Section 2

Tantric Sextasy

*5 Sexually Decadent Days of Orgasmic Mastery*

Table of Contents Table of Contents................................................................................ii Important Notes................................................................................ iv All Rights Reserved ........................................................................ iv For Educational Purposes Only ....................................................... v DAY 2 Private Session: How to Achieve Your Orgasm Goals One BodyWracking SEXERCISE at a Time…...................................................... 7 Chapter 3: Tantra is Mental, Emotional and Spiritual Sex ..................8 Tantric Sex – Closer, Wider, Deeper, Higher, Longer… ...................8 What is Spiritual Sex? ................................................................................................................9 SEX = Subtle Energy eXchange ...............................................................................................10 Tantric Sex - Pleasure More Than You Ever Imagined It to Be ...............................................11 Performance Anxiety Be Gone! ................................................................................................ 13 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Sex and Ecstasy ......................................................................... 14 Ecstatic Orgasms Await You….................................................................................................. 15 What are Your Orgasm Goals? ................................................................................................. 16 Stop Blocking the Flow of Orgasmic Energy............................................................................ 16 Heighten Your Senses, Feel Your Feelings, Enjoy Your Pleasure With No Agenda ............... 17 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Your Sex Life.............................................................................. 18 PARTNER SEXERCISE: Spiritual Sex..................................................................................... 18

Intimacy –When Body and Soul Mingle in Poetry..........................20 Spiritual Sex Is Heart-Centered .............................................................................................. 20 Intimacy – A Mega Turn-On for Women! ............................................................................... 21 Let’s Talk Sex ............................................................................................................................22 Cross the Sexual Communication Frontier..............................................................................23 PARTNER SEXERCISE: Sexual Communication ...................................................................23 The Single Biggest TURN OFF to Sex ......................................................................................27 Don’t Sabotage Your Own Chances of Sexual Ecstasy............................................................ 28 Fact: You Are 100% Responsible for Your Sexual Pleasures...................................................29 Take Responsibility for Your Own Turn-Ons! ........................................................................ 30 PARTNER SEXERCISE: How to Love Me............................................................................... 31

How to Tap Your ‘Inner Gender’.................................................... 35 Treat Yourselves as God and Goddess .....................................................................................35 What's The Gender of Your Inner Being? ................................................................................36 Tantric Sex and Carl Jung ........................................................................................................36 When Yin & Yang Unite............................................................................................................37 Cultivate Your Inner Gender ................................................................................................... 38 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Inner Genders........................................................................... 38

Blend Male and Female Sexual Energies for the Most Erotic Orgasms ........................................................................................38 Spiritual Sex is True Alchemy ..................................................................................................39 The Big Sexual Secret Lies in Role Reversal ........................................................................... 40 Dancing Between Shiva & Shakti ............................................................................................ 40 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Giving & Receiving .................................................................... 41 Prepare to Give and Receive Mind-Blowing Sexual Pleasure ................................................. 41 Your Chance to Play Out Sexual Fantasies! .............................................................................42 PARTNER SEXERCISE: The Shiva-Shakti Game (The Most Erotic Ways to Give & Receive Sexual Pleasure) .......................................................................................................................43

Sexual Healing – Learn to Prioritize Pleasure in Your Life............46 Sex First! ...................................................................................................................................47 Are You Getting Enough Sexual Touch? ................................................................................. 48 Sexual Healing via Erotic Touching ........................................................................................ 48 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Erotic Touch ............................................................................. 49

© 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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What's In The Way Of Your Immovable Object?.................................................................... 49 Any of these Sexual Frustrations Sound Familiar? ................................................................ 50 Liquid Mind, Liquid Body, Better Sex ..................................................................................... 51 Where Does Sexual Resistance Come From? .......................................................................... 51 Negative Energy = Diminished Sexual Energy = Poor Sexual Pleasure .................................52 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Breaking Sexual Resistance ......................................................53 Tantric Sextasy Will Help Heal Your Sexual Roadblocks........................................................54 Let's Melt Some of that Sexual Resistance Right Now! ...........................................................54 ‘Resisting Resistance’ Syndrome..............................................................................................55 PARTNER SEXERCISE: Sexual Body Discovery ....................................................................56

Tantric Ecstasy Awaits You…......................................................... 58 The Four Cornerstones of Sexual Bliss ....................................................................................58 Tantric Movement – Squeeze and Hold, Squeeze and Hold, Squeeze….................................59 Unleash the Tantric Wizard Within ........................................................................................ 60 A Checklist of Tantric Sextasy Principles.................................................................................62 A Tantric Send Off ....................................................................................................................63

Chapter 4: Your Tantric Sacred Space .............................................. 65 What is the Tantric Sextasy Ritual? ............................................... 65 The Six (6) Tantric Sextasy Ritual Stages ................................................................................65 Create the Right Sexual Environment .....................................................................................67

Tantric Sex & Sacred Sexuality ...................................................... 67 Why Do We Call Tantra Spiritual Sex? ................................................................................... 68 Sex as the Greatest Teacher..................................................................................................... 68 No Need to Go to ‘Tantra Church’ for Great Sex! ................................................................... 69 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Sacred Sexuality ........................................................................70

How to Establish the Right Tantric Mood ...................................... 70 Prepare Before You ‘Go For It’ .................................................................................................70 Free Your Mind and Orgasmic Energy Will Follow................................................................. 71 Tantric Ritual Bathing ..............................................................................................................72 PARTNER SEXERCISE: Ritual Bathing..................................................................................72 Are You What You Wear?.........................................................................................................74 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Tantric Clothing ........................................................................ 75 SOLO SEXERCISE: Tantric Dressing ...................................................................................... 75 Create a Tantric Sex Altar......................................................................................................... 77 SOLO SEXERCISE: Set Up a Tantric Altar..............................................................................78

How to Create a Tantric Sacred Space .......................................... 80 Use Music to enhance Your Sexual Mood................................................................................ 81 SOLO SEXERCISE: Bedroom Makeover Time! ...................................................................... 81 Go Back to Center .................................................................................................................... 83 Grounding 101 ......................................................................................................................... 84 SOLO SEXERCISE: How to Practice Grounding ....................................................................85 Cleanse the Energy of Your Scared Space............................................................................... 86 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Tantric Sacred Space .................................................................87 The 4 + 2 Directions .................................................................................................................87 The Ancient Medicine Wheel .................................................................................................. 88 Invite the Forces of Nature Into Your Space .......................................................................... 89 SOLO SEXERCISE: Tapping the 4 + 2 Directions ................................................................. 90 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: 4 + 2 directions..........................................................................93 SOLO SEXERCISE: Create Your Tantric Sacred Space ..........................................................93 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Creating Your Tantric Sacred Space .........................................95

Choose Your Mood, Boost Your SEXcstasy .................................... 95 Day 2 – Tantric Sextasy Private Session – Closing ............................ 97


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Important Notes All Rights Reserved Bona-fide purchasers of this e-course may print one copy of this document for personal use. You can also read it as many times as you want on screen. However, it is NOT legal to store, reproduce, forward, email, or transmit this publication or any part of it in any form or by any electronic, physical, or mechanical means including photocopying, recording, or introduction into any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the copyright owner and the publishers of this e-course. What you CAN use - in fact we want you to use them – are brief quotations in reviews prepared for inclusion in a magazine, newspaper, or broadcast.


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For Educational Purposes Only We need to make a few boundaries perfectly clear before you dive into the secrets, tips and tricks that make up Tantric Sextasy. Bear with us before your Tantric sex exploration starts! The material in this e-course is for educational purposes and is intended to provide helpful guidance to lovers about human sexuality. We’ve made every attempt to provide accurate, dependable, up-to-date information and we believe that what's presented here is helpful and poses no risk to any healthy person. This 5-part e-course is sold with the understanding that neither the authors nor the publishers are engaged in rendering medical, nor any other professional service. If you have questions concerning the application of the material and advice described in this e-course and its affect on your health and well-being, it is your responsibility to consult a qualified professional first. Any use of the techniques used in this e-course is at your own risk. This e-course is not intended to serve as medical treatment, psychological counseling, psychotherapy, or any other services best performed by a health professional. No part of this e-course should be used as a means of self-treatment or as a viable substitute to or for medical evaluation by a physician. If you suspect you have a condition requiring such treatment, we encourage you to seek professional help before engaging in the practices included. Absolutely no part of the program should cause pain or unusual symptoms. Should such arise during or after doing the practices within, the affected party is advised to seek medical evaluation to identify possible causes. If you have knowledge of or a suspicion that you have contracted a sexually transmitted disease, you are urged to consult with a qualified health professional before engaging in any PARTNER SEXERCISES described in this e-course. Detailed guidelines about safer and smarter conscious sex are included at the end. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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The authors and publishers cannot be held responsible for any error, omission, professional disagreement, or outdated material in this e-course. The authors and publishers are not liable for any upsetting reaction, divorce, damage, injury, infection, fatal disease, or other adverse outcome as a result of applying the information or engaging in any activities suggested in this e-course. Well, there it is. All the stuff we have to swear off due to the high levels of conflict in our modern world. Now that you've suffered through all this legal stuff, let the Tantric sexuality secrets that will change your lives forever unfold now!


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*5 Sexually Decadent Days of Orgasmic Mastery *

DAY 2 Private Session: How to Achieve Your Orgasm Goals One Body-Wracking SEXERCISE at a Time… The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

On Day 2 of Tantric Sextasy, you’ll learn that your ‘current mind goals’ are actually blocking your capacity to achieve better orgasms. Today, you’ll go through various practical sexercises to unlearn old sexual habits, and learn new, hotter, better, more erotic, more longer-lasting ones. Chapter 3: Tantra is Mental, Emotional and Spiritual Sex In this chapter, learn how Tantric Spiritual Sex is MORE than anything you've experienced. You’ll discover the importance of acknowledging that you – and only you – are fully responsible for yourself and your pleasure through honesty, intimacy, and communication. This chapter also teaches you to verbalize what you really what in bed and moreover, how to teach your lover how you want to be loved in bed! A key element in this Chapter is finding out that we all poses both masculine and feminine gender roles within us and how exactly to use this knowledge to your sexual benefit. Lastly, you’ll discover the foundation for the Tantric Sextasy Ritual practices, which are the basis for your Tantric Lovemaking. Chapter 4: Your Tantric Sacred Space In this chapter, you’ll begin to understand the six stages of the Tantric Sextasy Ritual. You’ll have a deeper appreciation why Tantric Sextasy is Spiritual Sex and know how to create a Tantric Sacred Space, the first stage of the Tantric Sextasy Ritual. Let’s start your Tantric journey for the day!


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Chapter 3: Tantra is Mental, Emotional and Spiritual Sex Tantric Sex – Closer, Wider, Deeper, Higher, Longer… Now that you're fully immersed in the Tantric Attitude represented by YES-BE, as the song says, let's get physical. Yes, this ecourse is about sex, Spiritual Sex to be more specific, which you realize means special, sacred, and tantric. That's why we started with Tantra so you could appreciate how what we offer is different from humping and getting off. Many people are drawn to Tantra to transform their sex lives. So in this chapter we'll first explain how Spiritual Sex is different. If you're into philosophy, you might say it's the material manifestation of the Tantric Attitude. Chapter

3

introduces

a

fundamental

theme

of

all

Tantric

practice,

communication. It's the key to intimacy, personal responsibility, and empowerment in Tantric Sextasy. Oh boy, do we have some fun things for you to practice with in that arena. With this foundation, we'll explain Tantric Sextasy's approach to the war of the sexes, which is no war at all. One way to define Tantric Sextasy is to call it the divine merger of masculine and feminine energies. We bet you're good at one of them but before we're done with you, you'll be able to use both to great advantage.


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Spiritual Sex is all about sexual energy, that rising energy that precedes and fuels orgasm. When it's blocked, lovers need sexual healing. That's where this chapter ends, with an introduction. We'll give you more than enough to practice here so you'll be preparing for next steps after you master the Tantric Sextasy Ritual. If you choose, Tantric Sextasy has nearly limitless applications for your sex, love, and life. Another reminder, true transformation occurs through practice. So as you're moving through this and all the other chapters, when you come to a practice, read it all the way through, and then stop to do it.

What is Spiritual Sex? In addition to rejoicing in our artistic, creative, and spiritual characteristics, Tantrikas (Tantra adepts) practice the revelation that humans are fundamentally sexual beings. We honor sex as a celebration of life and a desire to merge our souls with each other. This is a direct outgrowth of the Tantric Attitude. Tantrikas connect lust, love, and life force by making love on multiple levels. Tantric Sextasy is Spiritual Sex because we merge all our energies inside by connecting the sex, heart, and spirit chakras (the energy centers up and down the body aligned with the spine), and share each with our lover. All too often, modern lovemaking starts with a quick build up and ends with an equally quick release of sexual tension, at least for guys. Not so in Tantric Sextasy. Spiritual Sex uses the same body parts and physical actions, but unfolds much differently than the average quickie hurtling downhill to explosive release. We're not against quickies; we love them when the time is right. We just want you to have a vast repertoire of sexual alternatives. No boredom here.


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Spiritual Sex and sacred sexuality are all about being aware in the moment, relaxing, opening your senses, and surrendering to the subtle waves of pleasurable orgasmic energy, which become more and more resounding as you welcome them. SEX = Subtle Energy eXchange Spiritual S.E.X. means Subtle Energy eXchange as in any touching or moving together that connects lovers' inner vibrations. Releasing tension and giving in to the urge to come gets replaced with continuous streaming vibrations of intense ecstatic energy that ebb and flow. When we enter the altered state of consciousness that comes with orgasm after orgasm, the O-Zone, we simply float on a cloud of bliss together. These feelings often last more than 24 hours.

Spiritual S.E.X. is slow, spontaneous, and conscious. It's open, intimate, and mutual. Sex this way is more leisurely, savoring every delicious morsel of pleasure, instead of rushing headlong towards maximum turn-on as quickly as possible. Tantric lovers move slowly, stopping frequently to settle deeply into the rising tide of pleasure, stretching the experience and the ecstasy out for extended periods. And, yes, there are times when it's hard and fast. There are different waves to this ocean of pleasure. True, Spiritual Sex is a kind of worship, prayer, and cosmic experience. We often describe it as sexual meditation. Tantrikas who cultivate the continuous state of inner orgasm find themselves drawn to this meditative state naturally.

That's why Tantric Lovemaking begins with a ritual, to prepare the mind and body for complete relaxation. We enter Tantric practice without goals or expectations, surrendering to whatever unfolds. All of this creates the nonresistant mood in which we can consciously summon energy to fill our entire bodies and flow through us from head to toe. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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We might say the Tantric motto is: empty the mind and let sex become a timeless meditation in a state of bliss. Tantric Sex - Pleasure More Than You Ever Imagined It to Be When you seek pleasure, accept yourself, say "Yes," and discover who you really are, you'll undoubtedly find and celebrate your sexual self. You are a sexual being who came from the sexual act and is drawn towards it naturally. It's intrinsic, healthy, and damn good fun. Tantrikas totally immerse themselves in all aspects of life they're attracted to. Consequently, they study and learn techniques to make their sex lives more than it's ever been. This is how you can use Tantra to create more spiritual fuel. Sexual play is where the power comes from that energizes the personal changes you're seeking. Things like how to be happier, more loving, more productive, more creative, more healthy. The average lover's pleasure is constrained by a certain amount of embarrassment about their body. They're often overly shy about asserting themselves and going after what they want, based on a limited understanding of the arousal pathways and orgasmic triggers of their own and their lovers' bodies. We're not trying to invalidate what you've learned that works well and feels so good. We're just saying that there's so much more than the average person has ever imagined. By sexual techniques we're talking about how to touch, kiss, and lick all parts of your partner's body. We mean how to give your lover's jewels (genitals) more excitement than ever before each time you make love. And receive great pleasure while you're doing it. We're referring to guiding the ebb and flow of who does what to whom and for how long to reach higher and higher states of ecstasy. Tantric Sex is Spiritual Sex. It's more like sensuously sipping an expensive Cabernet than chugging a six-pack of brew. It more closely resembles sampling the delicacies at a gourmet buffet than inhaling a pepperoni pizza during Monday © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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Night Football. It's certainly a lot closer to a twilight stroll through a perfumed garden under a full moon with your lover on your arm than running a hundredyard dash. Through Tantric Sextasy, our sex becomes: Closer, Wider, Deeper, Higher, Longer, or just simply, More! Closer Spiritual Sex is more intimate, with more communication, and more cooperative. It's not a performance, it's a partnership. Both lovers are creating mutual pleasure together, like kids playing doctor for the first time. Wider Tantric Sextasy is first and foremost about consciousness, which widens the sexual playing field. When you study your sexual preferences, you find more erogenous zones. When you convert to a sex-positive mindset, you can absorb more and more pleasure. When you accept your body more, you become more responsible for your own pleasure. Maybe you'll find yourself enjoying things you wouldn't even try before like finger sex, slower sex, oral sex, or anal sex just to mention a few. When you approach sex consciously, you discover more of what you like, when, and how. Deeper Tantrikas learn to get out of their heads and into their bodies so they feel more. This makes their sexual experiences deeper. They become more aware of sexual energy, more able to summon passion at will, more likely to connect at more levels. When they tune into the subtler, higher, finer frequencies of Spiritual Sex, they unleash powerful spiritual forces. That's why we call S.E.X., Subtle Energy eXchange.


