven, and intense. They work well with other people as well as by themselves.

Communicating with green brained people can be challenging to some because they don’t pay much attention to detail and while they are good communicators, they are often too general in their explanations. Also, because they tend to try to solve problems quickly and move on, so others may perceive them as impatient. Since ideas are always in movement, the green brain process of shaping and reshaping ideas as new information is received may give others the perception of them being erratic or even fickle. Because of this randomness in thinking, they tend to only focus on one thing at a time, leaving individuals who are not the focus of attention at the time the impression that they are insensitive to their needs, when in reality they are simply unaware. And since they are usually expressing their ideas with single-mindedness or passion, some may feel that green brains are “pushing” their views as the “only” way, when in fact because of their inclination for objectivity, they are usually just putting them out to stir up feedback. Green brained people often flourish in roles that require innovation. They are best for making speedy progress and creating short term plans. Green brained individuals are also best for initiating change, and often develop talents to get others excited from their visionary inspirations.

The Blue Brain:

Because of their emotional base, blue brain people process and communicate in feelings. The initiation sequence processes and shapes surroundings, and starts to collect information at the same time, processes it a little more and takes a small action, more processing and getting a little more information, then another small action, then a little more information with simultaneous processing and shaping, finally they start processing and acting at the same time until it just become action. This sequence provides an extra sensitive ability to read and interact with other people. They are versatile and flexible and are capable of playing many roles. This characteristic allows them to be organized as long as they don’t have too many tasks or stimulus at the same time. They are usually active in play and fun. Their sensitivity to the feelings of others also gives them the ability to be empathic but sometime creates difficulty in differentiating their own feeling from those of others. Relationships and people are usually central in their life and when they learn, they must have a sense of personal connection with the instructor. They usually will take the blame (look at where they may have gone wrong) when something they are involved in goes amiss. Blue brained people communicate at a deeper level with others because of their verbal expressiveness and intuition. They may try to do everything themselves to be more considerate to others.

They are sometimes misunderstood because they will often take things personally. This comes from the difficulty in separating their own feelings from others and their sensitivity to the feelings of others. They are also more prone to talk about things that bother them, but NOT to get solutions as much as to just get someone to listen to them. Others may also have a difficult time relating to their nature of openly sharing feelings. And misinterpretations can also occur because of the blue brains nature of being nice, this can be seen by some as insincere or sometimes as weakness.

Blue brain people will be super in roles that interact with people. They are great at resolving personal people issues and are masters of understanding and interpreting feelings of others. For personal communication, they are intuitive and can often address organizational insensitivities with a positive result. They are natural organizers, especially when it comes to organizing other people. The Purple Brain:

Information is king to the purple brains, the style of processing requires them to absorb lots of information so they can take appropriate action. The reason is because in their brains genetic make-up, everything (time, tasks, people…) is connected. For them, the more information they have, the more stable a situation becomes and stability in purpose gives them a safe sense of  direction. The initiation sequence for gathers information, gathers more information, gathers still more information, processes and shapes it, then acts on it. They need details, and concrete facts. This clarity assists them in strategic planning, and the creation of systems. They are key in operational functions and very practical in their applications. They will often have a sense of individual identity rather than group identity, yet family is of great importance. They have accumulated a lot of information and data in their brain and catalogue it for later use. They are usually more incline to follow rules because of their orderly nature. To learn, they need considerable context in a hands-on environment, and sufficient time to assimilate the information.

Purple brains are commonly misunderstood because they usually take much longer to act or make decisions. Since they require so much information, processing time is considerably longer (they may appear to be doing nothing when in reality they are gathering necessary information to be thorough). Their meticulous attention to detail may be perceived as Too Much in some

instances. Some may consider purple brains as insensitive because they will often not speak unless they feel it is necessary, and seldom express their feelings. They will often show their caring by creating smooth operational systems in life and work. Purple brained people excel in areas that require the development of systems or operations. The ability to plan and observe details are applied in practical solutions to problems and improvement of current situations. The connected way of processing can be applied to their strategic and detailed planning ability to create overall policies and change. The Red Brain:

Clarity is power to the red brains because they usually maintain a clear sense of purpose and direction. The initiation sequence collects information, cross references it, processes and shapes the information, cross references and processes it some more, then acts on it. They tend to be very clear and precise in their communication, dealing with only one subject at a time. They process facts in a logical way which carries the ability to detach themselves from situations and be extremely objective. They also process information from a long term perspective and often think in the future. Red brained people do not usually express much emotion and tend to be calm under stress. They usually think through issues before speaking about them so they can give completed thoughts and are also good at catching discrepancies and out of place ideas in projects or planning. More than any other brain color, red brained people live their lives around a well defined value system, and they will seek to create a clarifying structure to keep those values from being violated. They are often reserved and may not say anything if they think a persons or groups objective is being realized. Red brained people usually like and need some time alone.

Because of their strong sense of structure, communicating with Red brained people can sometimes be challenging because others may perceive them as inflexible. They may also appear to be insensitive because of their emotional non-expressiveness and their ability to remain detached. If they see no value in change, they will resist it strongly but not before taking time to analyze it thoroughly and in accordance with their values. If there is any real risk in the change, there will likely be resistance. Learning is also reflected by this selective trait in relation to their own beliefs and principals, which determines if they will accept new concepts or ideas. The roles best suited for a red brained person are long term strategic planning, establishing values, vision and guiding principals, and creating structure and setting standards. They are also good at delegating management of people while maintaining overall direction. Don’t be a Brain Racist!

Understanding the way you and others process information and how your brain communicates will allow you to better relate to others and respect their natural talents. It will also help you to be more flexible and better utilize your mental resources, as well as those of your peers, your superiors and your subordinates. Improve your flexibility and mental capacity

Sometimes we overcompensate in trying to overcome our weaknesses by ignoring our natural abilities and writing loads of new software (trying to do things as a brain of a different color). This can be counter productive! While we will definitely “Improve”, we tend to have to work very hard at it.

There is an easier way! Imagine if your brain is the PC processor I mentioned earlier, and it’s a Pentium III. Any new “software” will only run so fast on a limited processor. Yet, if you were able to turbo charge it to a Pentium V at 100 gigahertz, all your software would run faster. So, if you are running a Blue Brain, by developing your blue brain, you are getting greater capacity to develop other brain colored outcomes. Here is how it works. First, on a daily basis, practice “ brain aerobics” specifically for your own colored brain (as shown below). Then, for flexibility, practice some of the others as often as you have time.

Developing your colored brain – cultivating more of your Intelligence

Spend 15 minutes every day with your eyes closed and you will become more intelligent and have greater brain capacity to get other outcomes that may seen unnatural to you. I personally find the morning to be a good time to do this. For developing brain flexibility, do Green brain – daydream, close your eyes and make up things and characters that do not exist. This can be cartoons or new products or house and car designs. Anything that comes from nothing. Blue – remember events where you interacted with people and try to feel the emotions that went with it. Try to see the clothes and circumstances that happened all around. See the expressions on peoples faces and the movements that where happening. Purple – pick a subject and pull our all the information you have on that subject. For example “spiders”, you would remember all the spiders you have ever seen, information you know about spider mating, different web patterns, super heroes that are associated with spiders… etc. Red – create problems like “If a train is traveling at 50km/hr going south, and an airplane is traveling at 350km/hr going north. If they are 500km apart, how long before they intersect. Then cross reference the problem with real life and how it could apply.

These are only a few examples but it should give you the idea of how to approach different colored outcomes. I could go into a lot more detail here but there is enough information on this to write a whole new book. I will be publishing more on this on the web at www.identityintelligence.com What do you do with a Hammer?

