IELTS Essay Writing Argument essay
Introduction
1)........ since the dawn of time/All around the world/As long as there is technology 2) Throughout history........../It is commonly commonly seen 3) It is agreed that ......... ....../It is supported/The idea is not supported/It is disagreed disagreed 4)This argument will be proven by looking at how
Supporting Paragraph 1
5) For one,..................../Firstly 6) For example...../For instance 7)This makes it clear..../Because clear..../Because of this example... 8)As this shows... Supporting Paragraph 2
9) In addition to this..../Secondly/Moreover 10) An instance illustrating this in action is..../For instance 11) Thus ...... /As can be seen from the example.... 12) It is obvious from this that.....
Conclusion Paragraph
13) Following this look at ..... 14) It has been proven that ..../It has been shown that 15) Thus it is recommended /Thus it is predicted that... Essay
Question
Living with animals such as owning a pet dog, cat or bird is good for people. Do you agree or disagree? Use personal examples to illustrate your responses
Human
beings have shared the world with animals since the dawn the time.Throughtout history
animals have provided humanity not only with sustenance and work but also companionship. It is agreed that li ving with animals is beneficial for people. This argument will be proven by looking at how sharing a home with an animal can both encourage feelings of empathy and teach responsibility For one, common dwelling between animal and human can help people understand the feelings and needs of others. For example when I was young I was required to take care of family͛ s two dogs Caring for these dogs demanded I be conscious of their needs and I believe this was a very key lesion in my development as an empathetic person. As my example shows living with animals have a positive effect on people. In addition to this people who share homes with animals are taught how to become responsible individuals. Returning to the prior example from my youth, as a boy I had to follow a rigorous schedule to ensure my dogs were fed on time, given attention and taken outside few times a day. This daily practice in being responsible for an other living thing had a very strong impact on my sense of duty. As results such as this are common among all who own pets, the benefits animals bring to people are clear. Following this look at how living with animals increases a person͛s sense of empathy and understanding of responsibility, it has been proven that sharing a home with another living thing has more pros than cons. Thus, owning a pet is highly recommended.
Task 1 General
You went on a sightseeing sightseei ng trip with a tour company but did not like it. Write a letter lett er to the company manager to complain. In your letter lett er include: y y y
why you went on the trip what you did not like about it what you suggest the company do to improve their service for future visitors
To the manager of Gordon Travel, I am writing this letter to you to bring bring to your attention a few shortcomings shortcomings in the service you provide.
Human
beings have shared the world with animals since the dawn the time.Throughtout history
animals have provided humanity not only with sustenance and work but also companionship. It is agreed that li ving with animals is beneficial for people. This argument will be proven by looking at how sharing a home with an animal can both encourage feelings of empathy and teach responsibility For one, common dwelling between animal and human can help people understand the feelings and needs of others. For example when I was young I was required to take care of family͛ s two dogs Caring for these dogs demanded I be conscious of their needs and I believe this was a very key lesion in my development as an empathetic person. As my example shows living with animals have a positive effect on people. In addition to this people who share homes with animals are taught how to become responsible individuals. Returning to the prior example from my youth, as a boy I had to follow a rigorous schedule to ensure my dogs were fed on time, given attention and taken outside few times a day. This daily practice in being responsible for an other living thing had a very strong impact on my sense of duty. As results such as this are common among all who own pets, the benefits animals bring to people are clear. Following this look at how living with animals increases a person͛s sense of empathy and understanding of responsibility, it has been proven that sharing a home with another living thing has more pros than cons. Thus, owning a pet is highly recommended.
Task 1 General
You went on a sightseeing sightseei ng trip with a tour company but did not like it. Write a letter lett er to the company manager to complain. In your letter lett er include: y y y
why you went on the trip what you did not like about it what you suggest the company do to improve their service for future visitors
To the manager of Gordon Travel, I am writing this letter to you to bring bring to your attention a few shortcomings shortcomings in the service you provide.
Last
week, I traveled to Kiev as part of your Eastern Europe Journey program in an effort to better educate myself about this region region of the world. Although the hotel hotel and meals were fine, the tour guide on our bus bus was less than adequate. He seemed ill prepared for the tour and kept forgetting facts and the names names of the locations we were visiting. visiting. To be honest, he seemed so unsure of himself when speaking speaking to our group that I have the feeling he had never been to Kiev before. befor e. In addition to this, although he was was able to speak broken Russian, it was evident he could not speak any Ukrainian. This of course made the tourists aboard our bus even more skeptical of the facts he was sharing regarding Ukrainian linguistic history. I hope you use my feedback constructively constructively to improve the quality of your tour for for future visitors to the Ukraine. Ensuring your patrons receive receive an English-speaking Ukrainian native native as a tour guide would be a good start. Good luck, Ryan Task1 General
Write to your community hospice and volunteer volunte er your time to assist old people for free. free. In your letter, explain: explain: y y y
why you want to help old people what you can do exactly what time you are available
To the Richmond Hospice, I am writing to enquire whether whether you are in need of additional additional volunteers at the moment. Allow me to introduce myself and and share a bit of background regarding my request. For the past ten years, I have found great fulfillment in working with with the elderly at the Peace Hospice in Carleton County. County. While working there, I served dinner dinner to the residents every Sunday evening and had the opportunity opportu nity to chat with people people from all walks of life. For me, being able to comfort people in the later stages of their lives is very r ewarding. As you know, the Peace Hospice Hospice will be unfortunately closing as of next next week and many of the residents are being transferred transferr ed to you. Thus, I was hoping I could continue to serve dinner between 4 and 7 pm every Sunday at your facility. facilit y. If you could find some way to accommodate this request, I would be most grateful. Looking
forward to hearing form you, yo u,
Ryan Task1General
ou have to reschedule a meeting your company has recently pledged to have with members of another company. In your letter:
y y y
explain why you need to amend the schedule apologize for the amendment suggest a new meeting time
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to you regarding our plans to meet this 12th December 2011. I regret to inform you that it looks like our team will not be able to uphold the arrangement. Please allow me to apologize on behalf of Company XYZ for any inconvenience this has caused you. As you know, our financial situation this year has been dire. Unfortunately, things took yet another turn for the worse this past week as our CFO decided to resign. As a result of this, most people in our office have become burdened with additional work, making our meeting on the 12th simply impossible at the moment. I trust you can understand the difficult times we are in now. If possible, we would like to postpone our meeting by a week. Do you think your team could arrange to see us at our headquarters on the 18th at 10 am? Please excuse the confusion, Ryan Task1General
Write a letter to your friend apologizing for not informing them about a recent move you made to another city. In your letter include: y y y
Dear
an explanation for your sudden move a description your new home in what way your new home is better than your old home
Curtis,
I am writing to apologize for not updating you on my new living status. You see, late last week I returned home to find my basement flooded. It appears that the cold weather we have been having caused a water supply pipe running along the roof of the basement to burst. Although the problem was addressed before major damage occurred, my landlord offered to have me move to one of his other houses until everything is completely rectified. Personally, I am not complaining about this move as the new place is much roomier and has a nice view of the park. It also has cable TV and pool table, which will make returning to my old place difficult! Again, I¶m sorry that I was not able to let you know ahead of time that I was moving. Please take note of my new address as printed on the envelope encasing this message. Your friend, Ryan
Your local community newspaper has announced a competition to acknowledge a person who has greatly contributed to your town or city. Write a letter to the editor about a person you know who deserves the award. In your letter include: y y y
what his/her personal qualifications are how you know the person how he/she contributed to the community