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Higher Closer, wide, and deeper sex yields more ecstasy with more intensity. When you open your senses to full enjoyment of pleasure and drop your expectations, agendas, and goals about sex, you naturally soar higher and higher. Instead of focusing on getting or giving that Big O, you let better orgasms come to you. Both men and women discover new peaks, climaxes, and ecstatic experiences, expanding their orgasmic range. Ultimately, Spiritual Sex becomes meditation when you both float together, lost in the Orgasm Zone. Longer Many people define Spiritual Sex as ‘slow sex’. Well, sometimes that's true. And sometimes not. What we can vouch for is that Spiritual Sex takes more time and lasts longer, which is wonderful as this means spending more hours generating, absorbing, and exchanging more life-giving energy. More With all this going for you, you'll definitely beat the national average for committed couples having sex just once or twice a week for ten minutes. You'll get more sex because you'll want more sex more often. It will make you feel more alive, more vibrant, healthier, more peaceful. When your sexual encounters leave you feeling excited, energized, and empowered, you'll make more time for it. When your sexual play becomes closer, wider, deeper, higher, and longer, you'll find your whole outlook on life becoming more positive, upbeat, balanced, evolved. Then you'll know the true outcome of Tantric practice. Performance Anxiety Be Gone! Due to the fact that Tantrikas enter into Spiritual Sex without expectations, performance anxiety disappears. Are you familiar with that common mental


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refrain "Am I doing it right?" or the verbal one, "Did you come yet?" Men worry about their erections. Women worry about their orgasms. My, my, we all have our worries, don't we? When sex becomes a conscious dance of kundalini energy, any mystery about what's happening with your partner disappears. If you can imagine synchronized swimming with telepathic communication, you'll get some sense of what Spiritual Sex looks like. But lots more fun. From the moment you begin to change the energy of the space around you, you are being sexual. You are using sexual orgasmic energy. The instant your eyes meet those of your lover, you feel tingly inside. The first touch is electric, sending chills and shivers throughout your being. As you honor your lover and offer thanks for being with you at this time, tears may spring to your eyes. You may feel a strong stirring in your yoni or vajra (Tantric for vagina and penis) long before you take your clothes off. We urge you not to miss a single tingle, a tiny shiver, or the subtlest energy surge. This is surely as much sex as anything else you'll ever do. It's also an essential prerequisite to arouse the God/Goddess in your lover. In a later chapter we talk specifically about what this looks like during lovemaking with full sexual union (intercourse). DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Sex and Ecstasy Here are some questions to reflect on, journal, or talk about with your lover. • • • •

Describe a typical sexual encounter between you and your lover/ What parts of Spiritual Sex intrigue you? If your sex were more tantric, what do you think it would be like? What would be different? What gets your sexual energy flowing? What makes you feel it most?


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Ecstatic Orgasms Await You… Tantrikas celebrate sexuality as the ultimate divine gift. With Tantric practice, sex feels beyond words, once you learn to move out of your mind and into your body fully. Dropping quickly into a state of ecstasy is what Tantric Sextasy is all about. We call it supreme bliss. When your body and your spirit are in tune, ecstasy is the experience, beyond sensation. Ecstasy is the feeling of floating in a no-mind condition with your body tingling and waves of orgasmic energy flowing through you. That's why we say Spiritual Sex is more meditation than athletics. Tantrikas become better lovers through conscious practice. By expanding your practice with "sex techniques" you continue to push forward in your own growth. You'll find your blocks, breathe through them, and perhaps most importantly get a clear picture of who you are sexually and spiritually. You'll also know exactly what you like, what you want or prefer in sex as well as in your relationship.

As your experience deepens, you open to new levels of intimate communion. Through the pursuit of pleasure, you release the issues in the tissues that have limited your enjoyment. As a result, both male and female erections become stronger (more about female erections later when we get into the G-Spot), you make love longer, and you experience more powerful and prolonged orgasms. Even greater than all of this, you'll experience ecstatic Tantric Orgasms that take you to greater realms than "normal sex”.


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What are Your Orgasm Goals? Learning the full appreciation of sex teaches you to delight in your bodies and welcome pleasure. You explore erotic play fully and comprehensively, immersing yourselves fully just like you do with every other part of life. Lovemaking in Tantric Sextasy is all about feeling pleasure intensely for as long as possible. It's about building, containing, and circulating sexual energy. It's about letting your innate electromagnetism unfold and expand, not trying to make something happen. Remember, these are natural feelings we were all born with. When you focus on orgasm, you are concentrating on a goal in the future which takes you out of the moment. You miss what you're feeling in large measure. You miss the delicious energies building inside you now. If you're continuously comparing your lovemaking to some imagined mental picture, you can't fully appreciate, nor can you fully feel, what you're sensing in the present. Pleasure is now, orgasms come when they come. And they will come (double meaning intended). You've carried the burden of performance long enough. Don't worry about making your honey climax. Your sweetheart is a fully empowered sexual being who will discover, communicate, and take full responsibility for pleasure, too. Your job is to support, not to control. Relax and enjoy. Relax your body and mind. Choose the conscious choice of surrender. Allow yourself to melt into your bodily sensations. Let go and allow yourself to love. Feel ecstasy and experience yourself as whole. There is no other place to go. You are here. Your life is not a rehearsal. Stop Blocking the Flow of Orgasmic Energy The natural tension of pushing for what you really want serves as a useful motivator for some people. But any kind of tension blocks the flow of subtle © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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orgasmic energy, the powerful force at the root of Tantric Sextasy's transformative processes. It's distracting enough to be thinking about your own climax or trying to prevent it too soon. When your mind is also intent on your partner's climb to orgasm, you can get dragged

down

performance

by

anxiety.

a

severe This

can

case

of

happen

whether you're male or female. Instead of focusing on feeling good, you spend your energy worrying about how well you're both doing. Guess what happens to your turn-on? In lovemaking of all kinds, we release agendas, pictures, humdrum patterns, and our mind's idea of what sex should look like. It's all divine play and it's all good, all the time. In this kind of play, there is no "fore," nor is there a "main" act. We release our ego needs for success through climax, ours or our partners. Since we've released all goals of giving or receiving orgasm, anything may happen as the mood strikes us. That doesn't mean orgasm is unwelcome or avoided. And it doesn't mean that climaxes aren't incredibly spectacular in Spiritual Sex. The many varieties of orgasm we experience are downright amazing when they overtake us. (More about this in the Tantric Lovemaking Chapter – Day 5.) It just means we allow them to happen of their own accord. Heighten Your Senses, Feel Your Feelings, Enjoy Your Pleasure With No Agenda All this thinking and worrying takes you out of your body and into your mind. By ignoring your own sensory input in the moment, you severely limit your own ability to run sexual energy throughout your body and experience waves of orgasmic bliss. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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We have found that merely focusing on your breathing is a quick and sure way to get you back into your body. You've already had some exposure to this fundamental Tantric tool, but a lot more awaits you in the Energizing Turn-On Chapter (Day 4). When you're trying to recreate an earlier ecstatic experience, expecting to go longer than last time, or have a bigger explosion this time, you're taking yourself out of the experience you want to expand. All too often having expectations just create frustrations and anxiety. So the sexual practice of Tantric Sextasy guides you to shift from orgasm as your goal to continuously enjoying the pleasures of orgasmic energy for as long as you choose. To repeat, when ecstatic states are where you play, orgasms become secondary. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Your Sex Life Here are some questions to reflect on, write about in your Sexploration Journal, or talk about. • • •

•

How present are you during sex? How much do you focus on giving or getting the Big O (orgasm)? What do you believe is a good lover's responsibility toward their own pleasure? Toward their partner's pleasure? Do you and your partner agree on this one? Describe a peak ecstatic sexual experience. Do you try to recreate it?

PARTNER SEXERCISE: Spiritual Sex Description To truly practice the ultimate in Spiritual Sex, you need to embrace and practice everything in this e-course. But already you understand the Tantric Attitude of YES-BE and the fundamentals of Spiritual Sex. So we want to give you an opportunity to put these concepts into action in your lovemaking right away. Purpose


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To begin incorporating the unique qualities of Spiritual Sex into your lovemaking right away. 1. Establish your own sex ritual. The next time you make love, make it more of a ritual. Bathe or shower together first. Clean and decorate your bedroom. Use candles, incense, music, or whatever turns you on. 2. No expectations. Don't make a plan for this encounter. Simply agree that you'll have fun, exchange pleasure, and see what happens. 3. Touch each other tantrically. Look into each other's eyes, exchange sweet words of love, kiss long and sensuously. Touch each other all over slowly and gently. Exchange whatever lovemaking gets you each turned on. 4. Amplify sexual energy. Focus your attention on your body and the sensations growing and shifting inside. Breathe deep, move sensually, and make love sounds. When you feel energy moving, dwell on it and amplify it. 5. Savor sensations. Instead of rushing for the maximum excitement as soon as possible, take your time. Savor each delicious sensation. There's no destination. See how long you can stretch out each touch, lick, tickle, and stroke. 6. Practice peaking. Enjoy whatever sexual activities you want, from fingers, lips, and tongues to vajra and yoni. But instead of pushing for orgasm, practice peaking, seeing how close you can hover without exploding. When one of you reaches a pinnacle of excitement, both relax and feel. Watch your own arousal and guide your honey so you can both enjoy at least three peaks of pleasure. 7. Just go for it! After extending your pleasure as long as you choose, enjoy one or more orgasms if you want. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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8. Relax and reflect. Don't just rush off to other things after your ritual. Relax and reflect on how good you each feel. Did you learn anything you'd like to share? Journal your experiences with pride; noticing and accepting any resistance that comes up. End with a bow, kiss, hug, and heartfelt acknowledgment of each other.

Intimacy –When Body and Soul Mingle in Poetry Spiritual Sex Is Heart-Centered To bring about inner peace and harmony, the Eastern masters teach us to seek our inner core of truth centered in our heart. As we grow in consciousness and self-love, our hearts unfold and we share more of ourselves with others. We communicate more openly and authentically about what's really important. Naturally, our desire and capacity to love increases. Spiritual Sex is heart-centered. Yes, it's about being in your body and feeling pleasure. But it's the sharing that really counts. It's about being more sensitive to yourself and your partner's feelings. That's why we describe Spiritual Sex as being more centered in your heart, your whirlpool of love, than rooted in your jewels. Heart-centered lovers are motivated by what's good for their lovers as well as themselves. A good share of their joy comes from caring about others. They develop the instinctive energies of the heart: compassion, gratitude, and giving thanks. Though the foundations of Tantric Sextasy begin with solo sexercises, many join this path with a partner to enhance their love. With consciousness and selfacceptance, we discover what a strong teacher a relationship is. We tend to see the cup half-full instead of half-empty and focus on the redeeming qualities about otherwise dysfunctional situations. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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Operating with your heart as your center of focus tremendously expands your potential for intimacy. Let's look into that next. Intimacy – A Mega Turn-On for Women! For most women, intimacy heightens their turn-on when a guy learns how to talk about his feelings with honesty and heartfelt expression instead of blame or judgment. Blaming and judging can not only diminish intimacy, it can mess up your sex life miserably. Men's intimacy expands when women open up and assert their truth without blame. Of course, women simply love words of affection and adoration. Subsequently, the Goddess in every woman loves and desires a man who can use words to describe his feelings. She puts more stock in words than the average male. She knows in her heart that intimacy is "in to me you see." Self revelation can work wonders. Guys love intimacy as well, although many seem content with sexual intimacy initially. Emotional intimacy is something to grow into together. Intimacy can also be about sharing fantasies and playing them out. Often the fantasies lurking inside are pretty kinky so we may feel uncomfortable sharing them with our lover. Moving past this inhibition can be exciting on multiple levels. The truth-telling is a turn-on because of the increased sense of closeness and acceptance. Plus the content of most any fantasy can really get your sexual motor going big time even if you never seriously consider playing it out. Intimacy is based on trust. Trust has its foundation in truth; being honest with yourself and with your lover in enhancing ways to promote the deepening of your love and connection. Intimacy isn't always pleasant, but the long term results can't be denied. You both grow, expand, trust and love more fully while sex becomes hotter and more energetic. Intimacy is the tool to open your emotional channels, feel great about who you are and have the courage to play at the highest realms of sacred sexuality.


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Let’s Talk Sex Connecting is about communicating awareness. You can create intimate connection by physically touching and holding hands. It can be a psychic process, simply with the focus of your mind and your intention. Certainly, you can use words to bridge the distance between you. Growing up without the Tantric Attitude makes sexual communication awkward, embarrassing, and challenging. Women don't want to be seen as slutty. Men don't want to be rude or offensive. Few have the vocabulary other than fourletter words to honor the jewels and the acts of sex. The closest many get to openly confronting sex is with dirty jokes. So many of our clients and subscribers won't even say the word "sex" or talk about "making love" without vague euphemisms. Most likely, you both need to be more comfortable communicating about sex. It will be great for you to create an intention together to be able to talk with each other about sex openly, honestly, and often. Admit it if it's scary or if you've never done it before. Don't be afraid to reveal what's embarrassing, what brings up strange feelings, and what discomfort surfaces. Start with talking about your fears and asking about the fears you imagine your partner has. We're not going to kid you about all this. Learning to talk with your partner about sex, including the subtleties as well as the techniques, requires guts and practice. Sometimes women want to protect their man's ego so they're too polite or too vague. Often they're unsure if they even have the right to ask for anything different than what they're getting. Too many men and women don't know how, why, or when they want something different.


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Cross the Sexual Communication Frontier Sexual communication is a major frontier for most couples. Cross this chasm and we guarantee it will make your sex hotter. The other good news is that jumping emotional hurdles yourself opens your orgasmic energy channels. Fortunately, there are even more pay-offs from learning to converse easily about sex, love, and intimacy. Communicating with words is a great tool for titillation and flirtation. Communication is also essential for exchanging information so that you can enhance your own and your partner's pleasure. Sometimes it's necessary to coach or redirect partners when what they're doing with their fingers, mouths, or jewels isn't working for you. If you make an agreement beforehand about how you want to communicate during sex, it can be much less challenging. No one likes to feel criticized or put down, most particularly while in bed with a lover. Not to worry, we'll be offering LOTS of specific sexual techniques about this later in Tantric Lovemaking (Day 5). Because the sexual communication frontier takes courage and practice to cross, we've been including discussion questions after each section of this e-course, Yes, that's why they're there, designed to encourage you to talk more freely about sex. Have you been taking the time and giving the attention to not only reflecting and journaling, but sharing your answers, too? Hopefully you've been taking advantage of these thought-provokers and turning them into intimate sharing. Though it may be awkward at first, we guarantee that gradually getting used to communicating openly about all matters sexual will help you transform the intimacy of your connection and create the foundation to transmute subtle energy into awesome ecstasy. PARTNER SEXERCISE: Sexual Communication Purpose


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Through opening up your sexual communication, this practice will increase your intimacy and give you useful information that you can use throughout this chapter and the rest of this e-course. Discussion Women tend to enjoy 30 to 60 minutes of lovemaking before intercourse, while men are often ready to go within a few minutes. However, it's important to remember that with Tantric Sextasy, intercourse is never the goal or the end point. Only you know how your body responds and what feels best. This sexercise asks you to discuss, as specifically as possible, many of your experiences and considerations about sex. For example, you'll be asked about the types of stimulation you prefer and the amount of time you like for lovemaking. Go over the following questions separately and then share your answers with each other. Let the dialogue flow where it will until you hear, feel, and understand more about your lover's preferences. In your preparations and statements, concentrate on "I Statements," which are descriptions of your own feelings and experiences. You'll benefit much more and avoid any possible tension if you don't focus on your perception of your lover's experience. Questions (1) What parts of sex are you comfortable talking frankly and openly about? What parts are uncomfortable to discuss? (2) What would you like your partner to know about your sexuality? (3) What sexual activities do you particularly enjoy? (4) What about sex do you avoid, worry about, and fear? (5) How does your interest in sex vary and what seems to affect it? (6) Do you prefer to give or receive? Why? Which would you like more of? (7) What's the most difficult thing for you to talk about regarding sex?