If the day before you were born, god gave you a hammer and said “This will be your profession” you may grow up to be a carpenter. If however, your environment (parents, society, pear groups…) instilled in you the need to become a policeman, you may look for ways to use the hammer as a policeman and craft other tools to be more effective as a policeman. Yet, as good as a policeman as you may become, you will never be completely fulfilled in the job, and you will not likely become a GREAT policeman. BUT, if you one day pull out the hammer and begin building a house, it feels so natural and freeing. You realize you had become a policeman because of other people’s reasons and you had suppressed your natural talent as a carpenter in order to fit in to your environment, to fill some of  your needs for connection and belonging. Many of us have suppressed our natural aptitudes in exchange for the immediate gratification of fitting in or making a significant person in our lives happy. And, while the merits of developing other parts of your brain

are distinguished through expanding your flexibility, if the foundation of  your genetic gifts is not fed, you will become like a policeman that was meant to be a carpenter and you will never reach your true potential. A friend of mine was a clear Blue Brain, and had been comfortable with her blue brain talents for most of her life. Until, she went to a “transformational” seminar that convinced her that living on her emotional plain was hindering her ability to really connect with others on a higher level. This had a profound effect on her because her value of connecting with others was stronger than her natural way of being expressive in her emotions. She felt wrong in her way of thinking and in her tendency to connect with emotions, so she started to put her emotions aside in an attempt to gain greater connection with humanity. The problem was that while this might be easy for a red brained person who can achieve a sense of love and connection through detachment, it is completely unnatural for a blue brained person (the seminar was probably designed by a red brain). She found herself with an internal conflict and often wondering about why the decisions she made did not get the results she was expecting. The influence from the program was so strong, that it took me almost 2 months of working with her to help her become comfortable with being a blue brain again. Shortly after this, she fully realized the power and gratitude of being true to her Identity. Another friend as the eldest daughter was shaped and guided to become a lawyer. Her family influenced her to study towards this discipline since a young age. While her genetic foundation was green brained, she was steered into a very red brained education, upbringing, and career. While she was quite successful in her firm and her family’s goals were satisfied, there was something missing. She was not happy, she even applied to Club Med as a counter girl to try and escape the lack of fulfillment in her life. It wasn’t until she discovered her green brain orientation that she was able to place her red brain flexibility in the right perspective. She then quit her firm and used her current skill sets as a “green brained” attorney to start her own specialized firm dealing with creative international corporate structures for reducing client liability. Now most other attorneys without the natural ability to invent these structures come to her for expert help. She is presently successful AND happy.

Technical Stuff 

Directive Communication™ Colored Brain technology was developed by Arthur F. Carmazzi, with foundations in three separate bodies of work: 1.

Cloninger, C. R. (1994). The Temperament and Character Inventory (TCI): A guide to its development and use. Centre for Psychobiology of Personality, Washington University, St Louis, MO.

2.

Herrmann, N. (1996). The whole brain business book . New York: McGraw-Hill. www.hbdi.com

3.

Seagal, S. & Horne, D. (1997).  Human dynamics: A new framework for  understanding people and realizing the potential in our organizations. Cambridge, MA: Pegasus Communications. www.humandynamics.com

These works were reviewed and further fur ther research was conducted to conceive a practical model of how people are distinguished from others by their own specific way of processing the world around them, problem-solving, communicating, and relating to others. This model was supported by field-tests across 60 different corporate and 6 cultural environments, with over 8,000 people. The colored brain model is not about behavior or personality, but about the inherent way the brain processes and communicates. The Colored Brain Communication Inventory (CBCI) is a tool that identifies an individual’s genetic brain processing, inclusive of additional learned flexibility and areas where one may have difficulty in communicating with others. By identifying the  fundamental patterns in the way our brain genetically functions, we overcome misunderstanding, conflict, and wastage of individual and group po tential. Awareness of  the color of our brain gives us the means to maximize our capacity act intelligently, to “Turbo Charge” our natural gifts and use them to maximize our ability to develop “software” for our brain for greater competence across many disciplines. We are able to understand others at a deeper level and unleash greater potential for relationships at work  and at home, for easier learning and teaching, and for greater harmony and cooperation with our environment and our teams. For information on a Colored Brain program in your  area, contact: [email protected]  Each color makes up about 60% of the way we function in our world. Different colored  brains differ in the way they th ey process information, learn, communicate, problem-solve, act  and react in teams, and become stressed. Each color has its own requirements for learning, developing and functioning. Each has unique gifts and specific ways of perception, thus creating a unique way to develop within its environment. The environment interacts with the colored brain foundation to create a ranking of external motivators, and the directions these motivators move us in. The inclination towards risk is a  factor that is defined through environmental interactions with the colored brain. The more a person develops a propensity for risk, the greater the potential to develop his natural colored brain. The environment may promote or inhibit the development of the abilities of our natural colored brain. Depending on environmentally-established motivators, new “brain software” may be created to emulate characteristics of other brain colors. Problems in competency occur when people try to ignore their natural processing and “use” a different  brain color, instead of using us ing their natural processor, to achieve the same out come.

Benefit to groups

Learning Process

 Behavioral  Development 

 Natural Foundation Problem Solving

Colored Brain

Potential development 

Interpret emotions Communication Process

Motivators

Direction

 Environment 

 Influence

Human Drivers Emotional associations

Emotional needs

Risk  propensity

The Next Step When you recognize the How and Why of the way you interpret the world around you, you will begin to see your truth and attain the Power to change some rules of engagement that do not serve you. When you take off your colored glasses to enlarge your circle of tolerance and understand others at a deeper level, you find more truth. The next step in the discovery of your truth goes beyond the color of your glasses. The strongest rules and often the most damaging stem from patterns created through emotional decisions to instantly fill our short term needs instead of our longer term life. Many of the associations that lead to these decisions were cultivated through your environment. Yet many of these same associations that have been directing your life through repetitive patterns and prevent you from taking charge of your own destiny are NOT based on Truth, but on an emotional and clouded perception of what you needed to believe to make yourself feel better at the time. Through the awareness of how our emotions have played a role in the destiny we have created for ourselves, we can make the greatest strides to recovering the essence of our Identity and constantly make better and Intelligent decisions for a greater, more fulfilling future.

Emotional Ingredients Negative emotions are spawned by broken rules. These emotions cause reactions about how to “be” to reduce negative feelings you get from rule violations. These rules can relate to how you are, others are, or the situation is. In turn you determine what decisions you will make. Sometimes the emotions are feelings of lacking and the decisions are to temporarily satisfy the absent needs, sometimes they are frustration and the decisions are for escape. Regardless of the reason, the more you make the same type of  decision, the stronger the patterns become engrained in your reptilian brain and the more natural the reactions to similar situations. Eventually you may mistake this as part of your identity and wonder why there is a lack of  achievement or fulfillment in this area. To make matters worse, there is another part of our brain that helps you to feel good about the decisions you make and justify them, even if they are not congruent. This part, called the Reticular Activating System, acts like the radar of your brain. This is the part that lets you wakeup at the right time without an alarm. It is always noticing the world around you, even when you’re sleeping. It is aware of your environment and cross references it with your decisions and actions. And, it helps to make you right, sometimes at any expense including making others wrong!

This human ability to justify is what makes incongruent patterns a seemingly internal part of your Identity. It is what makes you blind to what you don’t want to believe if it may cause emotional pain or counter a positive emotion. For example, if you value the emotion of love, you will  justify anything to get it (or at least your perception of it) on a regular basis, even if you do things that you know you shouldn’t do. It only becomes apparent that you have been blind after the intensity of the emotion deceases. By this time you may realize that the actions and beliefs created by this rule of engagement  are incongruent with your identity. So you are faced with a dilemma: Do you admit that you are not being true to yourself  (usually a painful exercise since you may have invested so much energy and time into the actions around these rules, that admission of being wrong would be almost inconceivable). Or, do you soften the pain and justify your rules? Do you call it a habit and add a layer of “well it’s just the way things are” and ignore your true self? Once established these patterns of reaction influence thinking and breed “false reasoning”. It is often this bias that directs decisions away from your objective and sets you once again on a path away from your ideal self. To change, you must cultivate an understanding of how your emotions drive you, and, later in this book, the emotional needs you choose to take you toward greater results. A friend of mine, whose primary core values were love and truth, found herself lying to herself and others to protect an emotion that she felt was

against her values. She was married and met a man that she was attracted to. Her value for loyalty was challenged by this emotion and she found herself  divorcing her husband. She justified this action through the guidance of the man she was attracted to and numerous significant but solvable problems that had occurred throughout the marriage. Additionally, these same problems were fed back to her through her friends who reinforced her decision based on the justifications she had been giving them in her conversations. She justified that her happiness in the marriage was an illusion and that she must leave to be happier. Later she finally told herself  and others the truth. While it was a painful realization that her actions were based on incongruence with her value for loyalty, so much effort had been spent in this direction that she was not able to turn back, but reconciled for her future by acting on her values for truth and love. This liberated her and helped her to regain a direction that was in line with who she was. She accepted responsibility for her real reasons for divorcing her husband, and was able to pursue this new relationship without guilt or sense of self deceit. This was possible by using the truth to resolve any bad feelings with her husband by admitting she still loved him (being congruent with her value), but that she had followed her heart in a different direction. While the consequences were great, she became true to her values and was able to move forward. Her value for loyalty was restored and was re-invented in her relationship with her children. . In my own personal experience, I created a number of problems in my life because of my emotional attachment to a business that was not congruent with whom I was. The retail business was an ambition I had formed not because it was my dream, but because I had to prove that it could be done, and “I” could do it. In the end, my desire to fill my need to be right, overcame the common sense of business operation. I ended up disappointing myself and others involved. While I was most definitely convicted to make it work, and I worked extremely hard (to the point of neglecting my family), it just never seemed to go right. Whenever there was a triumph, there would be something that would eventually go wrong, it was a constant battle. This business has been closed for over three years now and I just recently discovered the reason it didn’t work. It was not that the business itself was a bad idea, or because of any of the economic reasons I had originally  justified, it was incongruence. The decisions I made for the business and its operation were in line with “being right” and being the boss, not with making it a success. Some may argue that success would be the byproduct, but after much reflection, if I would have had the Identity Intelligence strategy at that time, I would have hired someone else whose identity was more congruent to run it. I would have then concentrated on those facets of  what was really fulfilling to my identity. For example, my primary values were growth and progress, and love, thus, I was able to make the business grow and please customers on a regular basis. Because of my concentration on these aspects of the business, I neglected the financial and operational components. This caused problems in delivery which caused the pleased customers to not be so pleased. I would then overcompensate to try and please them again which cost more money, until… no more money. By