To the editor of the Highland Local Times, I am writing in response to your request for nominations of individuals that have made significant contributions to our home of Highland. The person I would like to nominate is Doctor Alan Charlsby. Allow me to highlight why I believe he is deserving of this award. I had the pleasure of meeting of meeting Doctor Charlsby during our preliminary medical studies 30 years ago and we have remained professional colleagues since. Doctor Charlsby, currently heading the medical studies d epartment of Highland Medical School, is a model citizen whose life has been devoted to hard work, perseverance and charity. Despite being offered higher paying positions in larger cities, he has committed his life to education and has helped our community¶s young scholars achieve excellence in t heir medical studies. Today, Highland Medical School is considered among the best institutions for medicine in the country, and I do not believe this would have been possible without the efforts of Doctor Charlsby. As you can see, Doctor Alan Charlsby has brought both prestige and opportunity to our Highland community. I hope you agree that he is the right choice to receive your award. Good luck with the selection process, Ryan Write a letter to a friend asking for help moving to a new flat. In your letter include: y y y
why you are moving a description of the new flat why you need your friend¶s help
Dear Richard,
I hope you have been keeping well and that this letter finds you and your wife in good spirits. I am writing to ask a favour with regards to the move I told you about last we met. As you know, my wife and I are planning to relocate to the other side of town to be closer to our work. After two months of searching, we have finally found a place we feel comfortable in. There are two balconies, a spare bedroom and study, a new barbecue and, my wife¶s favourite, a small studio for her to paint in. Anyway, we are short a few hands to help lugging the stuff this Saturday. Could I ask you to pitch in? My wife and I would be delighted to offer you dinner and a chat over wine in
compensation. No pressure to join, of course, but it would really help us a lot if you could find the time. Your friend, Ryan You purchased electronic equipment online and found it damaged when it arrived. Write a letter of complaint to the manager of the online company. In your letter: y y y
Dear
describe the product describe the damage explain what you want to happen as a result of this incident
Sir/Madam,
I am writing to you regarding damaged goods I have received from your company. You see, while perusing your website last week, I came across an external data drive that I felt could help me backup the hard drives of a few old computers I have in my office. You can imagine my surprise when the product arrived with a large crack in the outer casing, exposing the inner wiring. I imagine his must have happened during transit as this crack is way too obvious to have been missed by the packaging department of your company. The product code is AA44-57 and I am attaching a copy of my receipt to this letter for your reference. I think it goes without saying that I am expecting you to reissue a working data drive to me. Please let me know where and how to send the damaged goods back to you. I also expect you to pay for the postage of this return. Expecting prompt action, Ryan
Write to your landlord about minor accident you had in the kitchen yesterday that has caused some damage. Talk about : y y y
what happened describe the problem and damage clearly say what you want the landlord to do
Dear Clarence,
I regret having to inform you that my wife and I had a small accident in the kitchen of your apartment yesterday. I am writing this letter to let you know precisely what happened. Last
night, my wife brought a large quantity of water to a boil in a clay pot as a base for a soup she was making. After the water reached a rolling boil, the pot cracked open spilling
boiling water all over the floor. Luckily, my wife was not injured. However, the linoleum lining of the kitchen floor has been almost completely mangled. In fact, very little of the floor is still recognizable. My wife and I would like to offer to cover the cost of redoing the floor, as we feel terrible for being the indirect cause of this problem. We would like you to come over this weekend so we can plan what the next step is regarding this issue. Yours truly, Ryan You need to read a book that cannot be found in the book shops in your area. Write a letter to a bookshop in another city asking for the book. In your letter: - describe the book - explain why you need the book - and how you would pay for it Dear
Toronto Books and More,
I am writing to you regarding a book I cannot seem to track down here in Ottawa. The book is entitled µThe Spoils of War¶ and is an account of American economic growth following the collapse of the Soviet Union. The first edition of the book was published in 1999, but a 2002 edition is available under the alternati ve title µAfter the Curtain¶. I would like to express how important it is that I find this book. You see, I am currently completing an Economics degree at Ottawa University and have recently been t old by my professor that this publication would greatly aid my final term paper. In the event you have this book, I would be most grateful if you could hold a copy for me. I already have plans to be in Toronto next week and could pick it up from you in person. Hoping to hear back from you soon, Ryan Your friend works as a publisher for a food-related magazine. Write a letter to them describing a meal you recently had. Tell your friend: y y y
Dear
What dishes were included in the meal Where you ate the meal Which dish in particular you liked the most
Nik,
I trust you have been keeping well since we last spoke. I am writing to you to share a culinary experience I had that really opened my palate to a world of new flavours.
As you know, I have recently moved to the province of Anhui in China. Last night, my Anhui colleagues treated me to a traditional dinner. The meal was served in a Buddhist temple sitting atop a quaint little mountain, which I found particularly charming. In keeping with the religion, all courses were vegetarian. Among the many dishes were sticky rice balls submerged in vegetable soup, steamed bamboo and an assortment of grilled mushrooms. However, my favourite course by far was an aged tofu spread that is eaten with crunchy rice strips. The spiciness of this dish really complimented the saltiness of the rest of the meal. As I know you would also marvel at this dish, I was sure to take a jar of the spicy tofu with me. You can thus try it when I return home! See you in a few weeks, Ryan Write a letter to a friend in a foreign country. In your letter you should: y y y
ask what kind of job you would be able to get there ask what the working conditions are there explain why you want to work there
Ryan¶s note: y
Dear
I posted a response to a very similar question a few weeks back. It looks like this question has been repeated a few t imes in various cities around the world. Anna,
I hope you are in good spirits and health. It has been much too long since we last met. I am writing to you to tell you that, like you, I have decided to pursue a career in design in New York City and was hoping you could provide me with some guidance based on your experiences there. Let
me start by saying that I am so excited t o finally have the opportunity to travel to a foreign country. It has always been my dream to live in New York City and to experience life within one of the world¶s most multicultural metropolises. However, I am a little anxious about a few things. For one, what kind of job do you think a design major like me could get there? How would you describe the working conditions? I am really looking forward to your response. When I arrive, we¶ll have to catch up over chili dogs at a Giants game! Bye for now, Ryan ou are really impressed with the work of a photographer who captured guests at your friend¶s party. Write a letter to the photographer asking them to work at your next family event. Your letter should include:
1. Why you would like them to work for you. 2. Which picture you liked most and why. 3. What the family event is and what photo sizes you will require. Dear
Paul Lawson of Lawson Photography,
I am writing to you regarding your work and am hoping I can provide you more of it. Honestly, I was quite taken by the portraits, couples and group shots you took at my friend Richard¶s party last weekend. The photos, now framed and sitting atop Richard¶s piano, really captured the evening well and appear to be among the highest quality photography work I have ever seen. In particular, there is a photo of Richard¶s grandmother and grandfather, both Holocaust survivors, which reflects their happiness well and makes them look quite dignified in their old age. Thus, I suppose it goes without saying that I am hoping I can convince you to join my family next month for the baptism of my cousin Robert¶s son. We¶re hoping to have both indoor and outdoor small group shots, photos of the baptism itself and larger group shots of the entire family during the reception to follow. All photos are to be in wallet and standard portrait sizes. Hoping you will join us next month, Ryan You recently visited a tourist attraction. Although the experience was an enjoyable one, you had a minor problem. Write a letter to the manager of this attraction and say: -what you enjoyed about the attraction -what was the problem -what you suggest the manager do to rectify the problem
To the management of the Ottawa Strawberry Fields Company, My family was fortunate enough to visit your fruit farm this past weekend during the last leg of our Canadian tour. Although we had a wonderful time picking berries and learning about Canadian agricultural history, the purpose of this letter is to bring a problem we had to your attention. Please allow me to explain what happened to fully put you in the picture. Basically, as we were departing and walking to our rented car, we were accosted by a number of aggressive peddlers looking to sell us touristy goods. Despite our best efforts to ignore them, these peddlers made attempts to prevent us from lea ving and yelled obscenities at us when we refused to purchase their cheap goods. I am aware that the sellers we met in your parking lot are not affiliated with your company, however I would expect the Ottawa Strawberry Fields Company to do what it can to keep these sorts of people away from its patrons.