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(8) How do you feel about the length of time you engage in different kinds of lovemaking (kissing, touching, massaging, talking, licking, sucking, etc.)? (9) Are you aware of being trapped in any sexual patterns or ruts? How would you like to change them? (10)

Which are you favorite kinds of lovemaking? Which would you like

more of? (11)

Men, what are your feelings about your erections and your sexual

performance? (12)

Women, what concerns do you have about your genitals,

lubrication, and orgasms? (13)

Describe some erotic dreams and waking sexual fantasies. Which

would you like to experience in real life? (14)

How do you really feel about sexual union (intercourse)? How

would you like it to be different? (15)

When haven't you been completely honest about what you really

wanted? Give some specific examples. Have you ever faked an orgasm? (16)

Describe your ultimate vision for your sex life (frequency, type,

variety, level of kinky-ness, whatever). (17)

Do I give (or receive) most comfortably?

1. Sex comfortability. Separately journal your answers to the first question. 2. Sexual sharing. Decide who will share first and who will listen. First speaker, go over your answers to the first question. Talk about yourself and your own experience, not what your partner did or didn't do. 3. Listen to her sexual requests and desires. As a listener, your job is to fully understand, appreciate, and repeat back the gist of what you hear. That doesn't mean you have to agree, just to hear and © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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comprehend. Only comment or query if you don't understand what your partner is saying. 4. Switch. Switch roles so that the new speaker reveals their answers to the first question and the new listener understands and acknowledges. 5. Now you’re talking. Only when you've both been heard fully should you consider discussing your answers. A note of caution: remember to show that you hear your lover out first before talking about your own ideas, feelings, and reactions. Getting defensive, rebutting, and arguing won't help you understand your lover's sex life. 6. Next questions. If you're ready for more, repeat the process for the rest of the questions right away. Or take a break and come back when the time is right. 7. Sexual reflection. Before you're finished, take a little time to notice what you've answered or haven't answered. Reflect on why that is. If it seems appropriate, discuss what you've witnessed about your own sexual communications (not your partners). Sexercise Afterthoughts In total, Tantric Sextasy is more about experiencing and less about talking. But sometimes talking about specific sexual topics is really worth it. The thing we want most for you is to be confident with one another. There are some things that have to be talked about to get there and stay there. By the way, this is only a starting place for communication, openness, and intimacy. As you become more practiced in the ways of Tantric Lovemaking, you may want three to six hours for a really special sexual encounter. Who knows how far you'll go? You may not do this exercise every time you make love, but include it when you have the time, the desire, and the need.


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The Single Biggest TURN OFF to Sex If you want to deepen and supercharge your sex life, communication must begin at the beginning -- talking about your body, what it likes, and what turns you on when. That's where the following practice, How to Love Me, picks up -- at the beginning. We’ve found out, through the years, with our clients and subscribers that the ability to talk about sex, in detail, is ultimately related to the quality of the couple's sex life and their mutual satisfaction. As professional marriage counselors and sex therapists for many years, we’ve learned that the single biggest reason women get TURNED OFF to sex (after religion) is their fear of telling their man the truth about their sexual responses, desires, and wants. Often this is rooted in their lack of awareness of what those desires are. Women are different from each other and from one moment to the other. This is confusing to the average guy who wants to learn about what women want and can't seem to put his finger on it. You'll be better off if you just accept these observations as fact. • • • • • •

No two women's sexual responses are identical. A woman's response varies from time to time and session to session. Women like variety, different things at different times. Hormones change everything at different times of the month. Emotional beings like women have changeable and unpredictable moods. Sensitive bodies, like female ones, may respond strongly to stress, emotions, exercise, medication, health challenges, and menopause.

OK guys, you've been warned. Assume nothing. Remain open to the whims of the Goddess and you'll be fine. And women, take this as permission to be just who you are now. Men's sexual preferences, too, differ from one another and from time to time. The biggest factor affecting most men's sexuality is age. Fitness, weight, drugs, alcohol, and smoking can also strongly influence your response. If you're over 40 © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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and are concerned about your virility and performance, we suggest you embark on a program of exercise that includes losing weight, stopping smoking, and reducing drinking. These, by the way, are the primary causes of male erection problems. Men differ in the kind of strokes they like. We're talking about sensual touching of vajra, the in-and-out motion of intercourse, and the verbal emotional variety, too. When and where do you prefer each? How much do you like to talk about intimacy, your body, and lovemaking? What turns you on the most? What's the best time for you? For those guys who don't rate communicating as a big turn-on, taking the time to answer these kinds of questions may be a challenge. But it's well worth it. Lovers, how in the world are you ever going to figure all this stuff out it you don't talk about it? We'll bet that at least some of you have dropped a lover because you believed they didn't have a clue about what you wanted sexually, right? Don’t Sabotage Your Own Chances of Sexual Ecstasy The single biggest couple's sexual communication gap is when one or both partners aren't completely forthcoming and authentic with each other. In less formal words, this means when you're acting phony or not telling the whole story about your pleasure. This takes away from intimacy and destroys trust. Do you... • • • •

Feel that your darling is responsible for satisfying you in any way? Believe that your partner is supposed to ‘instinctively’ know how to satisfy you? Act passive when you're not getting what you want and then complain afterwards? Wait for that magical moment when something outside of yourself will sweep you away?


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Tantric Sextasy teaches that whether you're female or male, you're 100% totally responsible for your own turn-ons and your own orgasms. Practicing completely open, honest, and authentic communication pushes you to take more and more responsibility for your turn-on. Who you are and how you feel IS you! An essential element of the Tantric Attitude is fully accepting yourself. Further, in Tantric Sextasy, you take full responsibility for what you feel, think, and do. This applies in all of life, but the bedroom is a fantastic classroom for being true to yourself. We're well aware that many lovers are waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right to sweep them off their feet. Of course, bonding for life with your soul mate can be a potent booster to sexual desire. But we don't buy that the ecstasy comes from that perfect lover. Ecstasy comes from within first and then is amplified by your compelling feelings about your lover. Fact: You Are 100% Responsible for Your Sexual Pleasures A direct outgrowth of the Tantric view that we're all extensions of the One is that we're elements of God/Goddess. You, yes YOU, can create stellar intimacy, sexual pleasure, and love with anyone you accept as a divine reflection. Our point is not that you should make it with anyone indiscriminately. We're urging you to look inside and recognize that when you choose to go for it, then magic happens. No other time. This means you are 100% responsible for your sexual responsiveness AND your connection with the One. No excuses, no blaming, no copping out. Your power originates with your thoughts, beliefs, and values. Think about what you don't have or don't want and you'll likely end with what you're vibrating. Your work is to focus your mind on what you do want, believe you deserve it, and treasure it as valuable. Only then can you tap into the universal source and energize your desires with the life-changing power of emotional vibration. Only then will you receive what desire. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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Your truth is who you are. If you don't put it on the line, you will diminish your capacity for love and eroticism. Be who you are, the divine wondrous being that is you. Be proud of all of you. Truth is lifesaving and grounding. Truth is the doorway to enlightenment. You cannot live the fullness of life without feeling anxious. You cannot grow without being scared. Life begins where your comfort zone ends. Take Responsibility for Your Own Turn-Ons! A Tantric lover is an empowered lover. One who knows they deserve pleasure and does everything they can to get the most they can. Tantric lovers know that they're each responsible for their own pleasure. They recognize that erotic experiences begin within. They study, search, and experiment to discover what their body likes. They've explored all pleasure triggers and know when and how they want their divine jewels stimulated. They know what they like, what they prefer in the moment, and what to pass on in each encounter. Tantric lovers take charge and guide lovemaking to insure that they get what they want. They ask for what they want, voice their reactions, and give lots of feedback. We're not talking about being pushy, demanding, or never satisfied. They do it in a way that enhances intimacy and contributes to the sensual mood by being respectful and gentle. Obviously, this kind of authentic interplay requires knowing, accepting, and loving yourself fully. Then you can be scrupulously honest, totally real, and refreshingly transparent with your innermost desires. When you love and respect yourself, it easy and natural to accept and love your lover. When receiving, all lovers, especially non-assertive women, would greatly benefit by explaining what they desire, what they feel, and how they're reacting. Partners in general, and men in particular, do not appreciate being in the dark (figuratively) when they're trying to please their partner. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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Lovers need and want to feel confident that they're successfully turning their Goddess or God on. This is true of a highly sexual woman also. She wants to know that her movements and actions are creating results, i.e. a hard one. Going deeper with communication throughout your lovemaking is a tremendous help in creating intimacy as well. The following practice is designed to get the ball rolling (pun intended). PARTNER SEXERCISE: How to Love Me Discussion This practice tells your lover in advance what you want, where you want it, and how you want it. At last you can reveal your innermost sensual, sexual, and erotic desires and how you can get them from your lover. We recommend you set plenty of time aside for this, a minimum of 30 minutes each. It may take longer. Neither of you want to be rushed. Purpose The purpose of this practice is to let your lover know, in explicit detail, how you like to be approached, spoken to, touched, excited, and in what order. Preparations Before you begin, read and consider the following questions. Journal the answers if you prefer or just look deeper into your responses so you can be more real during the exercise. (18)

What kind of understanding and rapport gets you in the mood to be

turned on? (19)

What setting and environment most encourages you to get turned

on? (20)

How do you like your senses stimulated beforehand?

(21)

What do you like your lover to say or do before touching you?

(22)

How do you like to undress or be undressed?


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(23)

How do you like your whole body touched initially?

(24)

What parts of your body get turned on by what kind of stimulation?

Be as specific as you can be. (25)

What sensitive parts do you like stimulated before your jewels?

(26)

How do your jewels like to be approached?

(27)

What strokes do your jewels like first? What strokes do your jewels

like later? (28)

What sexual positions do you like and dislike?

(29)

How do you like to be penetrated?

(30)

What do you most like after penetration?

(31)

How does your Sacred Gate (G-Spot) like to be loved?

(32)

What other guidance will help you reach maximum pleasure?

1. Sexual setting. Create a clean, warm, private, sensual space for this practice. Light candles and turn-on sensual music and relax. 2. Undress. Decide who will go first and if you both want to be nude. You can begin by undressing each other or strip for each other seductively if that's fun for both of you. This makes your connection playful and serious at the same time. 3. Describe & demonstrate. Describe and demonstrate the ways you like to be approached initially: verbally or non-verbally, ritually or playfully, softly or roughly, or all the above. You can use the list of questions as a guideline if you like. Be specific on things like what kind of touching you like where. Don't just explain; touch yourself in each place as you talk about it. Show your lover what you like. Stroke your body the way you want your lover to. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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Demonstrate on yourself what turns you on most. If it helps, you can demonstrate your preferred approach, touch, and stroke on your partner's body. Then have her them do it to you. Yippee! We recognize this can be quite a stretch. Be open about your feelings. If you feel resistances or hesitancies, express those. If the first go-around is too filled with tension, then just talk about it first. Later you can follow the guidelines for full demonstration of your desires. 4. Before the Jewels… Explain how much warm-up your body usually needs before you enjoy intense focus on your sexual jewels. What do you prefer to happen and how extensively before your jewels are approached? Do you want your butt played with, your feet or back rubbed, or your head scratched first? Don't hold anything back. The clearer you are, the more likely you are to get exactly what you want. Chances are, your lover will love pleasing you in any way you demonstrate. If you're not sure in the moment, experiment. By the way, these directions are designed to be an initial rough guide. For example, while awakening the rest of the body, we like to lightly brush and briefly connect our hands with our lover's jewels. It's just a hint of things to come, not an intense hand job. 5. Jewel sensual play. Show your lover your yoni or vajra. Don't be shy. Spread your legs and be proud. Expose all your parts, naming them and sharing your feelings about them. Do you have a pet name for yours? Demonstrate and describe how yoni or vajra likes to be approached with eyes, fingers, breath, lips, words, etc. Men, show your lover how to awaken vajra, his shaft and head, your devamani (testicles), rosetta (anus) and perineum (the area between vajra and rosetta). Women, show your lover how to touch your outer lips, inner lips, yoni opening, clio (clitoris), urethral meatus (pee hole), and yoni's insides. If you know where your G-Spot is and what kind of stroking you like there, add that. If you like, © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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include rosetta afterwards so that there's no chance of contaminating yoni with unwanted bacteria. If these are areas that are unknown to you, then you need to do some selfexploration and Tantric self-pleasuring so you will better be able to tell your partner what you want. 6. Ask… don't assume. If you're in a long-term relationship, please don't assume your sweetie knows everything about your body (or anything else, for that matter). We bet there are things you don't know yet about yourself. The observer in this practice will surely learn something new and maybe you will, too. Both of you should feel free to ask questions if something important is glossed over, surprising, or left out. Ask for more detail or clarification any time you're confused. While one of you is fully exposed, the other should concentrate on really take everything in. You both want the new information to stick. If you find yourself feeling distracted, it's probably a resistance that needs to be looked at. Reveal it and talk about it until you're ready to go on. 7. Switch roles. Exchange roles so you both get a chance to reveal your innermost sexual desires and preferences. By the time the second partner has completed this practice, it's quite likely you'll both be very turned on. Play, go for it, do what comes naturally. We never want you to miss an opportunity for a hot time together. You can continue reading and learning later. 8. Sexual exploration discussion. Talk about your experiences of showing and watching. What was interesting, what was surprising? What would you like to do more of? Sexercise Afterthoughts When you're alive and growing with the Tantric Attitude, sexual pleasure is always a moving target. So you can repeat this exercise many times as you develop and evolve. In fact, to go into more depth, you can confine it to distinct © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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parts of your body each time. What your back loves, what clio prefers at different times, how to treat vajra after an orgasm, how to do your feet, etc.?

How to Tap Your ‘Inner Gender’ Treat Yourselves as God and Goddess In the Tantric tradition, we perceive each man and each woman, as the embodiment of the God and the Goddess, Shiva and Shakti. Shiva is one of the trinity of primary gods in the Hindu pantheon. Shakti is his consort, his mate, his mirror. She is called by many names in various versions of old texts, but for our purposes Shakti is the Goddess. Shiva is the masculine, sky energy, pure consciousness. Shiva is the creator and the destroyer. Shiva is the master planner. He is the dreamer. Shakti is the feminine, earth energy, pure powerful life force. She is the fuel for the manifestation of dreams. Without her, Shiva's creativity lies dormant, unfulfilled. Shakti is the grounding and mobilizing force. Together, Shiva and Shakti are the creators of the universe of experience. Today, Tantrikas revere Shiva as the pure embodiment of the masculine force culminating in cosmic consciousness, and Shakti as the feminine principle embodying pure creative energy. This isn't worship of supreme beings as in most organized religions. Rather, it's Tantric Sextasy's way of honoring the forces of nature that exist within each of us. We simply use Shiva and Shakti as convenient symbols to focus the growth of our own divine qualities.