acknowledging my Identity I would have been able to foresee potential strengths and weaknesses, and made better decisions. With this strategy, not only would I have had more fulfillment and less stress, but I would have been able to further develop my ability by learning from someone else. Instead, I let my emotional need for significance, (my ego) take over and made decisions that were not true to my core, my values, my Identity. I justified away the truth about the situation and the consequences were financially and emotionally destructive. While this was a great lesson to me, and one that I would not change, I write this book now to help you learn from my lessons in a much less painful way. So keep reading! In the discovery of your identity, you will discover your core values, and more importantly, you will discover the rules you have created for these values. The exercise in chapter 4 will take you through this process and guide you not only in the discovery, but in finding new rules that are more consistent with the kind of person you are destined to become. The last emotion I will address here is the emotion of guilt. Guilt is important because it shows us that we are not being true to our selves and can push us in the right direction. However, if we do not act on guilt, if we try to justify our guilt away, we can become complacent in our incongruent actions and create a new layer over our identity. Guilt can be a great ally if it is genuine and not manufactured by low self esteem or induced by the low self esteem of others. The exercise in chapter 4 which highlights your identity, will determine if guilt is genuine (i.e. comes from incongruence). If  so, then act on it quickly. Confront the situation that is causing you to feel this guilt. Go though the decision making process in Chapter 4 and decide on an action that is in line with who you are. One you are congruent with your Identity, the guilt will go away. If it seems to be made up, then it will dissolve in the truth. Emotional Drivers

Every decision you make and every action you take can be linked to at least one of eight human needs. These needs drive your motivation and greatly affect the emotions you have toward anything. Awareness of how these needs affect you is a compass to what affects your Identity and more importantly, why it is affected. These needs and the importance you rank  them in will determine parts of your “personality”, they have been influenced by the way your brain processes information, the culture you grew up in, the friends you’ve had, your family and your experience. Studies have shown that the genetic makeup of your brain will also have an effect on which needs you would rank over others. While any of these needs will give us a certain amount of drive, the more needs that a particular action or inaction fulfills, the more pleasure we get from it and the more it becomes addictive. So if, lets say, your job fulfills

the needs of security, diversity, achievement, excellence, recognition and growth, you would really love your job. On the other hand if it only met your need for security, you would likely get up every morning and try to find a reason why you shouldn’t go to work. If every time you started to get angry, those around you would do whatever you asked and then would try to cheer you up, you would get belonging, significance, security/control, diversity (because they would change their actions), and achievement (progress on your goal). You would immediately get 5 out of 8 needs filled by getting angry and it could get addictive. Even if you know the long term and hidden effects would be negative, and that it may not be an action that suits your core identity or your long term goals, the immediate result would give you great fulfillment. The problem is that you do not always fill these needs in a positive way. For example, in order to fill the need for belonging; people sometimes have a problem saying “No” when they know they don’t really have time for the request. Or some may say something not so nice about someone else in order to make themselves feel more significant. While you will never really be free of this, the awareness of it will make a huge difference in the way you make important decisions. For example if you know that recognition/significance is one of your top 3 ranked needs, the next time you begin the process of making a decision, you will ask questions like “What need am I trying to fulfill” and if you suspected significance “Is this really in line with who I am, or am I just trying to get a quick fix of  Significance?”. The answer will give you a better gauge of which is the better wave for you to ride.

The Eight basic Emotional Drivers o

Belonging/Love Connection from being with others, or sense with self 

o

Security/Control Knowing what will happen, having security in our lives

o

Diversity/Change Wanting a surprise, having variety and adventure

o

Recognition/Significance  Having others pay attention to us, feeling important 

o

Achievement The need to succeed in our plans, completion

o

Challenge/growth The opportunity to achieve and to grow

o

Excellence Self-satisfaction and pride in the things we do

o

Responsibility/Contribution  Responsibility toward humanity, The need to give to others

When we are very young, we have a greater sense of our higher needs. Even though our instincts for survival make children appear selfish, they are much more giving of themselves. It is not until we get older that we tend to focus

more on the first four. This happens because when something goes wrong according to our idea of the perfect world, we seek immediate gratification, we create our rules of engagement and link the avoidance of pain with the ease of filling the more basic needs. It is not until later in life that many of  us begin to re-discover these higher needs of greater fulfillment, and their ranking and order begins to change as our level of consciousness expands. In youth our higher needs are what carry us from infancy to childhood. For us to make that initial leap we have experienced these higher needs in their purest sense. In early youth, the needs of Love, Growth, Excellence, and Contribution are dominant without the awareness of their existence. The higher needs eventually fade away in the face of “Problems” we encounter as we grow and our natural instincts to survive kick in to provide our rules of engagement. When we are pure as children while our needs for self are strong, our needs for giving of ourselves to others often goes unnoticed. For example, the highest need of contribution is manifested in the giving up of our natural tendency of Peeing and Poopooing in our diaper. As children we purposely go against our physical nature and give of ourselves by exerting great effort (through the perception of an infant) in going to the toilet instead of our diaper. The higher need of growth is also manifested to a greater degree when we are children. In fact, it is so strong that we easily overcome the world’s perception of failure without even noticing it. As we try to walk and to talk and to operate in realm of our parents and our environment, our efforts to grow as a being are consistent and resistant to the obstacles that are constantly around us. Eventually we figure out that we don’t get everything we want (reality strikes), and our self preservation instincts (linked to our reptilian brain) kick in. We begin to be affected by our parent’s perceptions and actions, and the environment we grow up in. We start to see the results of our disappointments as failures and we begin to compensate by creating our rules of engagement and covering ourselves with layers of protection. It is only when we are wise enough to view our experiences and our environment simply for what they are, that we stop attaching extra meaning to them. Then we can shed these layers and recover our true essence and real power.

*Illustration*

Validity of emotions

All emotions are valid. To suppress or ignore an emotion would be devastating to your identity. Every emotion tells us something, and every negative emotion is a signal to our direction and our congruence. While some negative emotions are mild, others can very intense and potentially destructive. Do not discard them, use them. Be aware of them. Feel them and then watch them from a distance, get the message, but don’t wallow in them.

At times, we may get a feeling about something; we then analyze it and decide against the original instinct. In most cases when there is conflict between the emotional and the mental – the emotion is correct. Now PLEASE, don’t confuse Emotions with urges. The urge to have sex at a Starbucks, or to eat 17 pizzas are physical urges. DON”T use this as an excuse. And this does not mean that if you “Just Love that Gucci Bag”, you should sell your children to get it. Please, take this in the context of “gut instinct”.

Physical – the second ingredient  Emotions are where the mind and body meet. The connection between our mind and our body has long been established, and this connection is the foundation for our emotional states. A study at Florida State University took  a group of Manic-Depressants (people that usually need medication to maintain emotional stability), and without the use of drugs, had them smile constantly. The results were astounding. 82% of the patients were able to maintain emotional stability without the use of drugs, and all just from the physical action of smiling. This works because our brain makes its own drugs called endorphins when a person physically smiles. The brain figures if you are smiling you should be happy, so it gives you the happy drugs, and the result is you get happy. The mind plays the role of deciding to smile; it also gives meaning to situations as to why you should smile. The reason you feel good with a kiss, is because you have made a connection in your mind that “a kiss” should feel good, and it does. Maybe you have also linked sex to a kiss, and this will have other physical reactions in your body, but we don’t need to mention more about that. Native to all our Identities are the Physical expressions I call “postures”. These are the essence of where mind and spirit meet and surface in your body and your energy. While postures are affected by your emotions, becoming aware of them and managing them can direct emotions and mental focus. In fact, everything you feel and everything you think can be influenced by these physical postures. Their power is in the mind/body connection that influences emotion and establishes mood, physical energy, and attitude. Postures are like doors to your identity. Sometimes you open the wrong door and step into the wrong role for dealing with a situation, again causing incongruence in your focus and our decisions. You are constantly opening and closing these doors, moving from one posture to the next, each influencing your decisions and your actions, each directing your energy in one direction or another. By understanding these postures, you gain access to roles that each play in your identity, some that you may not have accessed for along time, yet each necessary for a balanced life and better decisions.