Regards, Ryan An online student of mine recently told me they saw the following question on the Task 1 portion of their General exam: An annual event was recently held in your area. Write a letter to the organizers of this event congratulating them on a successful production. In your letter, include: -the details of the event -what you most liked about the event -a polite criticism of something you thought could be improved Dear
Sir or Madam,
I am writing to congratulate you on your recent performance of Shakespeare¶s Twelfth Night this past Saturday at the Mickelson Theatre of the Arts in Brisbane. Here in Brisbane, we look forward to your annual displays of the world¶s most celebrated writer. It was a magnificent show, and I am sure everyone in the audience was as mesmerized as I was. Let
me start by saying your choice to cast Alice Piper for the lead role was very fitting. I personally found her performance particularly astonishing and was the highlight of the evening for me. Victor Kempler¶s interpretation of the character Sebastian made for good accompaniment, however I have to say that I feel an older actor would have probably been more suitable. This is only a minor imperfection, though, and one that paled in comparison to the event¶s strengths. Congratulations on your fantastic effort! You have left Brisbane waiting with enthusiasm for your return next year. Bravo! Ryan Here is a Task 1 question as seen on the General IELTS exam in Brazil this month: A friend of yours is applying for a job as a sports instructor for teenagers in a summer school in Australia. He is asking you to write a recommendation letter to the principal of the school. In your letter, you should say: -how long you have known him for -what are his qualifications -why he is suitable for the position
Here is my suggested response: To whom it may concern, I am writing to you on behalf of my friend, Elliot Carter, who recently sent you an application and aspires to be a part of your team this summer. It would be my pleasure to give you some background information on him and explain why I feel he would be a wonderful addition to your faculty. Personally, I have known Elliot for the better part of seven years as we studied Adolescent Education together at Brent University in Canberra. In addition to graduating with distinction, Elliot spent each of his university summers volunteering at various schools similar to your own. His popularity with the students garnered him the µfavourite teacher¶ award at each of those schools. Following this experience, he was offered the title of Academic Director at the prestigious Youth Melbourne Academy of Leaders, which he has held to this day. He has informed me that he is eager to take on a new challenge, hence his enthusiasm regarding working at your institution. I hope this letter encourages you to add Elliot to your roster of teachers. With all of his experiences and qualifications, I have no doubt he will bring a lot of talent to you. Sincerely, Ryan Write a letter to the principle of your college to inform him that you have joined an evening course that appears not to match its description in the college brochure. In your letter, you should include: -why you have joined the course -how the course is different from the brochure description -what action you expect the principal to take Start your letter with: Dear Sir,
Dear Sir, I am writing to you regarding a course I am taking at Homer College that appears to bear little resemblance to its description in the school¶s brochure. You see, about one month ago I came across your brochure which described a Bantu Languages weekend course that could be applied as a credit towards the university¶s Bachelor of Arts degree. As a languages major myself, I was very interested in taking this course to help fast track my studies at Homer. Currently, however, we are three weeks into the course and have spent little time analyzing Bantu-related topics. Our professor, Dr. Yule,
seems very accomplished but has a tendency to let his lectures shift towards general African history. As this isn¶t really in keeping with the brochure¶s description, I¶m sure you can understand I feel a bit baffled as to what the nature of this course is. What I would appreciate is if the college could get back to me to confirm whether this is a history or languages course. If the latter, I would hope someone would have a word with Dr. Yule to help him stay more on topic. Thank you, Ryan
Sentence starters for General IELTS Task 1 If you have already seen my video series regarding letter writing, you know that in additional to a salutation and a farewell your Task 1 response is going to have 3 paragraphs outlining: (1) the purpose of your letter, (2) a description of the situation and (3) a statement regarding what you as the writer would like to see happen. Here is a quick rundown of some sentence starters you can use in each of these 3 sections of your letter: (1) I am writing to bring to your attention« As you may or may not be aware« The purpose of this letter is to draw your attention to« This letter is being written to you in hopes« (2) Basically, what has happened is« To date, « Over the past few weeks I have noticed« The cause of my concern is rooted in« (3) It would thrill me if you could consider« I would be so grateful if you could« I expect this situation to be resolved in a timely manner. I demand you rectify what has happened and expect« ublic transportation could be made free of charge. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this change?
Most large cities today boast numerous public transit options, available to residents for a fee. Whether providing these options free of charge is a positive thing is often a highly debated topic. It is felt making public transportation available free of charge ramifies more advantages than disadvantages. This will be proven by looking at how a free public transportation system encourages more environmentally friendly living and provides accessibility to low-income individuals.
For one, encouraging people to use public transportation through fare elimination has many benefits to the environment. For example, as more people use a city¶s public transit system, the congestion that city experiences on the road is greatly reduced. Having fewer vehicles on the road in turn reduces a city¶s overall carbon footprint immensely. Thus, the benefit to removing public transportation fares can be s een. In addition to this, allowing people to use a city¶s transportation services without charge can be exceptionally helpful to low-income residents. For instance, any city that employs this change would empower its people with the ability to live and work in entirely different parts of a city, regardless of their economical situation. This would thus heighten a low-income earner¶s chances of gaining financial ground. As this example shows, privileging a city¶s people with free transit service boasts more benefits than drawbacks. After analyzing the above, it is clear that removing the fare charged to public transit passengers has more pros than cons. It is hoped this alternative is considered as a future growth option for emerging cities. Some people focus on national news, while others think it is more important to be aware of international news. Discuss both views and offer your opinion.