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What's The Gender of Your Inner Being? We talk a lot about consciousness, ecstatic states, and experiencing the ultimate pleasures of the body. In ancient Tantra, enlightenment (the ultimate consciousness) is achieved when Shiva (the masculine) and Shakti (the feminine) merge within the individual as one. Let us back up just a bit. If you are a guy, you are Shiva on the outside. However, you have an inner Shakti, an inner woman. An essential piece of the Tantric path is opening to all that you are including your inner being of the opposite gender. Similarly, if you are a woman, you have an inner male. It is only when these two can meet as equals that you can enter the highest state of consciousness some call enlightenment. The path of Spiritual Sex in Tantric Sextasy is full union, becoming one, of your inner male and female essences. Moving deeper into Tantric Sextasy gives you opportunity to experience your own godly nature in conjunction with your partner. Then there is perfect harmony, perfect love. Yes, you deserve to be honored, just because you are you, a reflection of these higher powers. We have come to believe that enlightenment is a state of being where you can feel and see and be whatever is reflective of the moment, but you are also always the watcher, the witness that knows all is an illusion of your making. So, enjoy the beauty, enjoy the irony, enjoy the ups and downs, and seek the pleasure and joy in every moment. In short, Tantrikas honor both our inner male and female regardless of our biological sex because it's their union that brings total peace, bliss, and joy. Tantric Sex and Carl Jung Do you know about Carl Jung's work? Carl Jung, Ph.D., a student of Sigmund Freud M.D. and the father of transpersonal psychology, proposed a similar structure. Jung also believed that each of us has an inner self representing the opposite sex. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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He called these inner selves, the Animus and the Anima. Jung's name for the inner female was the Anima and for the inner male, the Animus. So, according to him as well, women have an animus (the masculine) and men have an anima (the feminine). As a vital part of mental health, fulfilling lives, and healthy relationships, Jung emphasized the need for these two parts, the outer and the inner, to be in balance and in awareness. If yours are out of balance, you spend your life seeking another to make you whole. Instead, you need to fully know your inner self, your animus or anima, to become fully mature and integrated. In other words, male and female need to find a balance within. Maybe Jung was a closet Tantric master?!? When Yin & Yang Unite The Eastern symbol of yin and yang is very well known in the Western world. It is a beautiful representation of the Tantric model of the interrelation of the masculine and the feminine, Shiva and Shakti. The yin-yang symbol shows that within each of us is a part that is the opposite gender. Do you see the small circle of white within the black feminine and the small circle of black within the white masculine? The primary difference in Tantric Sextasy is that we believe the inner part of us needs to grow larger than indicated by the yin-yang symbol. Western society artificially separates our masculine and feminine qualities by discouraging the development of both within each of us. You know that men are taught to hide their soft, feminine, pliant side and women are traditionally encouraged to hide their assertiveness, leadership, and exercise of power.


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Maybe you've seen some shifting away from this strict division. But the reality is still that the dot inside each half of the yin-yang symbol is smaller than the half of one sex. Balance is the key. Cultivate Your Inner Gender Truly men and women have both sets of qualities and need to exercise them all for a fulfilling life. From a Tantric perspective, it is important to have a welldeveloped inner gender to be a balanced person, an integrated Tantrika, one who is on the path. Tantric Sextasy encourages each gender to cultivate the latent energies of the other. If men seek their intrinsic truths on the Tantric path, they'll invariably discover their supple, receptive, sensitive, and vulnerable side, without losing their masculinity. Women will discover their strong leadership, dynamic initiative, and teaching powers while retaining their femininity. These new qualities add to the strengths consistent with our outer gender which you've already learned to exercise. So what do you think, do real men eat quiche? Do real women eat bullets? We guess the Tantric answer is to eat whatever floats your cork in the moment. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Inner Genders Write in your journal, speak to your partner and muse about the following. • • • •

Am I in touch with my inner self of the opposite gender? If you're a guy, this is your inner female. If you're a woman, this is your inner male. Does my inner self of the opposite gender feel as well developed and strong as my external gender? Can I switch back and forth easily? What is my reaction to even thinking about this? Do I feel fear? Disgust? Disbelief? Intrigue? Others? What can I do to develop my inner opposite gender?

Blend Male and Female Sexual Energies for the Most Erotic Orgasms © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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Spiritual Sex is True Alchemy Regardless of whether you hear yin and yang, Shiva and Shakti, or Animus and Anima, an essential part of Tantric Sextasy is to practice the alchemy of blending male and female energies during sexual union. Tantra teaches you to revere your sexual partner and to transform the act of sex into a sacrament of love. Tantric Sextasy teaches that lovemaking between a man and woman, when entered into with awareness, is a gateway to both sexual and spiritual ecstasy. It's the beginning which can culminate in enlightenment or spiritual liberation. Why do we bother telling you all this? Because in order to reach the sublime heights of Tantric ecstasy you need more than technique. The merger of Spiritual Sex requires honoring the energies of both sexes equally and more. It requires Shiva becoming Shakti at times and the reverse. Both lovers need to dance freely back and forth between the yin and yang roles of Shiva and Shakti. We can't argue with the common belief that great sex is in part the result of a skillful lover's yang mastery of their own and their partner's body. But there's more to it than just a virile Shiva dominating lovemaking.

Reaching the lofty heights of supreme bliss requires that the receiver completely surrenders to the powerful energies of sexual play. We normally associate this kind of yin receptivity with Shakti. But this form of surrender is necessary whether the receiver is male or female. Achieving the ecstasy of G-Spot Orgasm through Sacred Gate massage is a prime example for both men and women. Yes, men have a G-Spot, too! Right, for Shiva to get blown away into the O-Zone, they need to adopt Shakti's yin receiving role to some degree.


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The Big Sexual Secret Lies in Role Reversal The reverse is equally true. Odd as it may seem at first, a giver must be receptive as well, embracing the Shakti role while their receiver adopts some of the Shiva energy. Did you get that seeming reversal? The leader has to be soft, pliant, and receptive. The follower has to be clear, strong, and assertive. To reach ecstatic heights, receivers must know their bodies and what brings them pleasure in each moment -- a moving target for many -- and communicate it. Whether through words, movement, breath, subtle cues, or telepathic messages, skilled Tantric lovers steer their own ascent to peaks of pleasure. This requires guiding the experience clearly, yet gently and effortlessly so that their state of reverie isn't disturbed. This kind of quiet yang power is an element of the dynamic direction of Shiva energy. But you realize we're talking about the one who's feeling pleasure, right? On the other side, givers must be open to feedback from the receiver. To pick up their partner's subtle guidance, givers need to let go of their ego, open their senses, and let themselves be led. This yin sponge-like quality is what the Goddess Shakti excels at. Dancing Between Shiva & Shakti So you see, for the ultimate sexual experience, both giver and receiver must excel at playing Shiva and Shakti roles and interchange them seamlessly. If you can only give or only receive, if you can only be yin or yang, sure you can have fun at one level. But you'll block your progress to higher levels of ecstasy. The doorway to supreme bliss will remain largely closed. Harmony and balance in male-female polarities is what you're seeking. Learn to enjoy the give and take of yin and yang energies; then you can both surprise your lover, lead each other to unheard of heights of pleasure, and be able to absorb the entire ecstasy created.


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In our sex therapy practice, we often find men who are good at giving but do poorly on the receiving part. This, in part, is due to our early socialization. In other words, you learned from your family and others how to give or not, speak about feelings or not, be affectionate or not, and everything else that makes you feel like a man or a woman. While many women may receive well, they are often lost when it comes to giving, or get bored with it quickly. We challenge you to challenge all your beliefs about what it means to be a man or a woman. Strengthen your inner opposite gender and learn to excel at being both Shakti and Shiva. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Giving & Receiving Here are some questions to reflect on, write about in your Sexploration Journal, or talk about. • • • • •

How well do you do at fully receiving and absorbing all the pleasure you're offered? How well do you focus on yourself while receiving? Does your mind wander? Do you often think about returning the favor? How well do you do at fully giving without worrying about what you're going to get in return? How well can you read what your partner wants while giving? How well are you able to feel deep pleasure in giving?

Prepare to Give and Receive Mind-Blowing Sexual Pleasure How do you learn to lead and to receive while seamlessly interchanging roles as needed? By practicing just what doesn't come naturally. Instead of spending your time and energy thinking and debating, use the Tantric way. Follow the three Tantric maxims for personal transformation:

practice,

Practice,

PRACTICE!


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The Shiva-Shakti Game is a great way to harmonize both gender roles. This requires several hours of your life away from work when you agree that one of you will focus on one role exclusively while your partner adopts the other. Of course, this strict division of roles isn't the way life normally unfolds. Remember, this is just a game to develop your inner latent talents. This game is an opportunity to fully get into one side of the gender spectrum without the guilt that receivers often feel about feeling they should be giving back. And without the jealous resistance that givers experience, who focus too much on when will they get theirs. Both can take you out of the experience and ultimately block your ability to reach the highest peaks of sexual ecstasy. In the Shiva-Shakti Game you know full well that the time is limited and you only have to restrict your mind and emotions to one gender energy temporarily. You can rest easier knowing that you'll both get a chance to turn the tables before too long. You may need to push yourself to assume the role that isn't your comfortable conditioned response, taking charge when you're used to following, or supporting when you're used to challenging or modifying your partner's plans. We find our clients either resist big-time even doing the practice at all or they jump into it and learn an inordinate amount about who they are and who they want to become. Which do you choose? If you accept that your desires are good and you deserve all the pleasure you can absorb, here's a chance to go for it. Your Chance to Play Out Sexual Fantasies! The Shiva-Shakti Game lets you demonstrate that you are fully responsible for your own pleasure. You need to communicate clearly and ask decisively for what you've always wanted and maybe been afraid to speak up about. Now you have permission, at least while you're playing Shiva.


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Further, unless you get mean spirited and exact revenge (not an intention of this exercise), you don't have to worry about rejection while your partner is committed to serving your whims and wishes. Besides, if you don't make it outof-the-ordinary and just a little bit naughty, why bother trying to change your sex life? Here's your chance to play out fantasies you've dreamed about. At last you can explore new kinds of sexual play that intrigue you. Why not belly up to the bar and go for it? This game can be even more powerful when it extends to activities outside of the bedroom. Such as going out to dinner or running errands, hiking, or doing projects together, etc. Don't be too surprised if your play runs up against the limits of your capacity for receiving. You'll likely experience resistance in one way or another. Your mind may invent all sorts of reasons why you shouldn't really embrace the role of Shiva or Shakti. You might end up with feelings like being overwhelmed, over stimulated, bored, resentful, or not feeling deserving and worthy. Or you may get into an argument because one of you is stepping on your lover's toes, metaphorically speaking. What turns a negative feeling on is often just the thing that will turn it off permanently. Resistance can be a great teacher, if you listen and recognize that it's just your mind and old beliefs talking. Letting them be. We suggest, as with all resistance, that you take it easy while you persevere. PARTNER SEXERCISE: The Shiva-Shakti Game (The Most Erotic Ways to Give & Receive Sexual Pleasure) Purpose To consciously practice exploring, experimenting, and developing the ability to fully assume and switch between the distinct yin role of Shakti and the yang role of Shiva one at a time. Description © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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Though you may want to try just an hour or two of the Shiva-Shakti Game the first time you play to get the hang of it, the profound results are more likely to occur when you're in one role for several hours straight or even an entire day. We recommend a minimum of four hours each. You don't have to play both roles in the same day. If you decide to lay over to a second day, it should be the next day, not the next week. How about going away to special place and making a weekend of it? This is a practice (game) that can be useful more than once. In other words, play every now and then until switching into each role becomes natural, effortless, and second nature for both of you. Please read the entire practice together before you begin. The previous sections already explained why you're doing this, right? If you're not clear on why you're doing this, read them again or try to ignore your resistance and just start! 1. What do you want to do to your lover and what do you want her to do to you? Separately brainstorm a list of things you want to do or have done to or for you during your ideal time as Shiva. Don't restrict yourself while you're brainstorming. Write everything down that you've ever dreamed of, the more outrageous the better. Since you're just fantasizing now, there's no commitment to follow through on what you're daydreaming. Regardless of how many wishes you ask for while you're the Shiva in charge, the exercise of your creativity in the pursuit of pleasure is a great opportunity. Everything does not have to be sexual. We urge you to include other aspects of your life like sports, walks, a game, being dressed, cooking, etc. 2. What do you think will give you the most pleasure? When your brainstorming slows down, review your list privately and consider what would bring you the most pleasure this time. Having the dishes washed? Dressing your partner up? Receiving an hour of oral sex? Put your list in the order of your preference. Don't plan everything in detail in advance so you can be playful and spontaneous in the moment. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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3. Sexual ground rules. Read your lists to each other. Both of you need to review, agree on, and follow the parameters of Shiva and Shakti behaviors described previously. If you need, set some ground rules you'll both follow. If you have some concerns or strict boundaries, please voice them and agree on how to protect and support each other. You may need to negotiate a behavior or two. Go ahead; it's good practice. Agree on how long you want to play, each of you getting to be Shiva for half and Shakti for half. Decide who will go first. 4. Tips for the sexual receiver. Shiva, ask for what you want. Experiment, be creative, inventive, and take risks. You're the king or queen and you have total right to ask for anything that moves you. Focus on learning to receive. So that you don't abuse your power, be sure to be kind to your servant (who may soon be your dictator). A good ruler is never mean-spirited or abusive to those dedicated to their pleasure. Laud your Shakti with compliments for everything that pleases you. Do your best to ignore your servant's mistakes. Remember, if you were already perfect at this, you wouldn't need to practice. And by considering the giver's feelings, you will learn more about how to get what you want and get a chance to practice your relationship communication skills. 5. Tips for the sexual giver. Demonstrate that your partner's pleasure is important to you by devoting yourself fully to this time. Imagine you are a geisha, one who is totally devoted to service. Take the profound opportunity to practice the height of the Tantric approach to life: by saying "Yes!" at every opportunity. Our normal conditioning in life is to judge actions and resist those we're uncomfortable with, controlling the outside world to protect our inner world. In this exercise, you get to practice surrender. In this way you can learn about your own inner blocks to giving freely and unconditionally without expecting anything


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in return. Or to what brings up inner resistance you will eventually need to confront and release. Of course, you're a supporter, not a slave. Don't accede to anything that would permanently wound you emotionally, hurt you physically, or be contrary to one of your fundamental core values. Recognizing your own boundaries and communicating them to Shiva softly and gently is a powerful exercise in personal power, too. 6. Exchange sexual roles. When half the time is up, officially conclude the ‘session’ by thanking your lover for sexually pleasuring you and selfishly giving in to your sexual (or non-sexual wishes). When you're ready, reverse roles for the remainder of the time by repeating the previous steps. This transition may feel awkward. Don't worry, make it funny, laugh at yourself. Do your best to focus on what you put on your list of desires, not getting even. 7. Closing. After the second Shakti has completed service to Shiva, take a separate break. Before reviewing and discussing what occurred, many couples find it helpful to take an hour or so to reflect on what happened and write in their Sexploration Journals. Then get back together in your Tantric Sacred Space and review the experience, answering questions like... • • • • • •

What was easiest? How did you feel at the time? What was hardest? How did you feel at the time? What was most enjoyable? How did you feel at the time? What did you learn about yourself? Your partner? Your relationship? What do you need and want to work on more? When do you want to do this practice again?

Sexual Healing – Learn to Prioritize Pleasure in Your Life


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Sex First! Putting pleasure first is a major challenge with arguably the most repressed aspect of modern American life. Right, we mean sex. Engaging in uninhibited sex requires expansion for all of us who've grown up in the modern world. We carry more moralizing, shame, guilt, and anxiety into the bedroom than anywhere else in our lives. Although Tantric Sextasy wasn't designed as therapy for your sexual hang-ups and limitations, it may well turn out that way. When you relax, exercise your erogenous zones, and fully enjoy your bodies, you can run into the old emotional baggage that blocks your joy and excitement. You'll probably find that old pains, wounds, and trauma are stored in your body in ways that prohibit you from experiencing your ecstatic self. Instead of focusing on problems, Tantric practice heals purely through the committed pursuit of pleasure. By generating and circulating orgasmic energy, you gradually wear down blockages the way a spring flood smoothes a streambed. By opening your energy channels more and more, you typically bump into resistance that surfaces and get the opportunity to work through it. This isn't always an easy process, but it can be powerful and fast. By cultivating the energy of pleasure, you heal your wounds, lose your inhibitions, and release your inner blocks by seeking higher and higher states of ecstasy. You're left cleansed, relaxed, and free. You become more and more sex positive, embracing the Tantric Attitude. You bask in love for yourself. When you become fully natural and spontaneous with sensual and sexual play, then you can probably be fully natural and spontaneous in any aspect of your lives. Isn't personal growth fun? And rewarding in multiple ways?