Observe your posture, now. How are you standing, are your shoulders drooped? Is your head held high? Where are your eyes directed - up, down, direct or shifty, what do they say to someone who looks directly into them? How about your arms? What is your breathing like? Subtle movements in your physical body will affect how much you get out of this book, they will affect where or not you implement any of these strategies and how effectively you implement them. They affect your access to the mental, emotional and energy recourses that you have. The Warrior The first of the 4 postures is the one that accesses the most energy, has the most directed focus and clear in his outcome. This posture is the Warrior, and it takes whatever action is necessary to accomplish a goal. The strength to overcome adversity is natural to the warrior, and so is the need to fight for the values that are central to your identity. The warrior is intense in action and focus, nothing outside of the center of concentration is significant. It is quick to react to the situation at hand and has a heightened instinct to survive. This is great when you are working on an important project with a prompt deadline, or when you are pursuing your goals. But it may not be appropriate when dealing with people, or when you need to make important, long term decisions.

The Child The second posture is humble and playful; it is without worry and sees the beauty in everything. This posture is the Child, and life is a magical journey. Curiosity and wonder exist in all things. Emotional hurt is only temporary and forgiveness is easy because life is constantly moving forward. The Child can make even the most boring activity exciting and fun; a simple box can inspire creativity and become an emperor’s castle. The Child cannot fail because every outcome is a learning experience and every learning experience is another success. Bringing out the child in a brainstorming session or when trying to form new ideas will be a great advantage. Letting the child out in the office now and then to lighten up a day, can make a big difference in rapport with colleagues and create a less formal and more efficient atmosphere at work. It may not be appropriate when you need to “get the job done” or when someone needs to be listened to and supported emotionally.

The Lover The third posture has the capacity to love; love himself, love another, and love mankind in general. This posture is the Lover and is supportive, nurturing, passionate, patient, and can give unconditionally. The lover draws on the emotional center to extend a part of himself to others. The Lover is not hurt if the emotions or kindness are not reciprocated because he gives unconditionally and so expects nothing in return. This posture is very useful when coaching or guiding others in a new task, or when they have made a mistake. The lover shines through when listening to someone, or just being there for them, or sending a thank you card that can mean so much. The lover can also be harsh out of love, in some cases it takes a great deal of  love to tell someone the truth (that may hurt) instead of using kindness that does not help that person to grow. The lover has the capacity to determine the course of action that most benefits others.

The Emperor The final of the postures is the Emperor, this is the wise one, it sees the good in all, yet lives quietly and unobtrusively. It leads and supports others to lead, it is caring, practical and responsible. Wisdom comes from the ability to establish extreme clarity of purpose. The Emperor sets an example, Calm and purposeful are the Emperor’s normal states. This state draws others to your cause because of its clarity of its outcomes and its clearly structured plans to achieve those outcomes. The Emperor reveals itself in times of  crisis to be the role-model because of the ability to make calm objective decisions, and while the Emperor is not always appreciated, it is always respected.

The Angel Of the 4 postures one last posture combines the best of them all. This posture is called the Angel, and is the result of nothing less than conscious effort. It dose not occur naturally and is not appropriate in every situation. This posture requires you to relax the muscles around your head and your spinal cord and to bring your brain activity into a high Alpha state. By breathing slow, long deep breaths through your nose and relaxing your body, you begin to feel lighter and your thoughts and memory become clearer. You are able to focus intently like the warrior and experience the magical bliss and momentum of the child; you will have the sense of  connection with the world and humanity like the lover and the extreme clarity of the emperor. You will be one with all that is good in your environment. This is usually a posture that requires practice and coaching at my seminars but you can practice the concept and achieve similar results.

Learning and physically putting yourself into these postures will also develop your emotional and mental resources. The more you can experience the best of your Warrior, your Child, your Lover, and your Emperor, the more flexibility you will have in any situation and the easier it becomes to access the best of the human condition. They open the gates to your greater courage and purpose and reach into the depths of “Heart” to pull out that hidden energy, innovation and valor that allows human beings do extraordinary feats. Strength and courage come from love and the desire to help others through servitude. You lead or follow when appropriate. You may be kind or you may be strict out of your compassion for others because you have the courage to decide and act in accordance with the circumstance and your own identity. Each of these postures can bring out the best of what you are capable of and can be directed by your Identity Intelligence. Yet, when you are not using your Identity Intelligence, the dark side of these postures may appear. The warrior, child, lover and emperor all have a dark side, the reactionary part that comes from incongruence with our core Identity. For example, the Warrior’s darker side is angry, vindictive, vengeful, and fights without a cause - he would rather destroy than create. The lover’s darker side is selfindulging, frustrated, bitter and a willing victim. The child can be corrupted if he is fearful, childish, irritable, a whiner and he neglects beauty for material ideals. And the Emperor’s wicked counter-part is tyrannical, demanding, lazy, constantly annoyed, and pampered. To overcome this “Dark Side” you must become aware of what you represent in your core (do the exercise in Chapter 3) , you must look into who you truly are and uncover the facets of your Identity that truly are the best in you. Only then can you destroy the weakness that prevents you from taking command of  your dark sides and be reborn in the essence that is truly your nature. While each of these postures can be purposely drawn out, they also radiate from your internal focus and manifest themselves unconsciously in your body. And each can be recognized by the subconscious of another person. And chances are that you may be spending more time in one or two of these and very little time in the others. To achieve balance and maximize your Identity potential you must constantly ask yourself “When is it useful to change your posture, and how can you better access the abilities you need now that you are aware of how to do so?” A lady in one of my seminars was a PA to the Managing Director of a multinational securities firm in Korea. She appeared shy and seldom spoke out her opinions. While she had been in this position for about 4 years, she knew that her ideas could really help the organization, but she lacked in the confidence and assertiveness to express herself openly. Her lack of  confidence was also apparent in her physiology; she walked meekly and was the type of person that could get things done in a crowded office without anybody noticing. Yet this “meek” layer was a defense against a male dominated culture and not part of her core identity. She soon became dissatisfied with her job. Her values and her essence were far different than

her learned submissiveness. As she improved her Identity Intelligence, she discovered this meekness was a means to meet her need for security, and for love and connection (she thought she would be shunned by her peers). She began to make the changes that were more congruent with her core. One of  these started with her physiology. She accessed the “Warrior” posture of her identity and started walking with power and purpose, her shoulders back, her head up, her breathing deeper and stronger. This posture improved her energy that she directed to her femininity. The result was a sense of purpose and direction with a powerfully soft touch. And, while at first it was difficult for her colleagues to accept the changes, within one year of her discoveries, she was promoted to Vice President of Operations with the support of those same coworkers and managers she was afraid of being shunned by. The body Identity

Your physical body, its appearance and your health are all manifestations of  your identity or the layers over it. If your body is not one you are satisfied with, then the decisions you have been making about it are being influences by incongruence. If this is so, which needs are being filled by not having the kind of body you deserve? What are the postures that would be required to bring out this body? Have you been directing them in this direction? Is health and vitality one of your values? Where is it ranked, at the top or at the bottom? There is no right or wrong to any of these questions, it is only what is the true you. Not only does your physical image and dress influence your emotions, it reflects what you represent, your body and how its kept, your clothes and what they express about your personality, your body language and how it suggests your level of confidence, ability, and even mental capacity. A study in London was carried out where a man in plain cloths was huddled on a street corner yelling out for help. He was ignored for an average of almost 18 minutes before anyone helped him. The same man then dressed in a suit and tie, and he was helped within an average of less than a minute. The experiment was carried out numerous times, and the results were consistently similar. Researchers did another experiment with 2 different women at the London train station, one was plain looking with plain clothing and the other was attractively dressed with hair and make-up to match. Each was struggling to carrying 2 heavy bags up a long staircase. It took over a minute and 20 seconds before the plain woman was helped and an average of about 12 seconds before someone rushed to the aid of the attractive woman. Unfair? Maybe, but us human beings are a bit strange in the ways our mind works sometimes.

Chapter 3

The Instructions: Part 2 – The Recipe

Recognizing the contrast between what you do and who you are This chapter is the “Active section of this book. It will require you to do things, to think, to feel and to reflect on who you are, why you are, and if  you are congruent with your identity. Do the exercises in this section and you will get the benefits. Step #1 Before you go on to any other step, before you continue in your efforts to “understand” identity, you must sit down right now and write a dictionary definition of you. Your definition: This is not the negative components of what you have created through your rules of  engagement, this is the ideal you. The you that is sometimes hidden, because you don’t have time, or you don’t think it may be appropriate, or because you need to show that you are tough in your life... traits like I am stubborn, I procrastinate, I  am not confident… are usually rules that have come from past solutions to  problems and not facets of Identity, they were created to temporarily fill your needs at one point and they stuck with you. Remember when you were a child; what did   you want to be when you grew up, and more importantly, why? These are clues to who you really are. Look beyond the layers of traits you wish to change about   yourself.