Most would argue a basic understanding of events at both a national and international level is important. Whether one is more important than the other, however, is difficult to say. Both opinions will be analyzed in this essay before a reasoned conclusion is drawn. On the one hand, many people believe their nation¶s interior issues should take reporting precedence over exterior ones. For example, elderly people in Canada, who tend to travel less than their younger counterparts, often focus on local news issues. The reason for this is that these domestic stories apply more directly to day-to-day life in Canada, and this is an area of news Canada¶s elderly people are interested in. As this example shows, it is understandable why some people focus their attention more on national news reports than international ones. However, on the other hand, others feel thoroughly understanding international events is more important than focusing on local news. People who typically share this point of view usually defend it by arguing that as cultures, economies and borders blur, a proper understanding of the world is necessary to retain competitiveness. Young people, such as university students, act as good examples here as their lifestyles employ more foreign tr avel and thus require a working knowledge of developments on the global stage. Thus, it is understandable why this point of vie w has garnered support. After analyzing all sides of the above debate, it is argued that being equally versed in both national and international news is important. Thus, it is considered impossible to state that one of these reporting types is better than the other. The Internet is going to replace the newspaper as the most popular source of news and information in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The advent of the Internet has marked a dramatic shift in the way people around the world consume information. Today, electronic news sources rival the traditional printed newspaper in popularity. It is agreed that the Internet will one day replace the newspaper as the most
used source of news and information. This position will be proven by looking at the advantages of versatility and dynamism the Internet has over traditional printed news. Firstly, electronic news resources ar e much more mobile and convenient than traditional newspapers. Compare the printed and electronic versions of the New York Times, for example. In many countries, the printed version of this paper is not distributed, and thus inaccessible. However, the New York Times¶s website can be accessed from any location with an Internet connection. As this example shows, the accessible audience with which the New York Times connects is widened via the Internet. Thus, it is clear that as time goes on preference for electronic news sources will grow. In addition to this, information distributed through t he Internet can include dynamic content not possible among printed mediums. The Gulf News website, like most news websites, houses entire catalogues of video that users may peruse. This is a resource that paper news sources cannot match. Because of this, it is clear that someday the Internet is going to take the place of the newspaper as the most in demand source of media. After looking at how the Internet betters printed news in the areas of mobility and resourcefulness, it has been proven that electronic news sources will one day be more widely consumed than their printed alternatives. In this brief article, I would like to share the 5 most common mistakes I see in the IELTS essays I correct for students online: Common mistake 1 Ȃ Misunderstanding the instruction portion of the essay question
All IELTS essay questions include a sentence that tells the student precisely what they are expected to do in their written response. Typically, this sentence will include words likediscuss, analyze, argue, support or refute and the student is expected to respond accordingly. Let¶s look at an example IELTS essay question to illustrate. I will highlight the instruction sentence in blue: The Internet is replacing many traditional forms of communication. This brings with it more negative than positive ramifications for humanity. Discuss this and state your opinion. Here, you can see the instruction sentence is directly telling the student how they are expected to formulate a response. The problem many students run into is that they misinterpret what this instruction sentence is really asking them, and this in turn causes the overall relevance of their essay response t o suffer. If you have found this is a problem for you, let¶s go over a few sample instruction sentences and state clearly what they are asking: Discuss
both sides of this argument. (Phrases like this ask students to analyze the opinions of others. Thus, students would be best to follow a discussion essay format and analyze the merits, or lack thereof, of the topic or position presented in their essay question.)
What is your opinion on the subject? (Here, the essay question is asking you to respond directly with your opinion. The most effective way to do this is by responding in an argument essay format.) What is your opinion on the subject? Analyze both sides in your essay. (Now we are being faced with 2 instruction sentences. Here, we would respond in a discussion essay format, sharing our personal opinion at the end.) Do
you agree or disagree? Share personal examples to support your response. (This question instructs the student to include examples from their life while arguing one si de of a particular position. Thus, responding in an argument styled essay would be best.) (If you are unfamiliar with how to properly write an argument or discussion essay, please refer to the videos available here.) Common mistake 2 Ȃ Writing a thesis that does not respond directly to the essay question
In the event you are given an IELTS question that requires a response written in an argument essay style, it is imperative you compose a clear and relevant thesis. Nothing ruins an argument essay faster than a problematic thesis. Don¶t
be afraid to repeat words that appear in your essay question in your thesis . All too often, students try to paraphrase important keywords and phrases fro m their question in their thesis and this typically alters the original meaning to a certain degree. Repeating words from your question will help ensure your examiner sees a direct link between it and your essay. Thus, an essay question that reads:
Do
you agree or disagree that students should be required to study a language in high school? «could be responded to with the thesis: It is agreed that students should be required to study a language in high school. Common mistake 3 Ȃ The use of personal pronouns in essays
Using personal pronouns in your essay (for example: I, you, we, us, our ) will not cause a student to lose marks on their exam. However, overusi ng them causes an essay to sound informal in nature and not very academic. The solution to this is to write passively. So, instead of writing something like: I believe worldwide poverty will one day be eradicated. «try: It is believed poverty will one day be eradicated.
Common mistake 4 Ȃ Using ambiguous examples in your IELTS essay
It is important to remember that when including an example in your IELTS essay, you want to use something that can show your argument in action. This is best done by referring to areal-life event, person, company or place. Thus, a student who writes: For example, G D P growth in China has led to the improving of living standards throughout the country. «is setting the stage for a much stronger argument than a student who writes: For example, income growth among developing countries has the led to the improving of living standards in many areas. As you can see, the second example¶s broadness makes the example seem less tangible and thus lowers its overall quality. Common mistake 5 Ȃ Writing with grammatical accuracy
The last mistake in our list is basic grammatical accuracy. The most common errors I see in the essays I correct are sentence fragments, run-on sentences, improper preposition usage, verb tense issues and mistakes in a student¶s lexical selection. The best tip I can offer those students struggling with nagging grammar issues is to compose your essay entirely of short, concise sentences and to link these sentences with cohesive phrases. Having a writing coach can also be immensely helpful. M ost children spend a lot of time watching television and playing computer games. Should parents limit the time their children spend on such activities?
Most would agree that modern lifestyles involve a barrage of electronic distractions. Unfortunately, children engage these electronic pass-times for extended periods and this can lead to negative outcomes. Thus, it is argued parents should control the quantity of time children commit to idle endeavors, such as television, computer games and the Internet. This will be proven by looking at how engaging these sorts of hobbies for long periods of time can negatively affect a child¶s studies and health. Firstly, children who idle away time in front of electronic toys tend to develop poor study habits. For example, a recent study in Canada revealed a negative correlation between the daily number of hours a high school student spends in front of the television and their marks in school. As this example shows, there is a clear and very obvious relationship between television exposure and academic performance. Thus, it is obvious that parents are best to restrict the amount of time children plug in to these sorts of mediums. In addition to this, a child¶s health can be negatively affected via overexposure to electronic device usage. Take childhood physical development as an example. As most would agree, a child¶s physical development depends directly on their receiving a certain amount of exercise on a daily basis. This amount of exercise simply is not possible if this young person logs several hours in front of a computer every day. As this example shows, a parent¶s control of a child¶s media intake is required for the child¶s well-being.