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Are You Getting Enough Sexual Touch? All of us crave touch. Don't you? Are you getting enough touch? Over 100 years ago we learned that babies died if they didn't get enough touch. Perhaps we, as adults, die a little every day when we aren't touched enough, too. In this era of high-visibility public campaigns against sexual harassment and child abuse, few of us get enough physical contact with others. In our too-busy high-stress lives, this extends to our newborns and loved ones all too often. We're strong believers in the healing power of touch. It's a simple blessing, even without professional training. We recommend frequent therapeutic massage for everyone. You know, the kind that's designed to relax without sexual intent. Why does touch feel so wonderful? Is it because... • • •

Feeling a soft loving presence on your skin opens your nervous and circulatory channels? It opens your energetic communication channels to the temple that is housed by your divine spirit? We store our emotional issues in our tissues and touch helps release the unwanted energies?

We say "Yes" to all of these reasons why touch is so luscious. Whatever the reason, do it! It feels fantastic. Sexual Healing via Erotic Touching Let's consider another vital question about loving touch. What parts of your body need tender loving care but rarely get touched without an agenda? Yes, it's your sexual jewels. With all the confusion, wounding, and bad

experiences

the

average

person

experiences during their sex life, it's no wonder so many of us end up with inhibitions


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against relaxation and physical pleasure of our jewels. One of the most powerful ways to heal these sexual issues in your jewel's tissues is via gentle healing touch of your innermost sensitive spots. This includes yoni, rosetta, clio, vajra, the Sacred Gate, or anywhere around the pelvic floor. We've seen personally the profound releasing that can happen with the healing massage of the Sacred Gate for both men and women. And the literature is ripe with story after story of tremendous sexual opening and transformation this way. We encourage you to read on, drop your agenda about instant sexual fireworks, and commit to gradually exploring your hidden recesses. With pleasure as your goal, you may experience amazing Tantric Orgasms right away or you may need lots of loving touch to slowly release tension from those places that have seen little or no loving. Regardless, the journey to healing can be a delight and the destination a nirvana of supreme sexual bliss. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Erotic Touch Here are some questions to reflect on, journal, or talk about. • • • • •

How easily does pleasure flow in your body? Do you get enough loving touch? What parts of your body need more loving touch? How could you get more? What erogenous zones are sensitive or painful? Always or just under certain conditions?

What's In The Way Of Your Immovable Object? A good way to grasp the dynamics of inner resistance is by picturing a mountain stream. In mid-summer, it flows quietly along the rocks, banks, and bottom. Come spring flood, the force of the water causes deep turbulence. Rocks, logs, the very banks themselves are battered and often swept away. That's what internal resistance to energy flow is like -- obstacles in the path of an immovable object -- your life force. Doesn't it feel like getting emotionally battered? Churned up by stress? Pushed around by conflicting tides? © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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Your health actually responds much the same way. When something throws your system off balance -- germs, toxins, poor nutrition -- your body acts against these stresses as best it can. And you feel poorly while attempting to heal. Energetic resistance can produce the same kind of downward cycle. When you're pushing psychically against something in your life, your immune system can easily go out of whack and you become vulnerable to disease. Instead of liquid and flowing, your resistant mind is causing an illiquid struggling body. You can soften the brunt of resistance by choosing to mute your desire for living, ignore your senses, or avoid pleasure. Then there's less force battering the stream bed. But then you slowly die because there's less and less enjoyment of life. So we don't recommend hiding away in a cave, sticking your head in the sand, or avoiding what's bugging you. Any of these Sexual Frustrations Sound Familiar? We've all been through one or another of these situations... •

•

•

•

•

We meet someone we're really attracted to. We finally get to the big moment in bed, and either our energy isn't there, or our new lover's desire goes flat. What happened? You've been thinking about sex for days until you finally find the opportunity. Maybe you have an argument or some heated words, and sex and communion are the last things you want. You're a hot sexy lover and you fall for this wonderful guy or gal. You absolutely adore oral sex but he won't touch your vagina or she won't touch your penis with a mouth for anything. At last, you've found and fallen for your dream lover. The first six months are fabulous: juicy days, hot sex anytime, hotter long nights. Then, for no apparent reason, she's no longer interested in sex or his erections take a permanent vacation. One of the saddest situations is when partners know their chosen one doesn't have much of a sex drive. They marry anyway hoping it's going to change, or trying to believe it doesn't really matter that much. Too often it doesn't change, and in the long run, it does matter, doesn't it?


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What do all of these situations have in common? Resistance is rearing its ugly head. And it's not particularly liquid, is it? Liquid Mind, Liquid Body, Better Sex Resistance is anything that gets in the way of the natural flows of life force energy. That's why we coined the phrase "liquid mind, liquid body". From a Tantric point of view, life force energy simply flows if you let it. We're sure you know what we're referring to. Remember a time you felt vibrant, alive, eager, and joyful about every little thing. Your life force was liquid and flowing then. We use this innate force in Tantric Sextasy to feed our health and growth. What's the most powerful force in your body? Right, sexuality. And the peak of sexual energy is at orgasm. So you often hear us talk about orgasmic energy. But however we label energy, it's all the same stuff. When you're feeling good, which is your birthright, energy flows liquid all the time. When it's flowing, your emotions are upbeat, your body is energetic, your mind is clear, and your spirit soars. When it's inhibited, you don't. Resistance is getting in the way. When there's resistance, you feel turned off, numb, cold, repulsed, angry, irritated, frustrated, hopeless, or depressed. In fact, you can define your own resistance by the very times you feel those so-called negative feelings. Where Does Sexual Resistance Come From? Resistance comes from internal conflict. Psychologically, it's caused by thoughts, beliefs, and feelings which inhibit what you want. These inner inhibitions may block you being sexual, giving and receiving love, or making a relationship commitment. You might just feel uncomfortable about these acts, or you might experience some form of fear, anxiety, or even unexplainable anger. Either way, it's not a liquid mental state. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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Why would you, an otherwise mature intelligent person, inhibit your own natural desires? Maybe because you feel... • • • •

Down about not having what you want, Your high standards and expectations aren't being met, Feel there's something wrong with what you want, or Feel there's something wrong with YOU, making you believe anything you might want is dirty, bad, or evil.

When we're working with people using Tantric Sextasy who want to lead a more joyful relationship, life, and sexual experience, they often run into internal resistances like these. It usually stems from deeply internalized rules about enjoying life and sex that get the way of pleasure. Sadly, society as a whole seems ganged-up against us leading an ecstatic life. The good news is that these beliefs give sex so much power that issues become very focused and can be healed with Tantric practice. Often, early religious beliefs about the role of sex, cultural norms about acceptable behavior, and social taboos defining right and wrong create powerful hidden roadblocks to life-giving pleasure. However, self-imposed rules that we dream up ourselves can play havoc as well. Sometimes ingrained programming causing low self-esteem, poor body acceptance, and obsessive avoidance of selfishness create internal psychic and emotional conflict. Far from a liquid mind, wouldn't you say? Negative Energy = Diminished Sexual Energy = Poor Sexual Pleasure Negative energy or anything that blocks the natural flow of all your life force energies, sexuality prominent among them, manifests as resistance. Resistance to what your lover does, resistance to your own reactions, resistance to your sexual desire. Resistance can show up as... •

fatigue,


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emotional hypersensitivity, numbness and detachment, judgment of self and others, spiritual righteousness, controlling behavior, low self-esteem, addiction, fear of disease, and other kinds of suffering.

By shining the light of your divine consciousness on what you want and what's in the way of it though Tantric practice, you can gradually transmute the energy underneath these resistances into positive life force. This is ultimately what we offer. This is the promise of Tantric Sextasy. By the way, did you know that a high stress lifestyle can inhibit your sexual desire and your sexual performance over time? You wouldn't want that now, would you? The stress you feel within is just another form of resistance. For example, if you place high expectations on yourself (although it may feel like others are doing this), you may have trouble living up to your own demands. Maybe that's why innocent childlike sexual play works so much better as an emotional soother than perfectionism. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Breaking Sexual Resistance Here are some questions to reflect on, journal, or talk about. • • • • •

How has resistance reared its ugly head in your sexual life? What resistance -- any old thoughts or out-of-proportion emotions -- crops up when you engage in sexual play? What blocks the free flow of pleasure in your body? How have you been pressured to be sexual in a way that was against your will at the time? How have you been wounded sexually?


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Tantric Sextasy Will Help Heal Your Sexual Roadblocks In contrast to this bleak accumulation of no-nos, Tantric Sextasy says Yes! to all of who you are and all you desire. With consciousness, you can be free in your mind, open to whatever you desire, and be able flow with it. With a liquid mind, resistance will gradually melt away leaving you with a liquid body. What can Tantric Sextasy offer you to support and help you flow through your resistances and help you have the greatest sex and sexual freedom you have ever imagined? Simply, whatever helps to make your orgasmic energy flow is the very thing that will burn away the impeding blocks and allow you to experience new heights of pleasure and ecstasy. Tantric Sextasy says examine your mind, your body, your soul. What do you need to be more liquid inside and promote orgasmic energy flow? Do you need some specific sexual techniques? Do you need a fresh attitude about the sacredness of your body and the pleasure it brings? Do you need permission to go for it (whatever "it" is for you)? Tantric Sextasy is a prescription for living fully. At its core, you know, it's not really about sex. In our hung-up Puritanical modern world, it just so happens that if you can free yourself to savor sexual ecstasy fully, you can learn to do it with all the energies of life. So Spiritual Sex is your playing field for spiritual growth. Have fun and it will set you free. How's that for a glorious manifesto for living? Let's Melt Some of that Sexual Resistance Right Now! Meditation can be a profound way to release resistance. Simply tune into yourself and your connection with the divine universe and you'll find that what's in the way begins melting. Shining the light of your consciousness on what's blocking your true self is healing all by itself.


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Try this for a moment right now. Close you eyes and just look at what's coursing through your mind, body, and emotions. That's all meditation is, an inner witnessing. Do you feel more fluid, more free? If not, at least you've identified what you need to heal. In the Meditating Together Chapter (Day 3), you'll find a number of active meditations which can stimulate the flow of peace, joy, and, or course, orgasmic energy. Breathing is another essential device for letting go of resistance. Most of us breathe much too shallowly. This prevents our systems from being fully oxygenated. Try it right now for two minutes. Close your eyes and breathe deep into your belly as slowly as you can comfortably. How do you feel now? When you take in more life-giving air, your body is more prepared for you to choose between restful relaxation and invigorating energy in any given moment. Breathing deeply and slowly (diaphragmatic breathing) for five minutes several times a day can dramatically reduce your stress level and increase your flow of life force energy. We believe that Tantric Sextasy can help you find the joy, desire, pleasure, and freedom you're looking for. Of course, sometimes resistance is more complicated and deep-seated. If you can't budge what's stopping your progress, psychotherapy may be indicated. Just be sure to choose someone who is sex positive! ‘Resisting Resistance’ Syndrome There's one last major resistance you need to move past: resisting resistance. Although many of us do, there's no point in resisting resistance. The more you do, the harder it is to get past what's in the way. Let's face it, sometimes we've all got blocks that stop us. Remember the bumper sticker "SHIT HAPPENS" (or something like that)? So when it comes to what's blocking your way, love it, breathe through it, and enjoy your play.


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Do you need permission to let go? OK, then, here it is. Tantric Sextasy says YES! In the long run, the conditions of your life right now are short-lived. Life is beautiful. Life is orgasmic. Perhaps today is the day you'll find your exquisite liquid body because you'll allow your mind's content to flow along with all energy in the universe. There is only love and fear. When your energy is flowing in self love and ecstasy, there is no room for fear. We hope with the coming practices you will find your flow, your liquid self. PARTNER SEXERCISE: Sexual Body Discovery Discussion For many, sexual healing is a slow, sweet, intimacy-building experience between lovers. Though sometimes it happens with sudden breakthroughs, typically it's a gradual process of releasing that expands as trust grows. As we've explained, the fastest sexual healing occurs through the therapeutic touch of your genitals. It can melt away the most solid armoring held fast in your private tissues. But we don't recommend you begin with the most intensive healing practices. We never do. Starting with tender loving touch is a better entrée into releasing your resistance, inhibitions, and sexual baggage. The Body Discovery Practice is a journey around every inch of your physical self that builds on the solo Honoring Your Body Practice from the previous chapter. It's an essential foundation to begin the healing journey with. Purpose To fully expose your body and everything attached to it in front of your partner. Here you will reveal and examine everything you carry along with you, in order to begin taking full responsibility for everything your body needs to heal. Only then can you create a deep physical intimacy. (If you don't currently have a partner,


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you can still do this exercise in front of a mirror like the Honoring Your Body Practice.) 1. Prepare your sensual place. Create a clean, warm, private, sensual space for this practice. Do this exercise in a well-lit area. Light candles and incense and turn on music plus anything else that helps you to relax. If you're doing this exercise by yourself, set up in front of a full-length mirror. If you're doing this with a partner, lay out a sarong or futon on the floor, and sit on it across from each other. 2. Pick the first body part to sexually stimulate. Choose one extremity to start with. This could be a foot or hand. To make these directions simple, we'll assume you chose one foot to begin with. 3. Reveal. Slowly and fully show every little bit of your foot to yourself or your partner. Describe everything about its looks, feel, taste, smell, and even sound. How strong is your foot? What is your heel like, your sole, your toes, in between them? How well does everything work? What's unusual about your foot? Does it have any scars, beauty marks, or limitations? How does it feel? Does it typically experience any pain or discomfort? 4. Stories. Explain all the stories, beliefs, and judgments that you carry along with this foot. Do you have any concerns about your foot? How do you feel about it? How are you proud of this foot? What are you sensitive or ashamed about it? Do you compare it to other's feet? Would you like it to look or feel different? What criticism has your foot received? What injuries, traumas, or abuse has your foot received? 5. Love it. Flow love to your foot. Say out loud "I love you, foot." Tell it what you love about it. Let your lover caress, massage, and kiss your foot with strong heartfelt loving intent. 6. Don’t forget the other side. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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Now, repeat steps (3) through (5) on your other foot. Don't just say ditto. Often, left and right are different so give each side equal unique attention. 7. Don’t ignore other body parts. Systematically move up your legs in the same way, examining your ankles, shins, knees, and thighs, front and back, inside and out. Then, continue with your butt, jewels, rosetta, perineum, hips, tummy, lower back, chest, upper back, arm pits, fingers, hands, wrists, forearms, upper arms, shoulders, neck, face, chin, cheeks, eyes, forehead, ears, head, and hair. 8. Switch roles. After a break, if you need it, switch roles and repeat the entire exercise. 9. Closing. When you're complete, talk about how you feel. Where did you encounter resistance? What did you learn about each other? What do you recognize needs healing? What do you plan to do about it? What would you like your lover to do to support you? Sexercise Afterthoughts Complete body discovery can take quite a while, If you want, feel free to break this practice up into stages. Both cover your feet and legs in one session. Then come back later to do your arms and shoulders, and so on.

Tantric Ecstasy Awaits You… The Four Cornerstones of Sexual Bliss Spiritual Sex gives you an opportunity to experience the altered state of divine ecstasy by bringing Shiva and Shakti together in the flesh. The more each of you, the man and the woman, are open to the orgasmic energy of the universe and know how to channel it throughout your being, the more ecstatic you will be, for longer and longer periods of time. We like to think of Spiritual Sex as the practice field for enlightenment. Have you ever heard about or been in the presence of a guru or spiritual master? They're so © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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joyous! We firmly believe that they continuously experience the ecstasy of orgasm without outside sexual stimulation. Wouldn't you love to feel orgasmic all the time? You may be reading this e-course not simply to have better sex but to have sacred ecstatic experiences, more meaningful spiritual connection. Tantric Sextasy is the path to that ecstasy. Along with learning your physical triggers, soon you'll learn to use orgasmic energy to propel you to altered states. What happens when you approach orgasm? You get focused, breathe deeper, make noise, and move sensuously. Tantrikas harness these natural responses to magnify their turn-on. We call the keys to mastering this ecstasy by choice, the Four Cornerstones of Supreme Bliss. They are... • • • •

Presence, Breath, Sound, and Movement.