So do it now! Who are you really? Take a few moments to write a “comprehensive” dictionary definition of your self. The more detailed you are the deeper and more effective this process will be. Do NOT proceed until you have done this step! Now ask yourself how a waiter in a restaurant would describe you. When I was young, my mother once told me to watch the way the girls I dated treated the waiter/waitress in a restaurant. She said that the way the girl treated them would be the way she would eventually treat me after the “newness” wore off. I have never forgotten that lesson. When people in our lives seem to not be of major significance, we sometimes treat them differently. The next question you should ask is “Are you satisfied with what these people would say about you?” Not because their opinion should dictate your behavior, but because they may see things in you that you have not seen in yourself. Good or bad, are you satisfied with your behavior in that circumstance? Is it in line with your identity? Step #2  Defining your Values.

This step requires you to determine what is important in your life. Values are created mainly by the emotional and mental parts identity. The combination of reason and emotion, the mixture of experience, needs, and the color of your brain, determine what you value and what drives you in life. Values would be pockets meaning that if present in your life, would

give you fulfillment. For example: love, success, progress, learning, gratitude, health, power, making a difference, energy, fun, family, cheerfulness, kindness, contribution to others, spirituality, fame, achievement… Now make a list of what your values are. These would be what you value most in life. Put them in order of importance. Review them a few times and ask yourself “If these values are met on a daily basis, would my life be fulfilled?” Revise the list until your answer is a definite “yes”. Now ask  yourself one more question. “Are these values in line with your Dictionary Definition of yourself?” If they are not, or if you are missing some that should be on your list, ask “What else do I need to be true to my Identity?” Modify your list to make sure it is congruent with the definition you wrote earlier. For each value on your list there are Rules for it. These are rules that you have created and these rules may or may not be serving you. Under each of  the Values on your list, write what must happen for you to have this value satisfied. For example, one of my top values when I first did this exercise was love, at that time my rules for love were, that my wife had to tell me she loved me at least twice a day, she had to express some form of physical attention at least 4 times a day and she had to positively respond to my romantic attentions. While this was happening most of the time in my relationship, I discovered to my horror that my rules for love were all about ME, ME, ME. I imagined how my wife must have felt and realized I needed to change my rules to be more congruent with my own identity. So I decided that in order for my rules to really be in line with this value, and for my value of love to be easily fulfilled, it needed to be something that “I Gave”. I came to the conclusion that if I gave love unconditionally, I knew my wife would feel special and truly loved. The action of just giving her this pure feeling was fulfilling, and this fulfillment wasn’t dependent on her reaction or what she did. I was more easily fulfilled because it was dependent on MY action. To realize my value, to feel love, all I needed to do was give love. This was a much better rule that I had redesigned, and one that was really in line with my own dictionary definition of my true self. Another participant in one of my workshops had success as one of his top values. This was by most people’s standards, a very successful man. He was a senior manager for a Danish financial firm heading their mergers and acquisitions component. The position was rewarding and well paying, and he had amassed almost 2 million dollars in his bank account, yet, he did not feel successful. As he defined his rules for success, he wrote that he needed to have $10,000,000 in the bank, he had to be the most respected person in his field, and he to have a stream of residual income that added to his wealth without doing anything.

In evaluating these rules, he discovered that by not feeling successful, he was less fulfilled and by being less fulfilled, he was not performing to his maximum potential which affected his success. He was not being congruent with his identity of a successful man. When he discovered that his rules were actually preventing him from achieving his goals, he redefined his rules for success to every time he learns something from someone or from a transaction or in a mistake, that he would be successful. He knew he was constantly learning and knew that every lesson would take him closer to his goals. So success for him became the journey and not the destination. He was able to feel better about himself, and made decisions from the perspective of a successful man. After this, every time he reflected on the fact that he had not yet accomplished his goals, his brain would feed him his new rules, and his reflection would switch to all the things he had learned that would help him to achieve them even faster. His value for success was now being constantly fulfilled.

Step #3 Understanding your drivers

You already know about how the eight basic needs which drive your motivation, and how you are always fulfilling your needs whether it be in a good or bad way. Step #3 is about understanding how it is affecting you. Write the eight needs on a separate piece of paper. Now rank them by importance. Put a 1 next to the need that is MOST important, a 2 by the second most important and so on. These are you drivers. These are the emotional triggers that direct your actions. Now, are these in line with your definition? Are they in line with your values? For example, one friend of mine had a definition of being a giving individual that was always willing to help those in need. His higher values were contribution and love. He would tell those around him that they could always count on him, and he would always be there to help if they needed him. But often, when someone actually needed help, he would often justify a reason for inaction. Those around him lost respect because he didn’t live up to what he said. Was he being dishonest? No! After reviewing his needs ranking, Security/Control was number one. While he was sincere in his desire and his core identity, the overwhelming need for security prevented him from putting himself in the unknown (or “risky”) situations that were needed to help others or from parting with money for those that were needy. It wasn’t until he confronted his conflict and understood where it came from that he was able to be in line with his core.

The Eight basic Emotional Drivers o

Belonging/Love Connection from being with others, or sense with self 

o

Security/Control Knowing what will happen, having security in our lives

o

Diversity/Change Wanting a surprise, having variety and adventure

o

Recognition/Significance  Having others pay attention to us, feeling important 

o

Achievement The need to succeed in our plans, completion

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Challenge/growth The opportunity to achieve and to grow

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Excellence Self-satisfaction and pride in the things we do

o

Responsibility/Contribution  Responsibility toward humanity, The need to give to t o others

Another individual had love as one of her primary values, yet when she truthfully ranked her needs, she found her need for significance was # 1. She had had a number of relationships in the past and they never seemed to work  out. It wasn’t until she made this discovery that she realized that her “Identity” conflict was a reflection of her expectations in these relationships. She had to be the star above everything all the time and she became insecure in a relationship when she was not. The strong need for significance was poisoning her ability to give and even to receive the love that was available to her. When she realized this, she began to catch herself when the significance need showed itself, and this awareness allowed her to put it aside so she could have the greater experience of her value of love. Eventually after about 4 months of this practice, her need for significance became less important and she relished in her new found confidence that came from her natural ability to give and receive love. The importance of your needs is also shown in habits. Habits are rules of  engagement that that have been adapted to fill a basic need. Bad habits are usually adopted because the ranking of the need is higher than the consequences of the habit. One friend of mine for example was a smoker even though she knew it gave her a “bad girl” image (and everything else about her was NOT a bad girl). She had become a smoker as a part of her identity because her identity was tied to her friends (who were smokers), yet at her core, she was a “non-smoker”. She had tried to quit before but found it difficult and then justified that she liked it. After discovering that two of  her most important needs, belonging and diversity were being met by this habit, she realized she could get an even greater sense of belonging from people that accepted her as she was and not because she followed them. When she told her friends and they acknowledged and respected her decision, it became easy to change her rules of engagement and return to her identity of being a non-smoker while still meeting her needs. Her actions in reclaiming her identity involved the awareness of her needs and there ranking, an awareness of why she created the rules that led to the habit, and an effort to initiate a supportive environment.

Chapter 4

Instructions: Part 3 – The Technique

Identifying your Identity Intelligence In this part of the book you will have an overview of how this all fits in to everyday life. You already have some distinctions about your identity, the reasons why you do the things you do and how to regain much of the strength you may have misplaced. So, how can you maximize this new awareness, and more importantly, how can you keep it? Putting it all together

Awareness is the foundation for decision, decision (or choice) is the foundation for action, and action is the foundation for emotional gratification (or not). Emotional gratification determines your fulfillment, your happiness, your productivity, our attitude towards your job and your relationships, and even your physical health and vitality. The power of identity stems from the ability to use your awareness intelligently. To use your understanding of your emotional, physical and mental facets to make decisions that will maximize your ability to live up to your own expectations. You now even have the ability to decide things that you did not know you could decide on. These would be considered “Internal” decisions. For example, you can decide to be more considerate. You can decide to have a great attitude in your job. Decide to make the difference in your personal relationship. Decide to be more organized. Decide to have a better memory… - Specific applications are detailed in future Identity Intelligence books -

These decisions use the foundations you have already set as your Identity to bring out the best of your emotional, physical and mental facilities. Decision matrix:   Emotional decisions: Loving Giving Supporting Calm Composed Fulfilled Cheerful Powerful Truthful …

 Physical decisions: Energetic Strong Tender Intense Active Relaxed …

 Mental decisions: Focused Imaginative Methodical Clever Strategic Analytical Abstract Empathic Organized …

For example to expand your mental capacity, you review the color of your brain and your natural gifts, and determine which other brain colors you need to expand to achieve your desired result. You look at your needs and determine which needs will be filled by doing this (this increases your drive). Ask how this would fit in with your values and your dictionary definition. You then use your postures to access the other parts of your brain. You can decide to have a certain emotion too. If you wanted to be cheerful, what needs would you be filling, how would being cheerful comply with your values, how would it be a part of the dictionary definition of who you are? What posture would you need to be cheerful and what color of your brain would you access? Decision making from Identity Intelligence takes “External” roles as well. The external decision is based on what is happening in your environment. When you need to make a decision in your work or in a relationship, when you need to decide a course of action or even what to say to someone, this is when drawing on your power of identity makes the difference.