After analyzing the negative ramifications too must exposure to electronic mediums can have on young people, it has been proven t hat proper parental guidance must include efforts t o ration a child¶s television, computer and Internet exposure. It is hoped this essay helps persuade parents to more involved forms of parenting. In many countries, young children are looked after during the day while their parents go to work. In a sense, they are raised by guardians and not their biological parents. What is your opinion of this family arrangement?
Customs regarding the raising of children vary from on culture to another. In many countries, children are cared for by daytime guardians while their parents work to build careers. It is argued that this form of rearing does not benefit children as much as when they are raised directly by their biological parents. This will be proven by looking at how such a family arrangement causes misguided values and feelings of abandonment among the young people in question. Firstly, parents who choose their professional goals over raising their children run the risk of setting poor examples for their offspring. For instance, children of double-income families are often indirectly taught that money is more important than family unity. These children grow up with unhealthy opinions about the significance of income level and could potentially become adults who judge other human beings based on monetary status. As this reasoning shows, children are best raised by their parents. Secondly, young children regularly separated from their parents may experience feelings of abandonment and this can lead to other problems. For example, it is a proven fact that Canadian children of single, working parents tend not to perform as well in school as their classmates from nuclear familial arrangements boasting a sta y-at-home mother or father. This example shows that there is a clear link between a child¶s academic performance and the level of attention they receive from their parents. Thus, it is clear that young people are not benefited when they are raised by guardians. After analyzing the above points, the merits of regular parental presence can be seen. It has thus been proven that parents should avoid working patterns that are detrimental to the development of their children. It is hoped parents everywhere commit to do what they can to ensure they are the primary guidance-providers of their young ones. Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important that saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
As the world becomes more industrialized and increases in population in the twenty first century, space will also diminish. This has caused, and will continue to cause, a tremendous amount of land to be converted for farmland, housing, commercial and industrial usage thereby destroying the homes of endangered animals. Although humanity must use a certain number of resources to sustain itself, the use of these resources in an irresponsible manner is disagreed with. Ecology Harmony (<±Is this the name of a company? Why is µharmony¶ capitalized?) and conservation for future generations are valid reasons which shall be analysed to s upport this point of view. (<±This outline sentence is awkward. Try: µThis point of view will be proven by analyzing the importance of ecological harmony and the conserving of natural resour ces for future generations.¶)
The world is created (<± µis created¶? It is being created now?) with an ecological balance for the sustainability of our mother earth, all living flora and fauna. (<± What is your point? All I see in this sentence is an incoherent grouping of words about nature. What are you talking about here? Are you trying to say that the planet was created to be shared by all living things? If so, please say this clearly. When I read your writing, I feel like you are trying very hard to sound academic. You don¶t need to do this. Just write simple sentences that communicate your point accurately. If your IE LTS examiner cannot understand what you are saying, it won¶t matter how many academic-sounding words you use, you will receive a disappointing mark.) Therefore human needs must not overtake and destroy the ecology of the earth or else this will result i n natural disaster s. For example, some parts of the world like Hong Kong have become so industrialized that one can only see buildings, housing estates, construction, air pollution and traffic congestion which are detrimental to human health in the long run. (<±OK, Hong Kong is a good example.) As a result of this development , there are limited open spaces, fresh air and natural environment with animals for individuals to enjoy. These industrialized countries have become so artificial ly materialistic, greedy and unhealthy to live in as a result of not saving some space for our precious nature. (<±Where is the link back to your thesis? In this paragraph, are you talking about µsharing nature¶ or are you talking about humanity having a µnatural environment to live in¶? This concluding sentence should read something like: µThus, it is clear that humanity must make use of the res ources it has at hand in a responsible manner to help preserve their purity.¶) Secondly, almost every country has unique animals that belong to a particular habitat. If one does not take care of these habitats, then the unique species can become endangered or possibly extinct forever. It is important that the lives of such God given creatures are kept well and passed onto our future generations to enjoy as these are natural world heritages which no money can buy. For example, if China does not take some serious actions to protect the pandas, then it (<±¶It?¶ There is only one panda?) will eventually become extinct. Can one imagine if the Chinese younger generations can only find and see their very own unique animal in the books and not in real life? It will be totally meaningless! (<±Take these 2 sentences out. You are not writing a high school essay.) The world has already become so commercialized and artificial and therefore, there is an urgent need for humans to ensure that the lives of these endangered animals are treated as a top priority for the future generations. As can be seen, the idea of using the world¶s natural resources in an irresponsible manner cannot be supported. In summary, it is evident that the ecological impact and lives of endangered species must be dealt with seriously and definitely must not be sacrificed at the expense of human needs and greed. Government sectors and environmental organisation must act to ensure that lands are conserved for this purpose (<±For what purpose? µHuman needs and greed?¶) . Last but not least, teachers and parents must make efforts to educate our (<±Please stop using personal pronouns when they are not essential. They make your writing sound like it was written by an adolescent.) younger generations their responsibilities and the importance to protect the ecological harmony for the longevity of the mother earth. Dear
student,
There are still a handful of issues we need to deal with before your writing will become truly effective. Let¶s go over them one at a time.
As you can see above, I had to reword your thesis to make it clearer. Your thesis should show an obvious connection to your question. If it doesn¶t, the Task Achievement portion of your mark will suffer. One thing I don¶t understand is why your thesis is not discussed at the end of each of your supporting paragraphs. I feel there is very little cohesion in your writing, which makes it difficult to follow. Please watch your grammar. If you use a word like µevery¶, it should be followed by a singular noun (in the case above: country). Please review my other changes above. Also, be careful of word forms. µEcology¶ and µecological¶ are different and need to be used in their correct context. Don¶t
use µI, my, our, we, us, you, etc¶ in your essay. It makes your essay sound like it has been written by an middle school student and not an adult.
I¶m sorry if any of this sounds disappointing, but I really feel I need to push you to change. If you submit this kind of writing on your examination you will receive a terrible mark. Good luck in your next attempt, Ryan
y
Several students told me they saw the following question on their General exam in Australia. (Thanks to those students for passing on the info.)
High school aged students should be taught how to manage money. Do you agree or disagree?
Often, people debate whether personal money management is a suitable topic for a high school classroom. However, having an understanding of monetary manipulation is a skill that everyone in the world needs to have at least basic knowledge of. Thus, it is agreed that high school aged students should be taught how to manage money. This will be shown by analyzing how such a course can both instill good business sense in young people as well as prepare them for the working world they face after finishing their education. Firstly, one of the merits of educating students about money matters is that it often fosters business success later in life. For instance, a high school friend of mine was taught how to manage money by his father, who owned and ran a car dealership. Today, this same friend runs a very profitable company, no doubt partly because of the financial information his father bestowed upon him. As this shows, providing young people with information regarding how to handle money is a good thing. In addition to this, teaching adolescents about how to regulate their funds helps to prepare them for independence. For example, during my senior year in high school, I was privileged enough to be enrolled in an accounting course which taught a unit of study entitled µManaging Money¶. I found that the topics covered in this unit were extremely helpful the following year when I moved on to university and out of my parents¶ house. As my
experience shows, teaching young people how to be financially independent can be helpful t o them later in their lives. After looking at how adolescents are benefitted through basic monetary instruction, it has been proven that this course of study is a positive thing. Thus, it is hoped that high school aged students the world over be exposed to some kind of training regarding the handling of money. N owadays we see an increase in social problems involving teenagers. M any people believe that it is because parents spend more time at work and less with their children. Do you agree or disagree?