You'll find these cornerstones throughout Tantric Sextasy. They are the center points of the stages leading up to Tantric Lovemaking. Keep in mind; these four keys are what you experience during orgasm. As you play throughout the coming chapters, you'll learn how to use presence, breath, sound, and movement to achieve prolonged periods of ecstasy and enjoy the lovemaking of Spiritual Sex. In fact, later in the Tantric Sextasy Ritual we'll teach you how to practice and employ them to create peak pleasure with the slightest arousal. Tantric Movement – Squeeze and Hold, Squeeze and Hold, Squeeze… Flexing your inner sexual muscles is an easyto-learn tool that you can to use to generate, spread, and circulate sexual energy. It comes


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from one of the cornerstones, movement, but takes regular practice. We're talking about the muscles at the base of your pelvis called PC, short for pubococcygeus. The PC are the muscles you tighten when you want to squeeze out the last few drops of urine or to stop the stream of urine in the middle. Some of you may recognize Kegel exercises. It’s the same muscles you use when you do this exercise. In fact, that's all you have to do to exercise them. Just squeeze and hold, without going to the toilet. We have a whole series of ways to build their strength in Chapter 7 (Day 4) about energy. But we don't want you to wait. Then you'll already be stronger when you get to those juicy practices that require good PCs. Here's how you build PC tone and strength... Squeeze and release your PC muscle at the rate of your normal breathing. Hold it on the in-breath and release it on the out-breath. Each cycle should take a few seconds. Start with 20 contractions two or three times a day and build up to at least 75 per set. Find some memory joggers that remind you to do these every day at least twice a day. We do them when we brush our teeth and walk the dogs. If you hit traffic lights going to work or the market, make that your reminder. Your "you've got mail" chime or TV news are other ways to remember. Find what works best for you. To make Spiritual Sex truly ecstatic, start this exercise regimen now and keep it up. You'll learn lots more about how to build and use your PC muscle when you get to the Energizing Turn-On Chapter (Day 4). Unleash the Tantric Wizard Within What is Spiritual Sex really like? How will you benefit it you learn everything we're urging you to do and keep practicing? Here's a true story from one of our authors – Gabrielle Moore – to demonstrate to you what's possible. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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Though we silently bowed to each other and touched foreheads, we obviously were so hot for each other that we just wanted to rip each other's clothes off and go for it. As we undressed each other ritually ritually

and

whispered

sweet

endearments, the heat sparking between between us rose to a fever pitch. The first first slow subtle caresses were like the discharges of a powerful electrical storm. storm. Our nerves reacted as if hit by lightning. While

our

hands

explored

everywhere, we were drawn by an irresistible magnetism to our hard and and wet spots. The moaning shook the rafters. Every time we expected to explode from the torrent of pent-up sexual energy, we consciously slowed down. With a moment of silence and a few deep breaths, we surrendered to the spasms reverberating well inside. Penetration, when we couldn't resist any longer, was like being transported to a different reality. The intense sensations were more like an inner hurricane than a warm summer's breeze. To savor every last drop of pleasure, we moved at a snail's pace. Finally, we understood how scientists harness nuclear power, letting the radiation in the reactor build very gradually to create a steady flow of electricity instead of the detonation of an atomic bomb. Ever so slowly the delightful in-and-out strokes created wave after wave of tingling excitement, rush after rush of pulsing heat, and spasm after spasm of cosmic feelings. After each peak of pleasure, we relaxed so that the energy could wash over and between us. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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We were in no hurry, with no place to go, simply absorbing every last calorie of delicious sensation we could glean from each subtle motion. As our bodies merged with less and less separation, pulsing one inside the other, the plateaus rose higher and higher. We seemed to contain so much sexual energy that just a few minutes earlier would have blown our heads off with an explosive orgasm. This is the kind of rapture you have to look forward to on this journey of Tantric Sextasy. We hope you enjoy it as much as we do. A Checklist of Tantric Sextasy Principles We want to summarize the basic principles you've read about and hopefully practiced with as you're learning to embrace the Tantric Attitude. Here are the guidelines you'll find appearing over and over as you continue through this ecourse. • • • • • • • • • • • •

Say "Yes" to everything you experience in life, love, and sex. Let go of inhibitions by not resisting healthy impulses. Relax and go with the flow, allowing natural forces to run their course. Be supremely conscious of everything while watching and enjoying. Release judgment, letting in whatever you want. Identify where you resist and release what's keeping your mind and body from being liquid. Love and accept all of yourself and all parts of your body. Be present in the moment and open your physical senses. Spend more time in your body feeling your feelings and honoring your emotions. Get out of your head when it's not serving you. Empty your mind of goals and anxieties, let sex become a timeless blissful meditation. Remember that you're responsible for your own pleasure, your turn-on, and your orgasms. Know what you desire, what your boundaries are, and voice them. Awaken and exercise both your outer physical gender and your opposite inner gender. Focus on pleasure in the moment, not simply on achieving the Big O.


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Allow orgasm to become a sacred energy event that comes to you. Release expectations of how or when an orgasm is supposed to be. Make love on multiple levels: sex, heart, and spirit.

A Tantric Send Off This and the previous chapter are packed with information about the nature of Tantric Sextasy and the practices of Tantrikas. You may find yourself referring back to them from time to time. Tantra is not a religion with dogma or staid beliefs. Tantra is an ancient set of practices that promote the raising of consciousness by loving and accepting all of who you are. Tantra is a living and evolving art of love and connection. The art of ecstatic Spiritual Sex is created through the following elements. (1) Loving and accepting yourself completely as a divine child of the universe. (2) Knowing what you desire and need for optimal pleasure. (3) Feeling comfortable to and being able to communicate your desire and wants to your lover in the moment. We hope you played the Shiva-Shakti Game or will do so shortly so you can learn what's really alive inside you, in your own way. Tantric practices can help you release the psychological baggage that inhibits you from experiencing the ecstasy you are capable of.

Take back your birthright. Be the Goddess or God who's directly plugged in. Tantric Sextasy says "There is nothing more important than that you feel good." When you are feeling good, your guidance system is telling you that you are going in the direction right for you at this time.


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The next chapter introduces you to the Tantric Sextasy Ritual which incorporates the principles of this chapter into lovemaking. The Tantric Sextasy Ritual will take you, stage-by-stage, into the heart, soul, and sex of Tantra. These are steps you will learn, integrate, and modify for yourself in each opportunity of your own lovemaking. We sincerely hope you'll use this ritual as a guideline for all Tantric encounters, as we do. Happy sexual journeying.


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Chapter 4: Your Tantric Sacred Space What is the Tantric Sextasy Ritual? Now that you know something about what Tantric Sextasy is and what it can do for you, we'll introduce you to our framework for Tantric practice, the Tantric

Sextasy

Ritual. This and each of the next five chapters focus on one stage of this ritual. When you've enjoyed the learning exercises in these chapters, you'll be ready, willing, and able to create your own style of Spiritual Sex. A Tantric ritual is simply our way of getting ready to fully appreciate the joys of Tantric S.E.X. It takes conscious attention to create the mood inside and out. Remove the distractions, intentionally create the ambiance you desire, and then your inner work can blend seamlessly with your outer play. We created the Tantric Sextasy Ritual to give you an easily remembered format that can help you understand the process of sinking into a special space for generating ecstatic states. Each chapter about the six ritual stages offers you multiple practices. Some we feel are so essential that we do them every time we make love. Others you'll only use when you're so moved. Once you've tried them all, they'll become excellent bedroom options you can choose to experience each time you engage in Spiritual Sex. The Six (6) Tantric Sextasy Ritual Stages Here is an overview of the six stages of the Tantric Sextasy Ritual.


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(1) Tantric Sacred Space: Consciously preparing and arranging the physical environment for your ritual to maximize comfort, safety, and sensuality. (2) Connecting Hearts: Creating a deep bridge at the heart and soul level by honoring yourself and your lover as reflections of the divine. (3) Meditating Together: Relaxing the mind and body into the moment to prepare for open energy channels with maximum sensitivity and flow. (4) Energizing Turn-On: Consciously using the instinctual process of orgasm to turn-on your body's energy using the Four Cornerstones of Supreme Bliss. (5) Tantric Lovemaking: Using a wide range of ecstatic sexual practices to generate and share potent energies so you can float in the Orgasm Zone together. (6) Closing Ritual Space: Gently cooling down together to create a mutual sense of energetic completion. Because the Tantric Sextasy Ritual is an outline, you can plug one or many different practices into each section, thus creating a new and different experience each time. In this way you'll learn how to use the principles of Tantric Sextasy to create your own formula for an out-of-this-world sexual and spiritual connection with yourself and your lover. Tantric Sextasy doesn't have any strict rites. Coupled with the eclectic spontaneity of Tantra in general, there's no right or wrong way to do a ritual. Once you learn the stages, you just do what strikes you in the moment while you keep the general guidelines in mind. Before you try to put all these pieces together, go through each chapter one at a time. Read each practice through completely before giving it a try. But do give each one a try. Yet, we don't think you should be too serious about it. If something doesn't seem to work right at first, laugh at yourselves and your first © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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attempts. Laughter goes a long way toward bringing more joy and pleasure into your life. Remember, Spiritual Sex is supposed to be fun, not hard work. Sometimes it may seem as though the practices are long. You may even feel sometimes that you're not getting anywhere. As with any new complex skill, it takes practice and more practice. What a great idea when fabulous lovemaking is the means and the end. Be patient with yourself. Create the Right Sexual Environment This chapter goes into detail about things you can do to create the ideal environment inside and outside for Spiritual Sex. Because it's a unique kind of ambiance you want to create, we'll begin delving deeper into why Tantric Sextasy views sex as sacred. The rest of the chapter gives you specific actions you might want to do every time you make love. We like to make simple things like bathing, dressing, and undressing spiritual rituals. While reading this chapter, you'll be rethinking where you have sex and what your bedroom looks like. Remember all the effort we put into helping you fully open your five senses? Here we put that effort to good use talking about what you wear, how you smell, what you listen to, and what mementos you want near you. After getting you thinking about redecorating yourself and your bedroom, it's time for you to take the first actual steps of the Tantric Sextasy Ritual. That's where creating the energetic Tantric Sacred Space starts to integrate the Tantric Attitude into your lovemaking.

Tantric Sex & Sacred Sexuality


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Why Do We Call Tantra Spiritual Sex? In many circles, the word Tantra is synonymous with Spiritual Sex and sacred sexuality. As you've read in the earlier chapters, Tantric Sextasy is much more than physical love. But we welcome the moniker. How can we make such an outrageous claim that something so physical is sacred and spiritual? In contrast to the viewpoint of most organized religions and the modern technological world, Tantric Sextasy doesn't divide sex and spirit. Spiritual Sex is a way to bring sexuality into harmony with spirituality, making sexual love a sacrament of spiritual union. As you begin engaging in the practices of the Tantric Sextasy Ritual, you'll understand better why this path can create an integrated, blissful, and spiritual life. Not to mention the mind-altering orgasms and an expanding sense of inner peace that you can have.

The original tantras (ancient texts) taught sex, sexual feelings, and sexual pleasure as a path to higher consciousness to spiritual freedom. Tantric Sextasy uses kundalini energy (orgasmic energy) to fuel the transformation of your spiritual self. If you use your abundance of sexual energy as the fuel for personal and spiritual growth, then you'll experience our private definition of Tantra, too -- the fast track to enlightenment. Sex as the Greatest Teacher Instead of imposing beliefs of right and wrong, Tantric practice is a way for you to discover your own truth, what makes you feel better, and what works for your life, love, relationships, and community. Tantric Sextasy teaches you to welcome all the forces of life and celebrate them as divine gifts. Sex is the greatest teacher. To have great sex, you first have to embrace the Tantric Attitude as YES-BE reminds us: welcome life, experience the now, love yourself, be in your body, and celebrate pleasure. Then you have to get your priorities in order by embracing the concept that nothing is more important than that you feel good. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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Spiritual Sex is all about spreading the good feelings of pleasure throughout your whole life, throughout more of your body, more intensely, more of the time. By supercharging your love life, Spiritual Sex can transform your whole life. Sex in Tantric Sextasy can easily become sacred for you when you embrace the underlying truth that your native state is blissful. Your divine inner being is always immersed in the feelings you have during ecstatic sex. You know the way you feel when you get close to orgasm? That's who you really are. No Need to Go to ‘Tantra Church’ for Great Sex! So how did we do trying to convince you that Spiritual Sex is a sacred ritual? But you don't have to go to church. If you're spiritual, you can easily adopt or already have adopted the view that everything on earth -- including sex -- is a gift from God or Goddess. Your body is a temple that isn't separate from your soul, or divine essence. If you lean towards the more pagan traditions, the Goddess who is love gave us sex as a reward for honoring Spirit. Either way, it's our spiritual imperative to accept this supreme offering and revel in it. Don't you agree? We connect lust, love, and life force by making love on multiple levels. Tantric Sextasy is Spiritual Sex because we merge all our energies inside by connecting sex, heart, soul, and all our energy centers, the chakras. And share each with our lover. The chakras are energy vortexes up and down the body in line with the spine which connect the physical body with the energy body and soul. We'll have more to say about chakras in the Meditating Together and Energizing Turn-On Chapters. You can't fool your body like you can fool your mind.


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As you open to all that you are, the more ecstasy you feel, the more love you feel, the more you feel divine union. The more you have, the more you have. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Sacred Sexuality Here are some questions to answer in your Sexploration Journal, reflect on, or talk about. • • • • •

Who are you, today? Go as deeply and in much detail as you want. What does it mean to be a divine being? How do you feel about the spiritual side of Spiritual Sex? How do you feel about viewing sex as sacred? Is there any discomfort or confusion? What is it? What feels right for you?

How to Establish the Right Tantric Mood Prepare Before You ‘Go For It’ The first stage of the Tantric Sextasy Ritual is about the space you inhabit during Tantric practice and Spiritual Sex. In this section we'll concentrate on several activities that can help you build a setting conducive to Tantric Lovemaking: ritual bathing, a sensual altar, sensual clothing, and a Tantric Sacred Space. Tantrikas (Tantra adepts) pay special attention to the physical environment to relax, inspire, and awaken all the senses. Creating the setting includes what you wear, what's around you, and the mood your environment helps create. A beautiful clean space, what you hear, what you wear, and what you smell can all assist. We call all this creating a Tantric Sacred Space because you consciously choose and imbue the area in which you want to connect with spiritual intent. When we suggest you take some time to consider and prepare the setting, we mean the following.


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Tantric Sextasy • • • • • •


Preparing your bodies by bathing and dressing tantrically, Cleaning and decorating the room you choose to connect in, Creating an altar of power sex objects, spiritual reminders, and erotic mementos, Collecting props like towels and sex toys, supplies like sexual lubricant and condoms, and necessities like water and snacks, Using things like music, candles, and incense to awaken the senses, and Consciously invoking the kind of mood and energy you want.

This kind of preparation is simply our way of getting ready to fully appreciate the joys of Spiritual Sex. Free Your Mind and Orgasmic Energy Will Follow The physical setting of lovemaking is vital in Spiritual Sex. We're referring to where you meet, what the room is like, how you prepare your body, and what's happening in your mind. Let's find out why the setting is so important. Tantric Sextasy uses ritual to help you get out of your head. If you can mentally leave the "normal" world for a while, you can better sink into your body and the flow of subtle orgasmic energy. We humans have powerful minds that are often useful, but sometimes they're too busy and distracting when you want to feel your body. At those times, it's a good thing to "lose your mind" when you want to feel sexual and generate peaks of ecstasy. Can you recall attempts to make love when you just couldn't get your mind off that exam tomorrow or the report due next week or the kid's challenge at school today or the fight you had with your partner yesterday? The rituals of creating a Tantric Sacred Space help us turn off our thinking minds temporarily by giving us a different focus. The motions we go through to cleanse and sanctify our lovemaking arena remind us of earlier good feelings. The repetition over time makes it more and more effective. It becomes almost a selfhypnotic state of peace and openness. All of this makes it easier to focus on pleasure and not what's going on in the monkey-mind.


