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MY FIRST COLONOSCOPY
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Preamble I was trying to beef up my courage to have a colonoscopy. My doctor had told me I should have one because I was over 50 years old and 9 out of 10 people diagnosed with colon cancer are over 50. I knew the statistics,
colorectal cancer is the second leading cause of cancer deaths (lung cancer is
first) in the United States. Each year about 150,000 Americans are diagnosed with it and 50,000 die. But I had been dragging my feet for several reasons.
First, the obvious, people don't like to have a cable inserted up their butts. This is maybe more so in the case of us guys with all the psycho-sociosexual connotations that this has, and especially even more in my case as I
come from Latin America. Colonoscopies and proctologic examinations are not words you find in a macho man's dictionary. But these "feelings" were irrational. I knew that I should not let them cloud my judgment and that I had to get my head to think in the right gear and overcome this.
Sign up to vote onAccording this title Second, I was concerned about the risks r isks of a colonoscopy. to Useful Not useful some quoted figures, the risk of heavy bleeding is 0.2 to 2.67% (1/1,500 to
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about 4%. (4/100), and three, you need to choose carefully who will do the procedure. In my case the doctors who were going to do mine did this on a regular basis and they had a lot of experience, which greatly decreased my personal risk of any complications.
My third and final reason was the hassle/discomfort factor. I would have to
take laxatives to cleanse my colon, I would have to take time off from work and I would have to coordinate with my wife drive me home.
What finally made me make my decision was the experience of a friend of mine. This person went to the doctor due to difficulty in performing bowel movements. They did a colonoscopy and they found it was colon cancer. It was somewhat advanced but thankfully it was wiped out by the chemo treatment and now my friend is cancer-free. This person was lucky as most
of the time colon cancer in the early stages does not produce any symptoms. I knew that when diagnosed and treated early colorectal cancer is 90% curable, but it took someone else's experience to drive dr ive the point home. Sign up to vote on this title
I signed up for the colonoscopy!
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Preparations What is the first thing a sensible man like me does in preparation for his colonoscopy? I went surfing the net looking for colonoscopy jokes! Hey, I was stressed, I needed some humor, but a word of warning, some of these jokes are tasteless and others not politically correct!
These are actual things said by mostly male patients to their doctors during the procedure.
1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!' 2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?' 3. 'Can you hear me NOW?' 4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?' 5. 'You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.' 6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
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Useful Not useful 7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
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And the best one of all:
13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there? But perhaps the funniest thing I found was the following YouTube video
from an episode of the sitcom "My Wife and Kids" featuring the late singer Lou Rawls and the stand up comedian Damon Wayans (video length 1.33 minutes). http://www.thedocisin.net/?p=13370
Of course, the internet is not only for fun and games, there are educational
videos about colonoscopies and what to expect (video length 10.09 minutes) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKfMx06hg7E
As well as videos about what a normal colonoscopy should look like (video length 2.52 minutes). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kg5wZQfADQ
a Anchor Katie Couric, whose husband died of colon cancer, underwent Sign up to vote on this title useful Useful about Notthis colonoscopy on the air in 2000 to increase awareness procedure.
In the following video she guides Early Show anchor Harry Smith through
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But let's get back to me. m e. I scheduled my colonoscopy for 8:45 AM and received a set of instructions. The day before my procedure I could have 2 eggs and white toast with seedless jelly for breakfast but no dairy products. However I could have no lunch or dinner. Instead I could drink fluids like tea, apple or white grape juice, chicken or vegetable consommé (clear
broth), or I could eat yellow or green Jell-O. What they don't want you to do is eat solid food or anything with a strong color approaching red that could be misinterpreted as blood during your exam. I employed the energy from the breakfast to shovel my car out from under the snow in the morning, but then I took it easy for the rest of the day.
I began my "cleansing" at 5 PM taking 2 tablets of a laxative called Dulcolax and 1 hour later I begun taking the heavy stuff, a total of 5 doses every 20 minutes, each made up of 2 cups of the laxative Miralax dissolved in 8 ounces of the drink Gatorade (lemon: yellow color). I had feared that I would be nauseous and had even purchased some anti-nausea medicine, but the stuff just tasted like the Gatorade and I had no problems. My trips to the the potty began about 1-2 hours after the first doseSign andupcontinued late into to vote on this title
Useful Not usefulbut I felt night. I had been concerned about feeling dizziness or weakness
neither. After several "sittings" I said to my family, "Hey look, I'm not full
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C-day
My wife dropped me at the clinic where I had to sign a handful of forms and then I was escorted to a locker room where I had to put on one of those
hospital gowns that I have never figured f igured how to tie up in the rear. r ear. So holding the back of my gown closed with my hand to avoid mooning anyone, I walked over to the preparation room. Here I was asked to lie on a bed and a nice nurse got me ready inserting a cannula into a vein in my arm (an iv drip) and hooking me up to several monitors that began spitting out data about my hearth function, blood pressure and level of blood oxygenation. My bed was then rolled over to the procedure room.
Once there the anesthesiologist went over the whole thing with me. They would anesthetize me for the procedure. Some doctors don't do this and
some patients request to be awake or mildly sedated, but for the colonoscopy the doctors have to pump air into the colon to inflate it and this can be painful. Looking to my right I was able to see "the tube", the colonoscope,
Signnumbers up to vote on title and I started laughing. The thing had marks m arks with atthis regular Useful Not useful intervals like a dipstick. The anesthesiologist explained that those marks
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spoof video with Lou Rawls that I mentioned before and to my surprise he said he had! Then it was time to get started. The T he anesthesiologist started injecting some white fluid into me through the iv drip. I remember saying, feel funny." and next thing I knew I woke up in the recovery room where through my anesthetic-induced haze I heard the nice nurse say that I should
try to pass some gas. "Huh, say what?" I replied. She explained it was to get rid of the air they used to inflate my colon. I said, "Yeah, sure."
After I was not drowsy anymore the doctor came over and showed me pictures of my colon. He said everything was normal except for a small polyp that he removed for analysis and that I should call him in 2 weeks to get those results. When I was awake enough to walk I got dressed and my wife drove me home. I took it easy for the rest of the day and apart from some flecks of blood after a bowel movement and some mild intestinal
discomfort I had no other problems. After two weeks I contacted the doctor who said the polyp and other random biopsies that they took had been normal. I am now happy to report that I am back to eating and "uneating" normally and regularly.
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And that was it! The "feared" colonoscopy was no big deal after all. For all
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The image from the National Cancer Institute is in the public domain. Other web-sites
Colonoscopy risks: http://coloncancer.about.com/od/screening/a/Col http://coloncancer.abou t.com/od/screening/a/ColonoscopyRisk.htm onoscopyRisk.htm
Colorectal cancer risks: http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/colorectal/statistics/age.htm
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