The nuclear family of today is much different than that of fifty years ago. It is increasingly common for both parents to work, and this is often argued to be the cause of social problems among their teenage children. It is agreed that the social problems adolescents often experience are the direct result of their parents busy work schedules. This will be proven by looking at a Canadian case study of t his phenomenon in action as well as the universal correlation that exists between youth s ocial problems and neglectful parents. Firstly, teenagers of absent parents often do not get the direction they need to develop as socially competent individuals. For example, it has been statistically proven that depressed teenagers in Canada typically interact with their parents less than one hour per day. This example makes it clear that without parental guidance, adolescent people develop social abnormalities. Thus, it is clear that parents need to prioritize more time for their teenage children, even if this means reducing the number of hours th ey work. Secondly, statistics clearly show a link between parental neglect and the numbers of youths afflicted with social problems. For instance, the number of teenagers suffering with anxiety is a figure that moves in tandem with the number of dual-income households. The positive correlation between these trends makes it obvious that parents who work t oo much are acting as a detriment to the mental welfare of their children. It is thus clear that parents need to spend less time working for the sake of their offspring. After analyzing this topic, it can be seen that parents who spend copious amounts of time away from their children cause more harm than good. Thus, it is recommended that the modern family budget time for their developing young people.
P roviding children with pocket money on a weekly basis can benefit them in the future. Do you agree or disagree?
Although sometimes a contested issue, it is argued that providing children with a modest amount of pocket money on a weekly basis is helpful to their development. This will be proven by showing how this practice helps children garner both basic financial skills and a sense of responsibility. Firstly, giving children a small amount of money every week helps their early understanding of financial matters. For example, my friend¶s eight year old son has been given one Canadian dollar every week for the past year. When the practice was first commenced, this
boy would often spend his money frivolously on items of little value. However, as time went on, he came to understand that if he postponed the spending of his dollar his overall wealth accumulated and this allowed him to buy items of greater value. As this example shows, providing children with pocket money every week leads them to have constructive experiences regarding financial issues. Secondly, parents who issue their childr en a minute weekly allowance encourage the development of their child¶s sense of responsibility. For instance, in my own childhood I was given very small amounts of money every week and allowed to spend it freely. I feel having control over the use of these funds was one of the first maj or steps I took in my life towards learning how to become a responsible person. As my personal story shows, providing children with pocket money is a positive thing. After analyzing how giving children a little cash on a weekly basis develops their financial comprehension and level of responsibility, it has been proven that this practice is more positive than negative. Thus, parents are encouraged to consider adopting this regime. C ultural traditions today are often used for money making purposes, especially in the tourism industry. Do you feel this development is more positive or negative?
Today, the traditional cultural practices of many societies have become monetized. Although many may argue this is a negative phenomenon, it is believed that overall this trend tends to be positive in nature. This will be proven by looking at how monetizing cultural traditions helps to both create jobs and bring new audiences to old art forms and ancestral practices. Firstly, the use of cultural traditions provides many of the world¶s unskilled people with a means to support their families. For example, in Kenya tourists often pay to experience Kenyan safaris and traditional fireside dinners and dancing. For the people who organize these tourist attractions, the exploitation of their cultural heritage provides them with honest work and a livelihood they can be proud of. As this example shows, the using of cultural traditions for money making purposes is more of a positive than negative thing. In addition to this, the rejuvenation of old traditions for the purpose of making money brings new life and audiences to cultural practices that may have otherwise been forgotten. For instance, in China many tourists are willing to pay money to take part in the process of tea making. This ancient art form has thus garnered broader interest and a much wider audience. As this makes clear, the reawakening of a tradition is a positive thing and demonstrates why the idea of making money through the use of one¶s culture should be supported. After looking at how the monetizing of ancestral practices both provides jobs and popularizes old art forms, it is felt this trend is much more positive than negative. Thus, it is hoped this phenomenon continues to grow in practice the world over. Ryan¶s note: y
I am unsure how true my Kenyan example is (my apologies if this is indeed inaccurate). I drew this example from a story a friend of mine told me about a vacation he took in Kenya. As you can see, examples don¶t have to be spot on. Of
course, try to make them as accurate as you can but equally important is your ability to choose examples that support your points well.
y
Why do so many people live lives full of stress and pressure? Discuss the reasons and give possible solutions.
In the modern world, living a life rife with stress appears to be a fairly common plight. Although the reasons for this appear to be many in number, it is argued this unfortunate state of existence results from different causes in developed and developing countries respectively. These causes and their suggested solutions will be analyzed in this essay. Firstly, it is argued that much of the stress experienced in developed countries comes as a result of the new economic competitiveness of Asia. Today, Indian and Chinese brands are becoming stronger and rivaling those of their Western counterparts. Although this competitiveness is good for the world¶s economy as a whole, there is no doubt that it is causing increased anxiety and feelings of unease among many Western multinationals as they work hard to maintain their market share. Pressures in the developing world, on the other hand, are thought to be often caused by unrealistic ideals. For example, the Internet has opened the eyes of the world to the affluent living conditions of those in the United States. Although owning a large house and having multiple cars may be plausible for the average American, it simply is not feasible at this time for the average Chinese person. Thus, people living in China who hold their ideal living conditions to the level found in the United States are bound to burden themselves with unnecessary pressure. After analyzing the major causes of stress and pressure in developed and developing countries, it is felt both groups could benefit from relocation. For those in developed countries, travelling to Asia would allow them to become a part of the growth happening there. For people hailing from developing countries, living in the West could make possible their ideal lifestyle aspirations. It is hoped this suggested solution helps to reduce stress and pressure in the world today.
y
In the past, people wore traditional clothes, spoke languages and practiced activities as dictated by their regional culture. These days, the world¶s cultures resemble one another quite closely. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Globalization has brought with it both positive and negative developments. On the positive side, it has encouraged the world¶s people to grow closer together through common culture and language. On the negative side, it has caused the customs of certain people to become forgotten. Despite this, it is argued the merging of the world¶s lifestyles is a beneficial trend. This will be proven by analyzing how common ideology and culture help to reduce both incidences of war and hate crime. Firstly, countries that share common attributes tend to be less likely to engage in war with one another. Europe acts as a good example here. Only one hundred years ago, many
European countries warred with each other over ideological differences. Today, after major movements towards cultural, economical and linguistic unity, t hese same countries are proud to be united under a single heading, the European Union. The now peaceful temperament of Europe acts as good evidence to the benefits that come through the blending of ideologies and cultures. Secondly, the merging of global lifestyles poses a negative correlation to the incidences of hate crimes, and this is a very positive thing. For example, membership to organized hate groups, such as the Klu Klux Klan, has fallen drastically over the last century in North America. This drops occurs simultaneously with the immigration rises that occurred during the same period. Thus, it can be concluded that the mixing of cultures directly reduces hate cri me. After analyzing the manner in which globalization minimizes both the chances of war and crimes motivated by hate, it is concluded that this is a trend that brings positive results to the world. It is hoped the mixing of cultures increases globally into the foreseeable future.
y
In many countries, crime is increasing. What are the main reasons for this? What can be done to improve the situation? Support your position with relevant examples and include your own experience.