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Tantric Ritual Bathing A wonderful place to start creating the perfect spiritual setting for your Tantric merging is by bathing together. Of course, sweet clean skin is pleasing to your sense of smell and taste. But bathing or showering is also necessary to wash away the energetic sludge of the day, the accumulated tensions of the week. Choosing to bathe together is a sensual experience as well as a practical one. Get wet, get slippery, get playful, get naughty, get fresh in more ways than one. Which reminds us, before bathing, it's a good idea to discuss any boundaries that each of you may have. Girls don't always like to get their hair wet or soap in their yoni (vagina). Sometimes it's too early to touch certain places that may be hypersensitive to soap. Guys may have some concerns too, such as their ‘behinds’ being touched or lavished attention on with soap. Some suggest bathing two to three hours before lovemaking because then your body has a chance to restore its natural pheromones. These are the scents your body gives off which can be highly arousing to members of the opposite sex. This may not always be practical, but if you can, try it. Tantric Sextasy is so powerful, that with or without the pheromones, you're going to have a fantastic turn-on! PARTNER SEXERCISE: Ritual Bathing Purpose To cleanse each other as a delightful preparation for intimate play. Description


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After a day of busy life activity, bathing is a wonderful transition to a more sensual mood. Water seems to have a magic about it. It not only cleanses us, an essential for intimate play, but also washes away old energies and relaxes us. Bathing together is intimate play at its best. If you have a large enough bathtub, consider the following practice. Hot tubs are great, too, but public ones may not offer the same kind of intimacy you're seeking. Either way, it's a delightful preparation for moving further along in the Tantric Sextasy Ritual. 1. Set the stage. Clean up the area. Bring incense and music into the bathroom. Light some scented candles. Use a fragrant bath oil. 2. Honor each other. Look into each other's eyes, bow reverently, hug, and express your love and desire for each other. (In the next chapter you'll learn some other great ways to honor each other before beginning.) 3. Discuss boundaries. Check in about your current desires plus any concerns and boundaries for bathing together. This means simply to talk about what's on your mind. 4. Soak. Spend some time unwinding by just being together. Look deeply into each other's eyes for minutes on end. Synchronize your breathing. Reach out with your consciousness to feel your lover's energy body. 5. Sexual play. Bathe, soap, rub, and slide with each other. Flirt and tantalize with all your parts: lips, eyes, fingers, tongue, breasts, sexual jewels (genitals), and any other part of your bodies that want to join in. This is how you make heaven on earth yours. 6. Revere each other.


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While you're in the tub, it's a wonderful time to revere one another verbally. Good examples, if they're true for you, are... "I love you so much." "You're so beautiful." "I really appreciate how you support me." "Your body turns me on like no other." 7. Towel dry each other. Towel and dry each other. Anoint your lover's body with moisturizing cream if desired. 8. Close. Close your bath with another bow or hug and an agreement for the next step. Sexercise Afterthoughts There really is no magical order to this Bathing Ritual. Try it how we've suggested it to find out what you prefer. By practicing you can find out the elements that you most enjoy and love repeating. Changing their order can add some novelty, always a juicy piece of intimacy and turn-on. Are You What You Wear? So much of today's clothing is practical, mass-produced, and dull. This kind of garb doesn't really enhance your sensuality and sexual energy. Tantrikas wear clothing that looks good and feels good. We love to adorn our bodies with colorful fabrics, beautiful accessories, and exotic jewelry. Silk, satin, or velvet are wonderful to touch whether you're the toucher or the touchee. Showing off your cleavage or cluster are always a turn-on. Clothing that accentuates your sexuality and sensuality, such as sarongs and jewelry for men and women, is a basic part of creating the setting and mood for sacred spiritual sex. What's in your closet? Do you have any clothing items that make you feel sexy when you wear them? Whether it's underwear or outerwear, choose your clothing to reflect you sexual, sensual nature. Don't look like everyone else. Spice up your hair color and your makeup if you're a woman.


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Hey, guys, you might really appreciate the fruits of enhancing your appearance, too. Get your woman to help you pick out colorful tops, loose-fitting pants from other countries, flowing robes, smooth and soft fabrics, or anything that's sensual in nature. More stores are carrying these kinds of things for men today. There are lots of options online as well. Many guys may want to color their hair as well. The most important question is "Does it make me feel good when I do it?" Play at the edge of your comfort zone, stretch. You'll never be the same. We invite you to step out of the ordinary. Begin with the way you dress your body. This is a form of expressing yourself and your intentions to your lover. It is also adult play. Costuming always supports a playful attitude. Remember, Tantric Sextasy says "Yes!" DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Tantric Clothing Journal or discuss with your partner or both. • • •

•

How much attention do you pay to your appearance? What clothing do you have that qualifies as tantric? What kind of wardrobe would you like to accumulate to contribute the mood of Spiritual Sex? Where will you look for it? When is your first Tantric Sex clothing shopping date?

SOLO SEXERCISE: Tantric Dressing Purpose To assess what's in your closet and create a Tantric wardrobe to enhance your senses of touch and sight. Description Reality is grossly overrated. What will it get you if you conform to what everyone else wears? It can't take you where you want to go in this Tantric arena. Tantric


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clothing can help transport you into another realm, a realm of sensual pleasure, the world of your dreams. Here's an opportunity to begin playing with this big time. We're not saying that you have to change your overall style or appearance in other parts of your life. This is just a great opportunity to re-invent yourself during your sacred encounters. 1. Assess your current wardrobe. Start by assessing the state of your wardrobe. Go to your closet and any drawers of clothing you have. If you have a partner, go together. Look at all the various items. See if you can find some sexy, sensual items. For women, this might be chemises, garters, stockings, silk gowns, see-through sarongs, or satin robes. For guys, this would be silk or satin lounging jackets, shirts, pants, or shorts. Do you have any colorful, soft shirts?

Make a game of it. Try stuff on. Give playful responses. Layer clothing for different looks. For a real eye-opener, try on some of your sweetie's clothing to stretch your comfort zone. Remember, you want your clothing to be enticing, so check it out with your partner. Be prepared to change your ideas about what is okay. Particularly you, guys. 2. Modify your wardrobe, modify your sex life. Now that you've got a sense of what you've been wearing, it's time to modify your wardrobe. It's highly unlikely that you'll find what you're looking for in your closet. So plan a shopping trip. No, this won't be to sears or the gap. Instead, search out boutiques, specialty shops, and import stores. Search under goddess clothing on the internet. Keep your eyes open when shopping. Victoriassecret.com and fredericks.com are great places for inexpensive fun sexy clothing. Though they


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have some things for men, guys, you'll want to try other sites like internationalmale.com. If you have choices, collect items that will slip on and off easily. Tight zippers, difficult buttons, and the like can turn out to be more trouble than they're worth when you want to get out of your new threads. Look for elastic, snaps, and velcro instead. Or do some of your own modifications if you're at all sewing friendly. Sarongs, the mainstay of the wardrobe of any law-abiding tantrika, can be found in many common places. They're basically a piece of cloth, sometimes with fringes, that you can tie around your waist or more. You may know them as pareos. If you're planning a trip to the tropics, be sure to pick up a bunch of fun, playful, sensual sarongs. They make great gifts plus you can use them to decorate your home and your Tantric Sacred Space. 3. Jewelry. All the above is true for jewelry too. Women have a big head start here. But you may need to seek out more earthy and sensual trinkets. Import stores such as cost plus or pier one often have great inexpensive jewelry for both sexes. We realize that you're looking for the kind of primitive necklaces, bracelets, and rings that aren't too dainty. Gals, ask your guy's opinion about this or just surprise him with a piece. When you get into the spirit of the tantric space, visual cues simply add some spice. Create a Tantric Sex Altar We recommend you create a special area on top of a dresser or small table near your practice area for special powerful objects that remind you of your spiritual and relationship priorities. We call this your tantric altar. An altar near your tantric practice area says a lot about you. It says what's important to you and what you want to be reminded of. This is not an altar


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dedicated to anything or anyone other than yourself. As a Tantrika, you know that you create your own world. You can set up a tantric altar each time you go through the Tantric Sextasy Ritual to make it fresh, focused, and unique for each new experience or you can reserve a permanent place for your personal altar to serve as a constant reminder. If you do create a dedicated altar space, remember to keep it clean and renewed by adding and removing objects as it occurs to you. Your tantric altar may contain meaningful statues or other art items plus pictures of your teachers, revered ones, and family members. Include power objects such as crystals, stones, or any little things that you've collected because of their special meaning. Reminders of loved ones are terrific. Shells, feathers, stones, and symbolic items are common but the choice is purely yours. Be aware of color and its impact. Before you carefully arrange the objects you've collected, choose your altar cloth, which covers the table, to reflect the energy you want. For example, red for heat and sex, green or pink for love and compassion, etc. Fresh flowers or potted plants add beauty and a special piece of mother earth to your altar. Candles are essential on an altar. The light from the candles symbolizes the light within each of us. Candlelight also makes everyone beautiful and changes the energy of the space very rapidly. It's amazing how much light even a single candle can generate. Let your tantric altar be an ongoing reminder and honoring of your priorities in life. We hope your priorities are love, relationship, sex, spirit, family, and pleasure. SOLO SEXERCISE: Set Up a Tantric Altar Description


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If you haven't already done so, create a dedicated area as a tantric altar for special power objects dedicated to your love, your teachers, your family, your lifestyle, your relationship, etc. Purpose To give you a step-by-step process to assist you in creating your tantric altar. 1. Prepare. After reading the above description, you may want to journal what you want your tantric altar to signify. If you're in relationship, talk about things you're thinking about including. Then when you're ready, gather all your supplies together. 2. Pick your location. Do you want an altar in a dedicated location or one that you set up for special occasions like the Tantric Sextasy Ritual? Decide where you want to place your permanent or temporary altar. 3. Altar cloth. On a smallish table or dresser top, place your altar cloth. 4. Candles. Place your candles in an easy to reach position. 5. Centerpiece. Do you have a centerpiece? If so, place that next. Many Tantrikas prefer using a yab-yum statue with Shakti sitting on Shiva’s lap in ecstatic communion. 6. Flowers. Position the flowers or potted plants. 7. Power objects. Be artistic and thoughtful about the pieces you put on the altar. It might feel more meaningful if you and your partner talk a little about each piece you have chosen to put on the altar. As indicated above, rocks, pieces of wood, jewelry, pictures of loved ones, poetry, even a book might be what you want on your altar. 8. Include something tantric.


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Consider including something about tantra or spiritual sex; e.g., a lingam stone from India that represents the sacred vajra, a geode that reminds you of a yoni, a stature or sculpture of two people in intimate embrace. Use your imagination and creativity. It's your altar. 9. Look it over. After you set it up, sit with your partner and look at it. How does it feel to physically honor your sacred connection to spirit and to your sexuality? Discuss what comes up and adjust your creation as you see fit. A tantric altar is always a work in progress.

How to Create a Tantric Sacred Space We call preparing the physical setting for tantric practices and lovemaking, creating a Tantric Sacred Space. It's a space we choose, take loving care in preparing, and dedicate to the higher purpose of spiritual sex. A Tantric Sacred Space can be any setting you choose where you and your partner are free to be. It is an energetic space of non-judgment, where energies can soar. If you have extra space, devote a room permanently to your Tantric Sacred Space so it's always ready. When spiritual sex is foremost in your life, creating and dedicating your "tantra room" comes naturally. If you don't have a spare room that you can decorate and reserve for tantric lovemaking, you can create the atmosphere you want in your living room or bedroom for each unique encounter. In fact, there's a benefit to setting up rather than having it already done, as you get to meditate on the kind of experience or energy you want to create, now. It also stimulates your creativity and focus and helps you resist the powerful force of habit and taking things for granted.


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Use Music to enhance Your Sexual Mood Music is a powerful mood maker. Music can move your soul, empty your mind, and assist you in getting in touch with the rhythms of the earth and the rhythms of your body. For a tantric practice, you want the right kind of music. Music that is tantalizing, uplifting, energizing, never distracting or interfering. We each have our personal tastes and we want you to explore what kind of music you like to make love with. Part of creating a Tantric Sacred Space is having music sources and equipment handy. No, not the TV. We're talking about tapes, CDs, or non-commercial feeds. Most commercial radio stations won't work well mostly due to talking and ads. Words and commercials will put you in your head just when you want to be in your body reveling in your other senses. So, what kind of music do you prefer when you're turned-on? Start exploring different kinds of sounds and rhythms. Most important, check out how different genres make you feel. As you reach out for new sounds, you'll develop your own tastes which you can pursue. SOLO SEXERCISE: Bedroom Makeover Time! Description We've been talking about creating a Tantric Sacred Space for a spiritual sex ritual. How do you create a special energetic space if you're just going to have quickie? What about your bedroom? It's probably the place you're sexual the most. NonTantrikas don't take much time thinking about how sensual their bedrooms are. Don't make that mistake. After working with so many couples struggling with their sex lives, we can accurately evaluate a couple's sexual relationship simply by looking at their bedroom. Since most of us don't have the money and space to have a tantric love


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temple-room, the next best thing is paying special attention to the room you sleep and make love in. Think about hanging some erotic art, sensual fabrics, lots of candles, and others. Lots of soft pillows and satin sheets are never bad ideas too. Purpose To clean, arrange, and prepare your bedroom for use as your personal Tantric Sacred Space. If you live with your partner, you need to do this together. 1. Observe. Look with an objective eye, as if you had never been in your bedroom before. What is the furniture like? What decorations do you have? What color are the walls? Is it inviting? Does it make you feel cozy? Cold? Turned on? Neutral? Turned off? 2. Tidy up. Is your bedroom clean? Pick up loose clothing and vacuum. Do you want to spend time there? If not, get to work. Begin by putting your stuff away and cleaning your space. What you can't put away, cover with a lovely cloth or sarong. For instance, why not cover your TV (if you have one in your bedroom) with a sarong before a ritual. 3. Your bed. What is your bed like? What does it look like? What does it feel like? What are the sheets, pillows, and bed covers like? Is it too small? Too big? Make some changes if you need to. 4. Bedroom theme. Is there a theme in your room? If not, create one. 5. Sensuality. Are the colors and textures sensual to you? 6. Sensual lighting.


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Can you make the lighting soft? Turn down the lamps with a rheostat or by covering them with cloths. Do you have candles and oil lamps with fresh candles and a handy lighter? 7. Flowers. Are there fresh flowers in your bedroom or at least a plant? Because some of us don't have a green thumb or enough light to have real ones, fake ones count. 8. Music. Is there a music system, all ready to go with sensual, sexy music? Sexercise Afterthoughts Women, be careful that you don't go too cutesy or frilly. Pastel colors are not the colors of sex and may turn off your manly man. Decorate with intention. You want spiritual sex so decorate with tantric colors and feelings: sensual, colorful, relaxing, and energizing. Your bedroom is not the place to skimp. Just as your sex life is not the place to skimp in your relationship. Go Back to Center Too many of us are so busy thinking. We end up with many dead-end thoughts that make us feel strung out, scattered, and frustrated. When we're perpetually in our heads, we get disconnected from the life forces around us. Letting the mind always take the lead is addictive, we end up thinking we can solve all our problems or challenges by using our mind. Not. When your mind is somewhere else daydreaming, calculating, or worrying, you lose touch with reality. You're not grounded, centered, or balanced.

We're not trying to indict you for working hard, thinking creatively, or enjoying fantasies since those can be enjoyable pursuits. We're trying to point out that, when your consciousness is elsewhere, you'll have trouble tuning into the powerful energies that tantric practice is based upon. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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Sometimes the stresses and strains of life overwhelm us with frenetic energies that try to sweep us away. It can even happen with tantric practice until you develop the ability to channel and direct kundalini or orgasmic energy. Not to worry. If you find yourself spacey, distracted, and cut off, it's easy to get back to center. You just need to purposely connect yourself with your foundations. Get back to basics. Refocus on fundamentals like who you are, where are you, what's important, and what is your body feeling right now. If you do this, perspective will easily return and you'll find yourself back in balance. Grounding 101 We call the practice of going back to your center grounding. Literally, grounding means to get reconnected with your foundations, with the earth. Then you move from being centered in your head to being centered in your body. Sometimes just putting attention on your body, your breath, or your feet feeling the solid floor or actual earth is enough. Bathing or exercising can also help. Sometimes it helps to visualize roots growing out from your feet into the center of the earth. Grounding simply redirects your consciousness to the reality of the here and now. Have you heard of centering? It means to get your attention focused inside, usually on your heart or belly. It's much the same thing as grounding. Both create an energetic bond with the forces of the earth so that energy may flow through you, joyously, ecstatically. The following practice has a cumulative effect. In other words, the more you do it, the more solid you feel in your body. Your body has a wisdom of its own, but we often don't take the time to listen to its wisdom. Because Tantric Sextasy is a holistic practice, we believe it's important to learn many different ways to get into and stay in your body. Ultimately, tantric practice requires learning to use your mind, not letting the mind use you. Grounding can help with this.