Decision making Model The destiny of decisions  Every decision you make can and will take your life in a completely new direction.  A few moments of hesitation can mean that you meet someone that can have a huge impact on your life, or not. It can mean that get into an accident, or don’t. A decision about listening to a piece of music while you are working can inspire a whole new idea. The choice of words when talking to a friend can strengthen, or  weaken the relationship. Each decision you make is an opportunity for a great and   fulfilling life, and if you are making those decisions from your Identity intelligence,  you are better equipped to shape the destiny for your life.

The best decision is one made from your Identity, NOT from your  Environment  Environment is reactive Identity is constant 

This is a simple and extremely fast process. I qualify this first because at a glance it may seem complicated and time consuming. The simplicity and speed come once you know your identity. After you have done the Identity exercises, and you know who you really are and why you really do things, the process is easy. But I emphasize, you MUST do the exercises first. Speed comes from practice. The more you do this the faster you can make clear and powerful decisions that will enhance every action you take in your professional and personal life.

5 steps to knowing how to make the best decisions for your future:

Successful Decision

Color of  your Glasses

Needs Fulfillment

Postures

Values and Rules

Core Identity, Definition of  Self 

Are you approaching this from only one means of perception? Have you tried on different colored glasses? Have you considered the glasses color of the person/s you are dealing with? What needs are being fulfilled? Are they being fulfilled in a Positive way?

What Posture are you accessing? Is this the right posture to be in for making this decision? Would it be useful to look at this fro m more than one Posture? How is this congruent with your values? Does this decision create any rules or expectations that may not be in line with the rules you have chosen?

How does this decision affect the mission in your life? Will this decision help you or hinder you in being the kind person you want to be?

Taking the decision making process out of the environment

Because of our reactive nature (human defense mechanism), we tend to let decisions impact our future to be more influenced by our environment than by our identity. Since our environment is in a state of constant flux, this could be ineffective for our overall fulfillment. With the awareness of the tendency to react a situation based on immediate factors from your surroundings including the influence of those people around you, you can arm yourself with a single moment of hesitation to ask  one question: “Does this come from me, or does it come from a temporary situation that is happening in my environment?”

Chapter 5

Creating an Environment that supports your Identity

Self Guiding Actions

Decide what emotional, physical and mental qualities you will experience on a daily basis and you will create the foundations for an environment that supports those experiences. The key factors for what qualities to choose should be based on your dictionary definition of you, better ways of  fulfilling your basic needs, your values, and on the brain colors you wish to develop flexibility in. If you want to be a certain way, you must consciously decide to act that way. The easiest way I found was to create a list of the experiences you would be committed to acting on, on a daily basis. My list looks something like this: Cheerful Grateful Giving Productive Kind Organized Loving Intelligent Powerful Energetic Every day I am this list. Even if I don’t feel like being cheerful, I make a conscious effort to do so. By using postures I can access the part of me that is cheerful. If I feel I don’t have the time to be organized, I take an extra 10 minutes to organize at least one part of my efforts. Those 10 minutes gives me a great sense of accomplishment in that I am being consistent with my identity, and, it’s contagious to those around me! It is that reinforcement that strengthens my commitment to consistently following through with my actions.

Compounding of actions

If you take a piece of paper and fold it in half and then in half again and again… you will only be able to fold it a maximum of about 7 times. If you were able to fold it 56 times, the thickness would be equal to the distance between the earth and the sun. But that also means that if you fold it only 55 times, the distance would be half of that (big difference). If we are to harness the strength of our identity, we must act on it daily. Each consecutive day we live up to our own expectations is like folding the piece of paper in half, in the beginning it does not have a big impact, but if you do it continuously, you eventually have huge momentum and it becomes part of  you without effort. Yet, if you stop even for a day or two, you lose the momentum you have created (just like unfolding your piece of paper 55 times after you have already folded it 56, you lose half of your effort at once). By taking a rest, you give yourself permission to revert to your old ways. You give yourself a justification not to have a higher standard in your life. Imagine if you learned a foreign language but you never practiced it. You would hardly be able to become proficient at it. In fact, eventually, you would probably only remember a few words and phrases. Without putting what you learned into practice, learning becomes useless. In the same way, if you practice “Being” your identity, you will become great at it, and eventually even fluent to where it becomes your true and primary nature.

The language of our environment

Our environment is made up of different groups. These groups are to your environment like cells are to your body… they may be replaced by new cells but will still have the same function and they all work together to form a whole. When we talk to our friends, our colleagues, our family, or our loved ones, we are under the influence of environment. Their impressions, beliefs and even the color of their brain will impact us whenever we communicate with them. People we care about, and sometimes even strangers, have an emotional effect on us and on our identity and depending on the ranking of  our need for Belonging and Love, the effect can be strong or very strong. Environment will typically generate one of four responses. Rebel

Scrutinize

Adapt

Conform

These responses are decisions. Each decision comes with an attachment to the ranking of your needs and each creates its own type of language. For example, the language of Rebellion is phrases like:

“He doesn’t know what he’s doing” “This job really sucks” “These people have no idea of the situation” “The only way to get it done right is to do it yourself”

The language of Securitization is phrases like: “I’ll go along with it for now, but let’s see how it turns out” “How will this work, I need more convincing” “Trust has to be earned” “They seem too good to be true” The language of Adapting is phrases like: “Well, I guess its just one of those things we have to live with” “Let’s work with the resources we have” “We can always make it better in the future” f uture” “What do I have to do to make this work?” The language of Conforming is phrases like: “This is as good as it is going to get” “This is the way it’s always been done” “Finally, a place where can I fit in” “I can really relate to this” The language we use will also determine how others perceive our situation, and will affect how they treat us and reinforce our own expression and even thoughts. The language we use in our conversations and what we say or don’t say, create one sided perceptions in those around us. Those perceptions are then magnified in that environment which reinforce the one sided perceptions. For example, a gentleman from one of my seminars was dissatisfied with his boss. He would always complain about him to his friends and his wife, and they would generally sympathize with him. When he would finish work, these same friends would ask about his time at work and specifically about his boss. Even when things were good and he had no problems with his boss, he would be constantly reminded of isolated instances and the overall dissatisfaction was continued. After further probing, I discovered that it wasn’t just this boss; it was every boss he ever had. His habit of complaining to his environment made this a reoccurring situation that affected his actions toward all his bosses, which perpetuated the way they treated him. So, based on isolated instances he created perceptions in his environmental cells because of his immediate emotional needs, and thus created a continuing effect that reinforced those isolated emotions Depending on how much influence (related to how much time you spend) an environmental cell that has a slanted opinion has, it will affect the continued perception of what you have expressed to that environment. Even if things

change, the slanted opinion pulls back the perception to what was reinforced with language. How it works: o You complain about isolated instances at your work to your environmental cell. o

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

You seldom tell them about the good and normal instances about the work environment. Your environmental cell sympathizes with you and acknowledges your anxiety. Your environmental cell forms a slanted opinion of your Total situation at work. Your environmental cell consistently reinforces the slanted opinion in conversations using the same language. You are constantly surrounded by the negative language that you have created. Even if the situation at work changes, your environmental cell isn’t there to witness it and their slanted opinion stays slanted. They continue to reinforce the perception of a negative work environment. The reinforcement from your environmental cell affects your perception of your work environment and your identity within that environment. The language used in your environmental cell directs the focus of  happens (if you are looking for “frustration”, you will easily find it). Your perception reinforces the way you act at work which affect the way others act toward you and perpetuates your focus on negative instances. You wonder why things never change.