Although it is arguably impossible to pinpoint a single cause for the recent rise in global crime, the main culprits are thought to be poverty and political oppression. A commonality between the two appears to be the dissatisfaction of a people. Thus, it is argued that global crime can be reduced through measures that promote public feelings of well-being and security. To prove this, strategies that reduce poverty and oppression will be analyzed. Firstly, encouraging prosperity among poverty-stricken areas can be a very powerful tool when combating crime. For example, a once dangerous area of my hometown in Ottawa has undergone major infrastructural development over the past twenty years. The addition of schools, libraries and quality health facilities led to the establishment of a new economical status for the people who lived there. With the rise of this new affluence came a major fall in crime rates. This clearly shows how tackling the issue of poverty creates inroads against violations of the law. In addition to this, providing people more political freedom can also reduce crime. For instance, over the past ten years China has increasingly allowed critical comment of its ruling party to appear in local newspapers. Despite the fact that this level of freedom pales in comparison with many other countries, it is felt this thawing of political control has done a lot to reduce crime rates across the country. Thus, providing increasing levels of political freedom can be seen as a measure to combat crime.
After analyzing the reduction of poverty and political oppression, it is felt that crime is best tackled by reducing the causes of unrest among people. By following this course of action, major reductions in global crime rates are expected. The quality of life in big cities is worsening. What do you think the reasons are? What can you suggest as a solution?
Today, the world¶s biggest cities continue to swell in size as increasingly more people are choosing to migrate towards an urban lifestyle. Often the drawbacks of this phenomenon include the worsening of the overall quality of life found there. It is proposed that when cities grow rapidly in size their infrastructures often cannot keep up thus causing a noticeable drop in life quality for certain parts of the city. Using the larger cities of China as examples, the effectiveness of migration control and public transit will be analyzed. As the economic hub of China, Shanghai has long tackled the problem of over-migration using strict migration laws, called µhu kou¶. µHu kou¶ dictates a series of restrictions that a migrant must abide to when working or living in a region that is not their own. For example, migrant children who travel to Shanghai with t heir parents do not receive any medical coverage or education funding from the government. As can be expected, the hu kou laws are very effective in keeping Shanghai¶s migration rates down and quality of life up. Thus, migration laws are argued to be an effective solution to the falling lifestyle levels of cities around the world. In addition to this, a comprehensive public transit system can do wonders for a city¶s quality of life. For instance, prior to the Beijing Olympics, congestion was a major problem in China¶s capital. With the construction of new subway and bus lines, Beijing became a much more comfortable place to travel around in. Although at first this may appear to be an insignificant change, to the people that experience Beijing transit everyday this development did a lot for their daily stress levels, and thus can be seen as an effective boost to the quality of life within the city. After analyzing how migration laws and improved transit have helped improve the quality of life experienced in Chinese cities, it is felt these methods could also be effectively applied to other cities in the world. It is expected that life quality in the metropolises of the globe will remain high so long as i nfrastructure maintains pace with growth. Some say that public health is important and there should be more sports facilities. Others say that they have a small impact on individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sports facilities are employed in an effort to promote public health. Despite this noble goal, often the true ramifications of such institutions are thought to be mediocre at best. This essay is going to analyze whether sports facilities contribute positively to communities, or whether they deliver too small an impact to be considered truly beneficial. On the one hand, many proponents argue the general health of a population could suffer if a dedicated facility is not created in a city. For example, in big concentrated cities like Shanghai, there simply is not the space for individuals to exercise safely. Thus, if there were not sports facilities, people simply would not have any means of getting physical exercise. It is for this reason that opinions supporting the construction of athletic resources can be understood.
On the other hand, many individuals would claim sports facilities pose little, if any, real impact on the public. For instance, in addition to the housed sports facilities discussed last paragraph, Shanghai has a tremendous number of smaller public exercise equipment available in parks and residential areas. Although created with the best intentions in mind, these facilities are typically without accompanying instructions outlining how to use them. As a result, they are rarely used at all. In this case, it is obvious why many feel certain sports facilities are ineffective and a large waste of money. After looking at both the arguments of those in support of public sports facilities and those in opposition, it can be concluded that dedicated athletic bodies offer more to a community than they take away and thus should be considered a valuable part of any developing metropolis. It is hoped more recreational athletic resources are created for public use in the future. M any old cities around the world are going through a major process of modernization. What are the advantages and disadvantages of modernization?
Here is my suggested response: A new wave of industrialization has taken the developing world by storm. Among many of these countries, a policy of f ast-tracking has been adopted, often producing mixed results. The advantages and disadvantages of the rapid modernizing of many old cities around the world will be analyzed in this essay. Perhaps the most significant advantage of this process is the raising of living standards. For example, many second tier cities in India have seen a boom in the quality of life found there. Thus, the collective effort being made in India to modernize is also having a positive impact on the lives of Indian people. From this perspective, modernization can be seen as a positive thing. However, despite this advantage, there are also notable disadvantages to fast-tracking development. For one, rapid modernization often involves the destruction of historical relics, buildings and roads. This has been unfortunately true in areas like Anhui, China, where the demolishing of many culturally significant buildings is occurring at a degree akin to that of the Cultural Revolution. Thus, it is clear that there are many disadvantages to this wave of modernization as well. After analyzing the advantages and disadvantages of bringing the cities of the developing world up to speed with those of the developed world, it is felt modernization causes more good than harm. However, it is hoped that caution is employed in the efforts made to renew the old cities of the world. Ryan¶s note: y
This essay question calls for a straightforward argument essay structure. If you are new to essay writing, try to pinpoint the thesis, outlining sentence, examples and restatement of thesis in the following response. To review, watch my video on proper argument essay structure at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3IngQ DdYv4&feature=channel_video_title. Good luck!
Television has changed the quality of life for the ordinary person. Do you agree or disagree?
One of the most globally influential inventions of the twentieth century is the television. The efficiency with which television has made the conveying of information is remarkable. It is argued that television has altered the quality of life for the ordinary person. This will be shown by looking at both how televised images alter the speed with which information is exchanged and how television has caused social r estructuring. Firstly, the invention of television has revolutionized the way humanity shares information with one another. For example, during the Second World War, televised visuals were extremely effective in maintaining a heightened understanding of the situation overseas for Americans and Canadians at home. Because of television, these families were able to more clearly comprehend the difficulties their young men and women were facing and it is argued this was an improvement to the living standards their ancestors experienced during World War I. Secondly, television has fundamentally affected the manner in which people interact with each other. For instance, traditionally a person would congregate with others for entertainment, but with the advent of television this did not need to happen. Thus, television in effect has replaced communal interaction as the main outlet for amus ement among most people. Whether this is for better or worse, it is difficult to argue television has not radically changed the lifestyle of ordinary people. After analyzing how television changed both the way global information is shared and the level to which people interact with each other, it is felt the degree to which television has affected the lives of most human beings is significant. It is believed television has paved the way for new media sources such as the Internet. As posted at ielts-blog.com, here is the essay question students in Egypt and Turkey received. I have written a complete response below it for you to analyze and perhaps emulate. Please notice the way my essay is structured and the cohesive phrases I use to link the ideas together. (If you are new to essay writing, please review my how to structure an essay video tutorial playlist). Please also make note of my thesis, which is two sentences long and somewhat reshapes our essay question to make it easier to respond to. Here is the essay question as it appeared on the exam: C hildren¶s opinions are influenced by their friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? What can parents do to influence their children¶s opinions?