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SOLO SEXERCISE: How to Practice Grounding Description To counteract the conditioning that centers us in our heads, make it a daily ritual to ground yourself. This simple exercise only takes a few moments each day or each time you need it. Over the long term, it can help you stabilize, center, and stay more in your body. Grounding isn't designed to cut you off from your head, just to add your awareness of your senses. Being connected to the earth through your body adds reality to whatever you're doing. You may have your own favorite way to do this. This is just one way. Try it and see what works best for you. Purpose To open your energy channels and connect your energy to the earth. 1. First thing in the morning. Do this practice at least once a day as soon after waking up as you can. Use it anytime you feel the need to release overwhelming thoughts, uncomfortable feelings, and to get more centered. 2. Straighten up. Stand straight, feet shoulder with apart. You can also do this sitting in an upright chair as long as your spine is straight. 3. Visualize. Visualize a golden ball of energy and light about ten feet above your head. If it reinforces your visualization, reach up with your hands. 4. Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath through your mouth into your belly. As you do, imagine the golden ball of light moving down into your heart. Again, use your hands if it helps. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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5. Out-breath. On your out-breath, visualize the energy and light streaming down through your body from your heart into the earth below you. Stretch your hands down if it strengthens your visualization. 6. Grounding. As your energy sinks into the ground, imagine that you're reaching into the earth and connecting as deeply as possible, all the way to the core if you can. If an image like roots stretching out from your feet or a solid column extending down out of your spine into the center of the earth helps, use it. 7. How do you feel? As you ground yourself in this way, notice how you feel. Do any sensations, emotions, or images surface? 8. Repeat. Repeat this cycle at least a few times until you feel your connection to the earth. Continue it for a few minutes until you feel more balanced and centered in your body. Cleanse the Energy of Your Scared Space As important as the previous suggestions are, there's more to creating a Tantric Sacred Space than cleaning up, getting dressed, and putting on some sexy music. Consciously making the place feel right comes next. We call this cleansing the energy of the space.

You can cleanse your chosen Tantric Sacred Space by burning a little sage, waving lit incense, or spraying some scent. Most health food stores have special essences that you can use. Put a few drops in a spray bottle full of water and you have a great aromatherapy cleansing tool. Also, you can use sound to cleanse your space. New age stores have a myriad of bells, chimes, and rattles to choose from. We're partial to the ancient style of brass bells because of their lovely sound. Tibetan bowls make great tones, too. Or


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maybe you'll prefer a drum along with singing or chanting to clear the energies. Choose whatever is most pleasing to you.

Cleansing your inner space is essential as well. Enter all of your preparations with a sacred attitude. While you're going through these steps, concentrate on why you're doing them, what your love means to you, and the role spirit plays in your life. Make these simple actions a meditation, focusing on the energies, feelings, and moods you want to invoke. In the next stage of the Tantric Sextasy Ritual, we'll suggest a lot more ways to intentionally create the kind of energetic environment you want. Specifically, gratitude, intentions, and communication will play a prominent role in creating your Tantric Sacred Space. Think about these things as you prepare as well. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Tantric Sacred Space Consider what you've read, journal, and discuss. • • • • •

What parts of creating a Tantric Sacred Space do you most like? Why? What parts of creating a Tantric Sacred Space are the least comfortable? Why? How have these steps affected you? How would you like to change these practices to make them work better for you? Are there any actions you'd like to add that will help you get in the mood for spiritual sex?

The 4 + 2 Directions While we're creating our Tantric Sacred Space, we like to honor the distinctive energies and verbally call in the spirit powers of what we call the 4 + 2 directions. This is a great way to feel connection to spirit and all that is while creating your Tantric Sacred Space. The four cardinal directions are south, west, north, and east and in the Native American tradition, they each represent different forces essential to life.


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The plus two directions are the powers of Mother Earth below and Father Sky above. In the tantric tradition, we each are manifestations of the god, Shiva or the goddess, Shakti. Symbolically, Shiva is father sky, pure consciousness and creativity, while Shakti is pure energy, manifester and mother earth. Shiva is yang, expansive. Shakti is yin, receptive and ripe. Each of the four cardinal directions represents a position on the Native American medicine wheel, the traditional guide for the cycles of one's life. The medicine wheel is a very old philosophy of life that you can physically experience. Medicine to the Native American means energy, vitality, or power inherent in nature itself. This kind of medicine is an earth-based form of personal empowerment. The Ancient Medicine Wheel Medicine wheel means a circle of energy generated under the control of the individual's thought processes. It's drawn as a set of symbols in the form of an encircled cross. Because it's so simple, you can easily create, move, and recreate one. Most importantly, it can have many uses in our lives. Some of the uses include gaining greater self-knowledge and realization of your self. It is a wheel of life. You can create a large medicine wheel on a piece of sacred land, or a small one on your dresser. In either case, place stones at each of the four cardinal directions: south, west, north, and east. Then put additional stones between those directions, three in each space. The creator stone sits at the center. There are three stones in each of the arms going out to the each direction. Each arm represents the four great paths of one's life. • • • •

South: love and trust, West: introspection and transformation, North: wisdom and knowledge, and East: illumination and clarity.


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Each direction has a season connected with it as well as the season of your life. There are colors, gemstones, and plants associated with each direction as well. Because each stone has its own meaning, you can meditate on a particular stone for clarifying an issue that's up for you. The medicine wheel is a philosophy and a place (real or metaphorically) to meditate on your life, your desires, your relationship, your community,

your

purpose,

your

divine

nature, etc. Each stone in the wheel has a message.

Each

position

can

tell

you

something you need to know. Many books have been written about the medicine wheel if you wish to know more. Invite the Forces of Nature Into Your Space In addition to the particular powers and strengths of the 4 + 2 directions, each of the cardinal directions is associated with a different animal. We typically invite these animal energies into our Tantric Sacred Space at the same time. The animals depend on the system you use and the teacher you follow. Our suggestions below roughly follow sun bear's system which has the coyote in the south, the bear in the west, the white buffalo in the north, and the eagle in the east. This is fairly standard among Native Americans in USA. There are also colors and elements associated with each direction. The coyote (south) is the trickster who tells you to play, feel passion, and not get too caught up in what reality appears to be. Perhaps most importantly, coyote reminds you not to take things too seriously and to laugh at yourself. You know, we each are pretty funny, if you think about yourself from a coyote perspective.


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Coyote's color is red, the color of passion, his element is water, and his focus is emotions. The bear (west) is strong, bringing us the energy of perseverance, patience, and power. The bear can bring you the courage to see things through. It is much grounded, very solid, and very strong. The bear's color is black, his element is earth, and his focus is the body. The white buffalo (north) brings us clarity and purity. It is the ending and the beginning. Think of the plants that seemingly die in the fall, are buried in the white snow, but come forth again, better than ever in the spring. The white buffalo's color is white, his element is air, and he deals with the mind. The eagle (east) represents the ability to know, to see the big picture. It provides the opportunity to broaden your sense of self, to soar above your normal, narrow life. Here is where you open the door to greater consciousness and find new beginnings. The eagle stands for illumination. Its color is yellow, the color of the rising sun, his element is fire and his focus is spirit. Remember, these are only suggestions for you to try on for size as you determine what has the most meaning for you. There is no right way or wrong way. There's only what makes you feel good. SOLO SEXERCISE: Tapping the 4 + 2 Directions Description Different tribes have slightly different versions of the medicine wheel so the above descriptions are meant to be general. We include them not because you have to follow any proscribed way of creating your Tantric Sacred Space, but to suggest various ways to consciously invoke the kind of energy you want to include.


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Feel free to read the words directly from this text the first few times you call in the 4 + 2 directions. Then you can just use what sticks or improvise according to your intuition. By the way, we recommend below that you say "aho" (or simply "ho") after each direction. This is a Native American practice to signify completion. In spiritual groups, we often use "aho" when we're finished sharing to clearly invite the next person to speak. Or in the case of a couple, it would indicate that it's your partner's turn. Saying "aho" isn't essential but adds a nice little respectful and traditional touch. We suggest that you do this practice after you've prepared your tantric altar, prepared the room, and lit some candles. Purpose To give you some specific steps to experiment with so that you can incorporate the 4 + 2 directions into your own way of creating a Tantric Sacred Space. 1. The present. When you and your lover are fully present, stand in the middle of your Tantric Sacred Space, and face the south. 2. South. With a rattle, drum or bell, make some sounds and say "spirit powers of the south, coyote, we honor you. Come and be with us. Teach us to play, feel the passion of life, and remember to laugh at ourselves. Please bring us the element of water so our emotions may flow smoothly and swiftly. We are pleased to have you in our sacred space today. Aho!" 3. West. Turn to the west, rattle, drum or ring the bell, "spirit powers of the west, we honor you. We call forth the powers of the great bear. Help us to learn our own strength while we remember to keep our feet on the ground. Teach us the power of patience and perseverance. Protect our space. We invite the element of earth to


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ground us and help keep us in our bodies. Come join with us. We honor you. Aho!" 4. North. Turn to the north, rattle, drum or ring the bell, "spirit powers of the north, we honor you. Sacred white buffalo, teach us to breathe deeply while we purify our essence and celebrate endings as merely doorways. Help us to feel and know clarity about our lives, our love, and our pleasure. Bring us the element of air to blow through our minds and uplift our power of awareness. Come be with us. We honor you. Aho!" 5. East. Turn to the east, rattle, drum or ring the bell. Say, "spirit powers of the east, we honor you. Blessed eagle, be with us in this Tantric Sacred Space. Honor us with your powers to help us see more clearly, more broadly. Please share your fire with us to help our spirits soar. We honor you. Aho!" 6. Mother earth. Bending down to touch the floor or ground, say "dearest mother earth, we so honor you and all your gifts. We honor all our relations, all of your creations with whom we share this incredible planet. We welcome the energy of Shakti in our sacred space so that we may be open and receptive. Help us to honor your essence as the deep feminine. Aho." 7. Father sky. Stand and reach upward, say "father sky, you have brought us so much creativity and consciousness. We honor the sun, the moon, great spirit, and you, symbolic of the adventuring masculine. We invite Shiva, the cosmic consciousness, here to connect us with the divine powers. Thank you. Aho" Sexercise Afterthoughts We realize these suggestions are quite specific. We know you may have learned other ideas for the specific directions or you might have a desire to change the words to better suit who you are. That's wonderful. We're simply offering a place to begin. Each of you is starting at a different place. The important point is that © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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you honor the qualities you mention. Each direction is not a deity, it's a concept. These teachings are very old and have within them much wisdom. Try it a few times. See how it feels. Then gradually evolve how you want to do it. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: 4 + 2 directions After practicing with calling in the directions, think about, journal, and talk about the following. • • • • •

How did you feel about doing this ritual practice? Which energies and animals did you most identify with? How do you feel now? What's different? What other energies would you like to bring into your sexual encounters (spiritual, heartfelt, childlike, spontaneous, animal, etc.) How would you like to change this practice to make it your own?

SOLO SEXERCISE: Create Your Tantric Sacred Space Description The following practice includes the things you should consider doing while creating your Tantric Sacred Space. Try our suggestions first. Then expand and modify as you and your lover feel called. Please read through the entire practice together before beginning. Purpose To experiment with creating your Tantric Sacred Space so you understand the fundamentals well enough to improvise and do what feels good to you. 1. Decorate. Clean up dust, dirt, stray objects, and loose clothing. Bathe your bodies and dress tantrically. Decorate your space to soften hard edges and add color. Use sarongs, wall hangings, paintings, sculptures, flowers, etc. Please cover your TV, if there is one in the space. Turn off or disconnect all your telephones. Collect whatever supplies you may need: water, snacks, towels, massage oil, sexual lubricant, condoms, sex toys, etc. 2. Centerpiece. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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Place a beautiful sarong on the bed, the floor, or a futon as the center of your practice. Novelty is important, but so is comfort. Experiment with what works best for you. 3. Senses. Set up a music player with chosen music loaded and playing. Keep a remote handy, if you have one. Place candles, bells, incense, and the like around to titillate your other senses. 4. Altar. If you don't have a dedicated altar, create one in the moment with objects that you've chosen with care. 5. Cleanse your space. Cleanse the energetic space with sage, incense, or sounds. 6. Call in sexual elements & energies. Call in the 4 + 2 directions as you learned in the previous practice. You may want to end by honoring the infinite stillness within each of you and your connection to source. 7. Cast out. Walk around the center of the space first in a counter-clockwise direction. By voicing them out loud, cast out energies, emotions, and attitudes you choose to leave out of your space, one at a time. Often we throw out things like shame, guilt, anger, resentment, anxiety, fear, projection, judgment, and inhibitions. For example, one might say "no fear here," followed by another saying "shame, begone" and "no anger welcome here". 8. Call in. Turn around and walk around your centerpiece the other direction, clockwise. Call in energies, emotions, and attitudes you want to include in your Tantric Sacred Space. For example, you may want to call in the energies of love, spirit, passion, ecstasy, juiciness, playfulness, laughter, orgasms, just to name a few. Be playful about this. Don't take yourselves too seriously. 9. Invite. © 2008 Gabrielle Moore, Somraj Pokras & Jeffrey TallTrees, Ph.D

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Finally, invite the spirit and energy of your ancestors, teachers, mentors, and leaders into your space, including any other loved ones who you're thinking of. Sexercise Afterthoughts This has been a walk through the process of creating a Tantric Sacred Space and the use of ritual. This ritual is part of what makes your sex spiritual and sacred. When you and your partner approach your sex play reverently with the intention of being present and opening your channels, magic can happen. Ecstatic states you would never have believed, orgasms that go on and on, a feeling of universal love and belongingness. You are making it happen by taking the steps we're outlining. It begins with the Tantric Sacred Space. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Creating Your Tantric Sacred Space After you practice creating your Tantric Sacred Space, here are some questions to reflect on, write about in your sexploration journal, or talk about. • • • • •

How did you feel coming into this ritual practice? What were your thoughts and feelings during the practice? How do you feel now? What's different? Are you ready to move into a more sensual place? How would you like to personalize creating a Tantric Sacred Space?

Choose Your Mood, Boost Your SEXtasy Here's what you experienced in the first stage of the Tantric Sextasy Ritual, consciously creating your Tantric Sacred Space. (1) Bathe and soften your skin with creams, if you like. (2) Dress yourself sensuously. (3) Create a tantric altar. (4) Put on sensual or melodic music. (5) Clean and decorate your space sensuously. (6) Ground and center yourselves.


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(7) Light candles, burn incense, and cleanse the energy of your space. (8) Call in the 4 + 2 directions and cast in and out energies. (9) Invite the presence of others like your teachers and ancestors. Creating a Tantric Sacred Space supports the feelings you want to create. Even more, the setting in which you choose to be intimate and make love reflects your state of mind and the priority you give to lovemaking. Be thoughtful about it. Pay attention to detail. Start making your engagement sweet, sacred, and hot from the get go.


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Day 2 – Tantric Sextasy Private Session – Closing Only your second day and yet look at how you’ve improved your sexual well-being already! Let’s recap what you’ve learned. In Chapter 3, you realized that Tantric sex is not just about bodily functions. No, it’s a mental, emotional, spiritual, and yes, physical ride to a whole new pleasure level. Think of it this way: whereas before, your lovemaking was only mainly focused on the elements between your legs, now nearly everything plays a role in your sexual crescendo. Think of how this magnifies whatever pleasure you felt before! A crucial point here are the sexercises about discovering how you and your lover can relate to each other how you want to have sex… in the best way possible. No more guessing games. No more mind-reading. Now, you know EXACTLY how to pleasure her, and she you. In Chapter 4, you discovered how to set up your very own Tantric Sacred Space. Now, you have a ‘lovemaking nook’, where sex does not start and end in minutes but where it can last for hours on end. More than anything, this chapter’s sexercises has enabled you to discover how to make lovemaking an ‘event’; something to look forward to, prepare for, and engage in for long – very long – periods time. We know it’s a lot to learn but let’s not break your Tantric stride now! Gear up for tomorrow’s lessons: How to Achieve Tantric Intimacy… Breath-toBreath, Skin-to-Skin, Body-to-Body, Orgasm-to-Orgasm. See you tomorrow!


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