This happens in relationships too. The language used in a relationship will affect the environment in that relationship cell and your identity within that cell. Words like “You don’t appreciate me” will eventually become the action of not appreciating. The tone used when you say “I love you” will convey sincerity or complacency. When language about a relationship is used in an external environmental cell, the person in that cell will be affected because the cell will reinforce slanted opinions about the relationship. With reinforcement, the elements of that language become stronger, and perception and therefore actions in that relationship are affected for better or for worse, depending on the language. Happiness in a

relationship is greatly a product of language, but this is a topic in itself and will be addressed in one of my next books. The things you say to your friends, your colleagues, your family; the comments you make about others will be taken by those close to you, processed and regurgitated to reinforce the beliefs or presuppositions, onesided truths, or even blatant lies that you have created in moments of  emotion, reaction or self-pity. In essence, your language, what you consistently tell your environmental cells, is what is affecting your situations and perpetuating the apparent need to keep rules of engagement that may NOT be serving you. It is the glue that keeps layers over your Identity. And sometimes, even after shedding those layers, the old environment can be a powerful adversary in keeping them off. It is difficult to change an environment cell’s opinion once it has been established, but some environment cells are basically unsupportive shedding your layers. Some environment cells include others who would potentially hinder your Identity Intelligence. You need to determine This gives you three options: 1. Let your environment influence you with what you have been feeding them 2. Use language, and self guiding actions to influence your environment 3. Invent new supportive environment cells (choose people that empower you) Turning the tables

While language can work against you, it can be used to create an environment that supports you. Once you have uncovered your identity, you have the guidelines to form an environment that helps you to keep being true to yourself. Here are 5 steps to cultivating your supportive environment. 1. Communicate your values and self guiding actions to those around you 2. Get others to tell you when you are not being what you have committed to be 3. Don’t make others wrong in order to gain temporary gratification 4. Speak in terms of what you are becoming and not what you are lacking 5. Telling the truth to yourself before you talk to others Enrolling others in your identity will not only help you to create a supportive environment, it will give those in your environment an example to follow. You will lead them to finding their own identity and gaining greater fulfillment simply by acting in line with what you already are, simply by using your Identity Intelligence.

Language of environment starts from understanding. In some of my corporate consulting programs where I am required to change a corporate culture, one of the first steps is giving employees within that organization awareness of their mental, physical and emotional identities and how they interrelate to a fulfilling and productive organization. During the process, people are put into situations where they are challenged to discover the physical, mental, and emotional identities of their colleagues. As they progress in this process, they form a common language to better understand and respect their workmates, to bring them out of negative behaviors, and to maximize their natural talents. Language that is often heard is things like – “Oh, you are so green brained, ok lets try it this way” “Do you think a Worrier posture is appropriate in this situation?” “What needs are we filling by dragging this project on beyond the deadline?” “Are you running one of your rules of engagement here?” “How would a purple brain do this?” “I think I might have too many rules for this, better revisit my values”.

When everyone is speaking a common language, the environment is set to cultivate the awareness and consistency that language represents. Through your Identity Intelligence you will teach others the skills and with it comes the language. When you are finished with this book, give it to a friend so they can develop with you and be a part of the environment that supports you. The radar in your Brain will influence your environment to make things happen

The more you practice acting on Identity Intelligence, the more you practice “Being” your ideal self, the greater influence you have on you environment. If you recall the earlier section on the Reticular Activating system (brain radar), you know that it notices things that your brain is focusing on. When you use your Identity Intelligence regularly, you will gain extreme awareness of occasions to develop it and even subconsciously act in ways to support it. In each of your environments, you notice more opportunities to make a difference in others, reinforcing your own Identity Intelligence. Others also subconsciously notice your way of “being” and are affected by it. This creates the opportunities to establish a congruent and lasting supportive environment.

The 5 pillars of a transformational environmental cells

To create lasting and continuous improvement we must educate those around us. Loan others in your environments this book, teach them what you have learned, or bring them to one of our seminars. With a greater

awareness of the Identity Intelligence technology, you can cultivate environmental cells that cause you and others to live in greater harmony with more productivity and fulfillment. Here are the 5 foundations to make this happen:

Congruency of individuals in Cell Replicating Identity Intelligence in Others Consistent improvement and reinforcement of Identity Intelligence T  h   e  c   e l   l   m  u  s   t   h   a v   e  a  g r   e  a  t    e r   p  u r   p  o  s   e

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 b  T   e h  l    e i    e v   c   e  e l    c  l    a m n  u  s  m  t    a h  k   a  e v   a  e  d   t    e i   f    c  f    e h  n r   o  e n l    c   o  e  g  y   t   h   e  y 

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Environmental Cell that strives for Excellence

Lessons from the Monkey King

A US study took 5 monkeys and put them in a room with a stepladder in the middle of the room. On top of the stepladder they put some bananas. When one of the monkeys would start to climb the ladder, the researchers would spray the monkey with water and then spray all the other monkeys. Each time a monkey would start to climb the ladder, the researchers would repeat the procedure until eventually all of the monkeys just sat in the corner and stared at the bananas. Then the researchers put away their hose, took one of  the monkeys out, and replaced him with a brand new monkey. So this new monkey looks at the bananas, looks at the other monkeys, wonders why they are sitting in the corner staring at the bananas, and then starts climbing the ladder. Immediately the other monkeys freak out and start beating him and pulling him down off the ladder. He doesn’t understand why but he figures there must be something wrong with the bananas and he comes down and sits in the corner with the other monkeys, and stares at the bananas. The researchers then replaced another of the original monkeys, and another, and each time the new monkey starts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys grab and beat on him until he comes off. Eventually, all of the

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original monkeys that were sprayed with water were replaced with new ones, and they all still sat in the corner and stared at the bananas. When yet another monkey was put in, all of the monkeys that had never been sprayed with water went after him, beat on him and pulled him down. Why? Because that’s the way it was always done! But then the researchers took all the monkeys out and put one new monkey in the room by himself. The new monkey sees the ladder, sees the bananas, and starts to climb the ladder. He begins to eat the bananas and discovers that these are not ordinary bananas; they are Del Monte premium bananas. As he savors this premium banana taste, he is in monkey heaven. A few hours later (when the monkey is hungry again) they put this monkey in with 4 of the original monkeys and they put new bananas on the ladder. This monkey sees the bananas and once again starts up the ladder. The original monkeys see him climbing the ladder and immediately grab him and start beating on him and pulling him down. But the difference was that this monkey had tasted the bananas, he new they were good. So he beat and kicked at the other monkeys and pulled himself up until he reached the bananas. When the other monkeys saw this, each slowly started to climb the ladder and eventually all the monkeys were eating bananas. The question is, have you been acting like a monkey? Have you let others pull you down? Have you been pulling others down? In order for you to master your environment, you must learn how to become a Monkey King. And to become a monkey king, a monkey must go through 4 trials. The first and hardest trial is the Banana Tree Environment . This is where most monkeys live. It’s easy, monkeys just sit around all day, and when they are hungry, they just grab a banana, then sit around some more, and grab another banana. They become very complacent. This environment thrives on  justifications and his Rules of Engagement that serve for temporary gratification. It does not inspire innovation or higher standards of being, it’s  just easy. To overcome this trial, a monkey must have great courage and take a great risk. He must step out of the banana tree environment; he must leave complacency and step out into the unknown. And the moment he takes that step, he looks out at a tall mountain, and he begins to climb. As he gets a third of the way up the mountain, he meets the second trail, the Speed  Demon  Demon and everybody around his starts to move very slowly. He has been climbing enthusiastically trying to reach the top, and has been engaging others in his quest, but they just don’t move fast enough. Every effort that requires the help of others seems to take too long. He starts to think that everybody doesn’t care, that they are trying to hold back his progress. He becomes frustrated with the lack of progress and the attitudes of others, and this causes him to loose his footing as he climbs. Then, he realizes that it is not that others are going slow, it is because of his

excitement and passion that he is moving very fast and his environment (those around him) hasn’t caught up yet. They are still moving at a normal speed. And on this realization, he beats the Speed Demon, and becomes more tolerant of others, slowly helping them to build their excitement and courage. As he climbs further, he is almost to the top, he is tired and weary, it’s been a difficult climb. And then he meets the third trial: “The Swamp”. And as he stands in front of the swamp, his shoulders drop, his eyes sag and he is discouraged. He has worked so hard to get this far and now, the mud, the vines and the darkness. As he steps forward into the mud, he feels the layers around him constricting his very being. He tries to get through the vines but they are too strong. As he steps back in a moment of utter despair, he remembers the reason for his quest, to create a greater environment and remembers that it must start with him. He must shed his layers of  incongruence and unearth his identity. And, as he tells himself the truth and reveals his ideal self, the vines fall away, and a dry path forms from the mud. He walks through the swamp with ease and he has beaten the third trial. He continues to climb. He reaches the top of the mountain; there in front of him stands the finale and most terrifying trial “The Mirror of Significance”. As he stands in front of the Mirror, he sees his reflection standing tall and proud. He sees all who apposed him and all who were his pears, standing below him as followers to a great conqueror. He is filled with a sense of significance, with the triumph that he has surpassed others. He feels as if he’s made it. And yet he can not move forward because the mirror stands in his way. To break the mirror would erode his significance, it would take value away from his difficult  journey. He would be robbed of his triumph over others. And then, it occurs to him! Generosity! His inborn need to give of himself. He realizes the real triumph is not over others, but over himself. And that by being generous, by helping others to achieve the same or even greater heights than he has, he gains that final facet of pure humanity. So he closes his fist, and CRASHES through the mirror. There, in the distance, stands the Great Monkey Castle. And as you start walking down the path to the great castle doors, all those who hindered you, all those that didn’t understand you, all those who helped you, your friends, your family, those that guided you, and those that followed you, are all standing along the path. And as you walk down, each of them shakes your hand with respect and admiration. They look into your eyes and express their sincere appreciation for what you have accomplished. You feel at peace, with a soft sense of power that can move mountains, yet be as gentle as a rose. As you approach the great castle doors, they open outward to reveal the perfect décor, your ideal environment. And as you climb up the spiral staircase, there, on the second floor is the great monkey throne room. To the right are giant windows overlooking the ocean, and as you look out, they are