Here is my suggested r esponse: Of all the influences a typical child is faced with while growing up, that provided by their friends is often very difficult for children to decline. However, this advice often comes from inexperienced sources. Thus, it is believed that the advice of a child¶s fri end is too inexperienced to be considered µpositive¶. Alternatively, it is argued healthy parental influence should always come before that of an inexperienced youth. Two methods are suggested in which a parent can maintain an influential role in their child¶s upbringing, namely by being a stable resource of advice and by being open-minded.
Firstly, by acting as a stable role model in a child¶s life, a parent can gain the trust and respect of their children and thus become a person their child listens too. For example, it is a known fact that children who have a stable parent figure guiding them tend to listen to their parents more. Thus, it is clear that stability among parenting can lead parents to become more influential in their children¶s lives. As t his kind of long-term stability is rarely present among a child¶s friends, it is clear parents make the best advisers t o their children. Secondly, parents who are open-minded tend to make it easier for their children to relate to them. Take traditional families, for example. Children living as parts of a traditional family typically have a very difficult time talking to their parents about modern problems for fear their parents would not understand. The closed-mindedness of their parents forces these children to seek the advice they need from others. Thus, among the best ways for parents to remain the most influential source of advice in their child¶s life is t o try to understand the problems today¶s modern child faces. After analyzing the parental practices of stability and open-mindedness, it is clear that the influence of a parent should be considered much more positive than that of a child¶s friends. It is hoped these parenting traits are increasingly seen in the child-raisers of tomorrow.
Finishing
your IELTS essay strong
Your essay¶s conclusion paragraph plays a critical role in your essay. Just as your introduction paragraph needs to provide your reader with a plan for your essay, your conclusion needs to leave your reader cl early understanding your position regarding your essay question. Typically, your essay¶s conclusion paragraph will be written in 3 sentences. The first provides a brief review of the 2 supporting points you brought up earlier, while the second provides a restatement of your thesis using different words. Connecting these 2 sentences is an effective way to begin your conclusion paragraph. Thus, your conclusion paragraph will begin something like this: µAfter analyzing ( insert supporting point 1) and ( insert supporting point 2) , it is clear that ( insert restatement of thesis).¶ Following this, the student needs to conclude their essay. This is best done with a comment of some kind. Normally in my classes, I recommend students finish their essays with a prediction or recommendation: µIt is recommended«¶ µIt is predicted«¶
Effective examples versus ineffective examples on your Task 2 essay? Let me offer an analogy regarding the importance of examples: Examples are to an IE LTS essay as a tent pole is to a tent. In other words, examples are what hold up an argument in an
essay (whether that argument is yours or someone else¶s). Without them, an argument si mply fails to hold much water and is impossible to prove. Thus to succeed on your IELTS Task 2 essay question, you¶ve got to choose effective examples carefully. So what makes a good example good and a bad example bad ? The answer is simple: (1) Good examples are specific. Bad examples are vague. (2) Good examples demonstrate the argument in action. Bad examples show little connection to the argument at all. (3)Good examples are displayed in a manner that does not disrupt the flow of the writer¶s work. Bad examples feel like they have been randomly dropped into the essay. When it comes to choosing an effective IELTS Task 2 essay example, specific is always the goal. Take the following, for example: Don¶t be ambiguous« For instance, mobile phone growth in some countries has been dramatic. Instead try being more specific« For instance, mobile phone growth in China and India has been dramatic. Don¶t write in a manner that will make your IELTS examiner guess at your meaning« Cars are the example. Tell your examiner clearly what the l ink is between the argument you are tryi ng to support and your evidence« Cars play a good example here as they are the largest source of carbon emissions in t he developing eastern world. When correcting essays written by my classroom and online IELTS students, I consistently see essay opening sentences like these: (1) µCulture is a well-known topic around the world.¶(Problem: too ambiguous) (2) µThere are many people in this world who work hard, like my father, for example.¶ (Problem: too specific) (3) µThe Global Economy has helped make the World a safer Place.¶ (Problem: basic grammar) (4) µThe invasion of computers in the classroom has caused student marks to skyrocket.¶ (Problem: amplitude) Let me elaborate on why each of these examples prove to be terrible introductions to your essay: In the first example (1), the student is making a large, overly generalized statement that is somewhat ambiguous and therefore difficult to understand. In a nutshell, this sentence is too broad. The student¶s meaning is probably closer to: It is a well-known fact that the cultures of the world are not uniform. Of course, it¶s a bad sign if your IELTS examiner can¶t understand the first sentence you have written!
The second example (2) depicts a student with the opposite problem: their response is too specific. Giving examples before you¶ve stated your argument is like trying to put on your shoes before you¶ve put on your pants. The third example (3) is a basic grammar issue, in this case capitalization. I¶m always astonished by the number of students who seem to have forgotten when to capitalize their words and when not too. In this example, only µThe¶ should be capitalized. The final example (4) shows a student who is trying to use more complex words in hopes of making themselves sound more academic. The problem is that this alters the amplitude of the sentence and therefore distorts the meaning of th e piece. Saying that student marks have µskyrocketed¶ is an overstatement. µSkyrocketed¶ gives the impression that st udent marks have tripled or perhaps even quadrupled. A statement as outlandish as this would need to be supported with evidence.
How
to respond to IELTS Task 2 µdouble questions¶
I am often asked by IELTS students what they should do in the event their IELTS Task 2 essay directions pose multiple questions. T ake the following example: In ancient Rome, aesthetical beauty was considered one of the main points with which humans judged each other as people. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? What traits do you feel best judge a person¶s quality? These sorts of IELTS questions always seem complicated at first, but t hey really are not. When first analyzing an essay question, it is important to decide on an effective structure with which we can respond. As I recommend to my classroom students: write in argumentative essay style unless explicitly told to do otherwise by your Task 2 question. The reason for this is that: (1) argument essay structure is much more straightforward than discussi on essay structure and therefore (2) lessens the chance of grammatical, wording or structural mistakes that can arise from trying to discuss, compare and contrast 2 subjects or opinions. So our challenge then becomes: how can we respond to the above essay question (or questions in this case) using an argumentative structure? As you have seen in my video regarding argument essay structure, at the heart of our essay is a strong thesis upheld by 2 effective pieces of evidence. What we need to do is fit our response into these sections. So, the first question, do you agree or disagree with this statement, would be responded to in our thesis: It is disagreed that beauty acts as a reasonable marker by which people can assess each other. The second part of the question, what traits do you feel best judge a person, could be responded to in the outline section of our essay: Instead, the qualities of patience and selflessness are felt to be better gauges of a person¶s worth and this argument will be proven in this essay.