windows to the past. You can see all the difficulties that gave you strength, you can see the rules of engagement that you had created and how they served you. You can see the rules you let go because they no longer serve you. All the people you learned from. Every experience, good and bad that help you to grow, helped you to be one step closer to your higher self. You feel grateful. Grateful for all that has happened, grateful for everyone who has come into your life, grateful for the lessons you have gained. And with this gratitude comes forgiveness, forgiveness for all those who may have taught you a lesson through pain. And to the left are another set of giant windows overlooking the mountains, and as you look out, they are windows to the future. You can see the fulfillment you have created in your life, you can see the fulfillment you have helped to create in the lives of others, and you can feel the satisfaction of living in a way that has made a difference in everything you touch. The success you have manifested for yourself has extended to your environment and those who are in it. Now the past and the future meet in a big explosion, and when the smoke clears, there is only the present moment. From this moment forward, you make the decisions based on your Identity not your environment In an environment were you are constantly challenged to fix problems. Identity Intelligence plays its greatest part in the ability to NOT fix the problem. Every time you try to fix the problem, you are starting from an environment that is faulty, from methods that didn’t get the desired outcome, and these faults can cloud the judgment of even the most objective person. When you use your Identity Intelligence, you come from a place that is clear of problems, you start with the end in mind and think and act from a perspective that will create results based on what your life is about and who you will ultimately become. You start with a clean slate, where the past and future have no meaning because it is there for you to create. At this point problems and conflict take the shape of “information” and are second to the ultimate achievement of cultivating your ideal self through every decision, through every action, through being true to your core. From this foundation your environment is no longer the main influence. You take control of your destiny and you influence your environment. The stronger you become in your awareness of self and in using your Identity Intelligence, the greater the ability you have to influence your surroundings to support your journey. There is no place to start, there is only a way to be, and the journey is one that never ends it but is always beginning. Every situation, every decision is an opportunity to practice being you ideal self. Each is a new beginning, and each builds on the other.

Taking your environment with you You now understand the many facets of your Identity and are able to make decisions based on it instead of your environment. You have the tools to use your Identity Intelligently and in influence your environment. So now in this final chapter is the time to ask you some questions.  Have you created rules of engagement in your past that no longer serve you?  Are you telling yourself the truth about your life and your rules of engagement? What would you lose if you didn’t change your rules? What are some of the key areas where you are fulfilling your needs in a negative way? What postures you live in?  Are you using the postures appropriately? What is the color of your brain and in what areas have you been a policeman when  you should have been a carpenter? What new software can you write for you colored brain processor? What have you learned about your ideal definition of self?  How have your rules been preventing you from satisfying your values?  How can you fill your needs to create constant drive becoming your ideal self?  Have you been compounding actions that promote your ideal self, or actions that  reinforce layers of incongruence?  Have you been living and practicing your self guiding actions?  Are you using the right language in your environmental cells?  Are you helping others to develop the language of Identity Intelligence to support   your environment?  At work, have you been dragged down by the other monkeys?  How were you when you first started your work?  Have you been creating a poor environment for others?  Is it time to bring out the lover, and ask yourself “Who have I been unsupportive to?” “Is there someone that you should say you are sorry to?” “Is there someone who you may have been taking for granted and where a simple thank you would  make a big difference?”

When was the last time you brought out the child? If you could see your 5 year old  self playing in a field and kneeled down and looked deeply into that child’s eyes, what would you say about their future, what would you tell them about how to be? What do you remember about how you were? What about in your relationships, are you living in the banana tree environment?  Are your life, your work, and your relationships as great as they could be?  Do you love your work and get fulfillment from it as if it were a hobby?  Do you have passion for every day regardless of what happens around you? What rules can you create to support the right environment and maintain it?  Do you get fulfillment from helping others?  How can the Decision Making Model make a huge difference in your life?

If you used your Identity Intelligence, could you become the Monkey King? Could you become the power behind your destiny and help others to do the same? Do you believe that for every person you help, whether it is at work  or at home, you are creating an environment that supports greater achievement and greater fulfillment? Share your knowledge and become a teacher of Identity. Share this book and help others to become teachers. Use the language and cultivate your environment to support higher standards of  life.

Glossary of terms:

Explorer – Looking for something, but have not yet found it. Have no strong foundation to build on.

Discoverer – Have discovered your foundation and are constructing (or are ready to construct) on it. From this foundation the Discoverer expands the realm of discovery.

Construct – To build up and outward from a foundation. All that exists began from something and has its foundation and expansion from a decision. Construction takes place in parts and expands outward and upward.

Identity – An intangible essence that is made of mental, emotional and physical elements merged with our greater consciousness or soul.

Intelligence – The ability to act consciously. The ability to consciously decide your direction and environmental influence to affect a result. The ability to not react to your environment.

Identity Intelligence – The ability to use our “Identity” faculties Intelligently. The ability to make conscious decisions using Identity as our foundation for constructing our ideal self. The ability to have such a great awareness of ourselves and our environment, that we can clearly make conscious decisions to affect our greater results.

Event – Instances that take place in your life that made, or will make a difference. An occasion that is given a meaning.

Rules of Engagement – Rules about how to be in the face of an event that caused emotional pain. A means to ease the pain (or potential pain) by reacting in a specified pattern of action or inaction.

Communicate – The use any or all faculties, physical, visual, verbal, mental and emotional to establish a connection between a being and the environment, a being and another being, or a being and itself.

Connect – Not only understanding a communication, but “connecting” the communication to actions that have already taken place and visualize how this new knowledge would have affected the outcome and/or how can affect future outcomes.

Upgrade – The ability to review rules, needs and values in order affect your awareness, tolerance and state of being in order to affect your identity.

Cultivate – To prepare for an Affect through a series of Events Affect – To construct a reality through decision and action. Or the construction of a reality in an environment

Colored glasses – Looking through a perception that is slanted only to the way our brain processes information. Colored brain – The genetic makeup of a person’s brain that determines the way they process information and thought.

Brain Racism – Judging others by the color of their brain. Reaction – The action that is taken without clear thought based on events occurring in an environment. Reaction is not a thought process and occurs in the lower and smaller, reptilian brain

Need – The foundational emotional driver that directs our decisions and beliefs. There are 8 needs that drive our emotions and therefore actions

Posture – The physical manifestation of thought and emotion. physical postures access the different parts of the brain and evoke different emotions depending on the smallest difference in posture

Complete – To finish the construction of one part of your life and move on to the next. Crash through the mirror – To go past your need for significance through your accomplishments. To have the ability to cultivate significance through the greater need of  contribution. Crashing through the mirror is the final step to affecting your environment.

Need Patterns – The patters that we consistently repeat to gain emotional gratification but often negatively affect other parts of lives.

Need Sucking – A need pattern with in an environmental cell that “Sucks” need gratification from others in that cell.

Environment – All that is external of your Identity. The events and people around us that we sometimes react to.

Environmental Cell – A group of people (2 or more) that uniquely affect the dynamics of that group

Coming soon:

Companies also have the Emotional, the Mental and the Physical components to their existence. And these areas determine its culture, and the performance of the individuals within the organization. Lookout for my new book “Identity Intelligence for Organizations” and learn the strategies for cultivating a brand-congruent and leadership-enriched culture within your organization. Other Identity Intelligence titles to look for in the future:

Identity Intelligence for Organizations Identity Intelligence for Great Relationships Identity Intelligence for Powerful Leadership Identity Intelligence for Time Management and Organization Maximizing memory with Identity Intelligence Raising Children with Identity Intelligence Identity Intelligence for Teenagers

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[email protected] For information on Arthur F. Carmazzi and how he and Identity Intelligence can help you design your organization’s culture, log on to:

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